occasionally jerkin' it

up to a humiliating 11 failures and only 3 completed punishments. i think im realizing i just *want* to be punished. theres also the added struggle of this being a self-imposed challenge. itd be a hell of a lot more compelling to follow the rules if it was my owner setting them at their pleasure and enforcing the punishments.

got fucked by my owner yesterday and thats for real the best its ever felt, i begged to touch my dick and got really close before they finished 🥺 every day i get a lil closer to being abt to cum from penetration !!!!

up to 8 failures and 2 completed punishments (pissing my boxers b4 shower) amd i think im gonna make myself like pissing my pants with this one. the first time i did it it was kinda nothing but just now it was kinda... good? idk. theres a lot of emotions that go into breaking the mental block of "dont piss yourself dumbass," and the fear and shame are *so* hot

ill also be changing the challenge punishment (my partner had some concerns and bc we share an apartment i want them to feel comfortable with what im doing lol). for each failure, rather than an all day hold, i just have to piss myself. gonna do a good ol underwear wetting before each shower until ive done a punishment for each failure 🥰

this morning i woke up and properly fingered myself, and *actually almost came from it*!!!!!

also the self care streak is well broken - i worked 44 hrs this week and thus spent almost all of sunday doing #nothing