how do you want to do this?

yesterday? blorbo stuff. today? blorbo stuff. tomorrow? you'll never guess

unleashing the skeleton army on an unsuspecting populace?

yes god finally one of you gets it

there is very little that makes me more insane than The Character™ wearing casual clothing

(To the tune of Rasputin): BLEH BLEH DRACULA, KING OF TRANSYLVANIA, HE IS A BAT AND ALSO A MAN

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

me when I’m filled with an indescribable amount of yearning for a fictional man

A soulslike set in Ravenloft would be hilarious because, okay, yeah, it's got the whole King Big Sad Guy, Who Did The Flame Thing deal, except most Darklords are pissant local powers whose hubris only broke reality for a few dozen square miles, so you'd end up touring a miniature version of every possible Gothic post-apocalypse.

Here's Castle Dracula and its immediate environs with the serial numbers filed off. Over the mountains are eight city blocks of Renaissance Venice inexplicably ruled by were-rats. Across the river is Evil Shakespeare Land, the domain of Evil Shakespeare. No, he doesn't call himself that, but you know it's him.

And you get to have diagetic mist curtains before the boss fights!

mystery knight arrives at the tourney on a vicious black stallion, immediately unhorsed in the first joust & under the armor is only a baby bird and nothing else

Do you think the wizard will be mad at me if I keep using his spell books to press flowers? :/ I have a craft in mind

No, but more importantly- How did you get in here?