i'm really not willing to entertain superficial online friendships anymore... it all just makes me feel disposable. i want to be Friends with beings. like you don't throw me away at the earliest minor misunderstanding or disagreement sort of friends.
tangential but related, i keep thinking about my relationship to labels. i actually somewhat dislike labels like "anarchist" or "anti-civ" (along with any political label, but those two can most consistently be applied to me) because labels always come with assumptions. i've had beings who thought i was cool turn cold towards me the second they discover i'm "anti-civ", because of mostly-incorrect assumptions they've made. yet also it's part of the reason i like labels like that. it keeps beings like that away from me from the start. i'm anti-civ. i'm vegan. i'm a [ ]phile. if you're weird about that, i don't want to feel betrayed by you later, i'd rather beings just avoid me if they can't put up with that.
but the position that can be spoken is not the eternal position.
anyway i feel like this is all just. rapidly accelerated in online spaces. social connections online emotionally dysregulate me way too much. i am rambling. (mostly just thinking about that one discord server that a bunch of this side of tumblr were in for a bit... that messed with me way too much)



















