Izzy

girl unhinge ur jaw

UNCLENCH. I MEANT UNCLENCH

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

oh no my pornography is turning into an angst-filled character study

Oh no my angst-filled character study is turning into pornography

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

Posts from a 17th century chymist who's about to have their bones dissolved by hydrofluoric acid.

DICKS OUT FOR HYDROFLUORIC ACID!!!

NOT A GOOD IDEA!!!!!

[taps mic] i like when fish have a big eyeball

*this meeting could have been an email voice* this cgi could have been a puppet

"ralsei is actually the girl in the prophecy" no. "actually lancer fills the lonely prince role so ralsei can transition." nope! "gaster or whoever alters the prophecy so that the prince is a princess!" "there's a secret hidden prophecy panel about ralsei's transition" "flowery knows ralsei is transfem because he saw it in the prophecy" NO! "the prophecy–" we do not need the evil and constricting rules that bind this world to a tragedy: gender affirming edition okay the point of the transitioning is to go against the prophecy

sometimes you trap a male false black widow under a cup in the middle of the night because he was roaming around on your ceiling looking for female spider pheromones and then his harmless dumb ass fell straight onto your bed so you had to contain him because you were tired and wanted to sleep. and sometimes that spider is no longer in that cup the next morning. as haunting as it is his determination is honestly kinda inspiring. chase your dreams little man hope you get spider laid

so, I hadn’t seen him since he escaped from his cup prison the other day (I did, however, find a ridiculously tiny vampire bite mark on my tummy— it did not swell or itch, like I said, he’s harmless), and I came home today to find ants swarming my bathroom. and there he was, following the trail and making a meal of em. He really got his revenge by biting me (pathetically) and then made an effort to prove his worth. I think we’re basically best friends now