not one of those immortal jellies

Trans men are just as much of a part of fandom culture and art history as any other identity - with a GREAT example being ND Stevenson, whose work people just push off as lesbian or gay rep while erasing the author's transmasculine identity.

Our music culture is only "ukulele songs about bugs" because people heard A SINGLE SONG BY CAVETOWN and went with it, while ignoring great artists like Dorian Electra, Sunrot, The Mechanisms (which included a transmasculine character in one of their albums), NOAHFINNCE and Miles McKenna because they see he/him on an Instagram bio and click back because they don't want to do anything with men, queer or not.

If people actually bothered to pay attention to our historical record instead of doing the internet equivalent of doodling eyes in the margin of your notebook, they'd have learned about Albert Cashier, a soldier that went to war presenting as a man -- and ran through No Man's Land and back while at risk of artillery fire -- and Dr. James Barry. The literal reason that western AFAB people have safer childbirths. They'd learn about Amelio Robles, who literally SHOT people that misgendered him.

Hell, if we go all the way back in time, you'd learn that alongside the transfeminine galla working in the shrines of Ishtar in the Mesapotamian times, there were also the transmasculine pilipili, but they're men, so they don't matter... right?

Lately, transgender men and transmasculine people have been speaking out more and more about our experiences to combat this erasure... only to have bullshit like this come out from not only supposed cis "allies" but our own trans community too.

I say this with all the gentleness in my heart: It is okay for you to be a man. If you want to be a man, you can just be one. You also don't have to stop being a woman to be a man. Multigender people exist. You can be a man and a woman at the same time. Or you can be just a man, or a non-binary man, or non-binary, or something entirely different. You can do and be whatever you want and whatever makes you happy.

Becoming a man is not a betrayal of womanhood and feminism. And everyone who makes you feel like it is an absolute asshole, and you should not ever listen to them. You do not have to push your own happiness aside for other peoples' comfort.

If you want to be a man, try it out! See where it gets you. Maybe it turns out that you really weren't trans, or not a trans man but something else entirely, and that's fine, too. Maybe it turns out you are a trans man. In any case, following those thoughts might get you to a happier and better place in the end. And if you turn out to be happier as a man than you were as a woman, that is wonderful.

Please don't feel forced to stay a cis woman for feminism - any feminism that mistreats or hates trans men and transmasculine people is bad feminism. Being a trans man or transmasc is not a moral failure.

I know what it feels like. It can get better.

All of this also goes for trans men and transmasculine people who still struggle with such thoughts, of course. It doesn't just go away the second you realize you are trans.

Hell, you can just decide one day that you are a man and change nothing about your life if you want to. The possibilities are endless. Transmasculinity is not a loss, a lessening, a closing of doors. It does not mean you are boring or traditionalist or falling in line with the status quo. It's cool as fuck, actually, and takes a lot of bravery and determination.

I'm worried that I'll join a "woman only" space and not be seen as one. I don't pass as a woman but I am one. Do I fall inside or outside of their category for what a "woman" is.

I still get nervous when I hear people talking about how much they hate men because not only did do I still look and sound like a man, I used to be a man and I'm not suddenly a different person because I've transitioned. All the hate they spew used to be directed at me so why would they stop now?

To be clear, it's not that you CAN'T feel gender is a kinna spiritual force within you, or something to that effect. I think we all do on at least some level. But my point is that trying to rip that spiritual force out of our bodies to dissect it and prove all the haters wrong because look it was here all along is just a waste of time and effort.

The psychologist herself was not wearing a skirt either.

This happens to disabled people too btw "why are you not sad? why don't you look in pain? Why did you do x or y if it is so bad for you? Why don't you take all the many precautions 24/7?"

libratory feminism sees no difference between men and women except those manufactured by patriarchy. misogyny is a symptom of patriarchy the system, not a structure by which to interpret patriarchy the system. replacing "sexism" with "misogyny" does not change the nature of the analysis, which is a weak one. patriarchy the system can induce the symptom of misogyny in any person subjected to that system. using sexism/misogyny/male chauvinism is not a useful lens of analysis when looking at patriarchy because women are misogynists too. let's not move backward on that. women are misogynists too and men are allies.

the recent "trans men are misogynists" allegations I've seen lodged against trans men are:

unprepared to be treated like a predator, may cry about it

asked that only trans men attend a trans mens' support group

discussed male loneliness instead of talking about violence against women

all of these are actually feminist discussions. so the backlash seems like angry feminist reactions to Men Having Feelings, which is not a new thing. in fact, hooks addresses it directly.

i see men being mocked for having their feelings hurt, men being mocked for wanting to discuss their feelings, and men being mocked because they're thinking about men and manhood in new and complex ways. exactly what the doctor ordered.

"My skeleton cannot match the ideal representation of my body", "I was born a gender that does not match who I am or want to be", and "I wish I could experience gender expression in the way that others are able to" are all very core aspects of being a trans person, regardless of how those aspects manifest or where they come from. There is something very relatable about feelings of gender yearning, and I have a lot of empathy for that

I don’t think there is anything wrong or strange about wishing you could reinvent yourself as something else entirely. Some of my biggest wishes and desires for what I wish my body could be like are impossible. The way in which I wish I could be perceived by the world seems impossible. The longer I’ve been trans the more I feel like defining ourselves around labels hurts and chokes us more often than it helps us understand and explain ourselves

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Like, saw multiple detrans t/erfs saying "thought I was trans but then I learned about feminism" and I'm like??? I knew about feminism way before I knew about trans people. this isn't trying to be a flex but like, nah bro we just read the actually good feminist thinkers, you know, the ones that acknowledge that sex is also a social construct, gender politics is more than abuser/victim, that gender actually has varied across time and culture, and has not always been tied to genitals. like, wild I know.

Maybe you should read some modern gender theory and you would feel better and stop passing your grimy copies of dworkin and the transsexual empire back and forth forever.