[insert a facepalm here]

if i was a different person with a different personality and a different life things would be kinda different i think

when someone calls me their friend my heart skips a beat it’s like i won at being myself

Bro if the group chat gets leaked we’ll be celebrated for our inclusive and respectful language

everything is getting worse and thats why it's SO so important that we have fun and hang out and play and im being serious im being unimaginable amounts of serious

cradling the em dash in my hands what the fuck have they done to you

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

Waking up from a nap and still having a headache is so unfair. You were supposed to save me.

they should invent a headache that goes away the second you drink any water at all

free my girl she did all that and that’s what makes her such a compellingly complex character. that’s her essence

Come, you simply must meet my associates! This woman right here is a delightful pervert of sorts, and this fellow here, he’s some kind of a fucking idiot.

my most Millennial trait is that i want big screen to think properly. to compose my thoughts. app exists for your thing but no website? bad bad bad not good for think, need big screen for think. i wrote this post on the small screen btw

they should invent a disproportionate emotional response that goes away when you understand it's disproportionate. they should invent a way to logic yourself out of emotions