Elvendork7

The reporter then asks how Rozanov feels about it.

“Oh he hates it. He complains all the time. Keeps telling me to go back to Montreal where I belong. That I’m bringing the team down with my bad energy-“

Eventually their friends carpool in Hayden's SUV but even that comes with trouble, Ilya insisting he stay the night at Shane's rather than the hotel. Shane's on board with the sleepover idea and before they can even put a stop to it, Ilya and Shane are making it inside Shane's house when the car parks. The hopes of ushering Ilya out of Shane's home are crushed when Ilya lands on the couch, looking right fucking at home and dragging Shane to sit down with him.

The guys look at each other at a loss for what to do-- knowing their friends are going to be embarrassed knowing how touchy they've been with their sworn enemy. Shane and Ilya are demanding the others leave now they're home but their friends are refusing. The pair grow more and more agitated before Shane slurs out, "fine, fuck it" and then starts mauling Ilya on the couch. It's a devouring, sloppy kiss. The two don't care for the audience they have-- they seem to be doing it out of spite because of their friends not leaving like they asked. When they start fumbling for each other's shirts that's when their friends snap out of their shock and pull them away from each other, thinking it's just drunken mistakes.

look cool look cool look cool look cool -- don't freak him out don't freak him out don't -- kiss him but not the way you want kiss him but not the way you want -- god he's so perfect he's so perfect fuck my life -- pretend to be normal about him-- fuck, he's so perfect

and then

Until.

Ilya is watching Shane interact with Luca one day. Luca says something and Shane repeats it in Luca's Swiss accent. Luca doesn't really seem to notice or care. Shane isn't acting like he's making fun of Luca. And when Ilya comes over, he even says 'hey' in Luca's accent.

And Ilya then does some googling. He comes across the phrase 'echolalia' and reads the sentence: "-especially when individuals feel comfortable or have a strong relationship with the person they are imitating."

It's not rare for Shane to start a conversation with an abrupt, blunt question. So it really shouldn't have surprised him when Shane interrupted the comfortable silence of breakfast to ask, "did you like fucking women more than men?"

Ilya paused, his spoonful of Lucky Charms (Shane could pry them from his cold dead hands) half way to his mouth. "What?"

"Like before we were together, obviously."

"Shane, you know I love fucking you more than I've ever loved fucking anyone else."

"I know," Shane rolled his eyes and held up his wedding ring. "I meant, like, in general."

"Why are you asking then?"

"Rose asked me once if being with a man was better," Shane explained. "And obviously, yes for me, because I'm gay. But you like both, so I just... I dunno. I wondered if you liked one a little better."

"Hmm," Ilya considered. He tried to answer all Shane's questions as well as he could. "I don't know. I have only been with two men."

"You - really?"

"Yes," Ilya nodded. "Just you and Sasha. It was risky to find men and I like women, so. That was easier. Sometimes men flirt with me but they weren't..."

"Weren't what?"

"They weren't...," Ilya realized his answer then, one he hadn't even been aware of until he thought about it. "They weren't you."

Shane did one of Ilya's favourite smiles. His lips pressed together, a little awkward, one that he couldn't control and he did when he was really pleased.

But of course, now Shane was curious, so he followed up, "how is it different?"

"You have fucked women, Shane."

"I know," Shane rolled his eyes. "But I wasn't attracted to them. You were. I mean, it must of been good."

"With me, always," Ilya smirked and Shane scoffed, but didn't deny it. "It's different in a lot of ways. I can be rougher with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Some women like rough, too, but I can't be too rough. Most women don't like sucking cock as much as you do."

"They don't?" Shane's brows drew together, so adorably confused about how someone wouldn't love sucking cock.

"Not usually," Ilya shrugged. "But it was fine. More time for eating pussy."

Shane scrunched up his face like Ilya didn't just eat him out this morning. Or maybe he was jealous. Like a jealous little kitten when their mama is paying attention to someone else

Ilya suddenly got an idea. A great idea.

"Biggest difference was probably the challenge," Ilya lamented, keeping a close eye on Shane's expression.

"What challenge," Shane eyes zeroed in on him like a little cat on a laser pointer.

"Oh you know," Ilya said distractedly, using all his self control to keep his face blank. "How many times women can come."

"What do you mean?"

"They don't have a, uh, cool down time, you know," Ilya said. It might not have been strictly true. He knew most women needed a little cool down, but much less than men. But he didn't have time for semantics right now while he's trying to rile up his husband. "I mean, they can come over and over and over..."

"I get it," Shane said tightly, stabbing his protein pancake with a little too much force.

"I think my record was like 20 times in one hour."

"Oh fuck off, it was not."

"It was."

It was not. More like 8 times, which was still impressive, in his humble opinion.

Then Shane paused and considered him. He had that cute concentrated face he gets when he's thinking through a play.

"We have tomorrow off," Shane thought aloud. "We could go by day instead of hour because that's fucking impossible. Or, maybe 12 hour periods." Shane taps his fingers against the table and narrows his eyes. "We could keep score with each other."

This isn't fair. This was Ilya's fun game to make Shane jealous and get to fuck a jealous Shane before practice which was one of his favourite types of Shane to fuck.

"What do you mean," Ilya asked.

"We make it a challenge," Shane smirked a little. "Since you miss that so much. Tomorrow. 12 hours. How many times I make you come are points for me and how many times you make me come are points for you."

"Fuck, Shane," Ilya readjusted himself and glanced at the clock. "We have 2 hours before practice. We can get a head start."

"No way," Shane stood up and started clearing the table. "We need to start fresh for tomorrow. No sex today or tonight."

He really should have known that first question was a fucking trap.

Shane and Hayden: *They get super concerned and get outside fast af because Ilya was showing off his Porsche to the kids, they immediately head out to see what happened*

Ilya: *Is stuck inside this thing*

So he gets a tutor. He meticulously researches her (she's from Moscow, so he'll learn from someone with Ilya's same accent). She's signed to more NDAs than he can count. She has 10 years of experience, she's certified to teach English and Russian, and she has 4.8 stars on MyTutor.

Shane pays her a frankly concerning amount of money to make house calls. Twice weekly, unless he's on the road, she arrives at his apartment to teach him foundational Russian. She gives him workbooks, Russia cartoon recommendation, podcasts for beginners, etc. He tells her he's learning because his boyfriend is Russian and she outlines a course that focuses on domestic language first (as opposed to travel or business). She even teaches him what she calls a 'culture course' with lessons on Russian music, food, and various traditions.

She's only a few years older than Shane and he actually finds himself looking forward to her visits. At this point, she's the only person other than his parents that knows he has a boyfriend.

About 4 months in, Shane finally feels comfortable enough to ask about what he'd been very excited about learning.

"You want me to teach you how to talk dirty to your boyfriend?" Ekaterina raised an eyebrow.

"Um," Shane blushed. Was this a little too far? Was this inappropriate to ask of a tutor? "Yes? If - If that's okay, I mean."

A slow smirk spread over her face. "This will be fun. Fun for me, now. Fun for you, later."

"I made a list," Shane admitted. He wasn't going to back out now, he put a lot of thought into his list. He turned to it in his Russian notebook and handed it to her.

She scanned over it indifferently. "You will use all this in one night?"

"Yeah, probably. Is it too much?"

"It is good you have a Russian man," Ekaterina said. "They have good stamina. Mostly, anyway."

And while it was a little embarrassing for Ekaterina to correct his pronunciation of please let me suck your cock, it helped that she seemed just as comfortable with that as there is tea on the stove.

“i don’t know, probably that i can have ilya’s photos on my phone now :).”

"Is Shane okay?" Was Yuna's first question.

"Yes," David was quick to reassure her. "He's fine. He's great."

"David," Yuna said worriedly, hand on his bicep. "Is Shane okay?"

"He really is. I promise, sweetheart. I would tell you if he wasn't," David promised her because he would. "But I - he was - he's probably going to be headed over here soon."

"Why?" Yuna started to get more worried, despite her husband's reassurances. "David, what happened? Did you two fight?"

David did interrupt his silent retreat but Yuna couldn't imagine Shane getting into a fight with his father over that.

"No," David caught her eyes. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course."

"Then please don't ask. I saw something I shouldn't have and I - I want it to be Shane's choice if he tells us. I promise you he's safe. We didn't fight. He's - he might be upset with me, but he's okay."

Yuna searched his face for another moment before she slowly nodded.

She had an idea of what David might have seen.

She had considered that Shane's 'silent retreat' might not be the complete truth. She also recognized how upset her husband was at unintentionally learning something about their boy that he wasn't ready to share.

"Okay," Yuna pulled him in for a hug. "I'll make some tea."

"I feel so horrible."

"Shane loves you, he'll understand," Yuna said.

"I hope so," David pulled back. "I can make the tea. Shane will probably want some if he comes over."

He used to make Shane hot chocolate after nightmares, or doctor visits, or difficult practices. When he was a teenager, he started asking for tea instead.

Yuna, sensing David needed something to do, said, "use the new one my aunt sent us. It takes a little longer but I think Shane will like it."

~*~*~

"So, what did you see," Yuna asked her husband as they watched their son and his boyfriend, Ilya Rozanov, drive away.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to ask," David smiled.

"Hush you," Yuna glared. "Like you wouldn't be curious. Unless, god, did you walk in on-"

"No," David stopped her. "They were just walking up from the dock. I would have left but when I noticed it was Rozanov - or Ilya, I mean - I was just frozen there."

"Then how did you know they were, you know, together?"

"Well they kissed on the porch," David winced. "And Ilya..."

"Ilya what?"

"He, uh, had his hand on Shane's…bottom."

Yuna and David stared at each other for a few seconds before Yuna couldn't take it anymore, smile spreading across her face and burst out laughing, hand gripping her husband’s shirt to hold herself up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Yuna laughed out.

"Yuna!" David admonished but he was laughing too. He reached out to steady her. "It's not funny!"

"When you put it that - that way!" Yuna tried to gather herself. "Ilya Rozanov. Ilya Rozanov. I can't believe it."

"He's a sweet kid," David was still smiling, thinking about Ilya standing awkwardly by his son, happily eating pasta, saying he'd leave the team that drafted him for their Shane.

Yuna softened. "He really is. He looks so much younger in person."

"Ah, too bad Shane and Rose didn't work out, but that just means I still have a shot!"

Ilya's thoughts: You have no shot in hell! He is mine. We knew each other since before rookie season. Your shots are nonexistent!

"I know, right? We have photographic proof now that he'd be an amazing partner. Carrying your bags. Opening the door for you. So polite, so kind."

Ilya's thoughts: Of course he's amazing. He's perfect. He would rather rip his arm off than hurt someone. He always has Coke in the fridge just because I like it even though he never drinks it.

"And good looking, too. Can't forget that."

Ilya's thoughts: He is beautiful, especially his freckles. But don't look too long at them! They are mine to look at. And you will never see him with glasses on. It is not for you to see.

One time at All-Stars, a player with way too much confidence tries to buy Shane a drink, but he politely declines.

Ilya's thoughts: You have no chance, and if you really cared about Shane, you would offer to buy him a ginger ale.

not because he's a baby a la classic man cold

but because he will AGGRESSIVELY try to pretend he is not sick

he is trying to gaslight others but ALSO himself

he has a gold medal immune system thank you he did NOT get taken down by ill pikeling spreading Elementary School Plague to him

not happening

as an itty bitty he lied so he wouldn't have to skip hockey, and that has NOT changed as an adult

his true toxic trait is that he WILL be typhoid mary in that locker room if it means he doesn't have to stay home and miss playing

like. no one else on the team understands Hollander Illness Behavior yet, so they're teasing ilya about being overprotective because shane is SO underplaying it and meanwhile ilya is just, "no, i am so fucking serious. get a medic and then call an ambulance."

and shane who is barely on this realm of existence and about 0.2 seconds from having Involuntary Floor Time is just, "don't worry :) i'll just take an advil or something :)"