hi friends. so everything has been turning to shit for a very long time and my life is in shambles. i desperately need help. i'm truly at my breaking point and just want to end everything. i've gotten extremely close but i'm still hanging on, just barely. but i'm unable to improve anything on my own. i'm stuck in an abysmal living situation and i'm trying to take care of myself and my three cats. unfortunately, asking for donations is really my only option since i'm unable to work. i need ongoing help so i'm reblogging this post from time to time. i really hate doing this, it's humiliating and makes me feel guilty and inferior. but please know i'm endlessly so grateful for any help and support i can get. literally anything at all helps. please feel free to reblog as well. i added more info and context under the cut.
so i've been living with my abusive and toxic on again off again boyfriend with his grandma and great aunt for 2 1/2 years now. this was only supposed to be temporary, a few months. but things just increasingly got worse and i'm completely stuck and isolated. his great aunt hates us both and makes being here a nightmare. she treats us like shit and is very controlling, bitter, and petty. she has indoor security cameras pointed at our bedroom and the kitchen. we're not allowed to eat their food or use the shared bathroom, we're forced to use the bathroom in his grandma's room and we're uncomfortable around her too. it's gotten to the point i very rarely leave the room, even to go to the bathroom. i already suffer from agoraphobia, along with other mental illnesses, and this greatly amplifies it. i go months at a time without going outside. my "boyfriend" got fired in february and has made no attempt at finding a job or being responsible (e.g. go to the dmv to renew his license that expired 2 years ago). so there's no income whatsoever coming in. he's ridiculously irresponsible, impossible to actually communicate with, selfish, and completely apathetic about everything and an alcoholic, so that's always his biggest priority. i'm unable to drive or work, i struggle with everything, i have no support system, including family support. i need assistance with paying for everything. food for myself and my cats, necessities, medication, my phone bill. i've also just been going without a lot of things. for example, my glasses have been completely broken for over a year and i haven't had an eye exam in years. my cats haven't been to the vet in years either. i'm so lost and i don't know what to do. i was considering moving back home to texas (i'm in north carolina) to live with my abusive mom that i don't have a good relationship with, but she's unable to afford me living there. so currently i have no options and my life is at a standstill. i'm at my breaking point and need support more than i ever have.
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