Em

I keep having dreams where a painless wound in my side becomes infected and grows gradually more hollow. The surface flesh is so dry and fragile that a gentle touch can cause it to cave in, and I need to clean it and see a doctor, but I'm terrified that other people will notice, so I try to hide it as I go about my day, but the story never really resolves before I wake up. Anyway, Brad, Lindsey, you two make an unstoppable team and you have your whole lives ahead of you. Let's all raise our glasses to the happy couple 🥂

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

can i come to your house and make you know some information

How often do u have to do interesting stuff to be an interesting person

*looks at polyamorous triad* so which of you is the soldier and which is the poet and which is the king

i really really love it when women are crazy and evil. it’s a tragedy that so few trans women are able to become supervillains…

When I was a kid watching tv was idiot coded and nerds read books, but now scrolling shortform videos is considered braindead behavior and watching tv means you're some kinda intellectual. You might think this shifting assessment of media's consumers might make readers into absolute super geniuses, but no. Only perverts read now.

if my rice cooker was a woman i would be conflicted about fucking her. id try to like romance her a little, you know? go on a few dates and learn about her interests. it'd feel really bad to try to get up her skirt as soon as i saw her just because i want her extremely badly