weird queer

Hexstrap?!

And the same goes for Shane. And he's in montreal right now and he'd feel the need to come home even though there is absolutely no reason to. And he'd look at her with his big, scared eyes. No. Nope. Not happening.

Yuna pauses because- she has someone else now. Another person to rely on. But is this too much? He is family. He does spend a lot of his evenings with them when he doesn't have a game. He belongs with them. There is no doubt about that.

The thing is Yuna Hollander does not ask for help. She's known by her husband in a way that he helps her and supports her without her needing to ask- but she never managed to feel okay and not lesser when other people needed her to do the asking.

She swallows. It will probably be fine and be nothing, so.

The days before her doctor has time to see her seem to drag on forever.

Now she is in her car, still parked. She needs to leave in twenty minutes to make it to the doctors office. But five if she makes a detour to pick someone up...

Do you have someone to come with you?

Yes.

No hesitation when she talked to the receptionist. Apparently her subconcious already decided to ask him after all.

The phone only rings twice before Ilya's deep voice fills her car.

"Hello."

She shakes her head about herself because hearing him answer with that calm smile in his voice makes her throat close up.

"Hi. So. I'm coming to pick you up in ten minutes."

There's a pause. A fair one. Yuna closes her eyes, annoyed with herself. She should've started with an explanation. Should've asked if it was okay, if he had other plans. If he would even be up for coming along to something like that.

Ilya had started to say something but she didn't even register, only realises it because she interrupts him when she speaks again.

"I have a doctors appointment. And it's fine. I found a lump but- It's nothing. I'm sure it's completely unneccesairy- they asked for someone to be there." The next part almost gives her physical pain "I'm asking. If you'd," she takes a deep breath "be there."

"Of course."

And Ilya holds her hand tight without her needing to ask. Does not ask too many questions about how she is or if she needs anything and most importantly does not panic. He is as calm as can be. Cool as a cucumber. And as so many times before Yuna is right. There's nothing to worry about.

Ilya hugs her after. Squeezes her twice before letting go, smile a bit wonky now.

It doesn't even occur to Shane that this conversation could go any better than it went with his parents, who had an impossibly quick turnaround on Ilya all things considered, until he's telling Rose and instead of her response being some variation of "why him?" she goes, "You're kidding me, Ilya Rozanov? He is so hot!"

And Shane freezes, the automatic defense sticking at the tip of his tongue. He tries to recalculate, but in the moment all he can manage is a flustered, "I- yeah. I mean he's - yeah, he is."

Something softens in Rose's expression, and then she's pulling at his arm, urging him to come sit down on the couch next to her. "You need to tell me everything, Shane! All the details, the dirtier, the better."

Shane sits, the relief flooding him enough to make his knees weak. His face feels warm but it's not embarrassment or shame coloring his cheeks - or maybe it's a little bit of embarrassment, because some of the details are really dirty, but mostly it's joy. It's pride, even.

"I'm not gonna do that," he laughs.

Rose raises her eyebrows expectantly. 'You, Mr. I-prefer-being-the-hole,' she seems to be silently saying. 'You don't want to share?'

"Okay, maybe some of the details," Shane concedes. He can't stop smiling.

"Fuck, yes," Rose squeals. She puts her hand on Shane's shoulder, standing. "Hold on, I need to get the rosé for this."

"You are such a cliché."

Rose waves her hand, an 'I know, I know' gesture.

The conversation lasts a couple of hours and Shane shares more about Ilya than he's shared with anyone. More than he even means to, so the rosé was definitely the right call. He can't stop himself because Rose is so happy, so excited for him. She gasps at all the right moments, giggles when Shane's blush gets impossibly brighter, leans in when Shane shows her pictures of Ilya and gives her gushing approval.

"Of course you landed the only hockey player who's even remotely as hot as you," she sighs. "You overachiever."

Shane laughs. "He's much hotter than I am!"

"Mm, agree to disagree."

Picture Ottawa’s rookies going to Ilya for sex advice (like “yeah he’s married now but he used to have a playboy reputation so he must have a ton of Experience™️”), and Ilya gives them a lecture about consent and respecting your partner’s boundaries, and ends it with “but if you want advice about *positions* and toys, ask my husband, he loves doing research” with a Cheshire Cat grin.

And the rookies are confused, Hollander and the Captain are married, of course they’re doing stuff together, and Hollander is super knowledgeable about hockey stats and strategies, but *sex* research??

They go talk to Shane anyway (the girlfriend of one of them is really not having fun in bed, so he’s willing to try anything), and they half expect him to blush and say Ilya was joking. But Shane gets very serious, puts his glasses on and starts asking questions. Solo, couple or more people involved? Do you want to try it on her or her on you ? What does your typical foreplay actually look like ? He encourages them to take notes.

There are spreadsheets, toys and lube recommendations, stuff is ranked from “can be fully spontaneous” to “extensive prep required”.

It’s a full Advanced Sex Ed course, and the rookies get way more help than they ever hoped for. Also some judgement too, because “what do you mean you don’t go down on your girl on the regular ? Man that’s disappointing”.

They end up sharing what they learned with rookies on other teams, because the knowledge is so good, they can’t gatekeep it. The Hollander Files became somewhat of a legend amongst younger players.

Once in a while a kid from the team they’re playing against will come up to Shane after the game, “so my partner wants to try this thing and it’s not in the Files, do you have advice on how to approach it ?”

And Shane will laugh at Ilya, “see, research IS useful” before helping the rookie.