Beware of Druid

For my prelude, see live footage of me at work below. (PS: Mac on the right there is basically my wife, she was very kind to let me ramble about this.)

Here we go. And I think it goes without saying, but spoilers ahead.

Thank you so much for both the ask games and the ask, these questions are fantastic. I'm a sibling-haver and tragedy enjoyer, so fleshing out Bran and Orin's relationship holds a ton of appeal for me, and I answered all four (and not briefly, though I did try).

CW past this point for mentions of most of Durge's usual suspects: kidnapping, indoctrination, imprisonment, torture, desecration of corpses, suicidality, stabbing, and murder.

1.1 When did your Durge and Orin meet? What was their relationship like initially? Did their feelings towards each other change over time?

This is a scene I desperately need to write. I have their first meeting almost fully mapped out in my head, but I'll try to summarize enough backstory to make the gist of it make sense.

Bran was kidnapped into the Cult of Bhaal at 16 or 17, and they spent their first month trying to escape and refusing to kill anyone outside of duels. Bhaal wasn't willing to cut his losses, so the Tribunal decided to try desensitize them to killing indiscriminately. They put Bran in a cell with a non-Bhaalist cellmate, and when they killed them, they replaced them with a new one. It convinced him his urges were inescapable, and after months of it, Bran was entirely past his breaking point.

Orin, at 10 or 11 years old, snuck in and saw them kill their latest cellmate when Sceleritas wasn't there to witness it, and she was impressed and envious of how easy they made it look. Afterwards, Bran talked her into telling Sceleritas that he'd killed without regret and was finally ready to be let out, promising to teach her what he knew. It saved them from spending much more time imprisoned, and upon release, Bran proved themself to the Tribunal with the murder spree depicted in Blood in Baldur's Gate, which secured their freedom as well as Orin's admiration.

Their first meeting more or less tricks Orin into seeing them as a role model, which she only begins to unlearn years after the fact. On the other hand, it sets Bran up to see her as the reason they're still alive, which quickly turns into their biggest reason to keep living as they become attached to her. He begins to see her as a little sister very quickly in the process of "mentoring" her over the first few years, and he dotes on her but still keeps her at arm's length to try to avoid killing her himself. As Bran acclimated to the Cult and began climbing the ranks, she remained their favorite person there by a very wide mile, and she became more or less untouchable within the Cult because of it.

He promoted her to his second in command as soon as he'd secured his own leadership three or four years later, and almost everyone around at that time resented her deeply for it. There seems to be a ton of resentment for Orin within the Cult in-game, and I think a lot of it can be explained by Bran's favoritism/nepotism in addition to her own idiosyncrasies.

The biggest source of conflict between them is that Orin grows up and begins to see Bran for something closer to who they really are rather than as her childhood idol, but Bran never does the same. They still see her as the kid sister they loved, not an adult who is realistically their greatest threat as next-in-line. Orin's feelings change, but Bran's never do.

2.1 There's a lot of reasons Orin might want to stab Durge in the head and take their place as Chosen. If it came down to one thing, what was it? What was going through her head as she stabbed your Durge?

Orin became bitterly disillusioned with Bran as she got old enough to recognize their differences. She spent about a decade as their second in command, which gave her a lot of insight into how they ran things—functionally and efficiently, but in her view, artlessly and without enough devotion. She hated that he didn't value her artistry or her input on how to make his killings more worshipful, and that he worked with outsiders just as closely as he did with her. As their relationship with Gortash progressed, she hated watching them become willing to make more time for him. She couldn't understand why Bran still refused to let her kill Enver when she only wanted to for their own good. I HC her as aroace and sex/romance repulsed, and I think between that and her upbringing teaching her to thoroughly devalue empathy, she literally couldn't fathom why Bran cared enough not to kill him and move on, regardless of how useful he was. The fact they did frustrated and confused her for years, and she saw it as an open weakness. After years of Bran refusing to excise it, she came to the conclusion they were weak, and had to die.

Refusing her challenge was, to her, the ultimate betrayal and disrespect, and it was her last straw. She'd been picking fights (verbally) and trying to provoke Bran for weeks, and she'd been sure she'd worn him down enough for him to get past his attachment to her and finally let them fight for real. He didn't, so she no longer respected him enough to want to kill him in a fair fight. As she attacked him, she reasoned that leaving him alive was a fate even worse than death, and that it was a fate he deserved for his unworthiness.

In some ways, the duel she challenges them to in-game is her trying to fix this mistake—at first she wonders if not duelling them officially is the reason why they didn't simply become a thrall or die, and I think that despite everything she has an unconscious, grudging respect for the fact they didn't. For me, this helps explain why she goes to all the trouble she does in Act 3 rather than simply finishing the job and moving on with her life. In a way, she sees it as a chance to redeem herself for her initial failure/impulsivity and make it up to him, and it even gives Bran one last chance to redeem himself in death.

1.15 What did Orin and your Durge dislike the most about each other?

This is a fantastic question for Bran because it's so easy for me to answer: above all, they disliked Orin's zeal. He resented her because, in his eyes, she had choices that he didn't, and she chose to strive to be a perfect Bhaalist when she wasn't compelled to in the way he felt he was. He was more or less groomed to lead because his urges and his blood gave him "favorite child" status (along with a decent helping of the sunk-cost fallacy), and he resented her ambition because he largely still hated his role and was convinced she shouldn't have wanted it.

Part of the reason she does is because they did so much to raise her, but they don't like to acknowledge that she's partially a monster they created, and they don't consciously reach that conclusion until after they kill her in their in-game duel. Bran came to accept being a Bhaalist leader because their induction to the Cult convinced them they could never be anything else (other than dead), but they think she could and simply chooses not to. He sees her zeal as a waste of both freedom and potential. Killing artfully and being an assassin makes her happy, and they don't see why she isn't content with merely continuing to do that.

I don't see their view of her agency as accurate: Bran was largely raised outside the Cult of Bhaal, and Orin was immersed in it more or less from birth. Realistically, she had as little say in what she became as they did, or maybe even less, and I think on some level they might hate that most of all. Bran is subconsciously jealous that her faith is so sincere because if he was honestly a zealot like her, his life would be a lot easier.

It's also an easy question for Orin for me, because I'm inclined to take her at her word in-game, based on her notes and how I imagine Bran's behavior before they were tadpoled. She dislikes their efficiency, but the thing she hates the most is their attachments to outsiders. Things like the "slip-sliding in filth with these pigs" line feel a lot deeper than simple insults to me—she seems genuinely offended on her and Bran's behalf as Bhaalspawn. I interpret this partially as unconscious jealousy, but she also legitimately sees it as a weakness and a flaw, and that is her main motivation for attacking them.

2.15 Does your Durge keep anything to remember Orin by, after her death? Did she keep anything to remember them, after her betrayal?

Bran is very much inclined to hate the Bloodthirst dagger, but he kept it after her death rather than throwing it away like he (and most of the party) wanted himself to or even giving it to Astarion to let him put it to good use. It's a symbol of what he used to be and everything he hates about himself, despite his relative lack of memories, but he remembered just enough to care about her instinctively and deeply regret killing her. They can never bring themself to use it, but they are never able to get rid of it either.

I HC that Orin threw away or destroyed Durge's things after usurping them, as opposed to Durge living a super minimalist lifestyle or some other explanation for why they have so few possessions left. Bran's bedroom would've been coated in plants and whatever magical grow lights he'd needed to keep them alive (he grew them for poisons, but also as a druidic guilty pleasure), as well as books and alchemical supplies, at minimum, so she would've had to have gutted all of that. She didn't keep anything from Bran other than Bloodthirst, but I do think she subconsciously regretted that.

She cut off Bran's long hair when she tadpoled them, both to make it easier and out of spite, but she left their braid behind somewhere in the mind flayer colony. There are a few indications that she likes keeping trophies from people she kills (her mom and her armor off the top of my head), but I think the fact that she pivoted to leaving Bran alive would've been enough to disrupt whatever her usual ritual would be. I can't decide whether she realized that she could've gone back for it afterwards, but I kind of doubt she'd let herself if the thought had ever occurred to her because she wouldn't think Bran deserved that level of sentimentality.

By the time the impulse to get rid of their things wore off, all she had left was Stillmaker, and I am a huge fan of the HC (fannon?) idea that it was something Gortash made for Durge (I cannot find the specific post I'm thinking of, but I will link it in a reblog whenever I finally do). She deeply hated both it and their relationship, so I'd imagine that she either got rid of it/gave it up or hid it in the hole where you find it in-game after she couldn't find an easy way to break it. I can't remember/find if there was a different canonical reason it ended up there, but if this does diverge from cannon, I don't know that I'd care enough to change it.

Chapter 0

In which Orin meets the newest member of her family.

~ 1,700 words

CW past this point for the following, in addition to those above: murder and graphic depictions of violence (biting, stabbing, strangulation), implied/referenced suicide attempt, past/mentioned child abuse and attempted child murder, cannibalism, body horror.

Orin killed the little fiend from behind. A knife, a neck, a crime of opportunity. It was easy, and as she stepped over the small body on the floor, her small body became it, crunch-cracking satisfyingly into shape.

She'd done it once before, and it only made her want to do it more. Make it stick. Killing him—being him was already repulsive. She'd cut him up much more than last time, to try to make sure. Dead things stay dead. Dead things were meant to stay dead.

Those were the supposed to be the rules. Are, was, will be the rules—she'd prayed to ask after the first time he'd come back because she'd been so confused. Her mother was still as dead as ever after, forever and always unbreathing and beautiful. Unbreathing was her answer, and she'd prayed again in thanks.

Her absence was making it difficult for her to get her hair to behave itself like usual, so she'd shifted her usual form to keep it short. Now it didn't knot and tangle into ratty nests. She still wasn't sure she liked it. At the moment, she had no hair at all, and the air on her scalp was as cold as the stone under her feet. She'd never been bald, and she didn't like that even more.

The body twitched. Only a minute or two, now. She took the corpse's keys and opened the door.

The creature always said that this room was far too dangerous for her, but there was no danger here. Only a cage, and she was not the one inside it.

There was blood, old though it was, and the sickly rot sweet-stink of it was almost enough to mask the sweat-stink of the second person. Soon to be not-person, mere meat to be shaped. The other one was advancing on him, but their eyes turned instead on her. And stopped, just a moment. Their eyes were two empty pits even when still stuck in their sockets. Black, black, as black as hers were white but for a slight bit of shine in the dim light of the sputter spitting torch behind her. Utterly full of bottomless empty, and it wanted to eat her.

She was sure they hated the disgusting creature whose face she was wearing. She agreed. Dead things should stay dead.

They looked away, just another moment. The second, to-the-slaughter, spoke as if they'd hesitated. "Please, don't. You don't have to do this." He raised his hands a little, as if they'd hesitate a second time.

The black pits looked at him and laughed. Long, ugly, and sick, it echoed on the six stone surfaces of their little cubic cage. Like a landslide, a collapse, doom impending down upon them all. It went long enough she wondered if the temple would fall on top of her. "Please. We can find a way out if we—"

Their answer was instant. Even quicker. They lunged, and then their teeth were around his windpipe; they tore it out and open, and his pleas became beautiful wordless wellsprings of arterial spray the likes of which she had only ever seen in gorgeous dreams. On the walls, on the bars, on her, on them, on everything. There was a river, and little bit of rain for every brick in their stony box. They did not spit it out.

The door rattled a little as the abomination on the other side regrew enough to start to squirm in earnest. Rattling, rasping where Orin had cut open its vile voice box and then stabbed so that the knife would stay there stuck, upright like a twig growing out in between the fat white spinal bones behind it. It should keep him busy until he regrew his fingers.

The blood soaked monster turned to look at her, and it was beautiful.

The pits began to shrink as they stared, until they almost looked like real eyes were supposed to. People-like. Perplexed, as the croaking death rattle outside the door continued. They thought they were looking at what should have been its source.

Orin shed that shape, bones snapping and slipping, and they watched. Not with disgust. Only a strange and dawning look of fear. She'd always wanted to be scary to someone, and it was an honor to frighten a creature quite so fierce as this.

"…Are you the next one?" Their voice was low and rough, stretched and strained. There was a blotchy, bruisy, fleshy ring around their neck, just as Orin's mother made on hers. Hers was gone—long gone. She breathed in to remember before she replied.

"Next what?" They looked down at the mess they'd made, then back. "Next that? No, no, no, no, no. I would bite you back—I would bite you first!" She preened as their attention seemed to sharpen, suddenly. They looked at her like she was danger, dangerous and strange. She smiled, and shifted her teeth to match theirs as best she could, but theirs were shark sharp like something pulled out of the blackness of the sea.

"You're a Bhaalist?"

"I am! I am. I am a good one." Their eyes were dead deep pits, and they saw her anyway. Finally. Danger, danger, dangerous—she preened a little more. "I killed my mother! And that thing I was wearing, but he doesn't die."

They blinked, covering the holes in their sockets like spike traps, for a moment. She still knew they were there. "…You killed him?"

Orin nodded firmly. "I hate him. Wish I ate him, like you ate him. Then he'd take longer to grow back."

They laughed. The echo was a little less skull-rattling even as the door shook, shivering like something spasmed into it. They watched it like a bird of prey, head turning so sharp she was sure their mangled neck would break. "Can you do something for me?"

She probably wasn't supposed to. "Maybe. I won't let you eat me."

"I... I don't want to eat you. You're safe, as long as you stay there." They knelt down by the bars, and they did not look back at their holy, bloody work. "Did you think I did well?" There were pretty, magic bracelets on their wrists, and they both looked at them a moment as the runes rattled against the bars. "I didn't even need to be an animal to do it."

"…Yes." She did. She had never seen someone kill with teeth before, and now she was determined try it for herself. Maybe she would try it on the groaning thing outside the door, next time. "I will remember it. I won't need to be an animal," she said, and then wondered what exactly she'd just promised. She'd been a lot of people, though, and hoped she might be this one. She wanted to be sharp. "I will do it just as well."

"You will," they said, fast and surely. Strangely, when they'd been so glacial just before. Frantic, looking almost not empty at all now. Their blunt black hair fell into round, black eyes, and they wiped it away with sharp distaste. "Thank you, for killing him—he deserves it."

She shrugged, smiling on the inside even through the guilty lie. "He deserves death. Death-death." She hadn't killed him, nor for longer than a minute.

"He does, but Bhaal is protecting him so that he can keep watch on me."

"Why does he need to watch you?" She looked at the blood on the rocks all around them. They didn't need to be watched, except to be appreciated.

"I—someone hurt me. He doesn't... Father doesn't want it to happen again. That's all." Their hand went to the hair that hovered, choppy, at their throat, and the wide bruise wrapped around it.

They were like her, in the blood in their veins and the blood on their faces. Maybe that was why she said it. "...My mother did that." Orin said it, but she shouldn't have. Her throat tightened a little even with no hands stretching, scratching, straining around each side, and she had to swallow. "But I killed her first. Did you kill them first?"

They blinked. "...They're dead. Yes, I did." They nodded. It was final, as if they'd only finished doing it. "I killed my parents, too. Just like you."

"With your teeth?"

"I think so, but I was very young." They looked a little afraid again. "It's harder to remember it while I'm awake."

"I bet you did bite them. Your teeth are sharp." She shifted again, trying to make hers truly match. Smiling, grimacing. It was hard to see the details in the dark. "I want to make mine sharper."

"I can teach you," they said, watching her, and then the door. "But only if you do me a favor."

"…I won't let you eat me."

"I know." They smiled, warm. Strange. Good-strange, but bad-strange all the same. It was like her mother used to smile, and she knew she shouldn't like it. "I want you to tell that creature I did well. He'll only let me out if he thinks I can protect myself—he kept me here to make me prove it."

It felt a bit like a trap, with the amount of blood around their mouth. She knew what those teeth wanted to do. "Will you kill me when he sets you free?"

"No. As long as you stay vigilant, I—I promise, I won't. I'll teach you what I know. You've only killed your mother, and the creature, right?"

"…Yes." They'd seemed a little impressed by her too, before, but "only" didn't match impressed. "I killed them both. With knives."

"That's good," they said, and it made it a little better. "You're already doing well. I'm bigger and older, so I've killed a lot of people. I don't even really know how many, anymore. I'll teach you everything I know, and if you practice, you'll get even better."

THE FIRST PIPE BOMB @ztudiolaire

@ztudiolaire

BUT WAIT. THERES MORE

this is why ao3 is superior 😭 I hope op has a copy of their work because, from what I’ve been told, wattpad won’t even warn or give you time to backup your work beforehand. they will just deadass delete your work. my friend once had their entire work—with multiple chapters—deleted by wattpad with no heads up. just a notification that says “your work has been deleted”.

Bran's usual kind impulses towards people tend to fall into the realm of what they see as mercy killings, at least during their Bhaalist years. I'm torn on exactly how prominent this pattern was, but I think lot of his kills outside of assassinations would have specifically targeted people like beggars and street urchins. Part of this is practical, in that it helps ensure his victims are unlikely to be missed or noticed, especially by the Flaming Fist, but a lot of it would've been motivated by a misguided idea of mercy or some kind of (shadow) druidic version of Social Darwinism, or more than likely some combination of the two. Giving money to a beggar rather than killing them would have definitely been outside the norm for Bran, to say the least.

One thing that could explain it would be guilt very early on—I could easily see Bran doing this during or shortly after their first big Blood in Baldur's Gate murder spree out of some misguided idea of penance, because they weren't entirely numb to remorse yet. I tried to think of him doing it while he was especially happy about something, but I don't think he honestly had anything during his time as a Bhaalist that would've made him happy enough to do that. He spent the vast majority of his childhood being destitute financially and living in the wilds prior to his induction into the Cult of Bhaal, so it wouldn't have been a habit for him to give money to beggars even before that. As druids, he and his mentor largely wouldn't need to do a lot of trading to provide for themselves on the road, and they would've relied far more on barter than buying things. They had to do odd jobs (usually for farmers) on the rare occasions they couldn't just barter for something they needed, so they would have little to no money on hand for the vast majority of their childhood.

Because there's still more I want to say and hear about Orin and everyone's Durges! This is a sequel to this Ask Game, and I have another romance specific one in the works. But first, theres still a lot more general questions to be asking.

There's a lot of reasons Orin might want to stab Durge in the head and take their place as Chosen. If it came down to one thing, what was it? What was going through her head as she stabbed your Durge?

Why did Orin tadpole your Durge, rather than killing them? Was that her plan all along, or did she mean for Durge to die?

When not playing a Durge, Orin keeps the dead body of a white dragonborn (default Durge) on the floor by her bed. What would happen to your Durge's corpse, if you had a choice?

What was Orin's role in the temple, while Durge was Chosen? Did they give her privileges and responsibilities, compared to normal cultists? Did they try to keep her down?

Regardless of their feelings on her betrayal, did your Durge think Orin would make a good Chosen of Bhaal?

How often did your Durge and Orin really speak to each other, while Durge was Chosen? Did they spend a lot of time together? How did Orin adjust to not having Durge around?

Did your Durge and Orin ever kill their victims together? How did that go? What did your Durge think of Orin's style of killing?

Did your Durge plan on killing Orin, while they were Chosen? Durge promised Bhaal they'd be the last living thing in the world—did they consider Orin in that? Would they have wanted to make her death special, or get her out of the way sooner?

In game, it's implied Orin takes over Durge's room (The Chosen's Room). How much did she redecorate? Were your Durge's personal items thrown out or kept? Or do you see her as keeping her own room, instead of moving to Durge's? Did they share a room in the first place?

What did your Durge think of Orin's unique carapace? Did they dress ostentatiously themself, or blend in more with the duller clothes usually worn by Bhaal cultists? How did they feel about Orin making her own clothes out of murder victims?

What did your Durge think of Orin's way of speaking? Did they speak more plainly, or share her love of flowery, visceral language?

Does the text of Blood-Envy for the Unworthy and Concerning Orin the Red match the way Durge and Orin feel about each other, in your personal canon? Did you specifically try to keep to game canon, or develop your own dynamic for them? If you were writing the journal entries yourself, what would they say about each other?

How did your Durge feel about Orin stalking them during Act 3? Did it bring back any memories?

How did they feel about dueling each other to the death in Act 3? Would your Durge ever have agreed to a duel earlier? Do either think they'll miss each other, once it's done?

I was complaining about the lack of Orin in Dark Urge ask games before realising, hey, I have a lot to say about Orin, why don't I make one myself? So here we are.

When did your Durge and Orin meet? What was their relationship like initially? Did their feelings towards each other change over time?

What was their relationship with Orin like immediately before the tadpole lobotomy? Was Orin sure in her decision, or did she regret what she was going to do?

How did Orin go about taking your Durge down? Did she need to trick them? Was Durge blindsided, or did they see her betrayal coming?

How does your Durge feel about Orin in game? Do they remember her at all?

Does your Durge regret Orin’s death? Would they have saved her, if it were possible? Did they find a way to do so anyway?

Does your Durge consider Orin a sibling? Do they think of her as family at all?

Did your Durge have any siblings in their foster family? Did they always want a sibling before meeting Orin? How does Orin compare to the foster siblings they may or may not have killed?

How did Orin feel when your Durge was introduced into the cult as Bhal’s favourite child? Or if your Durge was already there before Orin’s birth, how did they react to the new baby?

How does your Durge feel about Sarevok and Helena? Are there any other Bhaalspawn they consider family?

What did your Durge really feel about Orin’s art?

What was Orin and your Durge’s biggest point of contention before the tadpole lobotomy?

What’s something Orin and your Durge always agreed on?

Tell me about a time your Durge and Orin genuinely enjoyed each other’s company

Was there anything Orin and your Durge really admired about each other?

What did Orin and your Durge dislike the most about each other?

How does your Durge feel about Helena’s attack on Orin as a child, and Orin’s murder of her? 

Did your Durge know Sarevok hoped they’d have children with Orin? How do they feel about that whole situation?

Did their relationship with Orin change, when Durge started pursuing the Crown of Karsus? Did their dynamic with Gortash and/or Ketheric change anything?

Does your Durge remember anything of Orin between waking up on the nautiloid and meeting her in Act 3? Do they recognise her in Moonrise?

Who got the Slayer form? Is there any jealousy or fear from the loser?

How does your Durge feel about the revelations over Sarevok’s abuse of Orin and Helena? Did they know already? Do their opinions change post-amnesia?

Does your Durge resist or embrace Bhaal? How does that affect their relationship with Orin? How does she feel about them breaking away, or trying to get their position back?

How does Durge react to Orin kidnapping their companion? Do they agree to her demands to kill Gortash, or go after her first instead? Why?

How does your Durge feel when they learn that Orin betrayed them and was responsible for their brain damage and tadpoling? Do they consider it a betrayal at all?