Raining away...

was outside earlier and a bird Came Up, squatted down, fluttered it’s wings at me and opened its mouth like a hatchling begging for food (it was a grown female) so I went and checked the seed cube in the feeder and the thing was completely covered in mold. this is one of the weirdest things that’s ever happened to me. how did she know im the one in charge of the birdseed. How Did She Know To Pantomime Hunger At Me. Hello.

i have spent my afternoon confusedly getting dressed, driving to the store, purchasing a new seed block, driving home, washing the cage, and getting the feeder set back up. i don’t take this much care for my Own nutrition. ive been bullied into a grocery store run by a tufted titmouse. i feel so loved

I've probably posted about this before but it still gets me that Ripley (my parrot) has a special nickname for my spouse, Tev. Like he knows and uses the names of everyone in his flock (me, Tev, Steve, and Cheese. also a couple of our friends and my mom's dog) but because Tev calls him "Ripley buddy," a couple years ago Ripley started calling him "Tev buddy" instead of just Tev. He doesn't call anybody else buddy. He knows that 'buddy' is a special suffix for him and Tev to use with each other's names because they love each other. Doesn't that just melt your fucking heart

already this has tags in the notes like “#anti ai” but... this is just real life with almost everything. this is like grifter 101 please don’t exceptionalize needing to be critical of chatgpt.

This is literally how job interviews work, by the way, and then everyone is surprised the super-duper confident guy is also an incompetent moron.

It’s also where we get “con artist”, aka “confidence artist”. It’s someone who dazzles you with the assurance that they know what they are talking about because they speak with absolute certainty despite not knowing anything. I dare say it’s gotten worse with the internet because text and careful/exciting editing makes people seem more confident than before - and if you think you’re immune, you aren’t.

HOW

imgonna throw up laughing theres a cat outside my apartment complex and i was trying to get a picture of my hand on him for size comparison and my phone decided im the whitest person ever like literally #FFFFF 0% saturation 100% lightness i put it in my art program and color dropped itthis is so funny why . Why did this happen

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said "Why are you a security guard? Why aren't you teaching this at some college somewhere?" And I didn't know what to say so I went with "Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist"

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

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literally every problem i've had in my adult life has been solved by open and honest communication. which is fucking stupid, first of all

like i can't even just a little bit solve my problems with wanton violence? for real??

i'm like a caricature in a children's show. "and then Whimsy took a deep breath, made a few polite phonecalls, and everything resolved itself 🥰" fucking hell man when do i get to punch someone hard as fuck in the jaw