Kina⋆˚࿔

He kept nodding to himself, muttering words to be more encouraged and when he sees you waving your friends goodbye, he's sprinting towards you.

You hear your name from your back, someone screaming repeatedly at you as the footsteps get louder. You turn around with your eyebrows furrowed and a scary look on your face until you see that's just Bokuto running towards you.

"Oh hi, Bokuto-kun." You smile at him while he still has two steps to reach you, when he sees your cheeks make your eyes smaller, he almost trips.

"Hey!" He says, too loud as well.

His voice echoes down the hallway, he skids to a stop right in front of you, chest heaving from the sprint, and for a second he just stares with wide golden eyes. Then he remembers the flowers.

"Um, these! These are for you!" Bokuto blurts out, whipping the bouquet from behind his back so fast a couple petals flutter to the floor.

It's a big, bright mix of yellow sunflowers and soft pink carnations, tied with a simple ribbon that looks a little crooked like he wrapped it himself. His hands are shaking just a tiny bit as he holds them out to you.

You blink, surprised but in the softest way. "Bokuto-kun… wow. These are really pretty." You take the bouquet gently, fingers brushing against his for just a heartbeat.

He rubs the back of his neck. "I wanted to thank you for helping me so much with that test! I wouldn't have done it without you staying late to explain me everything." His voice gets louder with each words, then drops suddenly in case he's scaring you off. "So yeah, thank you! I hope I picked the right flowers!"

Your heart does a little flip at how earnest he sounds. You lift the bouquet closer and breathe in the sweet scent, smiling the whole time.

"You really didn't have to get me anything, you know? I had fun studying with you." You tilt your head, teasing him softly. "But thank you. I love them."

Bokuto's face lights up, a huge grin spreads across his cheeks, turning them pink. Then he gets really serious. "You're not allergic to pollen right?"

You shake your head, stepping a little closer without even thinking. "I'm not allergic."

He looks so genuinely happy, giving you those flowers made his whole week. Bokuto shifts on his feet, looking around the empty hallway, trying to get his thoughts together. "You're really cool, by the way. And super smart and fun." He scratches his cheek, glancing away and then right back at you. "Maybe we could hang out again sometime?"

"Oh, you got another exam coming?" you ask, without thinking about it much.

Bokuto opens his mouth and closes it. "Uh no, that was my last exam! I was thinking about just hanging out together, we could go get ice cream or something like that."

"Oh!" Your eyes widened, finally understand that he was asking you out. You nod fast now, your own cheeks warming a little. "I'd love to!"

He pumps his fist without meaning to, then catches himself and beams at you with pure sunshine energy. "Yes! Okay, awesome! I'll come pick you up tomorrow!"

a/n: prettiest boy in all haikyu

"Hi, baby. How was your day?" you ask him softly, threading your nails in his soft hair.

"Mmm." Good. After more than a year of dating, you perfectly understand the translations of whatever syllables he mutters when he's tired.

You smile into his hair, leaving a kiss on top of his head. He squirmed a little, pressing his hands in your sides, which means that he's blushing now and he's not lifting his head until the redness of his face is gone.

"Did you miss me today?" you say, trying to hide the smile on your face as you keep playing with the short hairs at his neck.

"Mhm." Yes.

"I missed you too, you didn't text me all day." You tug on his hair, knowing damn well that it doesn't hurt him at all, but it's enough to tease him.

"Sorry," he mumbles, leaving a soft kiss behind your ear as an apology like he always does when he messes something up with you.

You giggle, scratching his back. "I wasn't angry, Toshi, jus' joking."

"Oh." You didn't even realize he was tense until he relaxes again, letting his whole weight press over your body.

Some minutes pass, you ask him soft questions and he intertwines his hand with yours at some point, he mumbles something so you keep scratching his back. It's all so calm and simple, and suddenly, you start to be uncomfortable.

The problem with your boyfriend is that he's huge. He knows he's tall but he doesn't know that he's strong as well, that he takes up space. Right now, his feet are dangling off the bed while he's fully on top of you, restricting your breathing. You think about a way of telling him to not get him pouty.

"Toshi," you whisper after kissing his temple again, now you have him flustered there's no way he's going to get sad. "You're crushing me."

"No." And he buries himself deeper into your neck, if that's possible.

Oh, great!

"Baby, you are. You're heavy," you say slowly, pushing lightly with one of your hands because he has the other locked with his forever.

"I'm not heavy."

You blink, biting down a laugh. Is he gaslighting you on accident? You shift under him again, but it's like trying to move a breathing wall. His chest presses so solidly against yours that each breath you take feels smaller than the last.

"Toshi," you try once more, keeping your tone light and sweet, fingers still tangled in his hair. "Baby, I can't breathe properly. You're gonna turn me into a pancake."

He makes a tiny sound in the back of his throat, in complete denial that he is that heavy, and nuzzles closer. His hand squeezes yours a little tighter, thumb brushing circles over your skin. It's so gentle it almost makes you forget how heavy he actually is.

You smile softly against his temple, pressing another kiss there. "If you don't move a tiny bit, I'm gonna die of drowning right here in my own bed."

That does it.

Ushijima goes completely still for a second, the words take a moment to sink in, then he lifts his head just enough for you to catch the wide-eyed look on his face. His cheeks are still faintly pink from earlier, but now there's a flash of real worry there. Without another word, he pushes himself up with those strong arms, careful not to jostle you too much, and rolls all the way to the very edge of the bed.

The sudden rush of cool air on your chest makes you inhale deep and you can't help the quiet laugh that bubbles up. He's lying there on his side now, as far away as he can get without falling off, one arm hanging awkwardly off the mattress. His hair is even messier than when he arrived, sticking up in every direction and he won't quite meet your eyes.

"Sorry," he mutters, it sounds so small coming from someone his size. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Your heart melts right there. You turn toward him, reaching out to tug gently at his wrist until he scoots just a little closer. Not enough to crush you again, but close enough that you can trace your fingers along his jaw.

"Come back here," you whisper, soft as a secret. "You didn't hurt me. I just needed some air, that's all. You're my favorite weighted blanket, even if you're too good at it sometimes."

He finally glances at you, the awkward furrow between his brows softening. Slowly, letting him test the waters, he shifts back toward the middle of the bed. His hand finds yours again and he carefully brings it up to press a shy kiss to your knuckles.

You pull him in until your noses brush. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"Mm," he hums, the sound vibrating between you. His free hand comes up to rest lightly on your waist, thumb stroking the edge of your shirt. "Me too."

a/n: don't ask me why but he was such a complicated character to figure out. thank you @fancy-possum for helping me with this<33

⨳ 𝓷𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hi there 🩵 anon!!! thank you sm for participating 🥹 i won’t lie, shidou + a festival date was one combination i never saw coming, but this ended up being fun to write

you spend almost an hour getting ready together, only for shidou to completely ruin your hard work by peppering messy kisses all over your freshly made-up face. “ryu, my makeup!” you complain, swatting him away while he laughs. “… can’t help it! you’re so hot!” he exclaims, leaning in to steal one last kiss before you can stop him.

despite being the one who suggested the festival in the first place, shidou gets distracted every five minutes. one second he’s dragging you towards a goldfish-catching stall, then the next he’s abandoning whatever the two of you were doing because he spotted a ring-toss game in the distance. you’ve long since given up trying to stick to your itinerary, choosing instead to let him pull you around wherever he wants.

he insists on winning you one of those giant festival prizes. after missing the target three times in a row, you start laughing hysterically that he accuses you of being an ‘unsupportive girlfriend.’ naturally, you spend the next ten minutes hyping him up from the sidelines. then by some miracle, he actually wins on his final try & spends the rest of the night proudly carrying your ridiculously oversized teddy bear.

—

while you’re distracted watching a street performance, he sneaks up behind you and loops his arms around your waist; grinning when you nearly jump out of your skin. he’s always been convinced that personal space doesn’t apply to the two of you.

afterwards, you both end up sitting on a grassy hill to watch the fireworks display. somewhere in the middle of your conversation— shidou suddenly falls quiet, resting his head on your shoulder as the sky lights up in bursts of color above you. “… having fun?” you ask, glancing down at him. he hums softly, squeezing your hand. “hell yeah i am. got everything i need right here.”

by the time the two of you finally make it back home, your feet are aching and shidou is still carrying the oversized plushie he won for you like it’s some kind of trophy. “… you know i could’ve carried that,” you say as he drops it onto the couch.

“yeah… but then how else am i supposed to brag that i won this for my cute girlfriend?”

you roll your eyes fondly, already reaching down to undo your sandals, only for him to crouch in front of you first. “hold still.”

“ryu, i can take off my own shoes.”

“didn’t say ya couldn’t.” he glances up at you with his usual smug grin as he slips one off for you. “just said ‘m doing it.”

for once, you don’t argue. instead, you simply watch as his hands make quick work of the straps, unable to hide the small smile tugging at your lips.

not long after, you’re curled up together on the couch with your legs thrown over his lap while you scroll through all the photos from the evening. “… this one’s cute,” you say, pointing at the picture where you’re smiling up at him while he lifts the teddy bear triumphantly above his head.

“save that one.” he taps the heart icon, marking it as a favorite.

“why? so you can admire yourself later?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“nah… just like having photographic evidence that you’re completely obsessed with me.”

thank you for taking part in my birthday event! i hope you enjoyed your little date ♡

at first, hugo didn't really understand it. he would glance down whenever he felt the familiar little tug on his sleeve, only to find you absentmindedly standing beside him with your attention completely somewhere else.

you weren't asking him for anything. you weren't trying to interrupt him. you just liked being there.

after a while, he stopped questioning it entirely. whenever he noticed you quietly reaching for him, he'd lift his arm just enough for you to comfortably wrap yourself around it before continuing whatever conversation he had been having.

if the team was waiting between training sessions, he'd automatically leave the empty spot beside him open because he already knew where you'd end up sitting. he never teased you for it or called you needy. to him, it was simply another part of you, just like the way you smiled or laughed.

the others, however, found it impossible not to notice.

"is that…normal?" one of them quietly asked after watching you spend nearly ten minutes standing beside hugo with your hand loosely hooked around his wrist while scrolling through your phone.

"they've literally been like that all day," another answered.

"i don't even think she realizes she's doing it."

"hugo doesn't either."

except he absolutely did.

he noticed every tiny habit you had, even if he never pointed them out. he noticed how you'd sleepily reach for his hand whenever you got tired.

how you'd gently bump your shoulder against his whenever you wanted attention but were too shy to ask for it. how you'd instinctively search for him in crowded rooms before relaxing the second your eyes landed on him. they were tiny things that everyone else overlooked, but hugo remembered every single one.

after practice one evening, everyone was exhausted from training, slowly packing up their things before heading back.

hugo was sitting on one of the benches, quietly drying his hair with a towel when you wandered over without saying a word. still sleepy from waiting through the last part of practice, you simply stood between his knees before resting your forehead against the top of his head with a quiet sigh.

"…tired?" he asked.

you only hummed.

he gave a small nod like that answered everything.

without another word, he wrapped one arm around your waist to keep you steady while finishing drying his hair with the other hand. it looked so natural that nobody would've guessed he had only started doing things like this because of you.

when he finally stood up, you instinctively reached for the back of his shirt again.

he looked over his shoulder.

"…ready?"

another tiny nod.

he waited until you had a better grip before starting to walk.

the hallway was busy with players passing by, but hugo never once tried to shake your hand off his shirt or tell you to let go. instead, he slowed his pace just enough so you wouldn't have to rush after him.

"you know," one of the players muttered as they walked past, "she follows you everywhere."

hugo looked down at your fingers still curled into the fabric of his shirt before looking back up with the same calm expression he always wore.

"…i know."

"…doesn't it bother you?"

he was quiet for a second.

"…if she stopped."

his answer surprised even himself.

because somewhere along the way, the tiny weight on his sleeve, the quiet hand finding his, and the soft warmth constantly beside him had become something he looked for without realizing it.

later that night, while the two of you sat together watching a movie, you had somehow managed to end up almost completely leaning against him, one arm lazily wrapped around his while your head rested against his shoulder.

you were half asleep, barely paying attention anymore, mumbling little comments every now and then before your words slowly became quieter.

hugo looked down. "…comfortable?"

your eyes stayed closed as you smiled. "mhm…"

"…good."

he adjusted himself just enough so your neck wouldn't hurt, gently pulling a blanket over both of you without waking you. after that, he simply stayed still, even when his arm slowly started falling asleep underneath your weight. he could've moved. he probably should've.

instead, he glanced at your peaceful face resting against him and decided the numb arm was worth it.

"…sleep well," he quietly murmured, almost too soft to hear.

and although he'd never admit it out loud, the apartment always felt a little emptier whenever you weren't absentmindedly reaching for him anymore. after all, somewhere between all those little habits of yours, hugo had unknowingly grown just as attached to your quiet clinginess as you were to him.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ michael kaiser

michael kaiser absolutely loved the fact that you were clingy, though he'd never admit just how much it fed his ego. in his mind, it simply proved what he already believed—you liked him the most, you wanted to be around him the most, and out of everyone in the room, you always found your way back to him.

no matter how many people were talking to you, how busy either of you were, or where the two of you happened to be, your body seemed to naturally gravitate toward his. if he was lounging across the couch, you'd end up curled against his side without even thinking about it.

if he leaned against a wall while waiting for something, within minutes you'd be standing beside him, your shoulder pressed against his arm or your fingers absentmindedly playing with the sleeve of his shirt.

you never seemed to realize you were doing it, but michael noticed every single time, and secretly, he looked forward to it.

unlike most people, he never found your clinginess distracting. if anything, it became something he expected. there were moments where he'd be scrolling through his phone or watching old match footage, only to feel your weight gently lean against him a few moments later.

instead of reacting, he'd instinctively shift just enough to give you more room, allowing you to settle comfortably against his chest or shoulder while continuing whatever he had been doing.

it became second nature. he no longer questioned why you always reached for him first because, somewhere along the way, he had grown used to your constant need for closeness.

whenever you weren't nearby, he'd catch himself glancing around the room before realizing you were somewhere else, and while he'd never openly admit it, the absence of your familiar warmth always made the space around him feel strangely empty.

there were times when your clinginess became almost impossible to ignore. if the two of you were relaxing together, you'd somehow manage to steal nearly all of his personal space without realizing it.

your legs would end up resting across his lap, your head tucked beneath his chin, or your arms loosely wrapped around one of his while you quietly occupied yourself with something else.

michael always acted like you were inconveniencing him, letting out dramatic sighs or rolling his eyes as though your affection was the biggest burden imaginable, yet he never once made any effort to move away.

in fact, if you shifted even slightly as if you were about to get up, he'd unconsciously adjust his position to keep you close before he even realized what he was doing.

by the time he noticed, it was already too late, leaving him to pretend it had been completely intentional all along.

he especially enjoyed how naturally you sought him out after a long day. the moment you saw him, your shoulders seemed to relax without you even noticing, and before long, you'd quietly settle beside him, leaning your weight against him as though all the exhaustion you'd been carrying could disappear simply by being close.

michael liked to tease you for it, often calling you attached or claiming you couldn't survive more than a few minutes without him, but beneath every smug remark was a quiet satisfaction he couldn't hide.

knowing that your first instinct was always to look for him, to stand beside him, or to rest against him filled him with a sense of pride that only inflated his already enormous ego.

to everyone else, it looked like harmless teasing.

only michael knew how much he genuinely enjoyed being the person you searched for without even thinking.

the people around you noticed it almost immediately. they found it amusing how someone as prideful and self-centered as michael somehow became incredibly patient whenever it involved you.

the same man who complained about people invading his personal space somehow never minded when you leaned against him for hours or absentmindedly held onto his arm while the two of you sat together. if anyone else tried that, they'd receive an irritated glare within seconds. you, however, were different.

michael rarely acknowledged it aloud, but he unconsciously adjusted everything around your habits. he'd sit in ways that gave you more room to lean against him, slow his pace whenever you naturally reached for his hand, and remain still whenever you looked comfortable enough to fall asleep beside him.

he never thought twice about making those adjustments anymore because somewhere along the line, your quiet affection had become part of his daily routine.

despite all of his confidence and endless teasing, there were moments where michael revealed just how attached he'd become in return. on the rare days when you were busy or simply spent more time with someone else, he'd notice almost immediately.

he'd tell himself it didn't matter, insisting that you were free to do whatever you wanted, yet somehow he'd always find an excuse to wander into the same room as you or insert himself into whatever you happened to be doing.

he'd never admit that he missed the familiar feeling of you leaning against his shoulder or reaching for his hand without thinking, but the second you naturally drifted back to his side again, the faint smirk that settled across his face said everything he refused to.

in the end, everyone assumed you were the clingy one in the relationship, but if anyone paid close enough attention, they'd realize michael had quietly grown just as dependent on your presence as you were on his—he was simply far too prideful to ever admit it first.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ sae itoshi

ever since the two of you started dating, sae quickly realized that you were the kind of person who loved showing your affection through quiet closeness rather than words.

you never demanded attention or interrupted whatever he was doing, but your body always seemed to drift toward him without you even noticing. if he was sitting down watching game footage, you'd eventually wander into the room with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders before quietly settling beside him, leaning your head against his arm as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

if he stood in the kitchen making himself something to eat, you'd appear only moments later, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind and simply standing there without saying a single thing.

there were days where neither of you exchanged more than a few words for hours, yet somehow you were always touching him in some small way, whether it was your fingers hooked around the sleeve of his shirt, your shoulder pressed against his, or your legs resting over his whenever the two of you relaxed together.

being close to him made you feel safe, and after a while, sae became so used to your quiet attachment that your absence felt stranger than your clinginess ever did.

sae himself wasn't naturally affectionate, nor was he someone who constantly sought physical contact, but he learned your habits faster than he expected. at first, he'd glance down whenever he suddenly felt your hand slip into his or your forehead rest against his shoulder, wondering if there was a reason behind it.

eventually, he realized there wasn't one. you simply liked being near him. that realization made him stop questioning it altogether. whenever you absentmindedly reached for him, his hand would already be waiting before yours could fully find it.

if you leaned against him while he was reading or watching something, he'd shift just enough to make sure you were comfortable without ever looking away from what he was doing.

even when he was focused on something important, he'd subconsciously adjust his posture so you had somewhere to rest, almost as if his body had memorized yours before his mind even registered your presence.

your clinginess also showed itself in the smallest moments throughout the day. whenever sae came home after training or traveling, you were always the first thing waiting for him.

you'd quietly make your way over the second you heard the door open, wrapping yourself around him with sleepy eyes before he even had the chance to take his shoes off. you never cared if he was tired or sweaty from practice; all you wanted was those few minutes where you could reassure yourself that he was finally home.

sae never returned your hugs with the same enthusiasm, but he also never pushed you away. instead, one hand would naturally come to rest on your back while the other gently stroked your hair a few times before he continued walking, practically carrying you through the apartment because you refused to let go.

after enough time together, he accepted that this was simply how you greeted him, and if one day you didn't come over to cling to him, he'd quietly find himself looking around the apartment, wondering where you were.

the people around sae noticed it long before either of you did.

they often found it amusing how someone so emotionally reserved ended up dating someone who practically treated him like a personal pillow.

during gatherings or visits, you'd always end up tucked against his side without thinking, your head resting on his shoulder while conversations happened around you. sometimes you'd doze off against him entirely, completely trusting that he wouldn't move until you woke up.

everyone expected sae to complain or gently move you away, but he never did.

he'd simply continue whatever he was doing with one hand resting absentmindedly on your arm, making sure you wouldn't slip off or wake yourself. the sight was so unlike the cold, distant image people had of him that it caught everyone off guard.

sae never acknowledged the stares or comments because, to him, this had quietly become normal. your constant need to be close wasn't something he tolerated anymore—it was something he unconsciously made room for, adjusting his own habits around yours until your presence became woven into every quiet part of his daily life.

there were even moments when you apologized, worried that you might be bothering him because of how often you found yourself reaching for him without thinking.

sae never understood why you worried so much. if your hand searched for his while the two of you walked together, he'd simply lace his fingers through yours. if you rested your head on him after a long day, he'd continue sitting there as though nothing had changed.

if you fell asleep leaning against his shoulder, he'd stay exactly where he was until you naturally woke up, even if his arm had gone numb long ago. he wasn't the type to shower someone with affectionate words or dramatic gestures, but his patience spoke louder than anything he could have said.

he accepted every quiet habit you had without making you feel embarrassed for them, and over time, you realized something that made your heart ache in the sweetest way possible.

you had become sae's routine just as much as he had become yours.

he would probably never admit it out loud, but on the rare occasions when you weren't there to absentmindedly cling to him, the silence around him felt just a little emptier than it used to.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ bunny iglesias

bunny never had a problem with how clingy you were.

if anything, he found it strangely comforting. there was something about the way you always ended up beside him that made even the busiest days feel quieter.

you never asked for much—you simply liked being close. whether you were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder while doing your own things, lightly holding onto the sleeve of his jacket whenever the two of you walked together, or absentmindedly resting your head against him whenever there was a moment to slow down, your affection always came so naturally that it never felt forced.

it was simply how you loved him, and before long, it became something he couldn't imagine going without.

at first, bunny didn't really understand just how often you searched for him. he'd look up from whatever he was doing only to find you already standing nearby, quietly existing in his space without expecting a conversation.

there were moments where neither of you spoke for several minutes, yet you'd still be leaning against his shoulder or sitting close enough that your knees brushed together. eventually, he realized you weren't looking for constant attention—you were looking for comfort. being near him settled your mind, and once he understood that, he stopped questioning your little habits altogether.

instead, he'd naturally make room for you before you even asked, shifting over on the couch, slowing his pace, or leaving one side of him open because he already knew you'd end up there.

your clinginess showed itself in countless little ways throughout the day.

if bunny stood still for more than a few moments, you'd wander over almost without thinking, gently looping your arm through his or leaning against his side while your mind drifted elsewhere. whenever the two of you were relaxing together, you'd somehow find yourself pressed against him, your head resting comfortably on his shoulder while you read, watched something, or simply enjoyed the peaceful silence between you.

you weren't trying to demand his attention; your body had simply grown so used to seeking him out that it happened without thought. after enough time together, bunny stopped noticing when you leaned on him because it had become such a normal part of his everyday life.

the people around you found the relationship amusing because they quickly realized how differently bunny treated you compared to everyone else.

he valued his personal space with most people, yet somehow you were the one exception. no matter how often you leaned against him or quietly followed him from room to room, he never looked bothered. instead, he unconsciously adjusted around you, making sure you were comfortable before thinking about himself. if you looked tired, he'd stay where he was a little longer so you wouldn't have to move.

if you accidentally fell asleep against him, he wouldn't dare disturb you, even if it meant sitting in the same position until his shoulders became stiff. to everyone else, those gestures were small, but to you, they meant everything because bunny wasn't someone who expressed his feelings with dramatic words. he showed them through patience.

there were even times when you worried you might be too much. you noticed how often you reached for him without thinking and wondered if it ever became overwhelming. every now and then, you'd hesitate before leaning against him, trying to give him more space than usual, only for bunny to notice almost immediately.

he had grown so accustomed to your familiar warmth that the sudden distance felt wrong. without saying much, he'd naturally close the space between you himself, settling beside you until your shoulders touched again or quietly resting an arm around you as if reminding you that you never had to second-guess yourself.

he never made a big speech about it because that simply wasn't who he was, but his actions always answered your worries before you could voice them.

over time, your clinginess stopped being something either of you thought about. it became part of the rhythm of your relationship, woven into every ordinary moment the two of you shared.

bunny grew used to feeling your hand find his without warning, to your head resting against him after a long day, and to your quiet habit of searching for him whenever you entered a room. it wasn't something he merely tolerated—it became something he looked for without realizing it.

on the rare days when you were too busy or simply forgot to drift toward him, he'd notice the empty space almost immediately. he'd never admit that he missed your constant closeness, but the way his eyes instinctively searched for you, and the quiet ease that returned the moment you settled beside him again, made it obvious enough.

to everyone else, you were the clingy one, but the truth was that bunny had slowly grown just as attached to your presence as you were to his.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ julian loki

loki was not someone people expected to be the type to indulge someone’s clinginess. with his calm personality, his focus on football, and the way he carried himself with quiet confidence, most people assumed he would prefer having his own space. but when it came to you, things were different.

your affection never felt like a distraction to him. if anything, it became one of the few things that allowed him to relax completely after spending so much time pushing himself. you had a way of making the world around him feel slower, and your constant need to be close became something he quietly appreciated more than he would ever openly admit.

you were naturally affectionate, the kind of person who always found small ways to stay connected to him.

you weren't always talking or asking for attention, but you were almost always near him. whether it was sitting beside him while he reviewed something, resting your head against his shoulder when the two of you had a quiet moment, or simply reaching for his hand while walking together, your presence always seemed to find its way into his routine. sometimes you didn't even realize you were doing it.

it was almost instinctive, like your body already knew where it wanted to be. beside him, close enough to feel comfortable, but never enough to interrupt his own space.

loki noticed those little habits almost immediately.

he was observant by nature, so he picked up on every small thing you did. he noticed how your mood changed when you were able to spend time with him, how you naturally relaxed whenever you were close, and how you always seemed to search for him first whenever you entered a room. instead of finding it overwhelming, he found it endearing.

there was something incredibly genuine about the way you loved him. you weren't attached because you wanted something from him—you simply enjoyed being around him. and for someone who spent so much of his life surrounded by expectations and pressure, having someone who just wanted his company meant more than he could explain.

because loki was so patient, he never made your clinginess feel like a problem. he never pushed you away or made you feel like you were taking up too much space. if you leaned against him while he was relaxing, he'd simply let you stay there.

if you held onto his arm while the two of you walked somewhere, he'd adjust his pace so you could stay comfortable. if you quietly followed him around during his free time because you wanted to spend more time together, he would just accept it as another normal part of his day.

he didn't need constant affection himself, but he understood that it was important to you, and that alone was enough reason for him to give it back.

the funniest part was that loki slowly became just as used to your closeness as you were.

your presence became something familiar, something he subconsciously expected. after a long day of training, he found himself looking forward to the peaceful moments where he could simply sit with you and forget about everything else. you were one of the few people who didn't see him as just a talented player or someone who always had to be perfect.

with you, he could just exist without having to prove anything, and your clinginess reminded him that he was loved outside of football.

others around him noticed the difference too. they were used to seeing loki composed and collected, always focused and professional, so seeing him quietly allow you to cling to him was something they found surprising. he would be in the middle of something important, yet the moment you came over and rested against him, his attention would soften.

he wouldn't stop what he was doing completely, but he would make room for you without hesitation. it was subtle, but anyone who knew him well could tell that you were an exception to the usual distance he kept with people.

there were even times where you worried you were becoming too attached. you wondered if you were bothering him or if he wanted more space, especially because loki wasn't someone who always expressed his feelings through obvious reactions.

but he always made sure you knew you were welcome. he wasn't the type to shower you with dramatic affection or constantly reassure you with words, but his actions always gave you the answer. the way he stayed close, the way he remembered your little habits, and the way he never once made you feel like your love was too much spoke louder than anything else.

eventually, your clinginess became something that belonged to both of you. it wasn't just a habit you had—it was a quiet part of your relationship that loki had grown attached to as well.

he became used to your hand finding his, your warmth beside him, and the comfortable silence that came from simply being together. and although he would probably never make a big confession about it, the truth was that your affection became one of the few things he never wanted to lose.

because even someone as disciplined and focused as julian loki needed a place where he could stop being a player and just be himself, and somehow, that place had always been right beside you.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ don lorenzo

lorenzo was probably one of the last people anyone expected to be comfortable with someone being clingy toward him.

with his strange personality, playful attitude, and the way he always seemed to keep people guessing, most people assumed he wouldn't care much about someone constantly wanting to be around him. but when it came to you, it was different. your clinginess wasn't something he saw as annoying or overwhelming.

instead, he found it oddly reassuring. after spending so much of his life feeling like he had to rely on himself, having someone who naturally reached for him, chose him, and wanted to stay by his side was something he never truly got tired of.

you weren't clingy in a way that took away his freedom. you simply loved being close to him.

it showed in the small things you did without even realizing it. whenever the two of you were together, you always found some way to stay connected, whether it was sitting close beside him, leaning against him during quiet moments, or reaching for him whenever you walked together. sometimes you didn't even need to talk.

you were perfectly content just being near him, existing in the same space while doing your own things. for you, his presence alone was comforting, and over time, don lorenzo became used to the way you always seemed to find your way back to him.

at first, he found it amusing.

he was used to people reacting to him because of his reputation, his personality, or the strange way he carried himself, but you were different. you didn't treat him like someone intimidating or impossible to understand.

you simply treated him like someone you cared about. your affection was natural and honest, and that was something that caught his attention more than anything else. you weren't trying to change him or expect him to act differently. you just accepted him exactly as he was, and for someone who had grown up without always receiving that kind of care, it meant more than he would ever openly say.

lorenzo slowly became accustomed to your habits.

he learned that when you were tired, you would naturally move closer to him without thinking. he learned that when something bothered you, you found comfort in staying near him rather than being alone. he learned that your way of showing love was through small touches and quiet moments together.

instead of moving away or teasing you too much, he simply allowed it. sometimes he'd act like he was bothered just to get a reaction out of you, but the truth was that he never actually wanted you to stop.

because beneath all of his strange jokes and unpredictable behavior, lorenzo was someone who valued loyalty deeply. your clinginess reminded him that someone genuinely wanted to stay. you weren't around because of his talent, his status, or what he could offer—you were there because you cared about him.

and that kind of affection was something he didn't take lightly. even if he didn't always know how to respond in the most normal way, he understood the importance of having someone who made him feel wanted.

the people around him would notice how different he became around you. lorenzo was still don lorenzo—still playful, still weird, still someone who could make everyone question what was going through his mind—but there was a noticeable softness whenever you were involved. he was more patient with you, more willing to listen, and strangely protective over the comfort you found in him.

if you leaned against him for too long, he wouldn't complain. if you stayed close during stressful moments, he wouldn't tell you to move. instead, he'd simply let you remain there, accepting your affection in his own quiet way.

there were even moments where he surprised himself by noticing when you weren't around. he was so used to your presence that the absence of it felt strange.

he'd find himself looking for you without realizing it, expecting you to appear beside him like you always did. he would never openly admit that he missed your constant closeness, especially because admitting something like that meant showing a softer side of himself, but the way he naturally relaxed whenever you returned gave him away.

your relationship with lorenzo was never about one person being clingy and the other simply putting up with it. over time, your affection became something shared between the two of you. you gave him the comfort of knowing he had someone who would always choose him, and he gave you the reassurance that your love was never too much.

behind the strange humor and carefree attitude was someone who appreciated being cared for more than he let anyone see, and your clinginess became a quiet reminder that he was no longer someone who had to face everything alone. you were simply the person who stayed beside him, and somehow, that became the thing he valued most.

᭝ ᨳଓ ՟ teddy knight

teddy was the type of person who made it difficult to tell what he was actually thinking.

he carried himself with a calm, almost unreadable expression, often keeping his emotions tucked away behind a quiet attitude and a composed presence. because of that, most people would assume that someone being constantly attached to him would eventually get on his nerves. but when it came to you, it was completely different.

your clinginess never felt like a burden to him.

instead, it became something familiar, something that slowly settled into his life before he even realized how much he had started to depend on it.

you were the kind of person who showed love through presence. you didn't need some grand reason to be near him—you just liked being around him. whether the two of you were sitting together in silence, walking somewhere side by side, or simply spending time doing separate things in the same room, you always found yourself drifting closer to him.

sometimes your shoulder would brush against his, sometimes you'd quietly sit beside him without saying anything, and sometimes you'd simply stay nearby because being around him made you feel comfortable. it wasn't about needing constant attention; it was about knowing he was there.

at first, teddy didn't really know what to do with it.

he wasn't someone who was used to having another person so openly seek him out. he was more familiar with keeping a certain distance, observing others rather than being the person someone naturally reached for.

so when you started appearing beside him more often, resting near him without hesitation, or instinctively looking for him whenever you entered a room, he didn't quite know how to react. he wouldn't push you away, but he also wouldn't immediately show how much he noticed.

teddy was the kind of person who would quietly take note of everything before deciding how he felt about it.

and eventually, he realized he liked it.

there was something strangely comforting about knowing that you always chose to be near him. your affection wasn't complicated, and you never expected him to become someone completely different. you didn't need him to constantly express himself or act a certain way—you were happy with the little things he already gave.

for someone like teddy, who seemed more comfortable keeping his thoughts to himself, having someone who understood his quiet nature was something he appreciated more than he could explain.

your clinginess became part of his routine in the smallest ways. teddy became used to feeling you sit beside him whenever there was an empty space. he became used to your habit of leaning closer when you were tired or reaching for him without thinking whenever something made you nervous.

he became used to the way you searched for him first, like his presence was something that automatically made things feel easier.

and while he might not always react dramatically, he always noticed. every single time.

he was also surprisingly patient with you.

if you stayed close while he was focused on something, he wouldn't make you feel like you were distracting him. if you wanted to spend time with him after a long day, he wouldn't turn you away. teddy wasn't the type to constantly shower someone with affection, but he showed care through small, deliberate actions.

he would make sure you were comfortable, remember little details about what you liked, and quietly adjust his own habits to include you. his affection wasn't loud—it was in the way he made space for you without needing to be asked.

other people would probably find the difference amusing. teddy, who could seem so distant and difficult to read, somehow became someone who allowed you closer than most people ever got.

they would notice how he didn't react the same way when it was you. someone else invading his space might earn a cold look, but you could sit beside him for hours and he wouldn't complain.

your presence became an exception, a quiet place where he didn't have to keep up any walls.

there would also be moments where you worried you were being too attached. you'd wonder if you were overwhelming him or if he secretly wanted more space, especially because teddy wasn't always obvious with his feelings. but the answer was always shown through his actions. he never pulled away.

he never made you feel like your affection was unwanted. instead, he would simply stay there beside you, allowing the silence between you to speak for itself.

over time, teddy became just as accustomed to your closeness as you were to his. he might not be the type to openly admit that he enjoyed having someone always near him, but he would notice when things felt different without you.

the room felt quieter, his routine felt slightly off, and there was a strange emptiness where your familiar presence usually was.

he wouldn't call it missing you right away, but deep down, he knew exactly what it was. because your clinginess gave teddy something he wasn't used to—a constant reminder that someone wanted to stay.

and for someone as reserved as him, that meant more than any big gesture ever could. you weren't just someone who followed him around or held onto him a little more than others.

the next time you see him is at the cafeteria 2 days later. you’re sitting alone, picking at your food as you flip through the pages of your book.

shidou approaches you yet again, and his grin is even bigger than the last time you met.

“heeeeey, it’s ms. moody!” he hollers as he claps, and by the looks of it, it seems like the rest of the ward is used to his antics seeing as how none of them react.

he takes the seat across from you before putting his hands up in mock surrender. “yo, i come in peace,” he says, and there’s really no other way to describe his grin except for resembling that of a roblox smirk. or maybe that one kevin hart meme?

you glare at him, the insults are already brewing up in your mind before you’re pulled away as he offers you a handshake. “can we start over? i’m shidou. i’ve been here a while for, uh, high manic symptoms or whatever.”

you stare at his coarse hand, your brows furrowing even harder before your eyes flit up to meet his.

“i told you already, i’m not interested,” you huff, rolling your eyes before stuffing your face with food in an attempt to shut him off.

“hey, man, i get it,” he chuckles, “aspd? antisocial personality disorder, yeah? did i get it right?” he smiles, chasing your gaze as he leans his head down to meet the table. “yanno, ego over there also has aspd,” he whispers, looking at the next table over where a man with an ugly ass bowl cut and even uglier glasses sits alone, eyes completely lacking any sort of light. “…sheesh. stay away from him, though, a’right?”

“what the fuck is wrong with you? can’t you leave people alone? stop trying to fucking diagnose me, you psycho,” you bark, finally looking him in the eyes with a disgusted face.

but shidou’s not one to give up easily. “takes one to know one! literally,” he giggles, sitting up properly as he brings his palms up and rests his chin against them, “come on, gorgeous. lighten up. ‘m not gonna hurt ya.”

“i will,” you say before getting up and grabbing your book.

“hey, hey—!” he yells, hands up and ready to stop you as he mirrors your movements and gets up as well, “let’s take this elsewhere!” he chuckles nerviously.

“get the fuck away from me! don’t make me tell you again!”

“fuck, i’m so hard right now…” he giggles enthusiastically with his entire chest, falling on the floor as he tries to crawl away.

the nurses immediately come to your aid, pulling the two of you aside.

“you can’t go around throwing tantrums like that,” the psychologist says gently, sitting calmly in her chair. “it’s only your first week here and you’ve already had two outbursts.”

you sigh, looking out at the window to avoid her gaze. you despise her. you didn’t even bother learning her name beforehand, and if you did, you sure as hell don’t care enough to try and remember it.

“what is it that’s making you angry?” she asks, and it takes everything in you to hold back from answering her with a simple “you,” but you opt for staring into her eyes instead, thinking thoughts that placed you in the very position you’re in right now—thoughts you should definitely not be having.

a couple seconds go by with you simply glaring daggers at her as she looks at you calmly, and honestly? that calm ass, zen ass, relaxed look on her face makes you all the angrier.

“i can’t help you if you don’t allow me to.”

God knows you’ve heard that line too many times before.

she sighs, shaking her head softly before jotting down something in her journal. “alright, i’m assigning you a week in the isolation unit. i don’t think it’s safe for you to be roaming around freely,” she says, not even bothering to look you in the eyes as she speaks, “you understand, right? this is what’s best for everyone involved, including shidou. you can’t keep threatening or hurting him.”

her eyes meet yours as she says that last part. shortly after, she calls the nurse over and you’re guided to a white, padded room before the nurse locks you up inside.

the minute the nurses let you go, you catch sight of that antenna-haired freak again. he’s leaning on his room’s doorframe, smirking to himself before pushing his body off and approaching you.

“can’t believe you’d spend a week in the iso unit just to edge me, baby,” he says casually.

“…edge you?” you repeat, side eyeing him with a sour look on your face.

“we were in the middle of foreplay before we got interrupted!” he pouted, wrapping an arm around your shoulders before whispering, “whatddya say we pick up where we left off?”

you brush him off, huffing as his arm returns back to his side. “is this how they taught you to cope?” you cross your arms, eyeing him up and down condescendingly.

“oh, don’t look at me that way, babe. i got blue balls, i’ll cum right now.”

“you are fucking disgusting,” you deadpan, and at this point, you’re not even sure if he’s messing with you or not. you uncross your arms and begin to walk away, until you hear shidou call after you.

“hate to see you go but i love to watch you leave!”

“shidou!” / “no, i’m hallucinating again—! awh, come on, man!”

“hey,” he slides beside you, sitting as you zone out.

you blink a couple times, still staring into the distance as your thoughts race.

“you good?” he asks, genuine concern laced in his tone. shidou chases after your eyes again, leaning his head in the direction of your gaze to force you to look at him.

“they’re letting me go.”

your heartbeat quickens. it seems surreal, and despite being in disbelief about it at first, saying out loud only hits you harder.

“what? why?” he asks, getting off the sofa and kneeling in front of you.

tears pool in your waterline as you try to blink them away. you breathe a deep, shaky sigh as you feel your throat tighten, “behavioral issues.”

“oh, shit,” shidou’s eyes widen for a split-second, clearlt taken aback, “‘s it ‘cause of me?”

“no, i…” you breathe again, looking down as you bring your two knees up to your chest, your hands balled into fists, “…i’ve had… altercations with other patients. i get easily irritated, so…”

“what, you beat someone up?”

“just cussed them out. possibly threatened them…”

“damn. should’ve been me,” he shakes his head.

you scoff, rolling your eyes at him. of course he wouldn’t take this seriously. what were you even thinking, opening up to him?

“shit, no, i didn’t…” his voice trails, making you look at him. “i didn’t mean to be insensitive, shit, ‘m sorry, man.”

shidou looks away, looking for the right words to verbalize how he feels before bringing his hands up to your knees. his hands are coarse, but his touch is gentle as he draws circles with his thumbs, “so, where you off to?”

you sigh again, this time collecting yourself as you look around the room to avoid eye contact, “i don’t know. i think they were thinking of transferring me to a different unit or something. that’s what i could piece together from the scraps i heard, anyway.”

shidou nods, still kneeling in front of you. he softly grabs your ankles and places your soles against the marble floor before placing his chin against them, not exactly knowing how to comfort people.

“you look like a fucking puppy,” you snark.

“i’d let you put a leash on me any day.”

you bite the inside of your cheek to hold yourself back from laughing, but ultimately fail as a chuckle escapes you.

shidou smirks before following and laughing in tune with you.

“you are so fucking weird, dude,” you say.

“yeah, i know.”

…

“hey, yanno… i heard what that nutjob told you before she admitted you to the isolation room,” he confesses, the air strangely calm as he speaks.

“how much did you hear?” you ask.

“everythin’. from your name to…”

“including my full name?”

“yeah.”

“damn,” you nod slowly.

“for what it’s worth… i don’t really care if you threaten or hurt me,” he says.

you scoff, looking down on him, “yeah, because you’re a kinky little masochist.”

shidou laughs wholeheartedly. “i mean, yeah but… isn’t that what makes this so great?”

you pause, “this?”

“this,” he says, pointing to the two of you, “if you need to be mean, be mean to me.”

your brows furrow, and your chest tightens just a little. “why are you… why are you so adamant on this?” you ask, trying to make sense of it all.

shidou’s eyes fall, clearly having a hard time verbalizing his feelings. “i… i don’t know,” he says, eyes distant, “i just… am.”

you gulp, unable to say anything.

“say, you wanna run away with me?” pink eyes stare into yours as he asks, tone completely dead and casual.

you don’t think you’ve ever seen shidou look this serious before.

the next day, you’re awoken by a fire alarm going off. footsteps rush outside your door as a defeaning bell rings through the halls.

you get up, standing with your hand against your doorframe as you watch patients run past you like you’re invisible. your eyes scan the crowd. where the fuck are the nurses..?

an arm grabs you—a touch so rough, it’s for sure to leave a bruise. you try to pry away until you see who it is.

shidou laughs maniacally as he rushes you out the kitchen door. everyone else uses the fire exit, the front doors, and even the ones out back.

“ahh, there’s so much adrenaline pumping in my body!” he laughs before stopping you in his tracks and covering his mouth.

you’re still in a state of daze and confusion, brain still in the middle of processing what’s currently happening to you right now.

“shiiiiit, empty guard post! jackpot!” he snickers, hand gripping onto your arm yet again before running off, “he must be helping the crowd out front! we’re lucky!”

“shidou, are you sane?!” you question, breaking free from his grip as you swat his hand away. “did you set the fucking fire alarm off? how did you even manage that?!”

shidou looks at you, perplexed as if you had just told him the sky was green. “…huh?”

“i didn’t even fucking say yes to running off with you!”

oh.

he hadn’t thought of this yet—hadn’t even considered you not wanting to leave. but you just looked so down back then, so utterly helpless.

hey, how long as it been since he’s slept? shidou doesn’t even remember…

you turn your head around in a flash when you hear running footsteps. they’re light, which means whoever’s coming is still a good distance away.

your eyes flit from the open kitchen door you’d walked out of, to the parking lot a few steps away. if you made a run for it now, you’d probably be able to hide and successfully escape, but…

ah, fuck it. fucking psychotic ass, crazy bug.

you take shidou by the arm and drag him to the parking lot behind one of the vehicles. though the lot is visible and relatively close to the front entrance, the huge van you managed to duck behind does a great job at hiding you.

you look back to the man beside you, who’s currently still in a state of shock.

“shidou!” you whisper-yell, “snap out of it!”

shidou doesn’t budge, his form lifeless as if he had just been bitten by frostbite.

you kneel in front of him before slapping him in the face. “hey, fucking focus! don’t you have a plan?”

shidou blinks a couple times, registering your words.

“…plan?”

“yes, a fucking plan! don’t tell me you did all this shit on a whim?”

“uuuhh…”

you sob, covering your mouth quickly to stop yourself before sighing a shaky breath.

“fuuuuck my life.”

you don’t know how, but you managed to secure a cheap motel room with shidou a few miles away after picking up a random nurse’s lost wallet in the parking lot.

he’s already back to his usual self—the usual shidou you know, anyway. turns out all he needed was a stroke of luck, and after finding the lost wallet, he’s already back on his bullshit.

shidou is laying flat on the bed in a starfish position as you come out of the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around your figure. when he notices you, he chuckles an amused laugh before sitting up.

“yanno, all that escaping got me a little hard… the adrenaline?” he says, legs spread, staring at your backside.

“i think you need to calm down. the cops’ll be looking for us,” you deadpan, trying to dodge any of his attempts at romance. you’d be damned if you took advantage of a man that’s clearly delirious.

shidou sighs and stands up before walking over to you slowly as you brush your hair. “where’re your clothes?” he asks before pressing against you and nuzzling into your neck.

“i… they’re hung in the bathroom. i washed them,” you say, tensing up a little under his touch.

shidou takes your jaw gently in his hands before guiding you to look at him, pink eyes staring softly into yours. his pupils are dilated, and there are hints of red in his cheeks and on his ears.

shidou’s breathing is laboured.

18+, feel free to skip.

you lay under the sheets with shidou, your heart racing as he lays on his stomach, catching up on breathing beside you.

“…mdd,” you say, staring at the ceiling.

shidou blinks a couple times in your direction.

“major depressive disorder,” you blink, trying to ground yourself back to earth as you sigh a shaky breath, “i was checked in by my coach after i… i had an outburst at practice and started threatening my teammates.”

you sit up, dragging the blanket with you as a cover up for your chest.

“but i just…” you breathe, feeling sobs come through, “it was the only thing keeping me going, that’s why i…” tears stream down your face as you hyperventilate, trying to explain yourself to him.

you’ve never opened up to a therapist like this before. you’ve never cried in front of them. and yet, in this moment, you feel a strange wave of emotions as your chest caves in. you’re overwhelmed, and there’s a strong urge to explain yourself to shidou for reasons you don’t even necessarily understand.

“i just wanted them to take it as seriously as i did… i didn’t mean to hurt…”

“hey, hey…” shidou sits up, placing a hand against your back as you bury your face in your hands.

“it was my lifeline…”

shidou gulps, not really knowing what to say.

“and they took it away…”

shidou sighs, wrapping an arm around you as he brings your shaking body to his chest.

after a few more sobs, you begin to calm down. you’re stable enough to pull away from him, your eyelashes glistening wet from the tears as the tip of your nose and cheeks redden.

“i didn’t mean to a bitch to you, i just… i thought i was doing you a favor,” you say, not daring to meet his eyes. “i hurt people who get too close to me.”

shidou can’t help but laugh. scratching the back of his neck, he speaks, “remember when you asked why i was so adamant about you?”

you nod meekly, “is it because you’re a horndog?”

he chuckles, “close. but eh…” he trails, touching his chin as if to think, “i think i like girls whose misery you can sense. ya feel?”

you furrow your brows, not really understanding as you look at him.

he catches your gaze and shakes his head, “i mean, like… girls who’ve been through a lot. crazy bitches.”

“so you’re saying i’m fucking crazy?”

“well, aren’t you?” he laughs.

…

you feel a sense of rage rush through you, and before you know it, you’re bashing his head against the headboard.

shidou yells as you let go, blood running down his head and staining his blonde hair. “what the fuck—?!”

“don’t fucking patronize me!” you yell, getting off the bed and taking the blanket with you. “you’re such an asshole! you’re the crazy one!”

“you just bashed my fucking head in!” he says, blood on his hands as he tries to stop the bleeding. he holds his free hand down the blanket to cover himself up, stopping you from taking the entire thing altogether.

“are you seriously hard right now?”

“you know i’m a masochist!”

“ryusei, you are the worst fucking person i’ve ever met! i never should’ve gotten involved with you!”

“i fucking hate you too, you crazy bitch!” he scoffs, blushing as he tugs the blanket down.

“did you just get harder?”

“stop looking at my cock, bro!”

“i am not your fucking bro!”

you dive into the bed again before bashing his head a second time, making more blood drip out before you rush to the bathroom and get your clothes.

“fuck, i’m leakin’…” you hear him say, and you’re not sure which head he’s talking about right now, but you don’t really care. you need to get out of here.

you quickly get dressed and as you’re putting on your top, you hear sirens outside. your eyes widen as you unlock the door and peek out, only to be met with the sight of the police on your window as they peek in.

shidou stiffens before making eye contact with you and laughing before the cops knock on your door.

“excuse me? we’ve gotten reports of shouting and possible violence in here. everything okay in there?”

fuck, the motel owner must’ve called them. stupid fucking snitch!

“we know you’re there. please come out, we’re not going to hurt you.”

“um, just a minute!” you yell, quickly putting your top on and running over to the door. “cover up, you whore!” you whisper-yell as you walk past shidou, who’s smiling way too much.

“we’re about to get busted and you’re fucking enjoying this?” you snark, hand on the doorknob.

“oh, i’m about to bust, alright.”

you find yourself at a different psych ward a day later, under 24/7 surveillance with a nurse on your tail wherever you went and a security system tighter than a bank’s.

you sigh, bored out of your mind until you hear a familiar voice behind you.

“baaaaaby!”

how and why the fuck are you in the same ward?!

you turn around to see shidou and his nurse approaching you, placing a hand on your hip as he nuzzles against your neck.

“that’s not allowed,” and you can’t tell if it’s from your nurse or his, but either way, they don’t really do anything to separate you.

“hey, yanno, they filed your case under domestic violence,” shidou says, lifting his head up to look you in the eyes, “that mean what i think it means?”

“it means you need to get the fuck away from me.”

“what are we?”

the latch on your window lifted without so much as a click. the cool gusts of night air precede kakashi, as one of his hands settled against the windowsill, swiftly followed by the quiet sweep of his sandals. he lands on your floorboards. the wood beneath his feet never creaked when he dropped himself off through your window with practised ease. the same way you never bothered to look up when the sounds of a shutting window that you never opened reacquainted themselves with your ears.

though tonight, he didn't veer any further than the spot he landed on. he simply settled, almost as if anchored to it.

the ninja in your room remained crouched, with his breathing slow and heavy. his mask and uniform were desecrated with dirt, and defiled with dried blood. whether it was his own or that of another's, you couldn't completely tell. kakashi seems more like a walking riddle than a man right now, with his eyes fixed to the floor, staring idly at the space between his feet. he lacked the piercing glances one might expect an anbu-nin scanning for danger to have. at best, he seemed contemplative, and at worst, he seemed dejected. your own feet meet the floor, sacrificing the warmth of your bed on a pursuit to conduct a more personal investigation.

kakashi indulges your curiosity. he doesn't move away from you, not a single inch. your sight is first greeted with tufts of white hair, stained with whatever the crude world decided to mark him with. he still doesn't move when you bend your knees slightly, reaching downwards to grasp his shoulders. you can feel him shiver at your touch.

he still makes a battle out of looking at you, still appearing insistent on staring at the floor. it felt like the dark circles painted under his eyes, with exhaustion rooted deep into his flesh, were weighing his own gaze down. it only ceases when your hand—as soft as ever—grips the underside of his chin and guides his head upwards.

neither of you spoke. you both didn't need to. and for that, kakashi felt thankful. he withdrew, and often made it a statement to push people away, should he suffer even more loss. he didn't want the weight of grief to grow heavier on his shoulders, as strong as they were. but even so, he couldn't help visiting you when the sun fell, and the moon rose. it felt natural. kakashi couldn't help but to be selfish.

you were his sanctuary. his comfort. his, and his alone.

he tried not to take advantage of your kindness. the time between each of his visits would grow longer and longer, but like a moth to a flame, he would always find himself at your place. he reckons it's some form of self-punishment, but it doesn't feel like that when the lights of your room entice him to come in and make himself feel at home. it doesn't feel like self-punishment when you show him a night's tenderness after a day's terror. the pilgrimages he takes to see you are wrought with pain and isolation, and yet, he doesn't have any regrets taking that troublesome trip.

"come." your voice falls like rain on parched soil.

his heart flutters at the sound of your command. he finally rises, revealing the full extent of his height. the hand you once had on his chin is now holding his hand, tugging it. you guide him to your bathroom, and he follows obediently.

kakashi's towering frame has become the centerpiece in your bathroom. his figure emanates strength and power, though the sullen energy that radiates from him tells you the opposite. you stand on your tip-toes to unclasp his mask, but your emergency inches of spare height simply aren't enough. in an act of mercy, kakashi leans forwards—his face coming closer to yours. he could have very well taken it off himself, but he finds pleasure in your care. he wants you to do it.

pale hair tickles your face. you can hear a tinny sigh held back by his porcelain mask. your fingers slip beneath the strap at the back of his head, and with a snap, the mask is freed from his face. it's merely one of many masks that kakashi has at his disposal.

this porcelain mask conceals kakashi, the shinobi.

and the additional fabric mask beneath conceals kakashi, the man.

he allows you to see him for what he is. he allows you to slide the cloth off his face and draw it away completely. in exchange, you allow him to live without the need to shield himself. you do not gawk at him, nor do you marvel over seeing the face that is the subject of conjecture. you let him be.

"may i?"

it's hard to say no to you. he nods his head without a second thought.

you continue to break him down, with your hands moving to the fastenings at his shoulders where straps kept his armoured vest in place. one clasp loosened, then the other. undone, the armour clinked as it dropped to the floor, next to the mask. it carried the weight of his job; of every mission he survived; and every order he had followed. and now, it was left on your floor.

holster. kunai. sword. arm guards.

one by one, they were all quick to accompany each item after the next into the growing pile of items that burdened kakashi, until all there was left were clothes.

the fabric of his suit folds in on itself as you pull it down. it reveals a muscular carving of skin that's bruised in some places, and scarred in others. he's stood in your bathroom, wearing nothing but his underwear. piece by piece, you had been chipping away at your anbu-nin until all that was left was a man underneath.

and that was the standard whenever he came over. the outside world didn't matter. his names, titles, responsibilities, everything. it got left behind on your bedroom window, and it would be waiting for him at the break of dawn. but for a few hours, but for now, he could be as close to normal as this world allows. he could seek comfort from a person with flesh, instead of talking to an unanswering, cold stone.

with the lightest touch, your knuckles smooth a trail against his torso as you look for injuries. a lot of the old bruises you saw on his last visit have healed, which brings you relief. you can hear your own voice in the back of your head telling him to be careful. maybe he really did listen to your nagging. it makes you smile a little.

"clean yourself up. you need it, kakashi. how about i prepare something for you to eat while you're here? you must be hungry." you suggest.

you have always offered kakashi the freedom to shower alone, but as he stands in front of the running shower, he almost looks pained at the offer. it's nearly comical. kakashi, crowned with the moniker of 'friend killer,' is looking at you as if you've kicked one of his ninken. the same anbu captain who could walk alone into enemy lines without fear, was finding the prospect of being alone more daunting than any mission assigned to him.

your heart aches.

"i know you don't want to be alone… but you know i won't be far, kakashi."

"will you come back?"

you're surprised at how easily that question comes out of his mouth. as if it doesn't go against his moral fibre. he spent years convincing himself that solitude was the safer option, and yet, he wants you to be around. even if it's just for a shower that won't last past a couple of minutes.

"of course i will, kakashi. always."

he doesn't break eye contact while you speak. you end up breaking it with the turn of your body anyways, but you can still feel his stare searing into your back.

"kakashi." your voice is firm. "i'll be here."

and he believes you.

blood, blood, blood.

without anybody to shield him from the danger that is his mind, it's easier for him to be swept by threats of the past trickling into his present. every droplet of water that falls on his trembling skin is red in his head. blood, blood, blood. he can taste the iron in his mouth, he can feel its ugly, warm viscosity seeping into his flesh and staining his skin. it won't go away. the blood he bears for the sins he committed outside have followed him into your fortress of sanity, and it's all his fault. it won't go away.

with his sunken head in his hands, and with the warm water falling onto his hair, kakashi doesn't even realise that tears are falling down his face. he thinks the sound of the shower is loud enough to conceal the sounds of him sobbing, but when he hears the bathroom door open, he knows that's not true, and he knows that he can't hide from you any longer.

his vision is obscured, covered by a film of watery saltiness that makes the world around him seem blurry. he can make out a shape that vaguely resembles you through the tears. he blinks once through his tears, blinks twice, and feelings of safety wash over him as you come into clarity.

cooking for him would have to wait. you don't care about the fact that you're getting your clothes wet when you reach out to him, arms outstretched. his soaking body clings onto you, with strong arms securing you with a brace that so tight, that it echoes his deepest fear: that you will leave him alone again.

"i'm here, kakashi," you whisper in his ear. "it's alright. i'm here."

you don't care how many times you have to repeat this consolation. it would be true each and every time.

the dried blood from the latest mission rinses off his skin, and pours into the drain. when you're around, the blood actually goes away. he feels absolved of his guilt when you're scrubbing it away with a soapy washcloth. his brain cannot bother him with the final screams of whoever he was tasked to kill, so long as your sweet voice continues to hum the tune that he's begun to memorise on each of his visits.

kakashi hated the smell of drawn blood. it was sharp, metallic, and invaded his nose until he could smell nothing else. he's come to relish in your scent, though. right now, it was your shampoo. it smells like sweetness, like comfort, like home—like everything he dreams of when he's out on a mission. a low, rumbling purr vibrates in his chest as your fingers scratch along his scalp. he could stay like this forever.

but when the warm water stops, and when he feels your hands leave his hair, he lets out something of a groan. a dissatisfied one. your lips pressing against the nape of his neck serve to soothe him.

“sorry, kakashi," you speak between soft kisses. "let's get up and get dressed, yeah?”

he doesn't speak, but you know he's listening because he allows you to pat him dry with a towel. his eyes had drifted shut in the shower, but he still doesn't open them, despite the fact that the shower is over. he didn’t need to see. not when you were there to watch his back.

"heads up." you warn.

for the first time in a while, kakashi feels himself smiling, even if it's just a small one. you're patting his face dry with the towel like he's delicate. maybe it's the sheer absurdity of it all. if anything, he should be handling you with such care. he doesn't think he deserves it, but he still lets you massage lotion into his skin like it matters—like he matters. when you're done talking him through every product in your cabinet, you both leave the steamy bathroom and return to your bedroom. you hand him a clean pair of clothes, just for the night, and he wears them, savouring the smell of freshly washed fabric against his smoothened skin.

your bed is soft.

the mattress mirrors your generosity with its size, with it being large enough to accomodate both of your laying bodies. it felt like a luxury to kakashi, but not compared to the warmth of your body. that was the richest luxury of them all.

his arms are wrapped around your waist, with his face pressed against your chest. the gentle heat of your skin sinks into his weary flesh, and it makes him forget about the light ache in his muscles. he counts the lengths of your breaths, and the metronome of your heartbeat in his ear lulls him into a state of near-peace.

it would've been complete peace if it weren't for the way this world functioned. kakashi starts to wonder about what life could've been like if the world was different. he starts to think about what life could've been if he weren't in the anbu; if he weren't a shinobi; if he wasn't born into a system that required violence. he could have this kind of peace every single day, and maybe, he could indulge in you without shame.

maybe, he could bring himself to tell you that he loves you. he could really get attached.

in this darkness, kakashi opens his eyes and shifts his irises to look at you. your sleeping face looks like it's found the peace he thinks about. he moves his eyes to look at your chest as it rises and falls.

there's blood beneath that precious skin of yours. warm, running blood. images of kannabi bridge and cold bodies flash through his memory like lightning, and kakashi, drunk on your warmth, holds your body even tighter to stave off the chills that run through his spine. he tosses, and buries his face in your chest like the past has come to chase him. the images linger for an awful moment, taunting him almost, before your hand runs itself through his hair. the visions then fade into a thick mist, leaving not a single trace behind.

"kakashi…" you speak softly.

he stops moving when you talk, and he holds his breath for a moment. he listens to your heartbeat. the sound of your blood pumping, giving you life. you're here. he's here. and finally, he releases the pent-up breath that relieves him on its exhale. 

"i love you…" the words come out in a sleepy haze.

kakashi leans in to the softness of your breasts, right where your heart beats. rather than tearing your heart open, he presses a kiss there instead.

he loves you too.

a/n: wow this is probably the first SFW work I've dropped on this blog... (😳) this thought has been itching my head for the past idk how many months. ugh kakashi ily

i seriously need to make this google form to see what characters you guys wanna be tagged for, but in the meantime if you wanna be tagged for kakashi works #LMK! i hope u guys like this!