Our Lady's Tumbler

buying swimwear is full of indignities. i am poking around on the website where i am buying the specially sized bikini top i need due to having a huge rack (humble brag) and what do you mean the matching bikini bottom will cost FIFTY SIX american dollars and will not contain my bush even a little bit

i now own a signed first edition of The Hours by Michael Cunningham because somehow we had three identical copies in the shop today. i love my life!

my matchmaker just emailed me and was like could you listen to this podcast and see if you’d want to go out with the guest. you both like cats

thank you everyone for all your kindness about the eternal should-I-do-a-PhD question. unfortunately my godfather who is a real estate agent texted me out of the blue today and I might buy a condo instead

and while i'm on the subject of grad school. my undergrad roommate, who did the same weird humanities degree as me and was arguably better at it but pivoted and is now about to start medical school, was sitting with me and another friend who is currently doing a phd in religion and she was telling us a story about some guy who had a history phd and then adjuncted for a bit and then went to medical school and i was like oof why? just in a jeez that is so many extra years in school way. but my old roommate started giving me this really overly passionate spiel about how she was into the humanities but you know there's just only so much to do there and it's all so circular and academia is so insular etc etc so of course you should go to medical school so you can help people. and it was so suddenly nasty and so like. a pointed commentary on how she feels she's doing something important with her life now. and obviously this all reflects more on her values than on me and mine. but it's been two days and i'm still feeling some type of way about it. like sorry that i am managing to make a non-academic career out of history and you didn't even try? sorry that i miss sitting in seminar rooms and am an elitist at heart and all i want is to continue to enjoy the life of the mind? ugh

i was asking absolutely everybody at my college reunion if i should get a phd and the consensus basically was well if you can swing it financially... and indeed that is the main thing i am freaked out about. you know how freelance writers are SO open about money and there are lots of blogs about how writers Make It Work? are there similar blogs or forums for grad students? particularly in the humanities where the funding will not be from external-to-the-university bodies

lowkey sucks to live in the gayborhood and be a member of the community™ because I sound so reactionary when I announce that I hate pride weekend. but I went away for three days and was on amtrak for seven hours today and nevertheless the cab couldn’t get anywhere near my house so had to drag my suitcase several blocks through hordes of people only to find the police had completely blocked off my street and I had to show my ID 3 times to get to my front door

at my college reunion and my phone keeps trying to connect to the wifi even though I haven’t lived here in five years and also didn’t have this particular device in undergrad

standing in redacted area coffee shop which is staffed almost entirely by unionized queers their friends keep coming in to say hi because the pride parade starts two blocks from here they’re blasting tegan and sara before 10am and me? i have a fancy lunch with my mom later so i’m in a dress presenting as incredibly straight