Elevensies

One of the things I resent most about being Animal Brain Apex Predator trapped in Maximum Productivity Society is that I have to work when the weather is gross, instead of following my natural instinct to burrow myself into something dry and soft and sleep until Optimal Foraging Conditions

It is dark and cold and wet and miserable and I have a warm dark quiet hideaway full of food and drinking water that is safe from interlopers and for some ungodly reason instead of holing up there to conserve my energy, I am standing up in a brightly lit beige room for several hours. A possum wouldn't put up with this shit. I'm going to bite someone

they’re also known as “nerpas”

hang on babe let me just transcribe my last terrified words into this journal so the next adventurer that enters this crypt will have some semblance of environmental storytelling

“this is the hill you want to die on?” oh no i just love arguing. i fully intend to leave this hill once it gets boring. sorry for the confusion!

yeah i use this pro gamer technique called "hitting every single button frantically with my little raccoon hands until something happens" you probably wouldn't get it it's really advanced

we all have a limit to the bad things characters can do until we're not comfortable liking them but tbh some of you are just super fucking boring

I’m so used to boomers ruining social media platforms but these fine gentlemen singlehandedly made tiktok worth it.

i could get so much done if only i could get stuff done