why is everyone born in 2006 now. how are you alive

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.

could really go for 200mg right now. of anything.

all the vampires in the tags saying they won’t do this bc the alcohol will make the skin taste bad are just telling on themselves. talk about a red flag.

turns out "everything you have ever wanted is on the other side of this fear" is a great trans mantra but also a good mantra if you have OCD

well, you see, the thing is: (instead of finishing my sentence i curl up comfortably in bed and go to sleep

Every day I wake up and I try to figure out what I did wrong. You know, the big thing I did wrong that everyone knows about but me? which I have yet to figure out what it is, but hey, there’s always tomorrow!

kanns nicht abwarten die partielle Sonnenfinsternis zu verpassen

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all

like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??

i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself 🥰" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw