β β || πππ πππππ πππ
π πππ ππππ ππ . . . ππππππ , πππ ππππ πππππ like a blade dipped in [ [ poison ] ] . It wouldn't be so bad if Katara hadn't said the words so plainly , so [ [ normally ] ] . . . Like things such as being β pet β by strangers was completely part of her daily routine when , in reality , it shouldn't ever be .
Katara leaned against the wall of her husband's office , deep blue eyes fixed on a stray thread in the rug while her arms folded across her chest to form a shield . There were a lot of [ [ emotions ] ] beneath her gaze β too many , but ones she hid like a treasure meant to be discovered . She'd been in the Fire Nation as a citizen , as a [ [ leader ] ] , and as a person for so long now , that there was a part of Katara that was severely disappointed that seeing her was [ [ still ] ] a shock to so many .
Beneath her calm , tired exterior was a sea [ [ raging ] ] without the moon to guide her back home . Every time someone walked up and randomly pet her curls , she wanted to slap their hand away . Each glance that was sent her way not for [ [ good ] ] reasons , she wanted to spit at them and tell them to look at themselves before they look at her . She wanted to kick them until they understood just how much pain they caused her and her Brother . She wanted to freeze them upside down until their faces turned as [ [ red ] ] from embarrassment as hers did in [ [ anger ] ] because of something they said . She wanted to do endless things , but she didn't . Why . . . ?
Why ? Because that was [ [ just ] ] want they wanted . They wanted her to feed into the savage image that Zuko's father , and the many [ [ cowards ] ] who sat on the throne before him painted of her and her People . Zuko had done so well to try to destroy it , but for every poster of it he tore down , someone was there to paint it bigger . It wasn't Zuko's fault β [ [ none ] ] of this would ever be seen as Zuko's fault , in Katara's eyes . She knew [ [ exactly ] ] who to blame . Many of them were dead , and one of them was
[ [ rotting ] ] behind bars without his bending because he was a selfish , arrogant , egotistical tyrant who wouldn't know what love was if it Bloodbent him onto his knees .
As she stood there , silently , Katara's nose scrunched with the furrow of her brows as her thoughts raced . The flickering lights of her husband's office danced within her eyes , showing just how much she was feeling hurt , anger , and also a [ [ hint ] ] of regret . Zuko was talking in the background , and while she [ [ heard ] ] every word , part of Katara's mind was drifting somewhere distant . . . Somewhere that would allow for things like this to never happen again . Maybe , one day , it wouldn't ? For now , this was her reality .
β It's fine . β The words she so desperately wanted to say , words that danced on her tongue but never [ [ quite ] ] came out . Was it because she knew it was something that Zuko wouldn't accept ? . . . Or , was it because it was a lie that she and Zuko had promised they wouldn't tell each other ever again ? Perhaps , it was a mixture of
[ [ many ] ] things . . . and not enough things , all rolled into one .
She shifted her weight in place , her qilliqti brushing against her cheeks with the subtle shift .
β . . . And somehow people still think it's acceptable to treat you like . . . β
Katara didn't need him to finish that sentence , she finished it herself . She closed her eyes , gradually breathing through her nose with a subtle rise and fall of her shoulders like the waves of the sea . The silence Zuko let linger at the end of that sentence
[ [ dragged ] ] at something beneath Katara's surface . Her fingers twisted tighter into the sleeves of her cerulean and crimson hanfu , using her grip as a way of keeping something together .
She didn't lift her gaze to his until she heard the subtle [ [ rustling ] ] of imported fabrics and polished boots . Once the moon found the sun , Katara's jaw relaxed from a firm placement she hardly realized she was holding . Beneath deep , brunette eyelashes were the eyes of a little girl from the Southern Water Tribe who [ [ desperately ] ] wanted to understand why people treated her differently , when they all looked the same on the inside .
β I can't let you fight every battle on the front lines for me , Zuko . β She whispered , β I can't run to you every time something like this happens . What will that say about me ? About us ? That I'm too [ [ scared ] ] to fight my own battles , that I have to run to my Fire Lord husband to fight the war for me ? β Katara gestured to herself , chest rising and falling rapidly in rage . β I'm sick of - β She stopped herself , realizing where her anger was going to go if she didn't control herself . So , she drew herself back into her shores , as she looked down and the anger in her voice simmered into hurt .
Peace had come at a price , one she paid for with the highest currency . . . but , it would [ [ never ] ] be enough .
β I'm sick of people seeing my Tribe and thinking we can't fight our own battles . . . We're not - . . . [ [ I'm ] ] not the helpless little girl I was . . . β As she watched his hand extend towards her , Katara took it out of instinct . It brought her home , back to somewhere safe and secure . For a long , long time , she just looked at their hands . She studied her scars , and how they seemed to match up [ [ perfectly ] ] with his . More importantly , she looked at how their skin looked against one another β different , but
[ [ beautifully ] ] intertwined . . .
If [ [ they ] ] could be like this . . . Why couldn't the rest of the world ?
β I won't [ [ ever ] ] accept it as normal , Zuko . . . But , for once , it would be nice to not have to brace for it at all . I want to be able to go into the market and look for a present for you without feeling the tug of someone playing with my hair . I should be able to eat something with you , without people whispering about how it might be too spicy for me because my Tribe can't handle spices . I know that , one day , I won't have to anymore , but I - . . . β she lifted her eyes to where she knew the scar was on his chest , lingering there momentarily before her gaze [ [ fully ] ] settled into his while her oceans turned to glass . β . . . I have to accept that it might not be in my lifetime . β
And if it did , it would be a [ [ miracle ] ] .
