Angel's Sanctuary

Another.

Occasionally they happen more fiercely than the last. Nightmares ripping at his soul, like the torment of a Dementor upon one already broken.

Sometimes you have to gently wake him up – other times the nightmare will do it for him.

Sometimes he wept quietly within his clammy hands, shaking like a stray cat trapped outside in a snowstorm. Sometimes he sobbed so violently, that she feared the Silencing Charms upon his quarters may shatter from the pain wailing from him. Sometimes he would be so numb to what he had been cruelly taunted with, that he would become a hollow shell of the man he was, silent and mute in the coming days. His eyes gloss over, lost, and empty.

But every time that happened, you were always there. Although you were a heavy sleeper, you were sensitive to him. His movements, his murmurs, his cries. You grew so accustomed to his presence since you were together, that it was easy to react accordingly to his needs. You stirred and awoke whenever he did, and through whatever memory haunted him, you held him dearly as if the moment you let go, he would crumble like sand within your grasp.

There were some nights where you had to drag him into the bath to allow the cool water to drain away the pools of sweat and agony. He wept as you gently ran the damp cloth over his shaken, pale skin, littered with scars no man of his age should have to bear.

He was a man with few words, rendered speechless as his voice was ripped from him as he tried his best to process old pain, but you knew he was grateful by the way his dark eyes welled with tears, looking up at your bright, hopeful ones. He needed you, despite him not wanting you to see him in that state.

He needed you. A man who usually carried himself with such dignity and command, faltered when you were there. There was never any judgement or impatience with him. You remained gentle with him, soothing him through that visceral pain he only ever dared to expose when he was with you. His source of comfort.

He trusted you, and you always reassured him that you’d never leave him while his pain resurfaced. Sweet, kind words whispered in his moments of terror, soothed him like a child scared of the dark. With you, he was able to confront those fears and breathe in a new life when his instructed breaths calmed his erratic mind.

It was devastating to think no one else knew how difficult his nights could be because he masked it so well in the public eye, but you were grateful to be there for him without a second thought.

With you, he felt safe - his light in the dark.

"...Sev'us?"

(Okay, so I couldn't decide if I wanted this to be funny or angsty, so...imagine what you will lol)

Thank you @doex2 and everyone who got me to 4000 reblogs!

"...Sev'us?"

(Okay, so I couldn't decide if I wanted this to be funny or angsty, so...imagine what you will lol)

"...Sev'us?"

(Okay, so I couldn't decide if I wanted this to be funny or angsty, so...imagine what you will lol)

Title: Only the dust remains.

Words: 278

Pairing: Snily (Severus x Lily).

Rating: Mature. Themes of death.

Severus laments on Lily's death.

Your smile is already beginning to fade from my memory.

Time and time again I requested for Albus to allow me his pensieve, but he forbade me to use it.

He remained wise. Yet I, foolish.

Time passed and your face now only a blur. The pain of losing what once gave light, now stole away the last warmth of my being.

I failed you. And yet I did the best I could.

...Or at least, I assumed I did.

Despairingly.

The haunting image of your blood-stained face remained embedded into my nightmares. I didn't need to see the light leave your eyes, for me to know how The Dark Lord left you.

Although I was not there that defining night, I felt like I was. Like a lingering ghost, dulled to reality. I felt like I saw everything. Your screams. The blood cast across the soft yellow walls of your sons bedroom, painted with innocent clouds. The way your hair clumped with blood; clinging to your navy nightdress.

The warmth in your eyes ebbed away, leaving those vibrant greens muted and so very distant to the waking world.

...Because I saw what was left of the abode. The terror seeped deep into those walls. The echo of your voice carried by the winds that found their way through the shattered windows.

That image, haunts me. What I was unable to do, destroys me.

...What I did - that desperate slip of the tounge - that will always be my end.

Living with that fatal mistake, I damned you.

And that, no matter what I do now, I could never forgive myself for.

*the series is 560k words long atm and it’s STILL technically pre-severitus. I say it’s a severitus series tho because someone’s gotta tell Harry and Snape they’re not family yet since they sure act like they already are*

Fic 1 summer of fourth book What a Summer! is 62k long and the most lighthearted of the series, with some post-nightmare comfort and brewing potions practice.

Fic 2 semester of fourth book What a Semester! is 93k and a touch angsty since Harry has to ask for Snape’s support to get through the Triwizard Tournament.

Fic 3 semester of fifth book What a Step Back (after two steps forwards) is 226k and where Harry’s PTSD and disordered eating gets developed, and Occlumency is introduced as expected for a fifth book fic.

Fic 4 summer and semester of sixth book What a Sanctuary (for the sceleratus) is 180k long so far and currently updating, and it’s got a lot of domestic scenes as well as more angst and yearning as Harry FINALLY starts to realize that he wants Snape to be his guardian for real.

If you’re feeling like a good long slow burn severitus series to read, then do check out What a Series! I like to write what I like to read, and that is a deliciously, agonizingly slow burn :}