Things

IT'S CALLED A BOQUILA TRIOFOLIOLATA AND IT'S FUCKING WITH MY BRAIN

IT APPARENTLY CAN MIMIC OTHER PLANTS AND AT FIRST I WAS LIKE "oh cool man it must take it's genetic code and copy it or feel the roots or something like that!! :3"

AND THEN I READ AN ARTICLE ON IT AND THESE FUCKING PARAGRAPHS HIT ME LIKE A BUS

LIKE READ THIS SHIT

But.

I feel like there's another side to this coin that doesn't get acknowledged or noticed much—his supreme self-importance masked as self-deprecation. He genuinely believes that only he can save YJH, that only he can understand YJH, that his death is the grand, necessary price for everyone else's happiness. He frames it as self-sacrifice, but underneath it, there's this unshakeable fucking belief that he's the only one who can carry the weight in that "messiah complex dressed up in self-loathing" way. He sees himself as the protagonist of YJH's story in his own head and I don't think he even realizes that's what he's doing. And I think people ignore this because it complicates the "poor sad boy KDJ" narrative that's so popular. It's easier to infantilize him and treat him like a victim of circumstance who just can't help but sacrifice himself, than to acknowledge that he's actively making choices. And some of those choices are rooted in a deeply held belief that he knows better than everyone else. He's not just doing what needs to be done, he's doing what he thinks needs to be done, and he doesn't really care what anyone else thinks about it.

It's also not that he doesn't know people care about him. He does, he's not actually that oblivious. The text shows him understanding that his party wants him around and that they'd miss him terribly if he was gone, but he waves it off because acknowledging it would mean actually having to face the consequences of his choices. It's easier to keep the pity party going than to actually sit with the fact that people love him and he's hurting them a lot. He's dense about some things, yes, but he's not fucking blind. He just chooses to ignore it because looking at it directly would mean he'd have to stop running away.

THERE’S MOOOORE