i promise that i'll be just as strong as i can be

one of the most frustrating things about getting a job is that after you go through the absolute hellscape that is applying and interviewing and you finally prove yourself worthy of having employment, you'll end up in the workforce and realise that 90% of the people with jobs are not actually very good at them. so like why was all of that even so hard

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

may your next ibuprofen take effect swiftly and noticeably

i see that i've carefully put that important document away in a completely unknown location

the problem is that I want to know everything in the world but also I can't seem to do my laundry when I'm supposed to, rendering me absolutely useless