Crazy Cat Lord

Rocky let out his closest attempt of a human “hmph,” hoping to really get the opinion across. “Okay.”

And that was why Rocky was now staring at the “wikipedia” page for “dog.”

The image provided only told so much, as it was based on human sight and so was only the surface of the animal. Thankfully a few diagrams and added text let Rocky know it was pretty similar to Grace. “Dog leaks?” He asked.

Grace cleared his throat to hide a laugh, Rocky could tell. He’d been able to tell for ages, but let Grace believe his stealth functioned. “Yeah, I guess so. Dogs are mammals like humans, we share a lot of traits: warm blooded, similar spines, and birth live offspring.”

“...Not-mammal animals birth dead off spring, question? Whats the point, question?”

“Er.” Grace was quick to clarify that he meant live as in active immediately since birth, no egg to continue incubation afterwards.

Rocky let the information settle in his mind, it was strange but not unheard of. “Eridian animal birth live.” Rocky remembered: “Ocean animal, big.”

Grace seemed surprised, quickly going to look something else up from his “wikipedia.”

“Heres a few types of whales.” He introduced. “They’re a subgroup of large mammals that live in the ocean.”

Rocky studied the information present about whales. “Close.” He had to admit.

Grace’s expression was absolutely beaming at that. “Incredible!” He then went on a little speech about how life on Earth originated from the ocean, and how mayhaps the same was true on Erid. He then lamented about his “paper,” but only a little bit. Grace was too excited by the information to get stuck on that.

Rocky found it cute. He was sure it was a grand scientific breakthrough or something, but he wasn’t a science Eridian… Better leave it to the smart guy.

Still, Grace's happiness was also Rocky’s happiness.

They returned back to the page about dogs. Grace explained how they were considered “man’s best friend,” and were companion animals with great capacity to learn and perform tasks.

Apparently they were also very cute, but Rocky struggled to find the appeal.

“Many domesticated animals remain ‘baby-like’ into adulthood because it tricks humans into wanting to care for them.” Grace explained, “I suppose big eyes and round faces don’t mean much to an Eridian.”

“No. Looks bad.” Rocky confirmed.

Grace pouted, “Well what do you find cute?”

Rocky thought for a second before hopping off the xenonite shelf next to Grace’s desk. He dug around in his “puppet show” bag and found a little model that should get the message across easily.

He returned to the shelf and showed Grace. “This is pebble. Eridian offspring.”

Grace looked it over. “It is cute!”

Rocky felt great pride hearing that. “Yes yes yes! Grace understand.”

He nodded, happy to explain further: “It’s small and round, a little stubby. Much like mammal offspring.”

Rocky looked at the model before supposing he was correct. “Not lumpy.” He pointed out, “Mammal offspring lumpy. No caparace to protect baby. Gross, statement.”

Grace seemed willing to accept that point without much argument. Even he must’ve known how blobby they were.

They concluded that although Rocky didn’t find dogs cute, their ability to help humans was admirable.

“How about this?” Grace showed another page. “Another mammal.”

It looked awfully much like the other one. Rocky spelt the title out in his head, C, A, T, S… Cats. “What is function, question?” He asked.

Grace looked puzzled at that question. That seemed odd, with dogs it was so clear. “...Back in the day they were used to hunt rodents and other pests that would spread illness or steal stored food."

That sounded useful. “Not anymore?”

Grace rubbed the back of his neck: “Er, well... Less so now. Usually people keep them for company.”

“Rocky understand humans find it cute. Humans like hugs... hug animal?” He pieced together the puzzle.

“Yes! Yeah. Without physical contact humans can decline both mentally and physically. Human babies can even die.”

“Animal important.” Rocky was a little shocked. “Will Grace be okay, question?”

He seemed a little embarrassed by the question. “Our hugs will do… I guess if you could get even closer that’d be nice, but… Yeah, its fine.”

Rocky suspected he should investigate this line of thinking further sometime. For now the two returned to learning about lumpy blobby earth animals.

“Another reason a human may choose a cat over a dog is their ability to purr.” Grace shared. “Its like a… Wait, I’ll play you a sound bite.”

Rocky focused on the thinking machine’s sound making part. Quickly after Grace clicked on his mouse: a strange sound began to play. It was like a vibration from somewhere deep inside something, mostly soft, it varied in a round kind of way.

He didn't hate it, although like wasn’t the word either. It lacked depth and felt stale quickly. Besides, if a cat purred near Rocky he suspected it’d mess with his echolocation.

“Okay.”

Grace turned the sound off. “It has a calming effect for both the cat and the owner. Its usually a sign that the cat is content and loves them."

“Eridians thrum together for fun sometimes.” Rocky recalled, “shared vibration feels nice.”

“...Yeah!” Grace smiled at that, "Bonding through vibrations, you have that in common."

Rocky decided the cat wasn’t that bad after all. Their ability to help humans was less varied than the dogs, but they showed humans the joys of vibration. He decided to show Grace some of his saved vibration audios, maybe they could relax together.

That’d have to wait, though. Grace had more animals to show.

“Let’s take a break from mammals.”

B, I, R, D, S… Birds. Rocky read what he could (mostly numbers,) and concluded: “small, small, small.”

Grace agreed: “Yea, most of them are. Its to keep themselves light enough to fly.”

Rocky felt himself nearly shut down in shock trying to process what Grace had just said. Fly? Fly? Like its just a thing something in nature can do? “WHAT WHAT WHAT, QUESTION?” He sputtered out.

Grace was caught off guard by his reaction. He truly thought it was something normal to say?? This absolute weirdo!!

“Oh right.” Said the absolute weirdo, “Erid’s gravity is much stronger. It would take more power for an animal to lift off.”

…Oh yea, Earth gravity was weak as shit.

“And you get no sunlight, it’d be difficult for an animal to navigate airborne." Grace continued to speculate. “Ah, but echolocation works from the air too, bats do it.”

The science human’s hand landed on his chin, a kind of thinking pose for humans… Or at least this human. “Are there really no flying animals on Erid?”

Rocky pondered it, science needed details. Get Grace good details… “Some glide. Some Hover. No flight.” Rocky offered.

“H…Hover?” It was Grace’s turn to be shocked. “They hover?”

“Magnets.” Rocky explained. “Inspired ball.”

“Woah!” Grace got that enthralled expression again, the type when they did good science. “Right– You’re living rocks. Of course your animals could be too, and develop all sorts of mineral compositions!”

Rocky felt proud, he’d helped with good science.

Grace requested he make a puppet of the animal he was talking about, and Rocky was happy to oblige.

While working on it Grace kept him entertained by explaining how most birds flew. They had hollow bones and their relative weight was low. They had a pair of big strong wings that could be used to push themselves up or glide along.

Erid had bacteria and other micro-organisms that could float about in the air, but they had no reason to worry about gravity. These birds were certainly impressive!

Grace seemed excited about Rocky’s interest and dug up more about birds. He quickly had a sound bite loaded up to play. “I bet you’ll have a lot to say about this.” …Slightly ominous!

Grace clicked on the little play-triangle and an intriguing sound made its way to Rocky.

He’d listened to some human songs at Grace’s insistence and although they weren’t terrible they did ultimately feel somewhat stale. Yes some humans had a vocal range much more impressive than Grace’s, but outside of a few standouts Rocky struggled to be impressed.

The bird song wasn’t exactly up to Eridian standards either, but it was quite delightful. Such a small creature could make such loud and clear tones! Rocky couldn’t help himself, he repeated a few notes after the bird, learning the pattern it was repeating. Fun! It was fun! Like a chant!

Grace grinned at that, showing his creepy mouth minerals used for chewing. Rocky hated them but loved his smile, he’d grow past the issue with time.

He thought of a name for bird in his language, a pattern like the one he’d heard. ♪♫♬♪♫♬… “Rocky like bird.”

Grace looked satisfied with that and closed the thinking machine. Rocky had been right, this wasn’t about sharing useful information. Grace had painted it as such, but just wanted to show Rocky animals until he liked one. Grace looked so proud of himself…

“I should get back to organizing.”

Rocky would let him have this, but just because Rocky is very nice.

He hoped the two would look at more animals again soon.

_

“Rocky has chosen favourite Earth animal.” He shared with a happy tap beneath his feet.

“Nice! Lets hear it.”

“Human!”

“Erm.” Grace blinked twice at that, “I suppose its the only one you’ve met. You can be my favourite Erid animal too.”

“No choice, statement”

“...Although, when I meet some more it might change.”

“No, statement.”

“Oh.”

☆