'Cuz she's my Arab Princess

there's a pause. "are you gonna do anything or just stare at me?"

"i'm staring at the camera, not you."

your head rocks back against the back of the chair. a groan so loud it makes your lips vibrate echoes out down the hall, against the rest of the empty cage cells that line the basement.

normally, you'd have fun with these tests to the other lackeys that mori throws your way. by now, you'd have them squirming, sweating under their collars— usually spilling the false intel they were told to safeguard.

with chuuya? this was about testing his resolve. only a few minutes in and you decided getting the intel wasn't the goal anymore— it was to crack that composure that he swears is iron clad. it's not, you know that.

but that's the fun in this test.

another couple of beats pass. you're listening to the drip from one of the cells— a leak that still hasn't gotten fixed, no matter how often someone has complained about it. your pen clicks in and out to match the tempo of the drip idly.

"are you gonna do anything?"

"like what?" chuuya responds—his voice pitches upward a little, meaning your little taunts are starting to work. and the fact that it's working so soon already just goes to prove how annoying he truly found you. his hands are clenched and his shoulders look tense. but that could just be chuuya.

your eyes seem to search the ceiling for your next response. "idunno," a pause— as if you took time to think of a good idea, "whip it out or something."

silence.

you think you've managed to finally shock chuuya to silence with something completely out of left field— but then comes the sputtering. the way he rears back from where the camera almost resembles a cornered, feral stray.

the only thing missing is the outraged hissing and raised fur.

"like hell i am doing that," he manages to snarl out— eyes glaring daggers in your direction. "the fuck are you on about?"

the push back is just as much of a test for you as this whole endeavor is for him. chuuya's testing to see just how far you'll goad him. the consequences however? unknown.

you've never been one to turn down a test— not one from chuuya, that is.

"whip it out," you repeat. your ankles have since uncrossed from their spot on top of the desk and now sit stationary on the floor. you lean onto your elbows, teeth pulling at your lower lip with intrigue.

sure, it's not your usual interrogation tactics; but once a vulnerability is exposed (even if just a peek) you've been taught to latch on. the port mafia bred sharks— and you were swimming into blood-soaked water.

"c'mon, chuuya. you're not a pussy, are you?" you watch chuuya tense further. you know he hates being goaded. hates being taunted so explicitly. if looks could kill, could cause physical harm— you'd be put through the wall at the moment. "what, are you afraid i'm gonna laugh at your dick?"

chuuya scowls. "i don't need public indecency on my record," he spits back in response.

now this— you've discovered— is where the tide is starting to turn in your favor. the more he talks, the more he argues; the easier it is to tear down that wall of composure he's so keen on keeping intact. from the amount of time you've worked with chuuya, you've learned what makes him tick like a well programmed bomb.

"but you can have illegal weapon smuggling," you counter in response. "kidnapping? blackmail?"

"infinitely better than having my dick out!"

"stalking, chuuya?" you continue as if you're not even listening to him. "destruction of property? mass murder?"

"what, do you have a list?" the tension rises. he's getting angrier.

"assault?"

chuuya's gravity manipulation warps inside of the cell. the webcam fizzes for a moment, the screen losing it's picture for a beat before it fixes itself and continues on recording. when the picture is stable again, it shows chuuya in the middle of the room, hands clenched at his sides tightly you're sure his knuckles are white.

a beat of silence passes. you watch the heavy fall of his chest— labored breathing as he composes himself.

"y'know, mori's gonna be pissed if this camera breaks—"

chuuya snaps. "will you shut the fuck up for five minutes?" his eyes are wide— you can see them clear through the screen. they're wild with anger, irritation. "i am not pulling my dick out so you can just taunt me about it for years after this. it's not fucking happening!"

you lean back in your chair. you really didn't mind about if you did happen to see chuuya's cock— but now you're determined. he's so adamant on denying the possibility of doing so that you are now willing to do or say whatever it will take to get him to do it. in your mind, it's a win-win. you win the argument, the test— and ultimately you get the privilege of seeing his dick.

"you act like i'm going to save a recording of this," you reply evenly. "mori doesn't even watch these tapes."

it's a lie, and chuuya knows it. he calls you out on it almost immediately. "bullshit," he scoffs, lip curling in distaste. "i know mori watches these tapes. i'm not stupid."

"i've been doing these tests for over a year and a half, chuuya," you respond. your teeth sink into your lower lip as you try and fail to hide a smirk. "mori doesn't watch the tapes."

your smirk stretches wider as you watch chuuya hesitate, as if considering the subtle point in your words. and while yes, you are correct— mori's given you this job over a year and a half ago, so you would know if he goes over them or not. your little white lie is the fact that you will have to delete the footage if chuuya succumbs to your taunts, because mori for sure still watches the tapes after you're done with each test.

you watch chuuya throw his head back with a long, painful sounding resigned sigh. his hands clench at his side one final time, before they lift towards his belt. he doesn't look towards the camera at all. "this better not see the light of day, or i will kill you."

you know he'll carry through on his threat. but you don't care— you're absolutely giddy. your foot bounces with anticipation, teeth pulling at your lower lip as you watch the screen with rapt attention. the recording has stopped, sure. but in your head? this footage will be replaying for months following.

he stops at unbuckling his belt. the straps dangle against his pelvis like they're curtains, like the doors of a cage— keeping what you're hoping is a monster caged behind the teeth of a zipper. what are you even thinking, you scold yourself internally. chuuya might look good— but he doesn't have a monster dick.

does he?

you're not sure if you're hoping he does or not.

his gaze turns back towards the camera. "why am i even doing this?"

you try not to sound too eager. that would kill all the tension you've built, all the irritation you've stirred in his chest. "because," you reply shortly, "you have yet to show me anything impressive, chuuya."

the audacity that morphs onto his expression is almost comical. chuuya sputters again, looking outraged at the implication that you've thrown boldly in his face. and even though the mic from the webcam doesn't pick up audio that well— you can swear that you hear him muttering under his breath.

'…fuckin' idiot…'

'… show you something impressive…'

'… you haven't ever seen a dick like mine, how would you know—'

you'd laugh if you weren't on the threshold of witnessing something legendary.

you find yourself wetting your lips the second his cock is revealed on screen. average sized— thin, but it looks longer than it probably is. there's such a delicate curve to it that you weren't expecting, his tip a rosy color that you find fits perfectly. even his balls looked nice.

so he wasn't monster sized. but at this point, you have victory gripped underneath your fingernails. you couldn't care less.

of course port mafia executives took care of themselves. they looked nice— even to this degree. and you wanted to say something witty, some good clever comeback once it was all said and done, but you found it increasingly harder to look away.

chuuya— flushed red with color down to his collarbone, strokes himself with a few shallow pumps. he avoids the camera, awkward and stiff. he visibly has to swallow before he opens his mouth to speak again. "so?"

"so?" you mock back at him. "is that all you've got?"

you didn't think he could get any more outraged. if anything, the expression is more exaggerated, more dramatic now that he's exposed. he flushes crimson— you're pretty sure if he wasn't wearing his shirt he'd be aflame all the way down his chest.

"what'dya mean 'is this all i've got'?" he practically spits back in response. his cock jumps, twitches almost. for a split second you wonder if the arguing, the fighting is actually turning him on. "you asked to see it, so i did!"

"you're not gonna give me a show?" you reply. even though he can't see your expression, your eyebrow lifts. you stare him back in the eye even though he couldn't tell. though— in person, you'd probably back against the wall from his glare alone.

"you're fucking annoying," he snaps. his jaw is taut from tension and looks sharp. when he tilts backward, you can almost catch a vein throbbing on the side of his neck from the strain. "you wouldn't be taunting me like this to my face."

a scoff escapes your mouth. "exactly," your hand turns and you feign interest in your nails with a lazy sort of confidence. "and you aren't leaving until i'm satisfied." the concrete is your only saving grace at the moment, but if you keep pushing; you aren't sure how much longer it will hold against his anger.

"then what the fuck do you want me to do?"

you can't help but laugh. "you're the one with the dick, chuuya!" the brick in front of you almost starts to warp and you know you're pushing it. "c'mon, i don't even have one and i could stroke it better than what you've shown."

chuuya storms toward the door— only to find it locked. he yanks on it a couple more times, growling louder when it doesn't give. the basement jail cells weren't usually so… sturdy. usually one good shove and they'd give— so there was a reason they weren't used very often.

he snaps again. "turn off that fuckin' ability of yours or i swear—"

there's a small bundle of heat in the base of your spine at his threat. a light chill falls over your skin, but is it from the rising tension or just the lack of heat from the basement? you don't know, nor do you care.

"or what?" you challenge him.

chuuya's fist connects into the wall and a sizable crater is made. enough to bubble through to the other side— just off center from where you're sitting with the computer. whether or not he aimed for that is unclear. "keep talking shit!" he snarls— you don't even need the web camera to hear him.

another punch has the concrete cracking beside your desk and suddenly your stomach is at your feet. you open your mouth to retort, something about how mori is going to be pissed that he's deciding to remodel the walls down here— but the words don't come out in time.

before you know it, brick is crumbling. you don't have time to scramble out of the way— some stray rubble nicks your arm before your scalp burns with a yank to your hair. you barely register the leather from chuuya's glove against your scalp, your knees ache from being forced to the concrete. scattered brick and dust from the wall bite into the skin of your kneecaps through your jeans.

from this angle— now you know why some targets don't like to argue. or even open their mouth.

chuuya has aura— you know that. even more so when he's upset. and even more than that when he's angry— when he's been poked at and taunted and teased.

when you stare up at him, you realize you've been poking at a hornet's nest. your lips part on their own, but he doesn't shove the fabric of his boxers down quite yet. no— a smirk curls onto his lips; sharp, amused. there's nothing gentle in that look of his, and you know the sting is about to put you on your ass.

he yanks you closer. "oh?" the thumb on his free hand tugs down the waistband of his boxers and your tongue rests eagerly on your bottom lip. when your eyes fall from his to watch, he only tugs your gaze back upwards. "are you gonna show me how you would do it?"

it's a win-win situation indeed.

with a grunt chuuya pushes the large doors open, a rush of cold wind breezes by but he steps in anyway — confident with every step he took. he scanned the room, eyes darting at any corner he can see, narrowing his eyes as a specific case. the more closer he walked the more he felt someone watching him — the said case was busted open, the ring that had been displayed was now gone. he stared longer at the glass, now 100% certain someone was behind him.

before the heel could even touch him, he summersaults out of the way — a heel smashing the glass to shards and sharp prices, scattering across the floor and by his boots. he gasps whipping his head back up, eyes fell upon the figure of an average height woman, roughly around his age, hair flowing down her back like a river and a black right jumpsuit fitted her body — her leg extended in a kick where whe previously was standing, "evening' beautiful~" he exhales, standing to his feet watching the lady relax her muscles — eyes narrowed at him. "lovely night for a robbery, huh?" despite his teasing, he had a job to do, and that was getting the culprit out of here in handcuffs.

she didn't respond, only grunts out a breath of exasperation as she tosses a pocket knife directly toward him — however, her eyes widened when the knife stopped, surrounded by a red aura. it shook in the air like a leaf, mid-throw chuuya has used his ability to stop the knife from hitting him.

you hummed happily, straightening your posture as you watched the knife fall to the floor with a clack. you closed your eyes, lips tugged to a fond smile.

"i have never met a detective like yourself before, you're chuuya nakahara, aren't you?" her voice was soothing, almost like a siren. he kicks the knife far from her reach, just in case she'll try and pull something up her sleeve with it — "the one and only, now, you seem to let go of your only weapon, not very professional of you, hm?"

her grin shined through the moonlight that illuminated the room with a navy blue scenery, interlocking her fingers together as she stretched her arms behind her hand, sighing as she relaxed — "i don't need a weapon, handsome~"

without another word the woman lunged at him, chuuya thinking fast quickly dodges and skids his boots against the marble floor — she only retaliates by throwing a punch from behind, just barely hitting the detective square in the face. "im sorry to say, you've picked the wrong person to get into hand to hand combat with," his voice was low, eyes narrowed at the woman's figure who threw yet another punch at him. this time, he raised a gloved hand just before you, the palm of his hand inches away from your nose — she grunts, suddenly feeling light as she gets flown into the air and thrown to a nearby wall.

it was safe to say chuuya had her under his control, strutting toward her with a sharp grin on his lips, he stood just in front of her and leaned in close, "can't win a fight against gravity, sweetheart~"

expecting another scowl, or even an attempt to break free even though it was inevitable — the woman pinned to the wall smirked despite her being caught. "careful detective~" chuuya felt his stomach turn at the tone of her voice, it was seductive and low, her lashes fluttered to make direct eye contact with him. that's when the gravity manipulator realized just how close he was to her — too close. "pinning me to a wall like that might give me the wrong idea~"

she was flirting with him. and despite his sad attempts at flirting, you actually struck something in his chest. he gulped, his throat suddenly dry. he should have cuffed her right then and there, but he just released her from his gravity grip — her heels clicking the floor as she stumbled past him. heat crept up his neck, his heart pouncing for reasons he can't even explain yet. he grumbles under his breath, fisting his hand with the red aura around the bones, breaking all the cameras in the room simultaneously.

the woman pants, tired from being pinned tightly to a concrete wall, eyebrows furrowed — "what do you think your—" "get the hell out of here," he steps past her with a scowl, "before things get bad for you then they already are."

despite her confusion, she stares at chuuya for another moment or two before sprinting to a nearby window, kicking the glass and slipped out of it after it shattered. chuuya was left alone in the exhibit, cheeks tinted pink and thoughts running through his mind like a runaway train — was he in love? no, of course not! they just met ... but man, was she a way with words.

days turned into a week — and chuuya found the same woman following him around yokohama like a stray cat when he would be running errands or walking to work. calling you out, he asked why you were following him around and how he would report you to the police in under a second.

"i can drag your ass down to the police any point i'd like, so you better start talking!"

"i thought about our little interaction a few days ago and realized i never gave you my name," with a sharp smile you extended your hand in front of you, "my name's [name] [last name] — pleasure to meet you, chuuya nakahara!"

when he shook her hand with a questioning look, she continued — "i like you, and put a lot of thought into it, i want you to get me a job at the agency."

chuuya swallowed his spit down the wrong way, he coughed.

"you pulling my leg, or what?"

she shook her head with the same happy smile, "i'll explain over a cup of coffee~ meet at the café just below your agency at 7pm~" and after that night, turned into a one night stand, then a banter and before long, [name] wasn't just a thief — she was chuuya's girl.

~ ♡ ~

well, maybe you haven't learned as well as you think you did. distracting atsushi with a conversation you snatched his tie clip and scurried away leaving him confused, snatching kunikida's wallet when he was busy typing away on his laptop — hyper focused as per usual, sneaking an arm into dazai a pocket and stole one of his bandage rolls, stealing one of yosano's scalpels and leaving her to ask around the office in a frantic panic. even managing to steal one of ranpo's unopened candy boxes he left on his desk and ready to eat after coming back from a successful a case.

you were practically glowing with pride at your successful haul — stuffing them all in your pocket into you felt a hand clasp your wrist.

"[name]."

the voice made your heart drop to your stomach, turning around slowly, you meet chuuya's piercing blue glare. he held up a sticky note, kunikida's, judging by the fact it scribbled the words "schedule = justice," , face clearly dissatisfied — "care to explain," chuuya drawled, "why are our co-workers harrassing me about their missing things?"

you put on the best innocent face you could muster, "they must have just misplaced them — i was actually going to help them look for —"

"uh huh," he cuts you off. "empty your pockets."

you blinked, "babe — " , "now, [name]."

you huffed loudly, unloading the haul of stolen items from your pocket and watched them fall to the floor chuuya n you watched as dazai's bandage rolls unravels by his boot.

chuuya looked back up at you with crossed arms, "alright. now go return each and every one of them."

"chuuya, i don't want to—"

"no excuses," he picks up everything off the floor in a swift motion and piles it back into your arms, "go on theif, show and tell."

with a grumble you turned on your heels and obeyed, starting with atsushi.

~

"here you go, cat, your tie clip."

atsushi blinked, "oh? i didn't even know it was gone, thank you for finding it, [name]-chan!" he smiles happily, oblivious but you only nod and set off to find kunikida.

~

you slammed the wallet on his desk, startling him as he adjusted his glasses, "i didn't take nothing," you mumble as if that makes it any better. he snatched it in an instant, "thank you for returning it back to me, [name], not that i wouldn't track you down to take it back any way ... good on you for owning up to your actions— "

you turned your back on his mid-speech, "yeah, yeah, i didn't need a lecture, dad!" he was left jaw dropped and chest heavy while you ventured to find dazai.

~

you practically threw the bandage roll at him, to which he caught immediately, eyes sparkled with admiration as he shoves them back in his coat pocket — "my, my [name] stealing from me? are you back to your old ways again, or is this just a passing phase?" he teased and you just scoffed,

"don't gimme that, you knew i stole the damn roll, didn't you?" he just shrugged the question off with a happy smile, waving you off as you went to stop by yosano's office.

~

you shuffled into her office and found her sitting by a hospital bed, "uhm...here's your scalpel," you tossed it to the white sheets. she raises a brow, lips curling into a scary smile,

"careful, sweetheart~ next time i might just take a finger in exchange." you ran out of the room with your tail between your legs, shivering at her maniac laughter as you scurried down the hall to find your last victim.

~

ranpo pouts as you hand back the unopened box of candies, snatching them back and immediately tossing them into his safe —

"good, you brought them back. i was about to tattle tale on you to the president for stealing people's things again!" you just stuck your tongue out at the man and left, returning to chuuya's side.

~

"see, now was that so hard?" he asked with a smile as he kissed your temple—your cheeks already hor from embarrassment, tugging you into a hug. "yes, very much. you're such a party pooper!" you whined into his chest, hiding your blush.

he just laughed and stormed your hair, "yeah well," his lips were now close to your ear, tickling your skin. "i'd rather not see my girl in handcuffs, well ... unless it's those pink fluffy ones you love so much, of course!" he cackled as you whined in his chest louder, your blush growing to the tip of your ears.

the office just groaned in unison, "keep your kinks to yourself, romeo and juliet!!" dazai shouts from his desk, throwing a pencil at the redhead n you.

~ ♡ ~

the restaurant was dimly lit, dinner was half eaten, and you were given the best princess treatment chuuya could ever give you. he was dressed sharp, his nerves tucked under with a confident grin — because tonight was the night, he was going to make it official with you.

halfway through dessert, he realized you weren't paying attention to the latest case he and atsushi went on a few days ago. in fact your eyes were fixated on ... another man? it wasn't the man you were fascinated about, it was the wallet that peeked out of his pocket whilst he ate a few tables away.

you cut chuuya off with a sheepish laugh, saying you needed to use the washroom, and rushed to your feet, heels clicking against the floor as he watched you run past him — eyes widening when he sees you sneak a hand low to the man's pocket, attempting to steal his unattending wallet.

"[name]!" chuuya hissed under his breath and activated his gravity manipulation and forced your figure back to your table, letting out a squeal the man jolted at the sudden action and watched you get pulled back to the table away from him — his date ceasing his hand in comfort.

back at your table, chuuya grasp your wrist and flares at you, "are you kidding me?" he wasn't even angry at this point, just disappointed. "what?" you pout, dusting off your long fitted red dress that draped beautifully behind you — "that was one of a kind leather, coats a fortune!" you pout, warning a groan from your boyfriend until he realized your hand was stiff behind your back, "what did you take from him, what's behind your back — ?"

he gasped slightly, pulling your wrist out gently with a gloved hand he barrows his eyes at a red velvet box, holding it right in your hand. "did you," he paused, "take that from him?"

you were already tearing up, clutching the said box to your chest, "it was the ring i tried to steal when we first met — i thought, it would be a cute gift but you weren't supposed to see it yet!"

ah, so the wallet was all a ruse. chuuya froze, he didnt even stand and pull out the ring he bought but he could tell that ring meant something to you — to your relationship with him. he chuckled out a laugh, wiping a tear from your face as he stood to his feet, "your something else, you know that." he muttered, getting down on one knee a she reached into his dress shirt — your breath hitched as he pulled out another velvet box and clicked it open to reveal a beautiful ruby ring, "but your my something ... so i have to ask, [name] [last name] , will you marry me?"

your mouth gaped open, tears spilling down tie cheeks and through your hiccups laughed — you nod, "YES! yesyesyes, a hundred times yes!" jumping into his arms chuuya rose to his feet, catching you with ease and spun on his heel, holding you close to his chest as the restaurant falls into cheers and applause.

~ ♡ ~

"and that kid," chuuya smirked, leaning back on the couch with a wine glass raised in the air, "is the story on how i met your mother." you laughed heartily at your daughter's squeal, jumping into your husbands arms, who huffed out a breath of air and quickly clicked the glass back to the table before knocking it over — "that was the best story ever!!"

chuuya chuckled, pulling you into the family hug with one arm and held both his girls close, "best or not, it's ours." as the two of you made eye contact, your daughter suddenly sat up on chuuya's legs and held his shoulders, his gloved hand hovered close to her side just in case she falls, "my mama was such a badass!!!!" you snort, she learned that from chuuya for sure — calming your daughter down by caressing her hair softly, "do as i say, and not as i do, sweetheart."

a smile tilts to chuuya's lips as he steps into conversation, "you know, she is a pretty skilled thief. ya' wanna know what the best thing she stole from me was?" he leaned close to her face and wiggled his nose to hers making her giggle and fall into his chest and lay down on his thighs, both of them giggling softly.

she nods, and you tilt your head with an amused smile, curious as to where chuuya is going with this. "and what could that be, chuuya?" before you could move, he cupped your face with his hand and rubbed his thumb across your cheek lovely, his eyes gaze with yours — soft and warm.

"my damn heart."

your daughter groans loudly from below at the cheesiness whilst you were too busy laughing into chuuya's shoulder, shielding your blushed face — your husband just chuckles into your hair, pressing a steady hand to the back of your head and gripped his daughter firmly around his arm.

end notes. i had way too much fun writing this, could you guys tell? (⁠*⁠﹏⁠*⁠;⁠) let's all pretend this wasn't finished at 12am

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