upon this ass of thine i'll set my hand

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

i’m just saying aragorn son of arathorn oh im sorry STRIDER (one of them rangers what his right name is i never heard etc etc) didn’t need to be that sexy at the prancing pony. like ostensibly he’s trying to lay low but even dipshit little [relatively] eighteen y/o frodo is like hey what’s the deal with that extremely ostentatiously sexy man in the corner

“you draw far too much attention to yourself ‘mister underhill’” if i were frodo i wouldve snapped. jesus christ. i can’t help that i’m two feet shorter than everyone else in this definitely definitely 100% a gay bar but at least i didn’t lurk in a sexy corner making eyes at everybody from under my cloak at least im TRYING to pretend i’m not a protagonist you fine ass idiot. i KNOW i’m being pursued by the black riders which is why i didn’t SERVE CUNT from the SHADOWS. the fellowship of the nerve of this bitch

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

im not a girl Unless ☝️ im being told to go piss

never let the fact that you were born a girl stop you from being the gayest man alive

I love the word "jamboree". If I had a daughter I'd name her Jamboree Lynn, and if I had a son, I'd leave him in the woods to be raised by coyotes.

what if he grew up never knowing you were his parent and came back to kill you in a tragic twist of fate tho

happens

Jamboree Lynn would handle the situation i imagine

Has anyone warned @copperbadge yet

my god…

Shocking development: in a language and culture where most given names are considered masculine or feminine, some genderqueer and nonbinary people choose given names that seem unusual!