There is a grief there too and the bones of anger lie in its bed

Let's be honest with ourselves, us trans women grew up as teenage boys; not that we were boys but that society saw us as boys. Young men are bombarded with misogynistic propaganda every single day, and nobody is immune to that. If you think you're the exception, you're wrong

Toxic masculinity doesn't just disappear when you start taking estrogen. You have to actively, critically examine the beliefs you take for granted and unlearn the bad ideas society has taught you. But so many of you have assumed, just as TERFs do, "well, I'm a woman now, so I can't possibly be sexist," and then start talking about so-called "TMEs" the way incels talk about women (including us!)

Stop making death and rape threats against trans men (especially children, the fuck is wrong with you all!?)

Stop using gross, misogynistic slurs against trans men and enbies ("transandrocunt", "zipper-tits", "theyfab" etc.). Surely you can see that's no better than when we get called "shemales" and "sissies", right?

Stop pretending that growing up as a girl first has zero lasting impact on a trans man's psyche, especially if the man in question grew up in the global south or underprivileged rural areas

Stop pretending that trans men being ignored and invisible is privilege and not erasure (we've already had this discussion years ago with bisexuals having "straight-passing privilege")

Stop all of that. You're making online trans and queer spaces worse for everyone, yourself included. Transfeminism and anti-transandrophobia aren't opposites. They go hand-in-hand! In fact, they're the exact same thing. You're never going to break the gender binary down if you keep acting like being a trans woman is more valid than other genders

Trans women, stand up for your brothers and enby siblings instead of beating them down, especially in this day and age when governments around the world want to fucking murder and detransition all of us. When they speak, say it louder!

If you're already doing that, I love you and you need to keep doing it until we make the world a better place for all trans folks <3

You were the victim, and it wasn’t fair, but it’s over now. Nobody came to save you, and I’m sorry, but it’s too late for anyone to go back and do it different.

You’re suffering over something that cannot be resolved. You’re allowed to feel angry, or outraged, or betrayed, but there will eventually come a time that you don’t feel that so violently anymore, and you’re going to want to have something good left to go back to.

You can’t make anyone love you the way you need to be loved. That’s how a lot of good things end. Not with a clear sign, something blocking the road that says “do not proceed”, just a splitting of the path that’s still moving somewhat in the same direction.

You can’t fix them. Nothing you can do will fix them. And if they fix themselves, they can’t do it for you- they have to do it for themselves as well, because otherwise a day may come when they’re alone, and as long as they live, they are their only true constant. So you can support, and you can encourage, but the hardest part is up to them. And sometimes they can’t do it even with your help.

Sometimes letting go of someone feels like mourning at their funeral before they’ve died, and every time you see them after it’s like talking to a ghost that doesn’t know it’s dead. Sometimes that happens. You’ll both still wake up tomorrow anyways.

I understand that you’re afraid, and that you’re afraid for good reasons. And I understand that being brave isn’t as easy as just turning that fear off, and you would if you could in a heartbeat. But the thing is, as long as that fear is able to dictate your choices, it will have power over you. If you don’t believe you can try to fight it, if you accept that it will always be in charge, you let the frightening thing stay present in your life. It will exist as long as you stay paralyzed. And that sounds cruel, but it isn’t something anyone can fix for you.

The person you may let yourself become after experiencing the terrible thing may very well grow into a much bigger, much more terrible thing, and someday it will swallow the first terrible thing whole. And all that will be left is something far worse for someone else. And you will not be able to shrink it down by explaining where it came from, because terrible things that are dead and gone are never as terrible as terrible things that are alive right now in front of you.

“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context