who knows?

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

don’t contact me. ever

I like having a phone but I'm not so sold on having a phone number. people are calling me

why r u attempting to use my portable communication device to communicate with me. that's not its function

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

i could be your pet rock. id be very good at it

ive had some time to think and honestly i dont think id be a very good pet rock. i dont know what i was thinking. theres too much anger in me

you have a headache because you have powers

not now honey, mommy’s yearning for something that once was and will never be again

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to deny location sharing and turn off personalized ads and reject all non-essential cookies and not set up siri and face ID

what the fuck is a salesforce. we're briefly alive for a few violent decades

listening to the same album over and over is good for your health btw

when god closes a door you reach your little paws under it and go mrrwwaaaooow mmreeaaow