The depresso who's out of expresso

Oh, that’s very helpful indeed!

!!!

Yessssss

finally scientific strides are being made to fulfill my lifelong dream (being consumed by fungus)

COMPOST ME MOMMY

@askamorticianooc

Silly boi

People being late because they disagreed on whether something was green or blue would be a very real thing.

We will start at half past dignity and have a short break at pensive

LAWFUL CHAOTIC: respond to your best guess at what they said with a non-neutral response e. g. "Not since the accident"

this is like how people always say “oh this would kill a medieval peasant” girl you strongly underestimate the resilience of these fuckers. they would embrace your challenge with love and curiosity

it’s always “this modern thing would kill a medieval peasant” whereas it should be “this medieval thing would kill the modern gamer”

"smart appliances" fuck u i want them dumb as a brick and incidentally as sturdy and enduring

"it has an LCD and an app!" that will be so fun in 7 years when everything still works except the dead screen and the abandoned software.

"so many extra features" so that's why it costs 3x more and has 1/5th the lifespan of the old model.

"4 year extended warranty" buddy where I'm from the dishwasher is a family heirloom and the washing machine helped raise us