Du hast ja noch dein Grab

i can no longer tolerate the fallibility of language. let's all punch each other in the head

if youre in the US (especially the northeast + michigan) i would avoid bagged salads/greens and generally wash your produce very thoroughly unless you want the diarrhea parasite

I can’t be drunk at a gallery opening i asked if They had Fun making It

One time I came home from uni very upset and my younger siblings asked what's wrong. I said that mutated flies in our lab escaped because someone broke their jar. I didn't even realise how scary it sounded to them until I saw their faces lmao. I was upset because we were short on said flies (they don't reproduce very well) and my siblings thought that some crazy radioactive fly monsters escaped and we are all fucked now. Love being a mad scientist in their eyes lowkey

writing a thesis has me like wait, what's my source for Christ being the Christian God

you've got to stop thinking about things like gender or sex or nationality as immutable facets of a person that determine who they are forever, and instead see them as a way to explain a vast and complicated web of social and cultural ties that influences a person and which is influenced by them in turn

text without paywall

you betrayed everyhting you stand for and all you got in return was a kickass sword and ability to start fires with your mind and d cups. pretty good deal !

did you know? some primates have been observed to exhibit "blogging" behavior

who tagged this with "unreality". this is just a fact. a primate wrote this post

Back when I was a redditor (😔) I realized a strange phenomenon. No one cares about your original posts, but if you make the post on another site and screenshot it, people assume it’s a tweet from someone who is known/is funny/etc and the post would do way better

Anxiety is stupid because your brain will go ‘what if they kill me with hammers for talking to them’ and it’s people you talk to regularly who have never given any indication that they’d kill you with hammers