Only Eccentric Because It Sounds Classier

i love how sinners was basically like “the cunnilingus was there. it didnt change anything. it didnt save anyone. there were just too many forces against it. but it still matters that the cunnilingus was there”

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

imagine being manfred von karma. turnabout goodbyes trial day 2. you've nearly completed your perfected rube goldberg machine ass revenge 15 years in the making. your victory is inches away and Straight Larry walks in stage left and blows everyhting up

someone just literally interrupted me mid conversation to tell me “what wonderful big dark eyes i’ve got” and on the one hand extremely flattering that she couldn’t even wait until the end of my sentence to comment on this, on the other hand did she have to say it like im the big bad wolf

i rly do love the 'schedule send' option for emails bc when i actually need to look like a functioning person i schedule emails to send at like 9:07 am and it's like wow! what a go-getter. i bet this guy slept a normal number of hours and sent this email after waking up at a regular time and brushed his teeth and ate breakfast and everything before he sent this email at a neutral morning time. not too early. not too late. let the dog out and grabbed the physical newspaper he subscribes to because he supports local journalism. a real standup person all around.

Statement of Y/N, regarding their time in servitude to the entity formerly known as One Direction. Statement begins.

medieval girlblogger looking at an illumination of a young martyr: ugh she shouldst be in the tavern

We need to bring back free the nipple

closes my eyes and tries really hard to develop a "humiliating job interview" sexual fetish so my life becomes easier