don't make me look bad

Don’t assume you know me based on 8,000 confessional posts.

being 25 is like: im dying. im living my best life. im a failure. my life hasnt started. everything interesting has already happened to me. im achieving my dreams. im cutting my hair with kitchen scissors. im starting a skincare routine. im a corporate professional. im a sellout. im out of groceries. i have too many groceries. i am never going to be successful. i am going to win a hugo award before im 30. im crazy. im boring. i need to finish this essay. i need to finish this story. i need to start a newsletter. i need to start tweeting more. i need to stop tweeting. i need to ghost all my friends. i need to tell my friends i love them. i need to find a new apartment. i need to take out the trash. i am the trash that needs to be taken out. 

im a hoe but a shy hoe. a shoe

if you’re on tumblr and over the age of 24 it means the mental illness won

Today I learned Jake Gyllenhaal should be murdered.

we should be able to rotate desktop programs freely

do i want to live in an early 2000s film’s idea of what a hacker’s computer looks like?

unrestrained summer fun

sorry i forgot to reply i dont feel fucking alive

widely detested female character my beloved

you will never be too much for someone who can’t get enough of you

i just think if i have to decide what to have for dinner one more fucking time im gonna start throwing things

Fucking hate clients and customers and employers and buyers and sellers like go die in hell

Humans have been giving their pets god names for millennia, not knowing that they actually bestow upon them the gods power. But it’s divided amongst all pets with the same name, so ultimately quite harmless. This morning, by a quirk of fate, yours is the only cat named Zeus.

Potential crisis prevented- my cat is already neutered.