Sarah, 29. "I'm here, I'm queer, and I'm drowning in fear." Biromantic/asexual, she/they, permanently exhausted being of books and pain. DND nerd. Neurodivergent and chronically ill. "chronic illness blogging" is my tag for mental and physical illness posts. Ask me to tag anything.
why is it that ppl hear "fetish" and immediately think "devoid of morals" like ur genuinely not making sense. ppl dont actually become inhuman and beast-like when theyre turned on, thats something we are told bc it aligns with christian patriarcal values, u know that right? desire isnt actually bad. it doesnt make you evil, or incapable of having/respecting boundaries
i got a response to this abt how men get horny and "lose their minds" and "causes" them to behave vile. i rlly rlly neeeeed ppl to understand that men behaving inappropriately when turned on is something they are *choosing* to do, and when you equate that to human nature you are enabling them and diminishing the seriousness of that choice
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ive said it b4 and ill say it again but if u r a first time dog owner, either as an adult or ever, i really dont think theres any point in getting a "starter breed" for dogs when u should really just be getting what u are passionate about and sincerely want, and have done ur research about and think u can be prepared for. if u have always wanted a doberman and u think one would fit well into ur life then get a doberman. if u get a lab bcuz dog people are telling you its 'easier' then u r with a dog for 10+ years that u didnt want as much and u didnt research as much, and every dog has its own quirks and "issues", some are more tolerable to an individual than others. every dog is going to have problems and frustrating moments and if its the dog you LOVED and wanted badly, the issues are going to be a lot easier for you to deal with. there r plenty of dog people who could breeze by with a "hard" breed but an "easy" dog thats recommended as a 'starter breed' all the time (labrador, pug, "ex racing greyhound", etc lol) would not fit what they want and might be much more overwhelming, and they wouldve been a lot happier getting the breed they'd originally wanted anyway. your passion for a particular breed or type of dog is there for a reason. respect that and go with your gut.
not saying that trying to start with an "easier" breed doesnt work out for people and they dont love their dogs, but i just think life is short. if youre in love with a breed and youve researched it and think you're a good fit, then go for it. you should listen to your gut on this one more than random dog people on reddit who dont know you. having a strong bond with an animal you just click with cant be overstated, and whats easier for one person is not necessarily going to be easier for YOU. no dog can be a "perfect starter breed" for everyone, that just doesn't exist (and the breeds change depending on who you talk to anyway. ive seen people say beagles and chihuahuas are terribly difficult and unsafe breeds to have as your first adult dog. lol)
Our OG seekers table (Thaisha, Vaelus, Julien and Occtis)
Because they really do have that energy of the toxic polycule that has Such Good Sex ā¢ļø
They really do. Like it might not be the most emotionally healthy but the sex is good and frequent. Let's see what we can do. Cut for requested spice.
As usual, Vaelus was the tie breaker. Occtis generally refused to get involved in the constant bickering, even as he recognized it to be something that kept Thaisha and Julien sane on the road. He liked them both sane. And arguing somewhere else.
"You want me to put a number on how many people you need for an orgy?" Vaelus's voice was soft and amused. "Dare I ask how this came up?"
"I was just asking if Julien here was ready for an orgy tonight, since it looks like we'll be able to make it to a decent sized town tonight. And he started asking who I was inviting to join us... Greedy boy! We have plenty right here." Thaisha's voice was also light, letting Occtis know that thankfully this little disagreement was not serious in nature. It could go either way with those two.
"Four people is not adequate for an orgy," Julien growled out, almost cutting her off. "Orgy's require five at minimum. And I should know as the person who's attended the most," he added with a bit of a smirk.
"You say that very confidently, Sir Julien," Vaelus teased. "I think perhaps you forgot my age."
"A lot of orgies in the nunnery, elf?"
"Wouldn't you like to know, good knight?"
"I would indeed! It would tell us if this subject is one you are familiar enough with to judge."
"More than all your mortal years combined."
"... respect, elf. So you would agree then that five is the number?"
"With all due respect," Thaisha interrupted, "The number is clearly four. Kahadi and Sylvan both have a word for threesome, and the after that...." She shrugged gracefully. "Then you're just throwing a sex party."
Julien rolled his eyes. "It is entirely possible to have sex amongst four without it being a 'sex party'."
"Ah yes. A quiet, intimate evening, four to a bed," she teased back.
It was Occtis, however, always a bit more on edge when they were like this, that caught the look on Julien's face. He had learned that bickering was some sort of enrichment for the two of them, that it wasn't likely to erupt into sudden violence. But something there had stung Julien more than Thaisha had meant it to, and Occtis hated things he couldn't predict.
"Well, I've never been to an orgy at all," he put out there. There was a minor risk of people's attention turning to him, particularly with emotions heightened as they were, but it was out-weighted by the comfort of a more predictable path of conversation. Julien's face lit up a bit as he turned to tease him, and that haunted look vanishing was worth the price he paid.
He did tuck it away though. If he ever had a more private chance to talk to him, he could perhaps discover what it was about.
-------
The argument had ended somewhat unsatisfactoraly. As tie-breaker Valeus had declared an orgy was less about the exact number, and more about the intent behind it... That four could be a pre-existing relationship if they knew each other well, or an orgy if it was a small but spirited sex party.
"I guess we'll have to wait for your first orgy, then," Julien commented as he drew the younger man into his lap, kissing his cheek while a hand stroked up his thigh.
"Getting started without us?" Thaisha called from across the room, arranging their packs.
"He takes longer to get going! You know this, I'm just being efficient," Julien grinned back, his hands starting to undress Occtis. Julien was always in a better mood when sex was imminent.
"It's a fair point," Vaelus murmered, coming up behind Thaisha and slipping an arm around her, her hand knowing just where to slide so her palm could rest on bare skin rather than cloth, her cheek nuzzling against the back of her shoulder. "Although he's getting better..."
"It's hard, okay?" Occtis knew they were joking but it was difficult not to feel judged. "My body still works just.. i have to think about it, and i haven't had a lot of chances to practice and..."
"Calm down, boy," Julien nipped lightly at his neck. "Don't pay the womenfolk any mind. I never mind the chance to keep certain skills in sharp, let's get you on your back..."
This was, astonishingly enough, familiar enough by now that Occtis doesn't even hesitate, laying back, pulling his knees up and welcoming Julien between them, reaching down to stroke and then grip that hair. Familiar though it might be, he was still getting used to the idea of even having this, let alone being allowed to.... direct things. Not that his knight needed much directing, he was exceptionally good at this... but he did seem to enjoy the direction.
"That's it... " Occtis spoke softly, his knight liked to hear from him, and he was trying to learn to give that back to him. He gathered some of his hair up in one hand so he could see better. The sensations were still somewhat muted, even when he was focused on them, but nothing about being undead made the sight of those lips around his cock any less fascinating.
Julien almost looked serene like this, slowly reminding Occtis's body that it did very much enjoy this, not a trace of impatience in his movements. There were times Occtis wished he could keep him just like this, to make him his knight more than just in his mind, to slide a hand more firmly around his neck, or perhaps a strap of leather and....
A loud smack brought him out of his thoughts. "Move over boys..." Thaisha admired her handprint on Julien's ass, he was so pale he marked up easily. She grabbed his hips and shifted him, although never enough to dislodge the cock from his mouth.
Occtis wasn't sure if he admired or was jealous of how easily and casually she marked him. There were still marks on his arms from last time, when her nails had split skin and drawn blood while forcing him against a wall, and a bruise on hip from being thrown to the floor.
Today they didn't seem inclined to bring their bickering to bed, though. Julien spread his legs easily enough for her, and the sounds he made around Occtis as she slipped rough fingers into him made him harden even more.
Occtis studied her closely, two fingers, pressed in quickly to get that punched out groan. Then twisting, to spread the oil she had explained once, and then another finger. He had seen Julien take her with just the oil before, the wrecked sounds he had made were tucked away somewhere deep and private inside his mind. But tonight she was using her fingers first, long and dark and graceful as they worked in and out of him the way she'd sometimes press them to Occtis's mouth.
"Alright boy let's get this show on the road.... Sorry Occtis, I'm going to move him, baby... " And just like that Julien was on top of him, pressed chest to chest. Occits pulled him close, guided that panting mouth to his neck so he could watch Thaisha press inside of him. And if his hand tightened a little too much in that dark hair right as her cock - fuck her cock was so big he didn't know how Julien or Vaelus took it - pressed inside him, well no one would notice the sound he made being any different.
"Hey..." A softer voice got his attention, oh. Vaelus was very naked and right there and he couldn't quite keep the hand that wasn't holding Julien close from running up one thigh, feeling the scars and marks that ran over most of her body.
She was perhaps the most beautiful person Occtis had ever seen.
"Is this seat taken?" Occtis could imagine the smile under the veil as a hand caressed his cheek. Vaelus always asked. He has over-heard an argument between her and Julien about that, once. He thought it was ridiculous, 'like I'd ever say no to you, elf'. Later that night he had watched vaelus take him apart with barely more than soft words and touches, reduced him to almost incoherent pleading and then left him wanting and vexed in Occtis's arms. His tone had had more respect in it the next day, as well as something else that Occtis had not been able to quite place but brought out the new ragged wants that he didn't dare look at too closely.
"Saved it just for you, m'lady." He smiled up at her, using his free hand to help guide there. This was a new skill he was eager to practice, and they'd all been so patient with him. Julien had tried to show him just what to do, but has gotten so lost in it, particularly with Thaisha insisting on holding his hair out of the way so Occits could see better, then using that to pull him off, to describe what he was doing and what he should be doing.
The next time they had switched places, Valeus relaxed and leaning back against Julien while he supported her legs. Occtis has gotten a closer look, curled up between her legs with his cheek resting against her thigh as Thaisha had demonstrated. He hadnt realized how long her tongue was, not abnormally so, but it seemed to come out just a bit more than a human's would, but it did make it easier to see what was happening, how she'd lick between the folds and then nuzzle with her whole face. How she'd use her hands to show him exactly where Vaelus's clit was, how to use soft lips and suction there and then the tip of her tongue, circles there and then lower, pressing deeper.
Vaelus was quieter than his other two companions in bed but that just made Occits more eager to draw those sounds from her.
And now it was his turn, accepting her eagerly, knowing these details of her anatomy well enough to lick and suck in the dark, in one of the few activities that made his lack of breathing a benefit.
It was a little strange, perhaps, that it was here, unseeing and unbreathing, but surrounded by Vaelus's scent and taste strong enough that if he focused he could get a sense of it, with his knight held tightly in his arms, able to hear and feel every thrust Thaisha made into him.... it was here that he felt the most alive.
runbrom x azune is elite my jaw dropped when brennan was like 'he is glaring at you intensly but on that insight its actually because he likes you' like thats crazy runbrom was seconds from lunging at that man.
It's so funny because there are certain characters I swear Brennen is TRYING to get in their pants and Azune is one of them. He has great chemistry with a wide variety of PCs (extended Fang family, Torn Banner, his fellow paladins, Murray, Bolaire, Tyranny, etc) , and then in rapid succession we get Varen, Harondus, Filoneus, King Gus, and now Runbrom (and Josefir?) ???
To be fair you'd have to do SOMETHING to overcome that guys lack of social awareness and gaydar.
Fortunately it seems that directness is a strength of the Einfassens. As well as. Well. Physical strength. For a guy who needs to get thrown around a room a bit.
I can totally see Runbrom just outright "You are a fine man and do honor to my house and you are physically very appealing and I am inviting you to join me in my bedroom for the purposes of sexual congress."
And Azune is just so RELIEVED that someone is speaking so directly to him that he's nodding and 'yes my lord' and following him before he really has time to process what is happening?
And when Runbrom laughs and tells him there's no need for titles in the bedroom, unless he's into that, as he's pushing him against a wall and again Azune takes a little too long to process and there's a groan and a little questioning... 'my lord?' and now Rumbrom is assuming it very much IS a Thing for Azune (and it's not like he's... wrong exactly).
[cutting for length and probably some smut because I know myself and I'm probably gonna go off here]
And then he's ordering him out of his clothes and onto a bed and they both naked and Azune is eating up the little words of praise that come after every order he follows - to lay down, spread your legs, hips up a bit, a little more, just like that, now relax, give me your hands - and then the orders become more physical, putting him in just the right position, pinning his hands at his back (just how BIG are Runbrom's hands if his fingers can circle both of Azune's wrists!).
And the fingers inside him are just as big, stretching and slicking him, it's not a tender act, it's not gentle, but it's not cruel either, and it's exactly what Azune needs, his own arousal almost secondary as he's opened up and fuck Rumborn is big and there's a moment he thinks the hurt will tip over into injury but it doesn't, but it's enough to push every thought out of his head when he starts to thrust inside him, like his body can't contain both anxiety and Einfassan cock at the same time.
When Runbrom finally comes inside him him and tells him he's a good boy for waiting but he can come now Azune just about blacks out with how hard he comes. And there's a moment when he's worried that means he didn't do a good job but Runbrom just laughs and tell him no, it just means Azune is Very Compatible with their house, and he's not exactly sure what that means other than no one is putting a hammer through his skull yet so that's probably good?
He's not quite sure why Murray's face does That Thing when he debriefs with her.
He has even less idea what's up with Hal and Bolaire's faces when Murray turns around and tells them.
He's not sure why they don't want to go back, he's not sure how to explain how much he's looking forward to Runbrom's promise that he'll let him know the next time he's in Dol-Makjar and how he should clear an entire night for him for a longer exploration of just how compatible they might be.
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The underlying idea is that in some people ā and I stress some people ā chronic illness might look like this: a very ancient and primitive part of the brain and nervous system believes it has detected danger, possibly a tiger or something like that, and so it produces pain or a whole range of symptoms in an effort to get the sufferer to close down and protect herself. The nervous system does this very effectively and it can carry on doing it for decades. It is really very inventive. I feel that mine ought to be eligible for some sort of prize.
There's this perception, I've noticed, that if you're going to have a cultural conception of something like "mental health" in your fictional setting it has to be like Ideal, it needs to be the ideal version of mental health awareness/conception/care or it needs to not exist at all even a little. Does that make sense.
Similarly there's also this idea that either a character knows what therapy is, has had some, and has had an overwhelmingly positive experience and result from it, or they have literally no concept of therapy at all, like Harry Du Bois not knowing that he's a cop style. Total blank. Very odd.
The options are not "this story takes place in the Instagram infographic universe" or "you get nothing. Everyone has a caveman's understanding of what depression is." is all I'm saying. Make a setting with a concept of mental health that sucks. Send the character to therapy that doesn't work. Officially diagnose them with something that sucks and is absolutely going to be taken out of the in-universe dsm in a couple of editions. Try something difference.
i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while
i think it's really fun when a rly specific trope is super popular in one particular medium but in other ones it's just totally unheard of. it's the time knife. visual novel players are suuuuper used to death games but many others encountered them for the first time in squid games. the other day my mom showed me all excited the summary of a super original novel she found and it was about a girl who got reincarnated as the main character in her favorite fantasy book
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āBecause the truth is, tech doesnāt have an image problem. It doesnāt have a message problem. It has an intention problem. Whatās wrong with the axe murderer who broke into my house is not that he hasnāt successfully persuaded me to buy into his narrative. Whatās wrong is that heās trying to kill me with an axe. Similarly, when you launch a product thatās designed to put millions of people out of work, block access to sources of verifiable truth, replace human creativity with slop, and lower the barriers to every sort of atrocity, the problem isnāt that you havenāt told the public a good story about those things. The problem is that you are trying to do them.ā
I still like the term parental unit that we used to use as a joke in middle school and high school. Did everyone else do that or was it just a my social circles thing?
Anyways telling the kids to go collect their parental units at the end of an event is a) funny b) gender neutral and c) just refers to the person currently doing your parenting
Also if youāre on joking terms with your parents āgreetings, childā āgreetings, parental unitā is a top tier greeting. Makes you sound like robot aliens.
'this story is a tragedy because along the way we got just enough glimpses of alternate timelines and barely-averted prophecies to know that somehow, the way it turned out is the best it could have gone'
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not the best pics bc the lighting on the back porch isn't great and also its the back porch. and the cone makes her face hard to see. but we went to visit her and say goodbye bc she is going to the shelter tomorrow. I'm sad about it. I'm glad we won't have to deal with the treatment but I'm sad that it was beyond our ability to keep helping. I wish she hadn't had ringworm bc I think we could have done it if not for that, but. what if the world was made of pudding!!!!
my mom wrote a long letter to the shelter staff/any future foster or home telling them what she is like and what she needs šš I hope she finds a good good home. Shes such a good girl.
"After they overheard that ICE was at the courthouse to arrest someone, they improperly accessed court databases to determine who was not born in the United States," a DOJ detention filing says. "They then snuck every suspected illegal alien who was at the courthouse out a back door, where ICE, who was waiting in the parking lot for their target to leave the building, could not see them."
Think about what you can do at your job or in your daily life to resist fascism when the opportunity presents itself!