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D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

wants you to make him feel like he's the most handsome man you've ever seen. better than his segments, even though he knew he was past his prime. your worship and desire made him feel in control again.

and slutty outfits, no panties underneath. bend over while he's working, and then leave without looking back, and he's grabbing his cane to go after you as fast as he can manage.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

you've been fucking for years, he knows every each inch of you like the back of his hand.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

his favorite was anything that gave you the most pleasure. riding him silly or letting him play with your pussy, he'd go above and beyond just to satisfy you like he used to.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

definitely serious if it's happening in the bedroom, he wants to turn off his brain for once, and indulge himself in the blessing that was your body.

but you two have your silly moments and mishaps, like when you were caught by one of the segments, fucking in the lounge room of all places. zandik shrugged, saying that you were simply testing the durability of the new sofa feofan bought as a gift.

H = Hair(how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

blue pubic hair (obviously), the strands a bit on the thinner side now. he trims it rarely, since it doesn't grow that much anymore.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very intimate, connecting with you was his greatest pleasure. when he has the time, he likes to light a few candles or bring your favorite massage oil, swatting your hands away when you insisted on doing it for him. he will remind you that your comfort was not something he is willing to brush aside.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

rarely if ever, that dick doesn't get up easily anymore.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

using his cane, watching you get fucked by his segments/voyeurism, bondage, groping, sensory deprivation, cockwarming.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

the bedroom was the safest place for having sex, but will never say no to messing around outside of it. tease him with lingering touches and soft words, to let him know how much you craved him.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

seeing you fresh out of the shower in your robes, coming to check on him while he's busy working, or just straight up telling him that you want to fuck him until he's a drooling, quivering mess.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

given his track record, and the shit he's done, i doubt he'd have anything he's strictly against. if you didn't like it, he wouldn't do it, as simple as that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

prefers receiving, getting to stuff your mouth with his cock and watch you please him made all the pain bearable.

as for pleasing you, like previously mentioned, he knows everything you want and like. you'll be squirming and whining in no time.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow and sensual with his cock, rough and fast with his fingers. he switches between the two while using his cane.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

just like with jerking off, it rarely happens. he prefers to take his time with you. unless you were particularly hot and bothered and wanted him to get you off, perhaps he could throw you a bone if you begged him enough.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

it's zandik we're talking about, his whole life is a bunch of crazy risks and experiments. yes.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

yeah...about that... unless he's using some kind of booster, not very long. sorry gramps.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

YESSSS. the first sex toy maker in teyvat, source: me.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

hearing you plead and beg was a reward he'd never give up so easily. being unfair was in his nature.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

quiet at the beginning, letting out occasional grunts and choked breaths. as he gets close to cumming, a few strangled moans were sure to slip out. during your most vulnerable moments, his eyes teared up with how glad he was you still wanted him in this way.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

loves to see you keep eye contact with him while another segment is having his way with you. call out for him when the segment makes you orgasm, and he'll cum untouched.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

still bigger than average despite his age, uncut, pale skin, slightly curved to the right, he can't get completely hard but it's enough to get the job done. run your tongue along the veins and he's bucking up into you desperately.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

on the lower side in his later years, but he was a fiend in his prime. just remember how crazy his segments are now, he was way worse.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)