Neverland

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

Every time I see this I think it’s about CURSING instead of SWEARING. And you know what it works for both.

“Since it is so likely that (children) will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage. Otherwise you are making their destiny not brighter but darker.” ― C.S. Lewis

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

OH MY GOD MY CATS HAVE FANART

“It’s photoshopped” honestly in the age of AI that has a homey sort of nostalgia to it. Remember when people used to put effort into faking things?

photoshop fakers are like the villain with moral standards now

i'd truly be fucked in her situation because rumpelstiltskin is not a name that would come to mind for me

another example of me loving boring shit is liking the idea of getting my blood sucked by a vampire but like they give me snacks and take care of me like the same as when you donate blood. and not even in a like over the top romantic vampire way where they give me some big fancy meal and have me sit on a fainting couch or something, just like normal style. or hell even like having them take my blood in a more clinical way and then drink it from a container instead of drinking it directly from me. it's like. it appeals to me because it's kinda stupid and unsexy and funny but at the same time it's like a kind of denial. and there's a kind of tension. you know here they are holding back and approaching this in this very proper friendly way but they're still drinking my blood. and you know, do they also want to just bite me, do they also just wanna get right to it, even if they're not doing that? like how much effort is it taking to suppress that? i don't know. a vampire who's a doctor and they hypnotize you in the like medical hypnosis kinda way where it's just to make it easier to draw your blood. maybe they don't even drink it in front of you. and they make a casual comment about how it smells or how if you relax it'll taste better or whatever and it's like. yea they are going to drink this. they want this thing that's in my body. i like that weird sense of intimacy in a situation that's trying not to be too intimate. you know

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

As my brother and I were talking about bad forks my mother was in shock and yelled about my father also has bad forks. .... We know....that's how we are who we are.....but at least the nephews have better luck for parents

the foreboding sense of doom? oh yeah i know that one. just double check you have your wallet, keys and some chapstick, works every time

was expecting to reblog this with a tongue-in-cheek reply to the many people saying "this didn't fix me :(" but somehow not a single person in the notes is disagreeing. everyone's just nodding their heads thoughtfully bc yeah that's how you deal with the Foreboding Sense Of Doom, that's good protocol

Do the Doorway Macarena: pat yourself down repeatedly to the tune of your panicking soul.

DOORWAY MACARENA