It's Xanax O'Clock

i feel like i enjoy lana del rey a healthy amount. you know what i mean. she’s like the drunk aunt who will never listen to your advice about her life which she desperately needs but you still like hearing her wild stories at family get togethers. “i dated a coke dealer who took me to horse races” like cool aunt lana nobody asked

please my friends are doing psychedelics and for whatever reason one of them asked me if I have anything to read and I checked my bag and all I have us Dante’s Inferno

hey man looks like you’re enjoying your high. off topic but have you thought about hell lately and what it would be like to be there forever and ever and ever and

they’re doing land acknowledgements at the pro genocide convention

Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted to get hit by a car in a way that would make me a lot of money

cats are really good at looking at things. very useful

having two cats essentially means you have a bug and rodent triangulation system. if they are both looking at something you know for damn sure there is some unauthorised fucking thing there.

when he says "warm touching warm... reaching out... touching me, touching you" in sweet caroline. that's some shit koko the gorilla would say in sign language

Hoid is literally the bard of a DnD party that got in way over their heads and killed God. And now he is stuck trying to clean up the mess

a canon event for every oldest daughter is being told “you would be a good lawyer”