Dancer Cotillion

“Sorry.” No amount of ‘sorry’ would ever make any of this okay. Kokichi was dying, if Kaito didn’t kill him with the press, the poison would. He’d had the antidote but he’d given it to Kaito, dooming himself. Would Kaito have been able to do the same in his position? Sacrifice himself to save someone who’d considered him an enemy even for a plan like this. He… didn’t know. One thing he did know for sure though was… “I’m sorry for how all this turned out and… for how awful I treated you.”

“Don’t be, I set myself up as your enemy on purpose. You and all the others were supposed to hate me otherwise none of this would’ve worked.” And at the end of this plan of his, he was going to die a gruesome death. The others would all hate him even more for it too. Could anything be more tragic?

“I don’t hate you, I never did.” Kaito didn’t have it in him to hate someone. He’d just… let the stress of everything get to him. That was no excuse, he was supposed to encourage everybody and get them all to work as a team but it was all so much. So… he’d played favourites and only helped a small number of people. He didn’t regret how much time he’d spent with them but… he should’ve done more for the others, Kokichi included even if he did often go out of his way to be antagonistic. It was too late now though, Kokichi was dying and Kaito didn’t have much longer left himself; the taste of blood in his mouth now seemed permanent.

One last thing he did have time for though was… “I’d like to consider you a friend if that’s okay?” He held out a hand.

Kokichi stared at it before looking up to meet his eyes. “Getting all sappy because I’m dying, huh? But all right, sure, we can be friends. No reason not to, I’m choosing to trust you with my plan after all.” His hand was hot and sweaty in Kaito’s as they shook, sealing the deal. And it might’ve just been Kaito’s imagination it also seemed to be shaking a little. Pain, fear, or both? It was hard to guess.

“Now,” Kokichi said as they let go, “can… can I have one last request?”

“Uh… sure.” There wasn’t much Kaito could do for him but as long as it was within his ability to do, he’d gladly do it.

“Regardless of how our plan turns out, whether it fails or succeeds, once you step out of the Exisal and reveal it to them could you… remind everyone that I’m a liar?”

“Why?”

“Because I… want them to remember me as a liar and a sneak, not some poor little misunderstood sad boy to be pitied because I died a tragic death trying to save everyone.” He scowled at the thought as if being pitied was far worse than being hated. … Which well, made sense. Kaito wasn’t sure if he shared that sentiment but he understood it so…

“Sure, I’ll make sure to remind everyone you’re a liar.” In his heart he’d known the truth though and would never forget it.

“Thanks,” Kokichi whispered as he turned back towards the press. He got under it silently and carefully.

With a grimace, Kaito turned towards the control platform. He only got a single step before a soft sob behind him froze him in his tracks. He turned back towards the press and knelt down bedside it so he could see Kokichi better. His brave mask had finally broken as he stared down his impending death inches above him. Tears leaked from his eyes as he shook.

Kaito took his hand, gently squeezing it. What words could he possibly offer in comfort? They were high school students for fuck’s sake, death was not something people as young as them should be facing, especially death like this. It was wrong and unjust on so many levels and there was nothing Kaito could do about it.

“I… don’t want to die,” Kokichi choked out in a whisper, squeezing Kaito’s hand.

“I know.” Kaito didn’t want to die either. At least he still had some time left… not much though. “You’re not alone though, I’m here.” It was the only comfort he could offer.

There was long moment of silence, broken only by another soft sob, before Kokichi answered with a whisper. “T-thank you.”

“You… you want to… let the poison do it.” It wouldn’t make a difference if he was… crushed after he died, right? No one would be able to tell the difference. And that way Kaito could stay by his side until the very end.

Kokichi let out another soft sob. “Can’t… risk it. We’ve already taken so much time… discussing everything and setting it all up. We don’t know how… long before the electro-bomb wears off.”

“You sure?”

“Yes and… i-it’ll be over faster.” That… didn’t sound like it truly appealed to him. On the brink of death even his ability to lie was crumbling. “Just… promise you won’t let my death be for nothing, please.”

“I promise.”

They were silent for a few minutes while Kokichi steeled himself again. Or tried to, he wasn’t doing a great job at it and who could blame him for that? He as slowly dying of poison, about to get crushed to death, Kaito wouldn’t have been able to pretend to be okay with that for even a few seconds let alone how long Kokichi had been keeping up the act for.

But he eventually let go of Kaito’s hand. “Do it. Don’t hesitate. And don’t forget the camera.” His voice was firmer than it had any right to be even if the look on his face and tears leaking from his eyes betrayed it.

“All right uh…” Kaito straightened. “Good bye.” People in movies and books always seemed to regret not having wished their friends or family farewell before they died so he’d at least have that, right? Not that he’d have long to be haunted by this – a small mercy that came with his own impending death via terminal illness – but he had to say something.

“Good bye,” Kokichi replied, his voice nearly inaudible, a few seconds later as Kaito headed up the control platform. He almost turned back towards him but… there was nothing more that could be said or done. It was best to just get it over with, end his suffering and pack everything up before the electro-bomb’s effects wore off.

At the top of the control platform, Kaito felt almost sick as he looked at the controls and camera. Was he really about to press a single button and… end Kokichi’s life? That just wasn’t right. Things weren’t supposed to work like that. How could he possibly…

“Don’t hesitate,” he whispered to himself as he put one hand on the record button on the camera, the other over the button that would send the press down. With a deep breath, he pressed them both at the same time.

The press’ hum resumed, much quieter from up here but still filling the heavy silence and thankfully drowning out any further sounds of sobbing Kokichi might’ve made. Kaito didn’t want to watch but… at the same time he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t see Kokichi from this angle, the press was too low, but… this was the closest thing he could get to being there for him in his final moments, right?

So, he watched the press, already so low, lower further. It settled home with a sound somewhere between a wet pop and a crunch followed a half second later by the clang of metal meeting metal. Blood sprayed out from under it like a large water balloon filled with red paint had burst. And just like that, Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader, was no more. All that was left of him was smooshed flat as pancake under the press and the splash of blood that had escaped it.

Hands and face numb, Kaito stopped the recording and packed up the camera and its tripod. Then he set about, preparing the rest of the crime scene; cutting the cord to the control platform and double check to make sure nothing remained that’d give hint to what they’d done.

The tears didn’t hit until he was hidden safely away in the Exisal. He hunched in on himself as he let out a shaky sob that turned into a painful cough. He wanted to curl up in a ball but the pilot seat didn’t allow for it. So he sat there and cried into the spare jacket Kokichi brought for him way earlier that day – felt like a lifetime ago – that he’d grabbed before entering the Exisal without even thinking about it.

“You don’t seem to be in the Christmas spirit.”

Kaito looked up from his textbook to see that Kokichi had sat across from him. “They all seem to have it handled. They don’t need my help.” They seemed to be almost done in fact.

“I wasn’t just talking about you not helping with the decorations,” Kokichi replied. “It’s odd, I always thought you’d be the kind to be excited for Christmas.”

“I am. What makes you think otherwise?”

Kokichi raised an eyebrow. “If you’re going to lie, you could at least try to sell it.” Well lying to the master of lies probably hadn’t been a good idea. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of though. It’s actually kind of nice not being the only one not feeling any holiday cheer for once.”

“You mean… you don’t like Christmas either?”

“Nope. I like the idea of the holiday and its themes but… it’s just kind of exhausting in real life.”

“Oh.” The last thing Kaito had expected was for someone to experience the holidays similar to how he did when everyone else he met loved Christmas. Even less, would he have expected that someone to be Kokichi and would share it with him.

“Unless I’m lying about it to make you feel better,” Kokichi said with a mischievous grin, the one that Kaito was learning meant he was probably lying. Lying about lying was something he’d totally do. Besides…

“Yeah, right,” Kaito scoffed. “How many lies have you told to make people feel better?”

“Tons, that’s my number one reason to lie. … Expect that’s a lie; my top reason to lie is because it’s fun.”

Kaito sighed and shook his head, trying to hold back a smile because he couldn’t let Kokichi know he’d charmed him. “Anyway uh… since we’re both not feeling the Christmas cheer everyone else is, you want to hang out somewhere else?” Turns out, their classmates weren’t almost done decorating study hall after all, they’d decided to start putting up a plastic Christmas tree in the corner and someone had brought in a radio playing Christmas music.

“Um… sure,” Kokichi said as he stood up.

“Well, I hope you have fun galivanting off into an empty void,” he said with a lighthearted tone. “While you’re up there, I’m going to be down here slowly taking over the world and ruling from the shadows.”

There was a short pause before Kaito answered. “What are you actually planning to do after school? And don’t say what you just said because I don’t really believe it. You’ve got your D.I.C.E. gang and you guys do some pretty neat stuff but… three of them have already had to leave and I’ve only ever been sort of a member. But even if you had all ten plus me, ruling the world isn’t something you could do with that many people.”

“We’ll expand. Eventually I’ll be telling the truth when I say my organization has more than ten thousand members.” A lie. Kokichi didn’t know what he was going to do after college. He hadn’t even been sure he was going to go until he started dating Kaito.

“Well… if you say so, I guess.” There was a frown in Kaito’s voice; he didn’t believe it. “I… didn’t think expanding was something you were interested in though.”

“That’s because I’m busy with school and stuff. Once we graduate and you leave me to go off to space, I’ll be free to devote all myself to expanding D.I.C.E. and taking over the world.” Assuming the rest of his gang didn’t get called away, die, or decide to leave because they were offered a better opportunity elsewhere, Kokichi probably would end up devoting more time into them. Taking over the world was a long shot and not something he was truthfully interested in doing but they could do other things. “It’ll be great.”

“’Leave you’? I’m not going to leave you. I know graduating college and stuff is a quite few years from now but… I think we’ll still be together then. Don’t you?”

Kokichi stared at the gorgeous night sky as if he were unbothered by the thought of Kaito abandoning him. “Whether we’re still dating then or not doesn’t matter. You’re going to leave for space as soon as possible, am I right?”

“Yes but… that doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you… unless you want me to?” Kaito was sitting up now but Kokichi still didn’t look at him.

“Um… that does kind of mean you’re going to leave me. You’ll be up in space so you’ll have more important things to worry about than me still down here on Earth. And you’ll probably find some hot astronaut guy you want to date instead. But that’s fine, I’m happy for you. Don’t worry about me, I’ll live.” Faking nonchalance was always harder when it was personal but he did pretty decent job.

There was a pause, long enough that Kokichi was tempted to look before Kaito spoke again. “You’re lying. And for you, it’s a very poor lie. I don’t think that lie would’ve even fooled me back when we first met.”

Okay so maybe Kokichi’s voice had been a bit too strained and lacking confidence. It was hard though because he hadn’t been expecting this conversation. He shouldn’t have mentioned Kaito leaving him at all, it had just kind of slipped out because it was the truth. See? This was what telling the truth got him.

“Fine,” he said, letting his tone deflate. “You caught me, I’m a liar. Congrats on figuring it out.”

Kaito stepped into his field of vision to look down at him – Kokichi hadn’t even heard him get up out of his chair. “So,” he said, “What’s this about you thinking I’m going to leave you when I go off to space?”

“Well, aren’t you?”

“Physically yes, but I’ll be back, no one lives in space. And I’ll be allowed to call you fairly often. So… unless you’re not all right with our relationship sometimes being long distance then… then there should be no problem, right?”

“You… really think you’re going to want to continue to bother with me when you’re up in space, living your dream?” Kokichi wasn’t worth the effort, especially when Kaito would no doubt have better partner options available who could live his dream with him.

“Yes!” There was… conviction in Kaito’s voice, strong conviction, not fake unless Kaito suddenly became a better liar than Kokichi.

“Why?”

“Because… because… I love you. Even if I’ve never been able to say it, you know that, right?”

No Kokichi didn’t know that, would’ve never even guessed it. No one had ever loved him before and there had to be a reason for that, right? So why was Kaito saying that he did?

“So,” Kaito continued, “I’m not going to leave you when I go off to space. I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise.”

“You really mean that?”

“Yes, I do.”

How was Kokichi supposed to respond to that? He was at a loss. He hadn’t expected any of this and it was all so far out of his control. And it was late, he was tired enough that his brain was starting to run slower. He wanted to go sleep and not think about this anymore.

“Look uh… I have a gift for,” Kaito said. “I was going to give it to you on the last day of summer but… because of all this, I think I want to give it to you now.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll show you.” He extended his hand, offering to help Kokichi to his feet. Hesitantly Kokichi expected it. Once on his feet, Kaito didn’t let go of his hand, instead started leading him back towards his grandparents’ farm house. The porch light wasn’t on, it had burnt out a few days ago and had yet to be replaced. But the light from the moon was more than enough to get them back inside in one piece.

Inside, Kaito didn’t say anything. He led Kokichi back to his room, so familiar with the house he didn’t need to turn on a light until they were in his room with the door shut.

He went straight to the half of his room dedicated to his many potted plants, organized far nicer than the other side of the room with mostly various types of space themed decorations. He moved aside two near the wall to pull out a rectangular black box that had been hidden behind them. He returned to Kokichi and gave it to him.

Kokichi accepted it and placed it on Kaito’s desk to open it. Inside was… a jacket identical to the one Kaito wore but smaller, probably fitted for Kokichi if he had to guess. He pulled it out to give a better look. Yep it was pretty much the exact same jacket, smaller. And… Kokichi’s name was embroidered on the inner collar.

“You’re always borrowing mine so I figured I’d get you one that actually fits,” Kaito said when Kokichi looked back up at him. “You like it?”

“Yes, thank you. I’m still going to borrow yours sometimes though and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Kaito chuckled. “Yeah, I figured. But uh… you believe me when I say I’m not going to leave? And that I love you?”

“Yes.” Kokichi believed Kaito believed it. Things could easily change in the intervening time but… maybe for once they wouldn’t? He was allowed to hope for that, right? “I uh… love you too.” Just like no one had ever said those words to him before, this was also the first time he’d said them to someone; they felt true. Could a liar like him really know what ‘true’ felt like though?

Kaito stepped forward to kiss him on the forehead, making him blush far more than he’d like to. “Let’s uh… go to bed. We can talk more about this in the morning if you want.”

Kokichi had talked to him about doing a lot of different things in all the years they’d known each other, even more since they became college roommates and shortly after that started dating. So there was a still a large pool of options. It being legal, something Kaito wouldn’t be mad about, and something that only took a few hours did narrow it down though so… “Uh… well pets aren’t allowed in the dorm and I don’t see how you could be hiding one anywhere on you so you either got a piercing or a tattoo. I’m guessing the latter since I don’t see any piercings unless it’s on your tongue or nipples. But I don’t think you’d go for that, not for your first at least, so I’m guessing tattoo.”

“Ding, ding, ding, you are correct!” Kokichi smiled brightly up as him as he took a step closer. “Can you guess where it is though and more importantly what it is?”

“Can’t you just show it to me?” Kaito was starting to get swept up in his excitement so he wanted to know now.

“You’re no fun.” Kokichi gave him a fake look of disappointment that he couldn’t hold onto for more than five seconds. “But fine, I’ll show you.”

He reached up and started undoing the buttons on his shirt. Once enough were undone, he pulled it off over his head, tossing it to the bottom bunk – Kaito’s bunk. “Here,” he said, turning so that it would be visible on his left shoulder. Kaito leaned in a bit to get a good look at it.

The skin around it was red; irritated by the tattooing process. But even with that, the deep blues and purples making up the almost Saturn like planet looked rather nice. The ring around it was a lighter shade of purple and on it was… Kaito’s name written in small intricate cursive with a small heart dotting the ‘i’.

“Oh,” Kaito said, taking a small step back.

Kokichi turned to face him again, still smiling excitedly. “You like it?” There was the tiniest edge of nervousness in his voice. Or maybe Kaito was just imagining it because he was suddenly feeling a bit nervous.

“Uh… yeah. It looks very nice but… why my name?”

“Because we’re dating silly, who’s else name would I put on there?”

“I meant… why put a name on there at all? Like… you know, you’re going to be stuck with my name on you forever, right? That’s not something you should take lightly. What if… something happens one day and we’re not dating anymore?”

Now some of Kokichi’s excitement did fade a little. “Are you saying you think we’re going to break up someday?”

“I don’t want to but… it theoretically could happen one day.” They were still young. How many relationships started in the early years of college lasted a long time? Some certainly did and hopefully theirs would but they had no way of knowing right now if it would or not.

“True but I prefer not to think like that. I want things to stay how they are now so I’m going to operate as if I know for sure that they will. But… do you not like that I included your name on my tattoo? I thought about asking you first but I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Uh… no, I… like it.” A lot. It represented a level of commitment that Kaito hadn’t been sure Kokichi had. Talking about that kind of stuff was difficult for both of them so they didn’t do so as often as they probably should. “I’m flattered actually.”

“Good!” Kokichi’s mischievous smile returned. But before he could say whatever he was planning to say to ruin the moment, Kaito stepped forward and bent down a bit to kiss him on the lips. He paused for half a second before reciprocating, standing up on his toes to assist with the height difference and reaching up to lightly grasp the collar of Kaito’s jacket.

“I love you,” Kaito whispered when they finally pulled apart of air.

“I love you too,” Kokichi replied, blushing a little despite how many times they’d exchanged those words.