Another WIP i've had sitting for what feels like forever. It was supposed to be set in the same time ish as Chase the Star, which is a galaxsea fic, but given how little fanfic i write these days... Anyways maybe ppl will enjoy this?
He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Erik had a feeling that something was wrong when Sasha didn’t respond to his text that morning about flight details. But while he was in the engineering building? Sasha didn’t have classes here, and if he wanted to talk with Erik he would text him to meet somewhere else. Like the gym.
But here he was, holding onto Erik’s arm in the hallway between seminar rooms. Erik didn’t even notice him at first what, with his headphones on and the fact that he kept his eyes forward, and conveniently over everyone else’s head. When he felt himself being pulled to a stop he had to look down and at Sasha’s eyes and think for a moment about what he was supposed to do. First, he pulled his headphones down and waited for Sasha to say something. His eyes were wide, and paired with that frown, that wasn’t a good sign.
It took him too long to start the conversation, so Erik prompted him.
Sasha shook his head slightly then nodded. “Privacy?”
That made Erik frown. Then, he led them back towards the seminar room he used for tutoring. There was no class here for the next couple hours, so he put his bag down on one of the desks and leaned against the chairs.
Sasha didn’t even have a bag on him. He just stood there with his arms crossed. Then, he said, “Your father called.”
“You?” Erik asked. He felt his brows draw together. His father was so busy that Erik barely talked to him outside of those reunions. Why would…
“Yes. He said… he said he would give me money if I never talked to you again.”
These words were an echo of words he’s heard before. It was a life changing amount of money. He already knew without asking because again, he’s heard this all before. And he also knew that Sasha needed it. Just like Reina did.
“Erik?” Sasha reached over for his arm.
Fuck. Erik pulled his arm away and reached for his bag. “Yeah, makes sense. You should take it.”
He grabbed his bag and started walking towards the door. Just as he reached out for it, Sasha slipped between him and the door and shoved hard against his chest. There was always a height and weight difference between them, but the shove did cause Erik to stumble back a couple steps. He just gave Sasha a bewildered look. Why did he look so angry? Scowl on his forehead, frown on his lips, and fists all balled up. It had been so long that Erik didn’t even realize that he was no longer used to that glare, and it make him feel just a little defensive.
“Do you have nothing else to say?” Sasha demanded. His shoulders were tense and his voice was getting a little higher pitch while also getting louder.
Erik shrugged. “What is there to say? I know you need money for school, for equipment — fuck, the reason why we made the deal in the first place was so you wouldn’t lose the scholarship. And back then, I told you this would happen, and that when it did, you should take the deal.”
Again, he tried to walk around Sasha, but he wasn’t allowed to. Sasha pushed him again to keep Erik away from the door. Already, the glare and the scowl were softening. His eyes seemed to be pleading with Erik, but for what? Erik could not logically think of a reason why Sasha would not take this deal.
“Why won’t you even try to fight? Why is it so easy to walk away?” Sasha’s voice cracked on the last bit of that question. Then, he let out a breath and leaned against the door. “You said that before…”
When it was clear that Sasha was unable to continue, Erik instead explained, “If you take the deal, you walk away in a good spot, right? But if you stay with me, then they will make sure you get nothing from me. They might even cut me out.”
With a cautious eye, Erik observed how Sasha crossed his arms in front of his chest, and how he looked to the side with that sad gleam. Everything about him softened, and Erik couldn’t help but reach out for him. With his hands holding Sasha’s shoulder, he lowered his head slightly so they were eye to eye.
“You need money to survive — hell, everyone does. You don’t need me though.” Erik waited for Sasha to meet his eyes again. He knew that his words made sense, so he just needed to watch for a sign of defeat from Sasha.
“Have your feelings… Do you think of me differently now? Than before?” Sasha said it quietly, so much so that for a second, Erik had to figure out if he actually heard that or if it was some part of his imagination.
The answer was, well, of course. For how clever or smart his mind was, Erik had a stupid heart that refused to listen to his brain, and it liked to jump headfirst off a cliff to fall in love. That was what happened with Sasha. It just took one moment, and he felt the warmth of love around him again. Before, Sasha was just some future Olympic athlete with an ego that matched his skill. Now, he was a competent partner who loved deeply and stood by Erik no matter the potential consequences with his own crowd. Sasha was not ashamed, and how many people could say that about him? He could fucking count the people on just one hand.
“How could I not?” He leaned in to kiss Sasha gently on the lips. “I… I wasn’t lying when I said I love you.”
Sasha nodded, that brilliant smile returning for just a second before asking, “Then could you survive?”
“Could you find a way to survive without your father’s money?” Sasha clarified. “If so, then… you should know that I have always found a way to survive too. I am not afraid of having nothing. As long as I have you and my family.”
That was true. Sasha pushed through any discomfort and shame to apologize to Erik and ask for help just to make sure he stayed. Even when he was at the lowest points of when he was ill, he was still self-sufficient. A survivor to his core.
“I…” Erik still couldn’t help but hesitate. He loved Sasha, that was a fundamental truth of his very being, but he couldn’t help but let all his racing thoughts crash into his carefully built walls, only furthering his own need to maintain some sort of control here.
With his two hands, Sasha cupped Erik’s face and forced him to maintain eye contact with him. “What is it?”
“I don’t know." Though pathetic, that was all Erik could manage to say.
“What are you afraid of?” Sasha asked. “I will be okay no matter what. I will love you no matter what. So, why are you considering this when I want no part of it?”
How could Sasha continue to throw himself into Erik with all his will when Erik couldn’t even agree? Sasha was likely wondering now if maybe he was wrong to put his faith in Erik. For it was not the money that was the issue.
“What if I’m the problem?”
amandla
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titsay
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