Du hast ja noch dein Grab

i can no longer tolerate the fallibility of language. let's all punch each other in the head

Beware the buttery winds of pierogi madness

most weapons forged against me will in fact prosper but please don’t do any of that and instead be nice to me

We need more media about a younger woman psychosexually obsessed with an older woman

show-runners do not owe audiences the ending that they wanted or even the one people with media literacy anticipated. unless it’s supernatural in which case the show-runners still owe their audiences $100 million each in emotional damages

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

isn't it kind of crazy that for any moving vehicle you need to wear a seatbelt but then on buses they're just like fuck it stand up whatever

In a battle between a city bus and your mom’s 2009 Toyota Corolla the bus will usually win