14! Do you leave comments on the stories you read? Do you have any advice on commenting?
ok hi here is my longass advice on leaving comments from someone who used to never comment and who now comments on basically everything I read.
Have a genuine and sincere look inside on what is stopping you from commenting. Here's a thought exercise: if someone holds the door for you leaving a building, do you give them a wave or a nod? Does that feel hard to do? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but for many people that feels pretty ingrained. That's commenting. If commenting doesn't feel like that, what's up? (the corollary isn't true, not commenting isn't like ignoring a door being held open, it isn't that rude)
Ideally, leaving a comment should feel like an inconsequential decision. Leave a comment, don't leave a comment, it's all chill chill, it doesn't mean anything greater than that, it's an orange in the middle of the table. that's the ideal. We don't live in the ideal and for a lot of people it doesn't feel like that. Why?
What's the bigger feeling at play? If there's shame, bring it to light. This is non-judgmental, this is just fact-finding.
Here's some common reasons for not commenting:
I'm just a reader and they're a writer
the fallacy of equivalence (this fic meant a lot to me so my comment must match that)
comments must be original
oh no what if someone is mean to me (by other readers or the author)
oh no i don't want to be perceived (there's something inherent in me that is big and scary and vulnerable and if it's brought to light there will be Consequences)
airport security anxiety (what if i accidentally do it wrong and then jail for a thousand years)
never had a thought in my life
why this fic above all others
i only have limited time in my day and it's all horrible tasks i want something nice for once!!
if I don't leave comments I'm a horrible person and horrible people don't deserve to leave comments
And some affirmations to challenge those reasons a bit:
readers and writers are in the fanfiction fandom as equal parts. There's no difference or division between those groups, we're in the space together. It's an extremely niche hobby and we have waaaay more in common with each other than with anyone else in the world. I used to believe that no one would want to hear from me, because who am I, but turns out I'm also a person and so is the writer of that fic I just read and there's actually very few of us. You're not a blob in a big crowd, every reader is more like a very specific individual person in the same coffee shop. It's a big universe. Let's hold hands.
"My comment must be as good/complete/interesting/thorough as this fic deserves" and "I have to say something fresh and new and different and I don't know what to say so I freeze up"
the comment is the comment, the fic is the fic. They are different mediums and the goal of the comment is to be a presence that lets the author know someone read it. That's accomplished the moment the leave comment button is clicked. If the fic was so meaningful no comment can do it justice, then that's a good comment to leave. The comment unfolds in the author in the same way that the fic unfolded in you, it's bigger on the inside.
social graces are really hard! People go to finishing school to learn them, take classes on etiquette, and write in to online advice columns and reddit all the time, trying to hone how they respond to a situation. And one of the main answers is that the best thing to say is often the cliche. It's there because it's optimised. We can stand on the shoulders of giants when leaving a comment. 'I liked this' is a beautiful comment and it creates a meaningful moment between the author and the commenter
There is no way to win at commenting, it is not a competition or an exam. There is no rubric or grades
The end goal of a comment is to leave it. Don't add any more weight to it. Ask yourself if you have a hidden expectation (then the author will be my friend, this comment will make sure the author updates the fic, I will be mentioned in their end of year post etc). Recognise that hidden expectation and release yourself from it.
"I'm scared of a negative reaction to my comment"
if you want to be a person who leaves comments, and you're worried that someone else will respond to them negatively, so you don't leave any at all, remember that the only person's behaviour you control is you. You live with you. In the instance where you avoid a behaviour due to worries about someone else, you're the only one who suffers. That fear has taken your ability to live in the world in the way you best imagine for yourself. Dostoyevsky destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing. The imagined or real person who has an issue with your comments is fleeting, you are forever.
If you've experienced the fandom mob before and been left with scars, it can be really scary to feel in danger of that again. Having your words twisted against you is a violation and it makes it hard to say anything. Fundamentally, the choice to leave comments is with you, it's not with anyone else. If it's something you want to do, then it's your own agency to decide who and when and how. It's your own life given right to participate in the world and you can decide how you want to use it. You might find that leaving small comments is a way to build up that feeling of safety again. It's a reminder you aren't in that situation anymore.
"I'm scared of being perceived - I feel vulnerable"
Take yourself out of it! a comment doesn't have to be - and I would argue shouldn't be - personal. The goal of the comment is to let the author know you read the fic. It's okay to take yourself out of the comment. An example: 'this fic was a really fresh take on the characters that asked a lot of interesting questions about how they would react in an extreme situation. It's extremely well-executed.' That's complimentary and entirely feelings neutral. 'this fic is really good' is a great comment.
"What if instead of saying I like this fic instead autocorrect changes my words to say that I hate the author and their entire bloodline"
It's not an unreasonable fear! We've all been accidentally rude one time or another and online it' so much harder to see how a comment lands. The question is, is the fear proportionate? If you're trying sincerely and genuinely to be nice, then we gotta have some trust that the author will catch that intent. It's not kind to the author to assume they'll read your words in bad faith.
If you DO accidentally say something rude, you always have more chances. Life isn't a one and done. You can reply to a comment and try again. 'I now understand how what I said could be taken wrong, thanks for trusting me enough to tell me, what I wanted to say was I liked the story.' There's always a re-do
"I don't know what to say"
I liked this is a complete comment. This fic is really good is a complete comment. The cliches are fine, the templates are wonderful
"I've always left such good and long comments and now I can't so I say nothing at all cause it won't be as good as before and I feel like a failure"
Rent said there is no future there is no past. Free yourself from the shackle of your own discarded skin. You are the person who exists now. What does that person want to do? What would feel easy fun and free right now?
'We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity—in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.' - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
"I didn't leave a comment on the best fic I ever read, how could I possibly leave one on this fic that didn't change my life. surely I have to go back and fix all my past non-comments before I can start leaving new comments"
Maybe there was another fic that 'deserved' a comment more than this one, but this is the one that's here now. The question is do you want to leave one NOW. if the answer is yes then there's no other or better reason to do it.
If, after leaving a comment on this one, you want to go back to that other fic you can, but you don't ever gotta. The only question, Frodo, is what to do with the time we are given
Comments are not currency, but consider that good financial advice involves making choices for the future, not just paying down debt. It's no way forward to be fixated on the past
No one is ever going to be a perfect commenter! Some things are always going to get missed, and maybe some of the above points will help make that feel less like an attack on the self
"I'm just so tired and commenting feels like a burden"
park the fic for later! Not now doesn't mean never, it's not a failure to take a break
if you really do want to leave a comment right meow meow, what can you do to make it easier? What fake rules are holding you back? Remember that 'I liked this' is a complete comment
don't comment this time and recognise that doesn't mean anything about whether you will comment in the future. Trust the ebb.
"There is so much emotional freight associated with being a commenter I feel daunted and shamed before I've begun"
you're a little being made of stardust and it's all chill you funky little dude
Commenting or not commenting doesn't mean anything about you. It is an action you can take or not take. If you want to comment, comment. If you don't, don't. Neither of these states have a moral valence that attaches itself to your personhood. Anyone who tries to guilt you is not your friend or they don't know what they're saying. Feeling bad is not the goal of fandom. Conversely, you can also not comment yourself into moral rectitude. A comment is a word based sign of presence in the author's sightline. It doesn't mean anything else.
AND FINALLY, here is my actual practical tips for writing a longer comment. These are my building blocks.
I liked this. When [x] happened, I felt [y] and I enjoyed that.
I liked this. This is my favourite line. It made me think [z] and I felt [y]
