flint did nothing wrong

just saw a tiktok (sorry) saying its gonna be pirate romance summer over clips of will/elizabeth and some other straight couple and then. eleanor/vane. with the caption "watch black sails". and like whatever gets ppl watching but i cant help and imagine whatever straight girlies turning on black sails expecting to see vane be some hopeless romantic to eleanors self insert and instead seeing them immediately punch each other followed by max/eleanor extended lesbian sex scene. pirate romance summer indeed

I love it when people ask me how Black Sails ends. Genuinely I cannot answer that bro, u just had to be there. unfortunately I wasn't there. and neither was anybody else. it's the best ending I've ever SEEN though trust me it's peerless it's transcendent-- no I know what I just said, no I still can't answer that, look why don't you go find out and report back,

the thing about black sails is you're always thinking about it. years will go by and you're still thinking about it. you're never over it. it's with you forever. you can't move on. you'll return to it again and again in your mind. an experience my good buddy john silver knows all about. come closer. have you heard the story of captain flint

also the vane/flint/eleanor dynamics are so funny because flint is like what. 10-13 years older than charles who is like 5 years older than eleanor who has a bit of a daddy issues crush on flint whom sees her solely as a much younger protegee whose ambition he admires and in whom he sees a bird of a feather. completely out of his romantic or sexual radar (sidebar which is SOO embarrassing when eleanor goes to miranda trying to be like idk what you hag have on him but i'm the younger bouncier cool girl in his life. and miranda is like (: ) anyway flint is fighting gay demons the 18th century millenials have never even heard of while there's this punk metaphorically driving by in his loud ass motorcycle going you think you can steal my girl huh ???? and flint is like get off my lawn i'm having war flashbacks from the old country

the sheer audacity of "mr gates' heart has given out" will always be so fucking funny