current Wolf359, HP fandom, Scholomance whirlwind

So, Sirius, newly mourning in an old world full of new people, is given to his cousin Andromeda for rehabilitation. He feels old and young and like he doesn't quite fit into his skin anymore but it only takes a few days for his resolve to follow Dumbledore's advice (and stay away from Harry until he's wrestled his grief under control) crumbles and he tracks Harry down, finds him huddled outside against the glass door in the Dursley's backyard, see him shivering in too big clothes that look like half of what he should be wearing on such a cold night.

But no one believes him. Andromeda frowns, saying none of her monitoring charms signaled his adventure. Lupin never replies to the hasty owl he sends. Dumbledore twinkles and assures him of Harry's safety. It's only when he sees a shockingly older Snape, remembers how the other man had begged forgiveness after the M-word incident, realizes he's not just a professor but a Head of House at Hogwarts and therefore must be considered trustworthy enough, that he asks - begs - Snape to check in on him. Sirius is old and young and knows he isn't able to do anything for Harry yet beyond asking for help.

It isn't until Sirius brings up what Lily would want - he's happy to engage in a bit of emotional blackmail if it means Harry's safe - that Snape's face twists into a disconcertingly familiar sneer but gives a short nod. Sirius hates how comforting it is: Snape's face is different but that look is an anchor in this new time and space where nothing feels quite real.

Sirius hasn't been cleared for regular life yet, isn't ready to be responsible for another human being, let alone Harry, can't imagine dealing with his new lordship on top of everything, so he digs up his best friend's will (and he can't even look at James' ugly penmanship without bursting into tears) and hands it to Andromeda to handle - thanks every star in and out of the Black family's preferred constellations his beautiful, kind, kind of scary cousin who's able to go be the adult he should be - and learns that Snape is the only other living name on the will.

Snape.

Sirius grits his teeth, reminds himself about thirty times an hour that it'll only be for a month or two while he completes his rehabilitation, and signs the paperwork. At least Harry isn't with the Dursley's.

Andromeda convinces him - cajoles him then demands it actually- to visit with Harry every day. She says it's good for his health and - barring the way he chucked up three times the morning before the first meeting from nerves - he can't disagree. Snape's sitting room is packed with books and Sirius can't quite get comfortable with Snape behind him at the small desk as he tries to get to know this Harry.

Because this Harry is a stranger. This Harry is painfully polite and shy and doesn't quite know how to interact with him at first but when Sirius jumps up to get them some water and trips over the curling edge of Snape's rug he gasps then stifles a giggle over the ridiculous Superman pose Sirius had to throw out to save himself from a broken nose. Something in Sirius relaxes.

It'll be okay. Harry will be okay.

The days pass faster now. He sees himself filling out in the mirror. He feels like he fits inside his skin again. And he notices how Harry's health seems to mirror his. The child looks less fearful and more fearless. Snape is perfunctory but fair to both of them. It feels like stability and Sirius can't help but crave it sometimes. The three of them take little walks in the magically expanded backyard and Harry points out which plants he learned about, which ones are yummy, which ones "Sev'rus" told him to never touch. He begins to grab Sirius' hand, pull on Snape's trouser leg, ask for cuddles and snacks and his smile blossoms.

Sirius' heart hurts when he thinks about how James and Lily will never see this. He's still glad they never saw how he was on that first day when they took him back, though. Later, when Harry is washing his hands for lunch out back, Sirius hesitates then abruptly turns and offers his hand to Snape.

"Sirius," he says.

Snape, in that slightly infuriating way he has, slowly turns his head to observe Sirius' hand then redirects to stare at Sirius' face.

"I am aware," he intones like the judgemental berk he can be.

Sirius huffs. "Call me Sirius. I know this was supposed to be a short term placement until I'm released but it's clear Harry adores you."

Snape looks slightly shocked and discomforted by the thought. Sirius grins. He knows how Snape works now.

"He likes you. Merlin, I think I like you these days. You're clearly good for him. I know-" Sirius hesitates then tries again, "I know we don't have a great history but I'd like to try to get along. For Harry, I mean."

Snape's face is blank and Sirius doesn't know where or how to start. "Andromeda says I can start making plans. To bring Harry to live with me," he tries.

The outside of Snape's eyebrow has the most impressive micro twitch and Sirius feels like he's already stepped in it. "I, erm, I'm not ready, though. And I don't think Harry is either."

Snape's eyebrow smooths out again.

Do you," Sirius breaks off and tries again. "Would you consider a type of joint custody?"

Snape can't contain his shock this time, blinking rapidly, his eyebrows drawing together. "I beg your pardon?"

Sirius grins at his loss of composure, then wonders why he's so pleased about it. Merlin he's a Gryffindor. This subtlety stuff isn't for him "Co-parent with me. For Harry. I won't take you away from him. He trusts you. I trust you."

Snape's mouth falls open and Sirius is momentarily distracted by what looks like silver tooth. Is that some of the muggle densisty stuff that he learned about in Muggle Studies? Do they pour molten metal int-

"Severus, then." Snape cuts off that darting thought. "Call me Severus," and the hand that reaches out to Sirius is warm and real and Sirius knows he's touched Sna- Severus (pushed, maybe shoved) but it's new and a little bit exciting and entirely too fast to fully savor when Severus reclaims his hand.

The post discussed that James embodies the stag because stags are known to relentlessly pursue a doe for weeks until the doe gives in and accepts him. It said that Lily could have developed a doe independent to James because she obviously enjoyed the relentless chase for years and was attracted to him enough to wave away the harassment and bullying. Severus could have developed his doe independently because he would need someone to pursue him relentlessly until they managed to dismantle his walls and convince him he was desirable (high key fantastic thought here IMO).

Here's where the Severitus comes in. What if Harry develops as a young stag because of his behavior once he and Severus settle into their new family dynamic? Deer childhood is about 2 years. In the beginning, called the hiding phase, fawn are shy and hide from everything for safety and Harry reflects this in how he approaches Severus - concealing his true self, finding ways to camouflage himself (playing nearly silently, hiding under furniture, and refusing to leave the house). Then, during the dependency phase, as he begins to feel more comfortable and less vulnerable, he begins to stand at Severus' side, following him and asking for more and more attention and care (and maybe I'm imagining an adorable preschooler reaching out and grabbing a fistful of Severus' cape when they go out, clinging to the back of his legs and peering up at anyone who approaches, beginning to ask for seconds for some foods like mashed potatoes. He really likes mashed potatoes). Then comes his Hogwarts years, or the rutting season, when Severus can't devote his full attention towards Harry because a new professor is doggedly flirting with him and he has hundreds of students to look after, begins pushing Harry away and encouraging him to find some independence and Harry starts his feud with Malfoy, starts getting into trouble as he begins his first real foray into wider social interactions and begins to butt heads with other boys (clumsily attempting Severus and Lucius's double wordplay and Severus and Dumbledore's subtle games of wits). Finally, as puberty rages and starts to settle in the separation phase, Harry begins to step away, spend more time with his friends, confident in his place in the world (going to pubs or clubbing with his randy friends and playing wingman or seeking out someone for himself as young bucks do).

The fact that Jasper feels like he's gained a father figure in his 50's. Wolf red's little speech about how he always thought Jasper as his own son and listed his attendance in all of Jasper's milestones.