#fics*

The universe hates you.

The universe fucking hates you.

It has to hate you because there’s no other explanation for this ridiculous shitutation that you’ve found yourself in.

On one hand, your husband didn’t leave you to start a new life with someone else.

Well… that may be up for debate for now.

But it certainly wasn’t intentional. So while it’s not what you were thinking, it’s still pretty bad.

Dr. Yaga has been droning on about his condition and you know that what he’s saying is important, but you kind of zoned out not too long after giving his diagnosis.

Before you ask him to repeat everything, you just have one question, “how much time has he lost?” You hate to make this about you, but you’re desperate to know.

“I’m not sure, that’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself as time goes on. The more time you spend with him, the more things like that will come into focus.” That makes sense but you really wish he just said something like, "it's only the last ten years” because that would give you more of a starting point as far as helping him goes. “And what should I do to help him with everything?” You don’t even know how to phrase what you want to ask.

“There’s a few things that you can do to help. But the most important thing is to have a lot of patience and don’t take it personal if he doesn’t remember something. Second, if you had a routine before, I would suggest getting back into it now. Returning to routines has been proven to be helpful versus going completely off the books hoping for the best. Obviously, returning to work may not be the first option right now. But getting back into other patterns can help.” Okay, reasonable.

“Making little notes or reminders and keeping them around the home can also be helpful in forming new memories which may also help in unlocking older ones. At the very least, it doesn’t hurt. I’ve also been told by previous patients that memory games with photos or notes can help. Just be patient, supportive, and explain whatever is needed in an easily digestible way. But don’t overwhelm him with too much at one time,” he pauses to let you take all of that in.

“Do you know how long it’ll take for everything to come back to him?” You have a feeling that you already know how he’s going to answer that but you can’t help but ask. “There’s no way to determine exactly how long that will take.” You were right. “But we will run some tests for his migraines to see if there’s any underlying damage and that will help us figure out how severe his condition could be.” You really hope it’s not worse than it already sounds. “As his wife, we would like you to fill out some paperwork though. It seems he was recognized by some of the staff, but since he hasn’t been admitted here before, we don’t have anything on file for him, not even his name at this point. So I’ll go get that and then we’ll take it from there.” After saying that, he walks out of the room.

You just stand there, frozen, still facing the door. It’s awkward, it’s uncomfortable, and you don’t even know how to speak to your husband seeing as he doesn’t even remember that he is one. That’s especially evident based on the model who just walked out of the room.

But you don’t have to break the ice because Satoru does it for you, “so, we’re married?”

You turn to look at him and ‘yes’ is all you say.

He nods his head and says ‘nice’ with a smirk.

Yeah, that’s your husband.

“When did we get married? How’d we meet?” For some reason you thought him finding that out would cause him to shut down but you’re relieved that it hasn’t.

“Uhhh, we met in high school, through mutual friends, and we stayed friends for a couple of years before we started dating. Then we were in a relationship for two years before getting married on Halloween. Our five year anniversary just passed.” You’re trying to give him the bare bones version of the start of your relationship. The last thing you want to do is overload him or cause problems with the people he needs to be re-introduced to.

“Halloween huh?”

“You actually suggested it. I wanted to wear a black dress and make it goth, so you said we should just do it on Halloween and everyone can get dressed up however they want to.” It was actually incredible seeing everyone showing up in costume so needless to say, he had the right idea.

“You wanted a goth wedding but you’re standing there in head to toe light blue?”

“You got me this outfit.” He looks so proud after you say that.

“I have good taste,” he replies with an air of confidence.

“Well, you married me, so obviously.” Now it’s your turn to wear a smirk. You both chuckle and so far, so good.

Just when things are getting comfortable, a nurse walks in with a clipboard holding all the paperwork that you need to fill out. You take it from her and then sit down on a chair in his room to begin filling it out. You wanted to ask him if he knows the answers to anything on it but seeing as they’re having you do it, that’s probably a no. But you’re curious so you’re going to probe a little bit.

“I don’t want to pressure you, but is there anything that you can say you definitely remember?”

“I wouldn’t say it’s anything real specific. I feel like I can vaguely remember faces and maybe quick flashes of events. Some things I think I might remember if they were put in front of me.”

You give him a break before asking anything else. You don’t want to make him feel bad for something that’s not his fault.

As you start filling out the usual information on his paperwork, you get to his birthday and realize that it just passed! Maybe it’s a good idea to hold off on that information unless he asks you. Maybe you can make it up to him and have a late birthday party / welcome home party when he’s discharged. You also have to find a time to re-announce your pregnancy but you’ll probably hold off on that one as long as you can.

“Are we… happy?” He asks in a voice barely above a whisper.

Of all the questions he could have asked you, that’s not one you thought would be on the list.

“Yes. Very happy. Why?” On one hand you want to know who the hell that woman was. But on the other hand, you don’t know if you can handle the roller coaster of emotions that would come with a devastating admission.

“It’s just,” he pauses again and now you’re getting really nervous. “Why haven’t I seen you until… today?”

You didn’t want to overwhelm him with information today but there’s probably no way around it now, unless you lie. And you can’t lie to someone who already doesn’t know what the hell is going on. It could jeopardize any progress he makes.

“Well, nobody knew where you were, Satoru.”

A look that you can only classify as ‘what the fuck are you talking about’ flashes across his face before he asks, “what does that mean nobody knew where I was?”

“Uhm, you went missing a little while ago. Today is the first time anyone has been able to find you.” You really hate giving him such a basic explanation but this is probably a conversation better suited for the two of you with the detectives.

“How long?”

“Just under six weeks.”

His brows raise, his eyes widen, and his jaw drops open as you probably knew it would. But this isn’t something that you can lie about. And if you want to establish trust with him, you can’t push things off either. Instead of speaking, he lays back in bed and just looks at the ceiling.

You don’t know what to say, so you go back to finishing all this paperwork before the nurse comes in to retrieve it.

You can’t imagine what’s going on in his head. You don’t even know exactly where his memory starts or with you. And to learn that you have people in your life who missed you but you didn’t even know and probably had no way to find out, it has to be the worst thing.

After a few more minutes of silence, you decide to try speaking to him again, “Satoru? Are you okay?” Probably a stupid question, but you don’t want him to shut down completely.

“I don’t know how to answer that,” is all he says.

You’re both sitting there in that awkward and uncomfortable silence when you feel your phone vibrate. You pull it out of your coat pocket and see that it’s a text from Kento.

Kento: You’ve been gone for a while. Is everything okay?

You; There’s a lot to talk about. Did Utahime and Yu show up yet?

Kento: A few minutes ago. So, is it him?

You: Kind of.

“Hot date?”

“Huh?” You’re not sure if he really said that or if it’s just what you heard. He points at your phone and you know that he really just decided to start teasing out of nowhere. Thank god. That’s so him.

“No. Our friends came with me to see if it was really you, they just wanna know what’s going on.”

“Really?” He looks stunned. But why? What was he being told over this time period? Clearly he was with other people so what the hell is going on?

“Yeah, everyone was really excited to see if you were here. I would have brought them up with me but, you know, doctor’s rules and all.”

Just as he’s about to say something else, the door to his room opens up and a nurse walks in.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I have to steal him away to start his tests. You can wait here if you want, but it’s probably going to take a while,” she says in a pretty upbeat tone. It’s nice considering most women seeing you with Satoru start to act like it’s a competition for attention instead of going about their day.

“That’s fine, I’ll head out. I also don’t want to continue to pester him while he’s getting all of this done.” Before leaving, you walk over to Satoru to say goodbye for the day, “I’ll see you tomorrow, if that’s okay?”

“Of course it is, why wouldn’t it be? Aren’t you my wife? I’m not gonna ban you from coming to see me.” Fuck, that’s a relief.

“I just… I know you’re going through a lot and don’t want you to feel overwhelmed or pressured or anything like that.” That’s the nicest way you can say ‘I don’t want you to feel obligated to love me again.’

He seems to understand how you’re feeling though and wastes no time in dispelling those fears, “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Especially if you show up in another outfit like that.” This fucking guy.

“I’ll see what I can do,” is all you say before turning around and walking out the door.

Once outside his room, you stand outside for a minute to take a deep breath before making a quick trek to the elevator at the opposite end of the hallway.

Out of all the possibilities that were running through your head while he was missing, this was not one of them. There were two theories that kept coming and going. One, it wasn’t him on the surveillance footage and there was no chance of him coming home. And two, it was him and he didn’t care to stay hidden because he had an affair and moved to go start a new life with someone in the most cowardly way possible.

Him coming home with no memory of at least the last ten years of his life was not something that ever occurred to you.

And not only that, but there was some random woman with him. Did he fall in love with someone else over the time he was gone? What the fuck is going on?

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

You’re back at your apartment after practically sprinting out of the hospital and then sitting in a very awkward silent car ride home. You didn’t want to break the news to your friends while you were still there since you knew that they wouldn’t be allowed to see him.

But now you’re sitting at your dining room table in the home that you and Satoru share trying to figure out how to break the news to them. There’s probably no easy way to do this so you may just have to rip the band-aid off as they say.

“So, what’s going on? Was it him?” Suguru asks you. Okay, so Kento didn’t relay your text message, maybe that’s a good thing. It probably would have resulted in a lot more confusion if he did.

“Yeah, it’s him. For the most part.” All eyes are on you and it’s very fucking uncomfortable. “I met his doctor and got his diagnosis and it may be difficult to deal with at first, so we have to be patient.”

Everyone is staring you down right now. You can’t really blame them seeing as they probably think you’re speaking in riddles. But if you’re being honest, you didn’t realize how much this situation affects everyone at this table. Everyone here has known Satoru for as long as you have with the exception of Suguru who’s actually known him since childhood.

And now that you’re sitting here, stalling when it comes to breaking the news to them, you realize that you’re not the only one who may feel like they’re losing something. “Difficult, in what way?”

“I met his neurologist and he diagnosed him with post-traumatic amnesia.” That’s all you say. You have a feeling nobody is going to believe you, so you want them to work that out for themselves first. After a few seconds of silence, everyone except for Kento starts laughing. You had a feeling that this was one of his theories he was keeping to himself and by the look on his face, this was confirmation. As for the rest of the group, they clearly think you’re telling a joke even though you gave no indication of such a thing.

It’s Utahime who stops laughing first when she sees the look on your face, “you’re not kidding, are you?”

“Nope.”

Everyone stops and just looks at each other as if it’s the craziest thing they’ve ever heard.

“How did this happen?”

“Well, he did suffer blunt force to his head. It’s probably from that.”

“This explains his new sense of fashion and that shitty haircut,” Suguru couldn’t wait to bust that one out. But you can’t help but giggle a little bit after he says that because Satoru’s short hair is so fucking weird to you. It looks like he just joined the military and his head looks so big.

“How much does he remember?” Kento inquires.

“We don’t know yet. He didn’t recognize me when I walked into his hospital room.” There’s an audible gasp after those words leave your lips. “I figure that when we visit him, we can just go a couple at a time to try to see who he may remember in order to estimate how much time he lost.”

Everyone seems to be in agreement with that plan. Unfortunately, there’s really no other option. You just really hope that he didn’t lose his entire life even if he doesn’t remember you.

But now, you have to break the rest of the news.

“There’s one more thing that I have to tell you guys,” you pause to take a breath before continuing. “When I got to his hospital room, there was another woman there.”

You look around and all your friends have pure rage in their faces. You honestly didn’t think that’d be the thing that pissed them off more.

“Are you sure she wasn’t a nurse?” Oh Kento, always the voice of reason.

“She looked like a model and clearly wasn’t part of the staff. She also alluded to being Satoru’s girlfriend so there’s that.”

You flinch as you hear a bang on the table next to you. You look over and see that it’s Choso, the quietest one in the group.

You explain the rest of the situation with Mei, your new adversary if you were making an educated guess. Everybody’s face shifts from anger, to being modified, to being sad, to being full of rage again.

“Is it really fair to hold it against him though? I mean, he has no idea what’s going on with himself, let alone relationships with anyone else.” You’re trying to talk down your friends because you don’t want them all showing up tomorrow spewing nothing but negativity. That won’t help the situation in any way.

“So… you’re fine with another woman coming in and stealing your husband while you’re sitting at home pregnant with his child?” Damn Utahime.

“No, of course not. But he has no idea what’s going on so I don’t want to blame him for that. It’s not like he left me for Mei, he had no idea I existed.” You knew you were going to have to do a lot of defending, but you are a little surprised at how upset everyone seems.

“Mei? Did she look like this?” Yu pulls out his phone and shows you a picture. Damn, it’s her.

“How did you instantly know who I was talking about?” Does everyone know this woman except for you? “Is she famous or something?”

“She’s a social media influencer,” he replies.

“Okay, so she’s not famous.”

“Maybe not technically, but she has a pretty decent following. She’s constantly getting dressed up, going out, taking pictures, all the things that those people do.” He seems to be pretty familiar with this woman.

Ugh, you already know that instead of sleeping, you’ll spend hours looking at this woman’s social media wondering ‘why her?’ You never thought you’d be put in this position and it fucking sucks.

Everyone else starts pulling out their phones and looking her up as well. One person is on Instagram, another is on TikTok, etc. You didn’t feel like doing the same so you just cheat by sneaking glances at the phones next to you.

“Why didn’t Satoru know that he was missing?” Kento asks the room.

“He did lose his phone, so it’s not like he was posting on his own accounts,” Suguru responds.

“I know that. But this woman makes a living off of social media, a place where a lot of awareness was raised for his case. If he was with her, how did he not find out?”

It’s a good question and it’s one you’ve been wondering yourself.

Was she a part of whatever happened to him? Or did she just find someone in a vulnerable state and decide to take advantage of them? Unfortunately, these aren’t answers you could get from Satoru and you doubt that she’d admit to being such a miserable bitch.

“When is he allowed to have more visitors?”

“I think as long as we don’t show up with too many people at a time, it might be okay to continue going tomorrow. I wanna stop by early to take him food and drop off the bag that’s still in Kento’s trunk.” Even though the situation is incredibly frustrating, you still want him to be comfortable. You’re not going to abandon your husband for something that’s not technically his fault.

“I think Suguru should go with you tomorrow.” Oh Kento, always has a plan.

“Why is that?”

“We don’t have any idea as to where his memory is at. Suguru is the only one at this table that he’s known since childhood and everybody else sitting here, he met when he met you. If you go with him tomorrow, it’ll help us find out how much he knows and how to help him. Plus, we don’t want to have too many people around all the time and completely overstimulate him.” Fair point.

“I’m gonna start working on a photo album!” Yu shouts with pure excitement in his voice.

The rest of the friend group starts brainstorming ways on how to help Satoru. Everyone wants to create their own photo album and include little descriptions with them to help him remember things. If it wasn’t so devastating, it would be super cute.

As the night goes on, your friends slowly start to leave one by one, with the exception of Choso who has practically moved in at this point.

Choso decided to take over the cleaning that he once again, will not let you help with. So, you decide to go to your room and make a phone call.

You haven’t spoken to either of the detectives on Satoru’s case in a couple of days and since they haven’t called you, you’re assuming that they don’t know that he’s been found. You know that they have to confirm that it’s him regardless, but you don’t want them to drop too many bombs on him in one day. So you’re going to call them first and give them a heads up on the situation.

You pull your phone out of your purse and start searching through your contacts for their numbers. You decide to call Usami since he’s the one who you’ve had the most contact with since all of this started.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. And you remember how bad your phone anxiety is. Lame.

By the fourth ring, you hear a man answer the phone, “Detective Usami speaking.”

“Uh, hi. This is Mrs. Gojo.” You feel so fucking awkward on the phone and you can’t understand why.

“Yes, I recognize the number. Is everything alright?”

“I just wanted to let you know that my husband has been found.”

There’s silence for a few moments and you start to wonder if you’ve been put on hold or hung up on.

But finally, he responds, “are you certain that it's him?”

“I spoke with him in the hospital this afternoon.”

“That’s interesting. We had a lead as to where he was but we didn’t want to get your hopes up before we confirmed it. I apologize.”

“Ohh it’s okay! I have a friend who works there so that’s how I found out. I know that you still have to verify his welfare in person, but I wanted to let you know a little bit about what I learned.”

You spend a few minutes on the phone explaining everything that you’ve learned today. You tell him exactly how you found him and what his condition is. He told you that they’ll still be showing up to meet him and make sure he’s okay. But that they’ll hold off on the hard hitting questioning until he heals up a little more. Since he doesn’t seem to know anything, they don’t see the point in potentially traumatizing him when they have a better chance solving the case without him at this point.

You eventually get off the phone and finish up your night time routine before climbing into bed. You try to distract yourself by putting something silly on the tv but your mind just won’t let you rest. You pull your phone back out and start browsing through Mei’s social media accounts.

She is attractive, you won’t deny that. But what else does she have going for her? Even though both you and Satoru have social media accounts, you don’t make it a point to post constantly. You like to share photos, but neither of you let it run your life. He used to laugh at people who acted like their life was over if they missed a day of posting. And now what? He’s in a relationship or a situationship with someone like her?

But you can’t stop thinking about what Kento said earlier, if he’s been with her, and she’s introducing herself as his girlfriend, where the hell is he in these posts about her life? You wouldn’t think too much of it if she didn’t post other friends up and down her accounts.

Fuck. You’re tired.

“Put your phone away before you start asking yourself ‘that’ question,” you hear behind you, not even noticing that Choso entered the room until he spoke.

“What question?”

“The ‘what does she have that I don’t’ question. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, you’re fucking funny, and the two of you have a hell of a lot in common. I think it’s safe to say more than them. You just need to spend more time together so that he can see that.”

You put your phone away and lay back in bed because he’s right. You were starting to let yourself get to that line of questioning and it’s not healthy. You’re literally carrying this man’s baby, you can’t allow those negative feelings to take over ever, but especially not right now.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

You look good. Real good.

You’re wearing a short, black, silk, mini slip dress. You paired it with a black faux fur coat and a pair of strappy heels. And of course, a pair of black thigh highs which he always loses it over.

You did your makeup with a very dramatic smokey eye that he always liked and that plumper lip gloss that he’d end up smearing not even five minutes after you put it on. You tied your hair up into an intentional messy bun and threw in a couple sparkly clips to pop amongst all the black.

Nevermind, you don’t look good. You look fucking incredible. .

You do a once over in the mirror to make sure everything is in place, and then you finally leave your bedroom to meet your friends in the kitchen.

The only person who’s coming with you today is Suguru so you don’t want to have him waiting on you too long.

But Kento still decided to come over because you live closer to the hospital and he wants to be closer in case you need a shoulder to lean on.

“Woooohhhh! Can you be classified as a MILF before you have the baby?”

“Suguru!” He would say something like that.

“Ready to go?”

“Yes sir. But we still have to stop off to pick up Satoru’s food.” You know that hospital food isn’t exactly gourmet, so you decided to order from one of his favorite places and take it with you when you go.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. We’ll get his food so he can get the precious princess treatment,” Suguru says with a sigh. He knows you mean well, but he’s still upset about the Mei news on top of everything else. “Shouldn’t his ‘girlfriend’ be bringing him food?” See. There it is.

“Suguru,” Kento scolds. But honestly, he’s kinda right.

You don’t want to make it a whole big thing so you bid farewell to your friends and then you make your way out.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Alright, maybe you overdid it with the food. He likes a lot of stuff on this menu so you got a few appetizers and entrees, but then made the choice to get one of each of the sweets. Not only do you have two bags of food, but you have two boxes of cupcakes, cookies, cake pops, fruit tarts, all the stuff you expect to see in a bakery. Thank goodness for your strong friend who wants to do all the heavy lifting for you.

“Suguru, are you really going to be able to carry all the food and his bag? I can hold stuff you know. I’m pregnant. My arms didn’t fall off.”

Once again, he declines. As much as you want to help out, you’re not going to push him on it. If he wants to grab all the bags and boxes, you’ll do the rest. You get his keys and lock the car up before you two start to make your way into the hospital.

You see that it’s only Nobara sitting at the reception desk and it makes you feel so much better that she’s the one greeting you today. You get the visitor's stickers and then start making your way to Satoru’s room.

Once you enter the elevator and the doors close, Suguru asks you if you’re nervous. If you’re being completely honest with yourself, you are. But you keep trying to push those feelings down because they are going to cause more harm than good.

“Are you nervous?” You ask him.

“Ehhh, not as much as the others probably are. I am a little annoyed that he doesn’t remember making my life a living hell when he wanted to date you. But it is what it is, I guess.”

Before you know it, you’re standing outside of Satoru’s door and that’s when the nerves really kick in. You’re just really hoping that he’s the only one on the other side. You knock but this time, you don’t hear anyone answer. You slowly open the door and walk inside to see Satoru sleeping, in his bed, alone. Thank fucking goodness.

You and Suguru do your best to quietly enter his room and put his things away without disturbing him. But it’s irrelevant because when you’re helping Suguru place the food bags down, you hear Satoru call your name and it melts your heart. At least he remembers that.

“Heyyy, sorry to wake you up.” You apologize profusely because being here all the time must be exhausting and you know you hate when someone interrupts your sleep.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve been drifting in and out for the past hour because I’ve been so bored.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but we have stuff for you. Are you hungry?”

Satoru doesn’t respond at first. He just looks you up and down with his mouth agape and hunger in his eyes before finally saying, “famished.”

This dress was such a good investment.

“Uh Suguru, could you help me set up everything for him?” After saying that, you hear Satoru repeat ‘Suguru’ in a voice barely above a whisper. Did that trigger something? You hope so.

As you’re setting up the table and bringing the bags over, you’re startled when you hear your husband yell out “you!” while pointing at his best friend.

“Do you remember me?” He asks him.

“I think I remember your face, although the romance novel cover hair threw me off.” Okay, so Satoru still has jokes.

“Better than your shitty wannabe drill sergeant haircut you have right now.” These fucking guys.

“What’s wrong with my hair?!” Satoru asks with a pout.

“Dude, we don’t have all day for me to list everything that’s wrong with it.” Of all the conversations they could have had for the first time, you didn’t expect this to be it.

“Anyway,” you take the time to interrupt them before this gets out of hand. “I got a few of your favorites from the restaurant down the street from our home. I also got one of everything on the dessert menu.”

“Damn. It takes one hell of a sweet tooth to eat all that. Do I really eat that much?” That’s surprising.

“You started eating sweets like crazy saying that it helped you focus, and now you just can’t stop,” you tell him with a chuckle.

You take a seat in the chair on one side of his bed while Suguru sits in the one on the opposite side.

“So, how have you been, dumbass?” Fucking Suguru.

“I don’t remember you being such a bully,” Satoru says but you can tell he’s not taking it seriously.

“Yeah but it seems like you don’t remember everything.” Fucking hell. “What do you remember?” Okay, right into it then.

“I remember something about suits and a tree. Everything is just really fuzzy. It feels like one of those things where you don’t remember someone’s name or face too much, but if you see it or hear it, it clicks. Besides that, I just see flashes of you as a kid, I think.”

Okay, that’s good to know. That means that creating albums and telling him stories may help him out.

While you’re lost in thought, Suguru explains what Satoru was alluding to, “that sounds like the night of homecoming our freshman year. We decided to ditch early and have a few drinks of some really cheap Vodka in a treehouse. But, you can’t hold your liquor to save your life, so I had to carry you on my back down the street to get you food because you kept complaining that you were going to die even though you only had two shots.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. Two shots? That makes you think of that scene in Fun with Dick and Jane when Jim Carrey was dancing on a table and then the bartender revealed that he only had half a beer. You don’t drink either so you might have the same reaction, but damn.

“Anyway, your wife brought you stuff.”

“More stuff? You spoil me, but I’m not complaining.” Yeah, that’s still your husband.

“I’m complaining, but hey, she loves you and wants your stay to be comfortable or something,” Suguru dramatically explains.

You walk around his bed to the other side of the room to get the weekend bag with everything you packed.

“I put in a few sweaters that you always like wearing around the house,” you start pulling things out to show him as you explain everything. “I also threw in a blanket in case the ones here aren’t that comfortable. I packed you a bag of snacks and got you a new phone since yours is destroyed. I restored it using your account so that it’s exactly the same as the one you had before.” You hand that over to him immediately. Since he said he was bored, maybe this will help out.

“You didn't have to do all of this, but thank you,” he says with a bit of sauce on the side of his mouth. He’s so fucking cute that you can barely stand it.

“I took the passcode off so that you didn’t have to worry about it, but you can change that back whenever you want to.” You move back over to your seat on the other side of his bed.

He picks the phone up and starts going through it right away. You’re a little nervous yourself because you don’t know exactly what’s in there. While you two have always had each other's passcodes, you always made a point to respect your partner's privacy and you never went through his phone. You know he has a lot of albums of the two of you because you did a quick little browse to make sure stuff loaded in, but that’s about it.

“When was this?” He turns his phone over to show you the album he’s inquiring about.

“That was this past summer. We went out to the lake to feed the ducks and then we decided to just hang out and have a little impromptu picnic while we were there. There’s food trucks in the area so we picked stuff up and hung out for a bit.”

You remember that day very well. After the ducks no longer found you interesting, Satoru pulled a blanket over the two of you and decided to bury his fingers inside of you the first chance he got. Luckily, there was nobody else in your area to witness such an act. But you really hope that there’s no videos of it in there. He does like to record everything and that makes you a little nervous.

You look back up at Satoru and see him with rosy cheeks staring at his phone and you can only guess what he came across in what, a minute and a half?

“Everything okay?” You don’t want Suguru to potentially witness your porn but you wanna know what he’s staring at.

Satoru doesn’t say anything, he just turns his phone around and shows you a picture. It’s you, bent over, on your hands and knees while he lifts up your skirt and takes a picture of your panties. Honestly, it’s pretty tame compared to what else is probably in there.

“Oh, that?” You giggle and refrain from saying anything else.

That’s how the rest of your visit with Satoru goes. He goes through the various albums and asks you to tell him about the pictures he comes across. It makes you feel good to know that he’s trying without you even asking him to.

Suguru also shows him a bunch of stuff on his phone and gives him the stories of your matching tattoos. Satoru was stunned to learn that you also have the heart tattoo but you think it helped him see just how close you two are.

And he started absolutely demolishing the desserts. Since he made it sound like he hasn’t had anything, you were wondering if he no longer liked them. But that’s clearly not the case. Maybe whoever he was staying with just didn’t keep those things in their home.

You didn’t ask any questions about what happened and who he’s been with for the past few weeks. You wanted today to be a positive visit where you taught him more about his past and less about you interrogating him to get answers for yourself. You also know that the detectives should be coming by at some point and you’ll leave them to do the good cop bad cop thing seeing as they actually are the cops.

“Well, Suguru and I are going to be heading out now because he has to take me to a doctor’s appointment.”

All the color drains from Satoru’s face right after those words leave your lips. “Are you okay?”

You don’t want him to worry but it makes you feel good to know that he cares.

“I’m fine, it’s just a checkup. Nothing to worry about. Can I come see you tomorrow?”

“You can come on me anytime.” He freezes before correcting himself, “I mean, you can come see me anytime you want.”

You giggle and lean in to give him a hug and you can hear how deeply he breathes you in. Ugh, he’s so hot.

“I’m not gonna press my tits up against you so I’ll just see you later,” Suguru says before waving and walking towards the door.

You follow Suguru out the door and let out a breath you feel like you’ve been holding in since you got there. All in all, today was a good day. And most importantly, no Mei today.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

“How’d it go?” Kento asks after you walk in and have a seat on the couch.

“It was good. Baby’s healthy, about the size of a turnip.”

“Hmmm. And how was the visit with your husband?”

“I think it went well. He asked Suguru and I a lot of questions so I think that’s a good sign that he’s trying. But he’s a little different. He seemed shocked when he told him that he eats sweets like he’s trying to make sugar go out of business.” It seems like he just came back thinking it was opposite day and that’s bizarre. But who cares? You still have time to figure it out.

“Did you tell him about the pregnancy?”

“No. I wanted everything today to be as low stress as possible so I decided to save that for another visit depending on how things go when I return.“ A part of you wanted to do it today, but you don’t know how well that would have been received and you just didn’t feel like today was the right time.

Kento nods before getting up and walking into the kitchen to bring you back a plate of food. “I know you fed him, but I have a feeling that you didn’t take care of yourself yet.“ he pushed the plate and the utensils in front of you and motioned for you to start eating.

He’s right. Especially with the baby moving closer and closer to entering the world everyday, you need to take better care of yourself.

“When are you going back?”

“Tomorrow. I’m gonna take a photo album with me. I have one where there’s descriptions on the page opposite the picture so I think that’ll be good for him,” you say while taking a big bite of food. Kento filled this plate with steak and roasted potatoes. This man knows your weakness.

“I think I’ll go with you tomorrow, if that’s alright.”

“That’d be great, thank you.” You’re excited because you didn’t think he’d be so willing to go.

“Have the detectives spoken to him yet?”

“I think they’re supposed to go sometime today. Usami told me he’d let me know after they’d spoken to him.”

The two of you continue to sit in relative silence while you eat the rest of your lunch. If there’s one thing you can say about Kento, it’s that this man can cook his ass off.

Why is he single???

Just as you start wondering that, his phone rings.

“It’s one of the models I’m supposed to shoot this week, I have to take this.”

That’s right. Work-a-holic.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

A couple of days have passed and you’ve seen Satoru several times. The past few days have been very tiring so you don’t stay for too long when you see him. It’s usually you going as early in the day as you can and bringing him lunch, then you go back a few hours later and take him dinner about an hour before visiting hours shut down.

Being that you’re only seventeen weeks pregnant at this time, you’re not showing too much. But you still keep a coat on whenever you visit him because you’re not ready to drop that bomb on him until he comes home. You’d hate to tell him and then have to leave right after so that he’s alone with his thoughts all night.

The two of you have even been texting back and forth when he has questions about photos and videos on his phone, things you’ve done as a couple, or even questions about himself. He’s really been making an effort so you’ve been making sure that you’re always available to him.

And because of the fact that he didn’t know the volume on his phone was turned up, you know firsthand that he’s come across some of your more adult videos he filmed.

The detectives went to meet with him to confirm his welfare and ask him what he remembers, if anything. They gave him the bare minimum on what was going on with the investigation and asked him just enough to see if he remembered anything about his attack, which he didn't. They decided to give him a break until he seems comfortable back at home since they don’t get the vibe that his life is in immediate jeopardy.

Kento also started visiting him the day after your initial visit which resulted in him already being tired of seeing him. As soon as he walked in the room, Satoru apologized to him and told him that he doesn’t remember anything more than he didn’t yesterday which resulted in Kento having to explain that he’s not law enforcement on his case and he was actually his wedding photographer. For the rest of the visit, Satoru periodically made jokes about how they look like twins. Poor Kento.

You don’t ask them too many questions about their visits because you don’t want to pry. But Kento did tell you that Satoru said, “she married me?” Like he was in completely disbelief. And it resulted in Kento saying, “yes, and for the life of me, I still can’t understand why.” You wouldn’t expect any other response from him and you kind of love that even with everything going on, he still has that one-liner ready to go at a moment's notice.

Choso, Utahime, and Yu still haven’t been to the hospital though. Everyone decided that between testing and the few people already visiting him, any additional people may do more harm than good by completely confusing him.

But there is still one additional person who continues to see him, and that’s Mei.

The good thing is that you haven’t seen her as often. She’s usually coming as you’re going or going as you’re coming so there’s not really any interaction between the two of you. But it has definitely resulted in a bit of unspoken competition.

She wears perfume? You wear yours a spray stronger.

She wears heels and a dress? You wear higher heels and a tighter dress paired with the thigh highs that always has your husband losing your mind.

You haven’t seen her be too physically affectionate, in person, that is. You have seen her sitting on the side of his bed when you come into the room, but nothing more than that. But one day she did leave a lipstick mark on his cheek and you had to stop yourself from making sure that she was also admitted into said hospital.

That was a tough pill to swallow considering the fact that you’ve been trying to keep your distance and not be too physical with him because you don’t want him to feel like you’re being too pushy. You give him hugs when you arrive and before you leave, but you try not to do more than that. But it’s hard when you see another woman being completely comfortable with him to do whatever she wants while you end up on the sidelines watching your marriage basically crumble.

But throughout all of that, the biggest positive is that Satoru is coming home soon.

When you visited him earlier today, his doctor came in and informed you that he’d be discharged tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

After seven weeks of not being together, he’s gonna be able to come home. And he seemed really excited about it which made you even happier.

Because of the fact that he’ll be coming home tomorrow, you decided to skip the second visitation time today. You’re having Kento and Suguru pick up food for him which they promptly respond with, “you spoil him.”

So what? Maybe you do.

And you’re going to spoil him even more when he gets home.

You’re taking the rest of the night with Choso and Utahime to make everything comfortable for him. You’re washing all his sweaters that you’ve been sleeping in for the past seven weeks. You washed and changed the sheets on your bed but also the guest room in case he’s not ready to share a bed with a relative stranger yet. You’re fluffing all the pillows, polishing everything you can, you’re even scrubbing down all the walls.

You’re even working on a fancy two tier cake as a welcome home / belated birthday cake for the occasion. You’re not the most experienced cake decorator, but you can create that frosting drip effect. So you’re making a blue cake with white frosting dripping all around the top. You’re going to write ‘Welcome Home Satoru’ on the top and hope that it comes out looking nice.

Tomorrow morning, you’re going to set up all the party decorations. It’s not gonna be a big thing, just your closest friends. But you are going to have balloons, streamers, welcome home banners, and maybe confetti somewhere because it just makes it feel more festive.

So much to do. So little time.

“Didn’t you already dust all those photos?” You didn’t even hear Utahime enter the room but there she is.

“Probably, but I just want to make sure that everything is perfect for him.”

“Okay, but do you really think he’s going to inspect the picture frames?”

“Maybe not intentionally, but he may come over to look at the photos.” She’s right though, you are probably overdoing it.

“He’s been in the hospital for days, he’s just going to be happy that he’s coming home to a real home with a real bed,” she says while taking the feather duster from you.

“Maybe. But I don’t know how he was living with whoever before he ended up in the hospital. What if our home isn’t enough?”

“It will be. Because it’s yours.” You hope that she’s right. You’ve been in this place since he asked you to live with him so it holds a lot of memories.

Truth be told, you still don’t know too many details about where he was or who he was before he ended up in the hospital.

Suguru did ask him questions because even though you were reluctant to put him on the spot, he wasn’t. He wanted to know where he was, how he wasn’t found, and how apparently nobody else knew he was a missing person.

He didn’t press him for too many details, but he did learn a few things.

He was staying with Mei.

He did interact with other people while being there.

Mei was very forward with him about wanting a real relationship.

He wasn’t really surprised hearing those things, especially not the last one. She comes off as territorial seeing as she acts like his wife is the other woman in the relationship. But he was a bit concerned that he was apparently around someone with an active social circle but nobody knew what the hell was going on with him.

But then again, maybe they genuinely didn’t. That couple at the pharmacy didn’t know what was going on because they didn’t watch the news so maybe this isn’t some big thing, maybe it’s all just a coincidence.

You hear your cooking timer go off and rush into the kitchen to check the status of the cake. It still feels like you have so many things to do even though you’re practically done with everything except for that.

“How does it look?” Choso asks as he rummages through your refrigerator for something to drink.

“I think it needs a few more minutes. I hope it finishes soon so that I can add the frosting tonight.”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll help you with the rest if you need to go to bed.” Other people complain about being babied, but not you. While you’re excited for your husband to return, you’re also going to miss someone always being there to help you with things when you need them. Now you’re going to be the one doing all the work for the home and for Satoru.

You feel bad because you don’t want to leave him with the work for your husband, but you’re fucking exhausted. You’ve been up since early this morning getting ready to see Satoru and take him things. Then you ran to multiple stores getting stuff to have for him when he gets back home, and now you’ve been cleaning for hours. You’ve been tired for awhile, but you’ve been trying to not let it show.

“Go to bed. I see you making excuses in your head. But you’re tired and being pregnant is making it worse, go to bed. I’ll finish up here.” It’s like he can read your thoughts and for that, you’re grateful.

“I think I’m gonna head home and get some rest too. I gotta get this stuff ready for tomorrow for your loud ass husband.” Thanks Utahime.

“On the bright side, he may not remember who you are so he may not tease you as much,” you tell her and she fucking smiles. “Thanks for coming by and doing so much.” You give her a hug and she heads out the door.

You’re exhausted so you go to your room, brush your teeth, and then go straight to bed. You couldn’t give less of a fuck about anything once your body feels those sheets. It feels like you haven’t rested your body in weeks even though it’s only been one long day. You try to stay awake for a little longer in case Choso needs help with anything, but after your head hits that pillow, you’re out in a matter of minutes.

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

It’s the next morning and you’re up bright and early.

Too fucking early.

But there’s a lot to do which means that you can’t stay in bed and hit snooze on your alarms six times.

You slowly climb out of bed and get in the shower to start your day. You even do your lengthy hair care routine so that it’s as soft and beautiful as possible.

After getting out of the shower, you wrap a towel around yourself and have a seat at your vanity. You decide to do a halo look for your eyes today using various shades of black / grey with a pop of blue in there. You make your highlighter bright enough to blind someone and work your lip-liner magic as much as you can to make your lips look as plump as possible. You dab on some pink blush because he loves the rosy cheeks and start to work on your hair. Lucky for you, not too much goes into that. It is already a bit air dried so you use a blow dryer to do the rest of the work before putting your hair up in heated rollers and letting them sit while you work on everything else.

When you woke up, Choso was gone which means he was probably setting everything up.

All your closest friends took the day off of work so that they could be here to welcome Satoru home.

You throw on a robe and leave your bedroom and you’re absolutely blown away by everything you see. All the things that you had on the list are perfectly set up. There’s welcome home banners, some helium balloons filled with confetti and some blown up but on the floor. There’s other dangling decorations and everything just looks incredible.

You go into the kitchen to get something to drink and see Choso in the kitchen working on something.

“Good morning,” you greet before getting too close. You have a habit of accidentally scaring people.

“Morning. How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, I guess. Did you do all of this?”

He nods. “I woke up some time ago so I decided to get as much done as possible. Do you wanna change anything?”

“No, it’s perfect. Thank you. I just hope it wasn't too much for you.”

“It was fine.” He still hasn’t looked up from whatever he’s doing.

“What are you up to now?”

He motions for you to come over and your jaw drops. He’s been working on the cake this whole time and it’s fucking incredible. It’s still white, but he’s taken blue and black frosting and somehow drawn little caricatures of Satoru along the sides. It pays to be best friends with an incredible artist.

“What do you think?”

“I fucking love it. I was just going to do the bare minimum, but this looks amazing. Thank you!” You throw your arms around him to hug him. It’s nice to see everyone in your life putting in so much work for him.

“I’m glad you like it.”

He finished decorating and setting the cake up to give it its two tiered drama and you return to your room to finish getting ready. You decide to go above and beyond with your outfit today. You’ve pulled out a light pink, strapless, floor length dress, with cutouts open down the sides and just some ribbons holding it together. It’s tight, it makes your tits look good, and you can’t wear panties with it. Whatever, it’s gonna be amazing.

You take your rollers out and your hair falls into the most beautiful curls. You decide to pull back some of your hair into a sparkly clip just to make sure it’s not in your face, but still frames it beautifully. After fixing your hair, you slide on your dress and you take your own breath away.

You go to check your phone and right as you pick it up, you have a message from Kento letting you know that he’s outside. He’s going to take you to pick up donuts for Satoru and then pick up Satoru and bring him home.

This is the most excited and most nervous you’ve ever been and unfortunately it’s happening at the same time.

You put on your heels and throw on your cream coloured faux fur coat before spritzing yourself with Satoru’s favorite perfume. He even got you one of those vintage perfume bottles to keep it in because he likes watching you get ready. You grab your purse and finally leave your bedroom.

“Choso! Kento and I are heading to the hospital now. Do you need anything before I go?”

“Nope, go get your man” he says while still putting all his focus into this cake.

You grab your keys and rush downstairs to go meet Kento.

When you get downstairs, he’s outside his car waiting for you and when he sees you, his brows raise and a hint of a smile appears on his face.

You pull your jacket down and do a little spin, “do you think he’ll like it?”

All he says in response is, “obviously.”

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

Once you arrive at the hospital, Kento decides to stay behind so that he can keep the car warm. You have no problem with that because you don’t see yourself being here long. Dr. Yaga said Satoru was being discharged in the morning so that should be soon.

When you enter the hospital, you see the receptionist that you can’t stand so you immediately walk past her and into the elevator. You’d feel bad if it was Nobara, but you have no time for this woman's shenanigans today.

It feels like you blink and you’re outside Satoru’s room. You knock twice and when you open the door, you see his back is towards you and it looks like he’s packing.

“Heyyyyy,” he turns around when he hears your voice and his jaw drops. He’s completely frozen with his eyes wide and cheeks pink and now you know that it was worth it when you spent hours getting ready for this moment.

You set the box of donuts down on his bed and ‘accidentally’ allow your coat to slip off your shoulders so he can get a better look at your outfit.

As happy as you are to get this reaction out of him, you’re a little concerned that you broke him because he’s been frozen for about a minute.

“You okay, Satoru?”

He literally shakes his head from side to side like he had to work himself out of a trance. “Yeah. Just uhhhh.. You. Look. Sensational.”

Maybe today was a bad day to wear a dress that you can’t wear panties with.

He takes a break from packing, sits down, and pats the space on the bed so that you can sit next to him. Things between you two are getting more comfortable by the minute and you can’t wait to spend one on one time with him, not in a hospital.

Not too long after you arrive, Dr. Yaga walks into the room. “Good morning.” He picks up Satoru’s chart and does a once over before speaking again. “How have you been feeling?”

Satoru turns to you and says, “much better.”

“That’s good. That’s good. Well, looking over all your test results, we don’t have any answers for your migraines other than it’s probably just from the assault. Since there’s nothing else that we can do for you here, I’m gonna allow you to be discharged today. Any questions?”

“Nope. Just excited to go home.”

Your heart skips a beat.

“Great. I’ll send the nurse in with your paperwork and then you can get going.”

You’re ecstatic. You can’t wait for him to get home and see how much everybody has missed him. Even Utahime even though she doesn’t want to admit it.

After a few more minutes pass, you hear a notification from a phone. You check yours that was buried in your pocket and it’s not from you so it must be him. But when you see him reach for a phone, it’s not the one that you gave him.

If that bitch gave him a phone she’s definitely getting her ass whooped.

After reading whatever the hell the message said, his smile falls and his entire personality shifts.

Fuck.

You don’t know what’s coming, but you can already sense that it’s not good.

Just as you’re about to ask him what’s wrong, the door to his room opens and the nurse comes in. You’re ecstatic but he seems even more disappointed. She drops off his paperwork, wishes him well, and then leaves.

Easy breezy. Except it seems like he’s getting more tense by the second.

“Satoru, is everything okay?”

He hesitates and you are already sure that whatever bad shit is about to happen, is going to fall down on you.

“Uhhhhhh, I don’t know how to say this.” Fuck.

“Say what?” You’re trying to not sound too disappointed but you’re probably not doing a good job at it.

“It’s about coming home.” Okay, now your stomach hurts. “I think… uhhhh… just for now…” He’s rocking back and forth and looking everywhere but at you so you have a feeling that you know where this is going.

“Satoru, relax. I’m not going to lash out or anything. Just say what’s on your mind.” That’s partially true. You won’t lash out at him, but you absolutely might slam some doors or something once you get home.

“It’s just, for now, I think I’m going to return to Mei’s instead of going home… with you,” he says with his head down.

It feels like your heart is crumbling.

“Oh… okay.”

He interrupts you before you can ramble on, “it’s not anything personal against you or anything. It’s just, while dealing with memory issues, it might be a little bit better to return to a familiar place so I don’t overwork my brain.” The doctor did say to go back to previous routines but okay. “I also don’t want to make things awkward with you with everything going on.” How sweet… except it’s fucking not.

You put on your best smile because you don’t want the last time you see him to be a yelling match. “It’s fine, I understand. I hope you do well. If you need anything, you now have a bunch of numbers to call.” You purposely didn’t say to call you because at this point, you may not answer the phone. “Anyway, I’m gonna head out.”

“Oh I wasn’t kicking you out. You can stay for a little lon–”

Fitz.

The hearth seemed like a frozen lake compared to the heat of my face. My hand eclipsed Beloved's as I pressed it against my mouth, bestowing one kiss after another to the center of his palm, rather desperately. He was kneeling besides me, the mattress dipping beneath his delicate knees, and his silk-gloved hand was lost amidst my loose curls, but it was still not enough. I wanted, needed him closer. My mind whirled with imaginations, of his graceful body arranged against the sheets, the candlelight dancing in shadow and flame across the soft, beautiful panes of his skin. Of flattening myself against him kissing every bare part of his body until he would be gasping my name, my teeth leaving reddened marks in their wake, a map of the steps I danced across his skin. But still, it would not be enough.

The image made me harden even more in the confines of my undercloth, and I bit down on the tender flesh of Beloved's palm, right at the base of the thumb. He gasped, and a groan like my own was ripped from his throat. I glanced at him through the cover of his fingers. His grip on my hair had become vice-like, and spread fire through my loins. He was shifting on his knees, no doubt seeking the same friction I was, lips half parted and eyes lidded as if I was fine liquor he was drinking in. My mouth fell from him, and closed again at the juncture of his wrist, right at the pulse point.

I can't recall which one of us moved, but my hand was on his bottom, and soon he was straddling me, the cotton and lace of his white nightgown falling upon my lap like a lady's skirts. We groaned as one at our pressed hardness. Perhaps he had moved his palm, or I had tilted my head, but suddenly his thumb was in my mouth.

I had never felt my cheeks flame so hot. Shamelessly, I clenched his wrist, moving my tongue against the length of his thumb and the tender pad of it. A moan squeezed the back of my throat. This was good. This was beginning to be close enough.

With a gasp, I drew away from his thumb, and wasted no time in shoving his fore and middle fingers down my throat. I could not quite describe the completion their fullness brought me, only that it felt right, euphorically so. My hand gripped Beloved's waist down and close to me, and I couldn't help but grind into him. He seemed to enjoy it, for his hips started to move as well, slow and seductive where mine had been erratic.

Beloved pushed his fingers in and out of my willing mouth, and I let him, my mind too clouded with need to pay any heed to my broken whines and moans, or how I must have looked gasping around his fingers with spit slicked lips. His had tethered my hair around his hand, and each pull nearly toppled me off the razor's edge. "Good boy, Fitz. Good boy, my love." His voice, although hushed, was unbearably sweet, and I felt myself melting under its force. I thought I was safe before he asked, "would you like to come like this?"

My lungs burned as they received the first indrawns of breath in what seemed like hours to me. All the warmth from the hearth and the candles around us could not match the conflagration of my face. My mind, fogged with arousal like the shoreline of Buck in an autumn morning, didn't comprehend the question until Beloved seated himself more firmly on me, and a lightning of heat speared through my spine. At last, I beheld him clearly. From behind him, the fire cast an ethereal glow around the flow of his curls. He was smiling gently, expectation yet patience in his eyes, poised as if we were having a conversation over tea rather than making love in our bedroom. His hand, held to his chest, was glistening with my saliva. My mouth recalled their tantalizing pressure inside it, and wanted more.

My shoulders sagged with an exhale. "Yes. Please." It was all I could say.

And Beloved's smile grew, like the delicate breaking of dawn. He leaned to kiss me, his face filling my periphery so sweetly before our lips met. I embraced him closer, my hands working into his shoulders as his tongue prodded where his fingers had been moments ago. I keened with want, and in his mercy, he released me. "Let me give you what you want, then, Beloved," he whispered, and my mouth parted for him.

Beloved.

My hands engulfed Beloved's waist, so slender my thumbs met as I held him, and I wasn't sure how I haven't fainted. Each slow grind of his hips stole the breath from my lungs and inflamed my face, my speech reduced to incoherent groans and murmurs. Every few heartbeats, I lost the struggle against my will and my eyelids fell shut, plunging me into darkness when all I wanted was to behold the radiance above me.

He had waited for me in my bedroom with a peculiar air about him; I had ascended to my chambers after a soak in the steams to find him lingering by the far wall, wearing a nightgown that I registered as near translucent at first sight. Bathed in the candlelight, the water-like fabric had rippled and shifted as he stepped to my side, each movement revealing the outline of his bare form underneath. In an instant, my throat had run dry and my heartbeat soared. I had never been the recipient of such open and unabashed seduction.

He seemed intent on using me for his liking, which was fine by me; not at all did I mind his hand bracing against my chest, or the fall and rise of his hips as he slowly, and so achingly and deliciously withdrew from me just to take me further inside. I had been permitted to hold him and match his pace with my own, and each moan that reverberated from his chest and the fluttering of those golden eyelashes was enough.

Another time we met, and the arrow of pleasure that ran up my spine was so fierce my head fell against the pillow. "Gods, Beloved," I somehow had the air to gasp.

Beloved answered with a moan of his own, stifled when mine had been shameless. He was losing his composure, and the sight was as sweet as a dollop of honey. To see his carefully planned seduction crumble under our shared pleasure was a force my heart couldn't bear. The way his neck bared as he tilted his head, the way he caught his lower lip and the indents the bite left in its wake, the waves of his hair draped over one shoulder, each strand perfect as if it was meticulously arranged by hand. He was magnificent.

I lifted my hand; I ventured up the valley of his torso, the ladder of his ribs, and the slope of his shoulder to finally cup his face. His eyes opened when my hand met his cheek, flushed crimson like well made wine. His gaze was glossy as he loomed over me, and held an edge of desperation, or want. Whatever he needed from me, I would give to him, openly and willingly. No limits, he had once said, and I had promised. No limits between us at all.

As if he heard my thoughts, Beloved turned his face to press a kiss to the center of my palm, one and then another, and another. And just as quickly, he turned away from me with a soundless cry as I filled him just right. He was clutching my waist so harshly I had no doubt I'd have marks when we were done, and I'd bear them with joy. He could mark all of me if he wished to; my thumb grazed the corner of his lips as he sank into me again, then it disappeared into his mouth.

All air left us as one. The sensation was a depth of pleasure and I was but a mere pebble plunged into its vast intensity, drowned and lost in the matter of a heartbeat. Oh, he was warm, and lasciviously wet. His tongue stroked the underside of my thumb, then pooled at the tip of it. His face was entirely reddened but his eyes stark as he looked at me, as if daring me to object to this pure marvel he was bestowing upon me. I could not. Satisfied, he spat out my thumb. An arousing glisten coated his rosy lips and he gave me a sunrise of a little smile before he swallowed my next two fingers down.

If I were to die from heart failure at the moment, which was not out of the question, I would have died a most happy man. With hollowed cheeks, Beloved took me to the base of the last knuckle, and to my very fingertips again. He did not choke nor shed a tear, only deeply keened as he licked the length of my fingers, the tender skin at their joining, even nibbled the soft underside. My arousal was like little dots of explosive powder simmering in my lower stomach, setting off and clouding all else in my mind. The rhyme of my hips had become erratic and sporadic. I was not going to last much longer, but I was not going to let Beloved remain wanting.

He pulled off me for a gulp of air, and I supported his chin as he did so, a fragile string of saliva stretching from his mouth to my soaked fingers. His shoulders trembled and his chest visibly expanded as he inhaled, and his eyes had a shimmer as he gazed down at me, tendrils of his hair now plastered to his temples with sweat. He was on the edge, too.