*in spider-man voice* Alright let’s do this one more time
An art gifting game

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@drakiandh
*in spider-man voice* Alright let’s do this one more time
An art gifting game

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
im gonna put Churc6 ideas here with the unfinished posters since i might just write this longfic
Churc6 (Church) is an alternative heavy rock band. All 6 members dress up as demons with heavy makeup and costumes to hide their identities because they value their personal lives. The idea took heavy inspiration from bands like Ghost, Voltaire, and Sleep Token.
conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 89 (masterpost here) *follow up to part 74
Tim: we could go through the west side? there's a really good ice cream place we can stop at if we go past it.
Damian: do they have salted caramel?
Tim: any respectable ice cream place has salted caramel, Dami. of course they do.
Damian: ok well i'm just checking, you don't have to be so-
*connecting ping*
*rushing wind*
Dick, panicked: guys, how close are you to the alley docks?
Tim, wary: uh- w- like a couple minutes if we rush? why, what’s wrong?
Damian: are you injured?
Dick: no we’re fine- it’s Jason, we were talking while he worked and then i heard a bunch of yelling and Jason screamed and then an explosion and he cut off and now he isn’t answering at all and i’m still like thirty minutes out and-
Damian: oh, Akhi’s fine, you shouldn’t worry about him. Timothy’s sense would alert him.
Dick, still audibly worried: um- ok but-
Damian: calm down, Nightwing. have some faith.
Tim: *starting to sound slightly worried* uh, well, we’ll go to the docks and check anyway, because actually i disconnected my fitbit a couple days ago…?
Dick: oh god, oh godohgodohgod-
Damian, flat: you disconnected your what now.
*a beat*
Tim, hesitant: we were gonna tell you-
Damian, seething: are you fucking kidding me-
Tim: WE DIDN’T THINK YOU’D ACTUALLY BELIEVE US-
Damian: THE WATCH!?!!? YOU SAID YOU HAD MAGIC.
Tim: -AND THEN WE FORGOT ABOUT IT, I’M SORRY,
Dick: GUYS I GENUINELY THINK HE’S HURT AND BRUCE IS OFF-PLANET YOU NEED TO HELP ME, ARGUE LATER.
Damian: fuck, he’s right. we’re going now. is Oracle still on vacation?
Dick: she’s in France with Spoiler and Orphan, *struggling to breathe, panicked* oh my god what if he- i shouldn’t have called him- i was distracting him so much what if i-
Tim: Wing, cool it, let us get there and assess the damage first.
Damian: i can see smoke coming from the docks.
Dick: fuck. i’m gonna keep trying to contact Hood, you guys get there now.
*disconnecting ping*
Tim: he’ll be fine, Day. this is Jason, he’s always fine.
Damian, shortly: yes, apart from when he’s not. do you know how mad Mother will be at me if i have to call and tell her he’s dead again?!
Tim: you won’t have to, he’s probably fine,
Damian: *bitter* yeah, sure, is that what the fucking watch tells you?
Tim: of for- YOU’RE THE ONE THAT BELIEVED US!
Damian: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIE?
Tim: IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY.
Damian: WELL IT’S NOT FUNNY NOW, IS IT?
TIM: I MEAN IT KINDA IS TO BE HONEST-
*connecting ping*
Jason: *wheeze* Red- *another wheeze* Red i need you to come meet this guy for me, this is really funny.
Tim: -JASON TELL DAMIAN TO STOP FUCKING YELLING AT- wait you’re alive?
Damian, worried: Akhi. status, now.
Jason, still amused: hm? what- why would i be dead?
Damian: are you injured?!
Jason, soothing: what? no, kiddo calm down, i’m fine. what the fuck’s up with y’all?
Tim: you’re FINE?! we’re like two minutes out from your location, Dick just came in here mid-fucking-panic-attack because he thought you’d died on call with him!
*pause*
Jason: ooooh, he- ah shit, yeah ok i see how that happened. in my defence i did just shoot him a text to say i was fine. i got distracted.
Tim: he said he heard a bunch of screaming and explosions-?
*connecting ping*
Dick: alright my bad y’all i didn’t see his text he’s fine.
Jason: yeah hi, what the fuck? you scared Damian.
Damian: i was not-
Tim: honestly he was more pissed that we lied about me having a magic Jason-danger sense.
Dick: sorry, sorry! brought back bad memories, deepest apologies.
Tim: i mean, shit clearly has gone down. where are you, there’s a bunch of rubble and fire over here.
Jason: yeah i’m by the water, i’m-
*distant groan, incomprehensible mumbles*
Jason: *wheeze* yeah man i’m getting him, calm down.
Dick: …who the fuck are you talking to?
Jason: ok... well what happened was, me and Wing were on a phone call while i tracked this gang war going down between these two factions in my territory that have been pissing each other off for the past few months. i wasn’t gonna intervene, i was more just there to check that things didn’t get too messy and get free entertainment, but while i was watching, this- *snickers* this really drunk guy- like fucking sloshed, absolutely off his face,
*distant drunken mumbles*
Jason: yeah- shut up, you absolutely are-, anyway. this dude comes wandering down the road singing to himself in the middle of this massive stand off, completely ignoring all these gang members telling him to fuck off out of there, and then he- *wheeze* he trips over this trip wire that one of the factions had set up, which triggered a bunch of landmines or something, and he just blew up the entire fucking area.
Tim: …what the fuck.
Jason: yeah! i dropped my phone in the chaos and only just found it; got distracted because all the survivors started shooting everything that moved—and technically this guy is a civilian so i had to go protect him, and *wheeze* i think we’re the only two that made it out???
Dick, dry: you have to be joking.
Jason: *wheezes again* no i’m completely serious!
Distant male voice, drunkenly: Red ROOBIIINNNNNNNNN~
Jason: yes i’m- *loud wheeze* *amused* I’M FUCKING GETTING HIM, HOLD ON.
Tim: wait, yeah- when you joined you specifically asked for me, why is that?
Jason: this guy-
Distant male voice: *still drunk, chanting* RED ROBINNNNNN, RED ROBINNNNN, RED ROBINNN,
Jason: *loses his shit* *in between cackles* he- he- *wheeze* he really wants to meet you, man!
Damian: holy shit, Timothy he found your one single fan.
Tim: are you... *pensive* really?
Jason: *still wheezing* c'mon man, i promised him he could meet you, and he did technically end a gang war in my neighbourhood.
Dick, amused: Jason he blew up a bunch of people on accident.
Jason: *laughs*
Dick: ...Tim go let this guy meet his favourite vigilante.
Tim, disappointed: oh my god. where are you?
Jason: if you can see the fire then you're nearby, let me send you my coords,
Distant male voice: 's he- s' gonna fly over here? 'cause i won the fight?
Jason, still kinda laughing: y-yeah man, he's gonna fly over to see you. he's gonna give you a medal.
Distant male voice: FUCK YEAH!
Tim: dear god, Jason.
Damian: oh, i have your location, we're literally just on the other side of the warehouse. i see you.
Jason: alright, buddy, what'd you say your name was?
*incomprehensible mumbling*
Jason: was that- Trent? yeah? alright, Trent, get ready to meet your hero!
*thud, boots against concrete*
Tim: jesus christ.
Dick: you need to- i'm still like twenty minutes away, you guys gotta paint me a picture.
Jason: you're still coming? i'm fine.
Dick: yeah i don't care, i'm gonna have to hold hands with you for the rest of the night.
Jason: god- the Red Hood and Nightwing dating allegations, man,
Dick: I DON'T CARE.
Damian: for the record, Red Robin's number one fan is approximately thirty-five years of age, is wearing American flag face paint on his face, and is in possession of a backpack with a solid three cases of beer inside, half of which are just empty cans.
Jason: average Red Robin fan.
Tim: *noise of realisation* ooooh, he's come from one of the bars showing the soccer match today,
*slightly muffled drunken cheering*
Damian, flatly: yeah he's definitely a fan.
Jason: *still snickering*
Tim: *sigh* *politely* uh, ok- hey, Trent right? Red Hood told me you wanted to meet me?
*incomprehensible drunken mumbling*
Tim: ...sorry?
Trent, slurring: SIGN MY CHEST.
Dick, gleeful: holy fuck,
Jason: *starts wheezing again*
Damian, clearly trying to hold back laughter: Hood- Hood get off the floor.
Jason: *continues crying-laughing*
Tim: um. no?
Trent, devasted: c'mon- c'mon you're GREAT! i have a- there's a pen somewhere, let me- sign me!
Damian: *finally wheezes*
Tim: yeah, i'm not- i don't really-
Dick: Tim stop being ungrateful to your fans and sign the nice man's nipples.
Jason: *laughs even louder*
Tim: ok- HE NEVER SAID NIPPLES,
Jason, breathless: but we all know that's what he wants, don't you Trent?
Trent: eh?
Jason: you want Red Robin to sign your nipples?
*a pause*
Trent: YEAHHHHHHHHHH~
Damian: Red, you might have to sign the man's nipples.
Tim: all of you can fuck right off.
Trent: i want- which one of you is Damian?
*silence*
Dick, suddenly serious: wait what the fuck?
Damian: ...where did you hear that name?
Trent, cheerfully drunk: Hood! he said it into his- his lil ear thingy- and then you two showed up! which of you is it??
Dick, exasperated: oh my god, Jason,
Jason: ok well- *snort* shit, my bad? Red just sign the dude's chest in exchange for silence, it's fine. he's blacked out anyway, he's not gonna fuckin' remember.
Damian: THAT'S NOT THE POINT- fuck, this is why Batman's always on your ass about saying names in the mask, you never pay attention to your surroundings!
Trent: nononononoooo- don't- hey, i'm not no snitch! we're good, we're- we're all friends, right? get in here-!
Tim: oh i don't usually like hugs-*grunt*
Jason: *starts snickering again*
Trent: just sign my- look, Hood gave me a sharpie! you can sign my chest! FOR THE GLORY OF GOTHAMMMMMMM!
Jason, gleeful: yeah, and in return for Red Robin signing your nipples, you'll never mention the name Damian again, right?
Trent: *eager affirmative noises*
*silence*
Damian: i swear to god, if you don't sign this fucking man's chest, i'm giving him your phone number.
Tim, begrudgingly: FINE. *pen uncapping* lift your- move your shirt.
Dick: cannot believe i'm missing this. Jay-
Jason: i got your back, baby boy, i'm filming it.
Dick: thank god.
Tim: *long-suffering sigh* ok, there. we good now?
Trent: *loud, drunken whoop, gradually getting further and further away*
Damian: ope- aaand off he goes. into the night.
Tim: that guy has problems.
Damian: because you're his favourite? i agree.
Jason: hey he's gettin' real close to the water. do you think-
*very distant splash*
*a beat*
Tim: at least that will wash off the signature?
Jason: nah i gave him a permanent marker, that guy's gonna have that thing for weeks.
Tim, exasperated: why would you do that?
Jason: hey, he wanted the signature, i was just-
Damian, casually: i don't think Trent can swim.
*another beat*
Damian, matter-of-fact: all you, Timothy. go get your number one fan.
Tim: you gotta be fucking kidding me,
Jason, slightly smug: he will also probably need mouth to mouth.
Tim: i wish the landmines actually had killed you.
6.5k
Jason`s MOM
The neon of Crime Alley did not illuminate; it bled. It stained the rain-slicked asphalt a bruised purple, throwing long, distorted shadows against the peeling brick of tenements that had been dying since before the Waynes fell.
In Gotham, you either became the teeth or you became the meat.
You had chosen the teeth a long time ago. Specifically, ten years ago, on a night when the rain smelled of iron and cheap gin, and the world decided to rip away whatever soft, naive girl you had been. The man who had trapped you in that dead-end alley didn't have a face you remembered anymore; he only had the shape of a nightmare. But out of that violation, out of the blood and the shattering of your youth, a heartbeat had formed.
Jason.
The day he was born in a squalid, freezing room with only a rusted radiator for warmth, you had looked into his glassy, newborn eyes and made a silent, terrifying vow to whatever gods ignored the slums of Gotham: I will be the monster so he doesn't have to be, so that no harm will ever be able to reach him. My baby.
To the pushers, the pimps, and the loan sharks who crawled through the gutters of the Narrows, you were a ghost with a switchblade. You were the cold, merciless shadow that left broken jaws and severed fingers in your wake if anyone so much as breathed the wrong way near your door. You stole, you extorted, you broke bones, and you did it all with a face carved from stone. You were a heartless, terrifying creature to the rest of the world.
But to Jason, you were everything.
To Jason, your hands were never cold. When the fever took him during his third winter, those hands had bathed his forehead with melted snow. When the hunger clawed at his small stomach, you went three days without a crumb so he could eat a bruised apple and a slice of stale bread, whispering old stories into his hair until he fell asleep. You were the only soft thing in his violent universe, a secret sanctuary built inside a fortress of iron and malice.
"Ma?" Jason’s voice drifted through the small, damp kitchen. He was nine now, growing too fast, his ribs still showing through his thin shirt despite your best efforts. He was adjusting the strap of an oversized backpack. "I'm heading out. Just... looking for scrap near the borders. Maybe some discarded copper."
You looked up from the table where you were carefully cleaning a rusted but functional snub-nosed revolver. Your eyes, usually sharp enough to cut glass, softened instantly as they landed on him.
"Don't go past Park Row, Jaybird," you said, your voice low and steady. "The Falcone boys are moving shipments tonight. Keep your head down. If someone looks at you, you don't look back. You take their eyes out if they touch you. Understand?"
"Yeah, Ma. I know the rules." He smiled, a genuine, crooked thing that he only ever showed to you. "Love you."
"I love you more than the stars, Jason. Back before midnight."
But midnight came, and the rusted clock on the wall ticked past one. Then two. Then three.
By dawn, the cold panic that you had buried ten years ago began to claw its way up your throat. Jason was a street rat, but he was your street rat; he never missed check-in without a reason. You combed the alleys, your coat collar turned up against the biting wind, your hand resting on the knife in your pocket. You asked no questions—you demanded answers. You dragged a low-level informant by his ear into a dark alcove, pressing the cold steel of your blade against his throat until he wept.
"I don't know nothing about the kid!" the man shrieked. "But—but word on the block is someone tried to strip the Batmobile last night down by the theater! The big freak himself caught 'em!"
Your heart stopped. Then, it turned to pure, unadulterated fire.
************
Jason hadn't meant to get stuck.
When he had stumbled upon the sleek, impossibly expensive tank of a car parked in the deepest shadows of Crime Alley, he hadn't seen the dark myth of Gotham. He had seen a ticket out. Specifically, he had seen four custom, high-grade titanium-alloy tires that could fetch enough on the black market to pay their rent for three years, buy a functioning heater, and get his mother the medicine she kept hiding under the sink.
He had managed to get one wheel off with a stolen lug wrench before a massive, caped shadow blocked out the streetlights.
Batman hadn't struck him. Instead, the giant had looked at the scrawny, defiant kid with the tire iron raised like a sword, and he had done something worse: he had taken him.
Now, Jason was sitting in a bedroom that was larger than their entire apartment. It was located inside Wayne Manor—a fact he had deduced from the monogrammed towels and the sheer, nauseating wealth oozing from every mahogany panel. The billionaire, Bruce Wayne, had brought him here, claiming he wanted to "help" him, to give him a chance.
But Jason didn't want a chance. He wanted to go home.
The first night, he had tried to slip out the window, but the motion sensors had flared. The second night, he tried the service stairs, but the terrifyingly polite British butler, Alfred, had been waiting with a tray of warm cookies and a raised eyebrow. By the fifth day, Jason realized he couldn't leave unnoticed. He was trapped in a golden cage.
Worse, he had tried to do what he originally came to do: steal something valuable enough to make the risk worth it. He had slipped a heavy, silver-and-diamond pocket watch from a display case in the study into his pocket. But with the security tight and the Butler constantly hovering like an elegant hawk, he couldn't find a blind spot to escape with the prize.
Panic, cold and sharp, began to settle into his chest. Ma is going to burn this city down, he thought, staring out the rain-streaked window of his massive bedroom. She thinks I'm dead. Or worse.
He didn't know how right he was.
*****************
In the damp darkness of your apartment, the floorboards were covered in maps, newspaper clippings, and police scanner transcripts.
You were not just a street brawler. The streets required brute force to survive, but they required a brilliant mind to conquer. Over the years, you had taught yourself how to read the city’s shifting patterns. You knew the patrol routes of the GCPD better than the commissioners did. And you knew the Bat.
It hadn't taken you long to connect the dots. The Batmobile had been tampered with. The boy was gone. No bodies had been found in the morgues, and none of the local gangs were bragging about killing a kid. Batman didn't kill, but he confiscated. He had taken your son.
"You think you can just pluck a bird from my nest?" you whispered to the empty room, your fingers tracing the grid of Gotham's rooftops. "You think because you wear a cape and armor, you're the only monster in this town?"
You knew you couldn't take Batman in a straight, head-on fistfight. He was a tank; you were a scalpel. You needed leverage. You needed to strike him where it would paralyze him.
You spent forty-eight hours straight watching the sky, monitoring the frequencies, and mapping the movements of his colorful little shadow—the Robin. The boy wonder. The golden child who flew through the air while your son starved in the dirt.
A son for a son. It was old testament justice. The only kind Gotham understood.
On a rainy Thursday night, you set the trap.
Using your deep, terrifying network of coerced informants and underground channels, you leaked an incredibly precise, high-value piece of intelligence to a known contact of the Bat. It was the exact coordinate, time, and manifest of a major illegal arms shipment being moved through the docks by the Maroni crime family. It was too big for Batman to ignore.
Just as you predicted, the Bat took the bait. But he didn't go alone. He brought the boy.
From your vantage point on the crane overlooking the rainy shipping yard, you watched through a pair of cracked binoculars. The fight went exactly as expected. Batman and Robin dropped from the skylight, tearing through the Maroni thugs like a hurricane. But you had added a variable. You had anonymously tipped off a rival gang, the Bertinellis, telling them that Maroni was being ambushed and their turf was wide open for a slaughter.
Chaos erupted. Gunfire shattered the night. The shipping container area became a maze of smoke, flashbangs, and screaming men.
Batman was forced to dive into a cluster of heavily armed men to protect a group of trapped dockworkers. He was separated from his partner by a wall of shipping containers and a sudden, massive explosion you had rigged to a fuel line.
Robin—Dick Grayson—was cut off. He handled himself well, flipping over a thug and knocking him out with a precise kick, but as he landed, a sudden, blinding pain exploded in his leg.
A sniper round? No. A precisely thrown, heavy iron bolt from a high-powered slingshot, aimed directly at his knee joint.
Dick stumbled, his balance shattered. Before he could recover, a shadow dropped from the top of the container behind him.
You didn't hesitate. You didn't feel a shred of pity for the boy in the bright red vest. You slammed the butt of your stolen stun-baton directly into the base of his skull. The electricity surged through him, and the boy wonder went limp in your arms.
With practiced, terrifying efficiency, you stripped him of his utility belt, tearing it away and tossing it directly into the deep, churning black water of the Gotham harbor. You found the small tracker stitched into his collar and sliced it out with your knife, crushing it beneath your boot.
Within ninety seconds, you had the boy loaded into the back of a stolen, unmarked laundry van. By the time Batman broke through the smoke, roaring his partner's name into the empty night, you were already miles away, melting into the dark, suffocating embrace of Crime Alley.
*****************
The apartment smelled of damp concrete, old paper, and the sharp, medicinal tang of rubbing alcohol.
Dick Grayson woke up with a groan, his head pounding in rhythm with his heartbeat. He tried to move his hands, but they were bound tightly behind his back with high-tensile nylon cord—the kind that bit deeper the more you struggled. He was sitting on a hard wooden chair in the middle of a dimly lit kitchen.
"Don't struggle," a voice said from the shadows. "You'll only give yourself rope burn, and I've just finished cleaning your knee."
Dick blinked, his vision clearing. A woman stepped into the light of the single, flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling. She didn't look like the Rogue’s Gallery monsters he usually fought. She didn't have a painted face or a gimmick. She wore a faded flannel shirt, dark jeans, and a coat that had seen too many winters. But her eyes—cold, calculating, and completely devoid of fear—made his breath hitch.
"Who are you?" Dick demanded, trying to keep his voice steady, the way Bruce taught him. "Where is Batman? If you think—"
"I don't care what you think," you interrupted, stepping closer. You picked up a damp cloth and a bottle of antiseptic. Despite his instinct to flinch, you moved with an eerie, practiced precision, kneeling in front of him to tend to the nasty gash on his leg from the docks. "I am the one asking questions. You are going to tell me exactly where the Bat takes the things he steals."
"We don't steal anything!" Dick snapped, wincing as the alcohol bit into his skin.
You tightened the bandage around his knee with a sharp, warning tug. "He took my son. Five days ago. A boy with dark hair, tatred clouths, and blue eyes. He took him from Park Row. Where is he?"
Dick’s mind raced. The kid from the tires. Bruce had brought a street kid to the manor a week ago, trying to keep him safe, trying to figure out how to handle him. Bruce had said the kid was an orphan. He said the kid had no one.
"Jason?" Dick breathed. "You're... you're his mother?"
"Where is he?" you repeated, your voice dropping to a dangerous, icy whisper. You reached into your pocket, the distinct click of a switchblade echoing in the small room. You didn't threaten him with words; the look in your eyes told him everything he needed to know. You would carve this city to pieces to find your child.
"He's safe!" Dick said quickly, his heart hammering. "I swear! He's at Wayne Manor. Bruce—Batman—he didn't kidnap him to hurt him. He caught him stealing and saw how bad his living conditions were. He wanted to help him!"
You let out a harsh, bitter laugh that sent shivers down the boy's spine. "Help him? A billionaire in a playground of gold wants to help a child from the gutters? He took him without my consent. He locked him away. In my world, that is a kidnapping. And in my world, you pay for what you take."
You stood up, looking down at the young Robin. Dick expected a beating. He expected the harsh, brutal torture he had seen from Arkham escapees.
Instead, you sighed, a deeply human, exhausted sound. You walked over to the rusted stove, where a pot of simple chicken broth was simmering. You filled a bowl, brought it over, and untied his hands.
"Eat," you commanded.
Dick stared at the bowl, then at his hands, then at you. "You're... you're not going to hurt me?"
"I am a mother, not a savage," you said coldly, sitting across from him, your eyes never leaving his face. "You are leverage. But until the exchange is made, you will be fed, and you will be tended to. Eat before it gets cold."
The broth was warm, seasoned with wild herbs you had gathered from the small cracks in the city's concrete. It tasted better than half the five-star meals Dick had eaten at galas. As he ate, the exhaustion of the fight and the throbbing of his concussion began to weigh heavily on him.
"Go wash up," you said, pointing to a tiny bathroom through a peeling door. "There is hot water. Use the soap."
When Dick emerged twenty minutes later, wearing a pair of Jason’s oversized, old sweatpants, he found a small cot set up near the radiator. The sheets were faded and patched, but they smelled intensely of lavender and cheap laundry detergent.
He hesitated, looking at you. You were sitting on the edge of the cot, your fingers idly sharpening a hunting knife against a whetstone. Scritch. Scritch.
"Get in," you said.
Dick crawled into the bed, his body aching. The room was freezing, the wind howling through the poorly sealed window glass, but the blanket was heavy. He shivered, curling into a ball. He was fourteen years old, a hero to the city, but right now, in the dark of a moldy slum, he felt incredibly small. He felt the crushing, hollow ache that had lived in his chest ever since the night his parents fell from the trapeze.
You looked at the boy. You saw the way his shoulders shook. You saw the raw, exposed grief in his eyes—the same look you saw in the mirror every morning after that horrific night so long ago.
You closed the knife and slid it into your boot. Slowly, deliberately, you sat on the edge of the mattress. You didn't say a word. You simply reached out and began to run your fingers through his damp, dark hair, untangling the knots with a gentleness that seemed entirely impossible for a woman who had just dismantled a multi-million-dollar tactical tracker an hour prior.
Dick stiffened at first. Then, with a soft, broken sob, he leaned forward, burying his face against your thigh, his small hands gripping the fabric of your jeans. He cuddled into your side, seeking the warmth, seeking the rhythm of a mother’s heartbeat.
"I miss her," Dick whispered into the dark, his voice cracking. "I miss my mom so much."
Your hand didn't stop its soothing rhythm. Your fingers stroked his hair, over and over, anchoring him to the earth. "I know, little bird," you murmured, your voice no longer the monster of the docks, but the sanctuary of the nest. "I know. Sleep now. Tomorrow, you go home."
*****************
The Batcave was bathed in the harsh, sterile blue light of the supercomputer.
Bruce Wayne had not taken off his cowl, but his face was pale, his jaw clenched so tightly it looked ready to shatter. He had been staring at the monitors for six hours. The tracking signal on Dick's suit had vanished near the harbor. The utility belt had been recovered by a diving drone, sliced cleanly with a military-grade edge.
There were no ransom notes. There were no demands from the Joker, no riddles from Nygma, no toxin signatures from Crane.
It was a ghost.
"I don't understand," Bruce growled, his fists slamming into the steel console. "There was no chatter on the underworld lines. No one is taking credit for this. Whoever took him knew exactly how to bypass the localized encryption on the Robin suit."
"Perhaps, Master Bruce, you are looking for the wrong kind of criminal," Alfred said, his voice unusually strained as he stood behind the chair, a tray of untouched coffee resting in his hands.
"What do you mean, Alfred? I've run every cross-reference—"
"Look at the physical clues left at the docks, sir," Alfred pointed to a high-resolution photograph of the shipping container where Dick had vanished. Scratched deeply into the rusted iron, written with the jagged edge of a broken bolt, were five words:
A SON FOR A SON.
Bruce stared at the screen, his mind spiraling through a thousand possibilities, trying to calculate which of his past sins had crawled out of the dark to exact vengeance.
"Hey."
A small, hesitant voice echoed from the elevator platform.
Bruce and Alfred both snapped their heads around. Jason was standing there, wearing an oversized Gotham Knights sweatshirt, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He looked tired, his eyes wide as he took in the massive, subterranean cavern for the first time. He had finally broken out of his room, wandering down the hidden stairs out of sheer boredom and growing anxiety.
"What are you doing down here, Jason?" Bruce said, his voice cracking with a mixture of exhaustion and protective anger. "Go back upstairs. It's not safe."
Jason didn't listen. His eyes skipped past the giant penny, past the mechanical T-Rex, and landed directly on the massive, central monitor screen. He saw the photograph of the shipping container. He read the scratched words.
A SON FOR A SON.
A massive, radiant grin broke across Jason's face. The anxiety that had weighed on his chest for a week vanished in a single, breathy exhalation.
"Mama," he beamed.
The cave went dead silent, save for the hum of the cooling fans.
Bruce froze, his cowl framing a look of sheer, unadulterated confusion. Alfred lowered the tray, his brow furrowing.
"What?" Bruce asked, his voice low, dangerous, and utterly baffled. "Jason... what did you just say?"
"I said, that's my Ma," Jason said, his voice dripping with absolute pride and a smug, dark satisfaction. He walked right up to the supercomputer console, pointing a dirty fingernail at the screen. "That's her handwriting. Well, her carving. She used to do that to the doors of landlords who tried to lock us out."
Bruce stood up, his massive frame towering over the boy. "Your mother? Jason, your file said your mother died of an overdose three years ago. Catherine Todd—"
"Catherine was my step-mom, you idiot," Jason scoffed, crossing his arms and looking up at the Batman without a hint of fear. "She raised me for a bit when Ma had to go underground after she took the teeth out of a Black Mask crew. My real Ma is alive. And you just spent a week keeping her kid in a giant mansion without letting her know."
Jason laughed, a sharp, mocking sound that sounded entirely too old for a ten-year-old. He looked directly into Bruce's white lens-eyes. "You think you're the scariest thing in this city, old man? You haven't seen my Ma when she's pissed. This? Taking your bird? This is just the intro. She's gonna make your life a living hell until she gets me back. You're completely screwed."
Alfred slowly turned his gaze from the monitor to his employer. The look on the old butler's face was colder than the winter outside.
"Master Bruce," Alfred said, his voice clipped and trembling with an aristocratic fury. "Am I to understand that you did not, in fact, rescue an abandoned orphan from the streets... but rather, you kidnapped a child from his living mother?"
"Alfred, I didn't know!" Bruce defended himself, his hands coming up in a rare moment of genuine vulnerability. "He was stripping the Batmobile in Crime Alley at one in the morning! He was malnourished! Every agency report in the district indicated he was flying solo!"
Jason let out a loud, theatrical whistle. "Hey, Big Bats, I never said I didn't have a family. You asked me if anyone was waiting for me at the apartment on Miller Street, and I said no. Because Ma and I moved to a different squat on 4th three months ago so the Falcones wouldn't find us. I told you I had to survive somehow. I never said I was an orphan. You just assumed because I was dirty."
Alfred took a deep breath, adjusting his waistcoat. "An absolutely appalling display of detective work, sir. Truly. I believe you have met your match, and frankly, it is entirely deserved."
Bruce rubbed his temples, the cowl slipping slightly. The realization hit him like a physical blow: he wasn't dealing with a supervillain retaliation. He was dealing with a feral, brilliant mother whose child he had inadvertently stolen.
"Where," Bruce growled, looking down at Jason, "is she now?"
*****************
The next morning, the rain had stopped, leaving Crime Alley shrouded in a thick, gray fog that smelled of sulfur and wet coal.
A sleek, black town car pulled up to the curb of an abandoned, crumbling brick tenement on 4th Street. The luxury vehicle looked like an alien spacecraft amidst the rusted-out sedans and piles of uncollected garbage.
Bruce Wayne stepped out of the driver's seat. He wasn't wearing the cape. He wore an expensive, tailored charcoal overcoat, but beneath the fabric, his muscles were tense, ready for an ambush. Behind him, Jason hopped out of the passenger side, practically vibrating with excitement. Alfred sat in the back seat, his face grimly expectant.
Jason didn't wait for Bruce. He tore up the cracked concrete steps of the tenement, throwing open the heavy, rusted outer door and sprinting up the dark, mold-encrusted stairwell to the third floor.
"Ma! Ma, I'm home!" Jason yelled, throwing open the door to apartment 3B.
You were standing by the window, an old iron skillet in one hand and your eyes trained on the door. The moment Jason burst through, your cold, terrifying facade shattered into a million pieces. You dropped the skillet with a loud clatter, falling to your knees as your arms opened wide.
"Jaybird!" you cried, your voice breaking.
Jason threw himself into your embrace, slamming his face into your neck. You held him so tightly his ribs popped, your fingers digging into his hair, your tears spilling freely onto his shoulder. You kissed his temples, his cheeks, his forehead, checking his arms, his legs, his face for any sign of harm.
"Are you hurt? Did he touch you? Did that bastard do anything to you?" you hissed, your voice a lethal mixture of maternal desperation and feral rage.
"No, Ma, I'm fine, I swear!" Jason giddily rambled, burying his face deeper into your shirt. "I was just stuck! The mansion has all these crazy laser sensors, and the butler keeps making these stupidly good chocolate chip cookies, and I tried to steal this crazy silver watch but I couldn't get past the kitchen hall without him seeing me—"
A heavy, imposing shadow filled the doorway.
You instantly shifted. In a fraction of a second, Jason was behind your back, and your hand had whipped into the sleeve of your coat, drawing a long, wicked-looking trench knife. Your eyes locked onto the man standing in your entry.
Bruce Wayne.
He was massive, filling the entire doorframe, his blue eyes taking in the room with a single, sweeping glance. He saw the peeling wallpaper, the black mold crawling up the corners of the ceiling, the single mattress on the floor with two thin blankets, and the absolute lack of any real food save for a few cans of salt-pork and dried beans.
"You," you spat, your teeth bared like a wolf guarding her pup. "You take one step closer to my son, and I will see what color your insides are, billionaire."
Bruce didn't raise his hands to fight. He looked at you, then his eyes drifted past your shoulder to the small, rickety dining table in the corner.
Sitting at the table, happily swinging his legs, was Dick Grayson. He was wearing an oversized flannel shirt of yours, a massive bowl of sugary cereal in front of him, and he was idly flipping through a battered, coverless copy of a medical textbook.
"Hey, Bruce," Dick said around a mouthful of milk. "Her cooking is awesome. Do we have to leave yet? She was gonna teach me how to sew up a laceration using a chicken breast later."
Bruce blinked, the sheer absurdity of the scene momentarily short-circuiting his formidable brain. His Robin—the boy he had spent the night panicking over—was completely safe, perfectly fed, and looked more relaxed than he had in months.
"Dick," Bruce said, his deep voice carrying a wave of immense relief. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I told you, she patched my knee," Dick said, pointing to the neat, perfectly executed medical wrap around his leg. "She's really good at stitches. She did it without an anesthetic kit, just ice and clean water. Didn't even hurt that much."
Bruce turned his attention back to you. The knife in your hand hadn't wavered an inch. Your weight was distributed perfectly on the balls of your feet; your guard was flawless. He recognized the stance—it wasn't the sloppy form of a street thug. It was the tight, economical posture of someone who lived through violence and perfected it.
"I apologize," Bruce said clearly, his voice echoing in the small apartment.
You scoffed, your grip tightening on the hilt. "You apologize? You stole my child for a week, Wayne. You kept him in your fortress. Do you know what happens to a mother in this district when her kid vanishes? They look for a body in the river. I spent five days preparing to bury my heart."
"I made a catastrophic assumption," Bruce said, taking off his gloves to show his bare, unarmed hands. "I saw a child alone, starving, trying to survive by criminal means. I believed he had no one. If I had known he had a mother—a mother who clearly cares for him—I would have approached this differently."
"Approach it differently?" you laughed bitterly. "By sending social services? By letting some corrupt city agency put him in a home where he'd be beaten or sold? No. I keep him safe. I am the only thing in this godforsaken city that keeps him alive."
Bruce looked around the apartment again. His heart, usually so guarded, felt a heavy tug of profound respect. He saw the books stacked in the corner—not just trashy novels, but advanced texts. He saw the meticulous cleanliness of a room that was physically rotting from the inside due to the slumlord's neglect.
"You shouldn't have to live like this," Bruce said softly. "Neither of you."
"We don't need your charity, Mr. Wayne," you snapped, lowering the knife slightly but keeping your body between him and Jason. "We survive. I've on my own for survived fifteen years without a single dime from Bristol township, and we'll survive fifteen more. Take your boy and get out of my house."
"Wait, Ma," Jason whispered, tugging on your shirt. "Listen to him. He's... he's not like the other rich pricks. He's weird, but he's not cruel."
Bruce stepped into the room, Alfred appearing behind him with a gentle, supportive nod.
"It's not charity," Bruce said, looking you directly in the eyes. "It's an offer of employment. And an alliance."
You narrowed your eyes. "Employment? What could a monster from Crime Alley possibly do for the great Bruce Wayne?"
"My butler, Alfred, requires assistance maintaining the estate," Bruce said, though his eyes told a different story—he saw your skill, your strategy, your capability. He knew you had bypassed his tech. He knew you had ghosted his city. "And more importantly, my child requires someone who understands the realities of this city in a way I am still learning to navigate. I can offer you a home. Secure housing, high-grade medical care for Jason, and a proper allowance."
You stared at him, your mind working at lightning speed, analyzing the angles, looking for the trap. "And what's the catch? You want me to be a maid? A servant?"
"No," Bruce said. "I want you to be a mother. To Jason. And... if you're willing, to help me guide Dick. In return, I will provide you with something the streets could never give you: access to a real education. Tuition, books, a path to a legitimate university degree in whatever field you choose. No records of your past will follow you."
The knife slowly slipped back into your sleeve. Your breath caught. A degree. A real, legitimate life where you didn't have to carry a blade just to buy milk. A life where Jason could sleep without the sound of gunshots outside his window.
"I don't bow to anyone, Wayne," you warned, your voice dropping low. "If you try to control me, or if you ever try to come between me and my boy, I will burn that manor to the ground with you inside it."
A faint, incredibly rare smirk touched Bruce’s lips. "I would expect nothing less. Do we have an agreement?"
You looked down at Jason, whose eyes were wide with hope. You looked at Dick, who was smiling from the table.
"We do," you said.
*****************
Moving into Wayne Manor was an exercise in mutual culture shock.
The first two weeks were tense. You refused to sleep in the massive guest suite Bruce had assigned to you; instead, you dragged the blanket onto the floor of Jason’s room, sleeping by the door like a soldier in a bunker. You carried a concealed kneife in your pocket, and you treated every luxury—from the heated floors to the silver cutlery—with a deep, profound suspicion.
But as the weeks bled into a month, the ice began to thaw.
It started in the kitchen. Alfred had been preparing a traditional English roast when you silently appeared beside him, your movements so quiet the old man hadn't even heard the door open. Without a word, you took the chef's knife from his hand and began dicing vegetables with a speed and precision that made the veteran butler stop and stare.
"A very efficient technique, Miss," Alfred noted, raising an eyebrow.
"If you don't cut fast in the Narrows, someone takes the food before you finish," you said simply, your fingers moving in a blur. "The seasoning needs garlic. And real pepper. This stuff smells like dust."
Within a week, you and Alfred had formed a quiet, ironclad understanding. You took over the heavy meal preparations for the boys, infusing the rich, bland manor food with the sharp, vibrant spices of the cultural melting pot of Gotham's lower districts.
Then came the night Bruce found out exactly who he had brought into his home.
It was a rainy Tuesday night, and Bruce was sitting in the study, reviewing tactical files on a new smuggling ring operating out of the East End. He was stymied; the logistics didn't make sense. The shipments were vanishing from the docks but appearing in the city without using the main transit lines.
You walked into the study to drop off a cup of tea Alfred had made. You glanced over his shoulder at the map laid out on the mahogany desk.
"You're looking at the wrong grid," you said, your voice casual.
Bruce looked up, a pencil poised in his hand. "Pardon?"
You leaned over the desk, your finger pointing to a section of the map near the old water treatment facility. "The Maronis don't use the roads for this kind of weight. The trucks are a decoy to keep your little bat-ears busy. They're using the old pre-prohibition rum-runner tunnels. They run directly from pier 41 through the old brewery basement on 9th."
Bruce stared at the map, his brilliant mind instantly calculating the structural reality of what you had just said. It fit perfectly. The timing, the weight limits, the lack of surveillance footage—it all aligned.
"How do you know that?" Bruce asked, his voice laced with genuine fascination.
"I hid in those tunnels for three weeks when the Falcones put a price on my head ten years ago," you said, taking a sip from your own mug. "You learn the geometry of a city when you're the one being hunted, Mr. Wayne."
Over the next few hours, the tea went cold as Bruce began to show you more files. He was astonished. You weren't just perceptive; you were a master strategist. You didn't look at crime like a puzzle to be solved; you looked at it like an ecosystem to be disrupted. You knew the psychology of the street thugs because you had been the monster they feared.
"You spoke to the informant from the shipping dock in his native tongue," Bruce noted, referencing a audio log Dick had brought back from your interrogation. "Where did you learn conversational Russian?"
"And Italian. And Spanish. And Cantonese," you added, pulling up a chair and sitting across from him, completely unintimidated by the billionaire's intense stare. "And I can read Latin and old Romani."
Bruce’s eyes widened. "Where did you study?"
"The dumpster behind the Gotham Public Library and the street," you said, your voice entirely serious. "They throw out the older editions when they get water-damaged. I gathered them up, dried the pages by the radiator, and read them while Jason was sleeping. The Romani I learned from an old fortune teller who lived in the basement below our first squat. She was blind, so I cleaned her room and cooked her food, and she taught me her words."
The next day, Dick Grayson practically levitated with joy when he came down to breakfast and found you reading a book of Romani poetry aloud, your accent flawless and melodic. For the first time since his parents' death, Dick felt a deep, ancestral part of his heritage being acknowledged in his new home. He threw his arms around your waist, burying his face in your apron, and you didn't pull away. You simply stroked his hair, just like you had in the moldy apartment, welcoming him into your nest.
But the biggest revelation came during a medical emergency.
Bruce had returned from a brutal encounter with Killer Croc in the sewers. He had managed to crawl back to the Batcave, but his side was torn open—three deep, jagged lacerations that were pouring blood, contaminated with sewer filth. Alfred was frantic, preparing the antibiotics, but his hands, aging and strained, were shaking slightly as he tried to thread the surgical needle.
You descended the stairs into the cave, wearing your old flannel shirt, your face set in stone. You didn't flinch at the sight of the blood, or the massive, exposed cave, or the high-tech equipment.
"Move," you commanded Alfred, your voice leaving no room for argument.
You grabbed the surgical tray. You washed your hands with antiseptic with a terrifying, robotic efficiency. You leaned over Bruce’s massive, groaning form, your fingers instantly probing the edges of the wound.
"The muscle tissue isn't severed, but the dermal layer is shredded," you analyzed aloud, your voice perfectly calm, the tone of a seasoned trauma surgeon. "Alfred, I need the heavy-gauge nylon suture and the hydrogen peroxide. Now."
For twenty minutes, your hands were a blur of absolute, flawless precision. You cleaned the wound, debrided the contaminated tissue without a single wasted motion, and began throwing perfect, tight mattress stitches across his flank.
Bruce stared up at you through a haze of pain and painkillers. He saw the absolute focus in your eyes—the sheer, brilliant intellect guiding every movement of your fingers.
"Where..." Bruce gasped, his teeth gritted. "Where did you learn... to do this?"
"Two-year apprenticeship with Dr. Leslie Thompkins’ old partner, before he went to prison for treating unregistered patients," you said, tying off the last knot with a sharp, decisive flick. "And about forty textbooks I stole from the university medical waste bins. I've sewn up gunshot wounds in dark alleys with nothing but a flashlight and a bottle of vodka, Wayne. This pristine lab of yours is a luxury resort."
You stood up, wiping the blood from your hands onto a clean towel. You looked down at the Batman, your expression softening just a fraction.
"You're going to live, you big idiot," you murmured. "But if you don't take your antibiotics, the sewer rot will take your leg. I didn't move into this house just to watch my employer die of stupidity."
Bruce let out a rough, breathless laugh, his hand reaching out to briefly touch your wrist. "Thank you."
****************
Six months later, the unconventional family had found its rhythm.
The Gotham University admissions office had been thoroughly confused when a woman from the Narrows, with absolutely no high school transcript but an entrance exam score that broke the institution's percentile records, enrolled in their accelerated pre-med program. Her tuition was paid in full by a private endowment from the Wayne Foundation.
Every afternoon, you would sit at the massive mahogany table in the manor library, surrounded by stacks of heavy, leather-bound medical volumes, a cup of hot tea steaming beside you while Jason happily devoured one book after the other.
You looked at your son, finaly well feed, in warm new clouths that actually fit and relaxed.
He was happy. And that was everything.
@yunjinfrl

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Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...
Man. You get it. :^)
finallly a way for me to get involved in the community
Típico de belgas malinois
Good video showcasing exactly why these dogs are not suited to 99 percent of households.
They've gotten very popular recently and I suspect theyre also being dumped in shelters at a high rate
I can confirm they are.
Which is one of the reasons I reblogged this, I vaguely hope it might make someone somewhere reconsider their choices
It occurs to me that there are people who weren’t on this website in 2012 and therefore never saw the magical gif that you can actually hear:
It’s been over five years and that still impresses the hell out of me.
wdym you can hear it?
Basically, it’s a form of synesthesia, movement-hearing. In this case, you expect to hear a thud, so you do. It’s estimated that 20% of people experience this type of synesthesia, as opposed to 2-4% for other kinds.
YO what the FUXK
The longer you watch it the more you get convinced that you can hear a distant thud and the air displace.
I heard the thud. I closed my eyes and the thud stopped. I opened my eyes and I heard the thud. My goodness but human brains are a mess.
This was easily the first ever viral post on Tumblr back in 2011/12. Perhaps even before the great “what your leg feels like after falling asleep” followed by a picture of a static teevee channel.
Activated them like sleeper agents
ten year old Tim Drake having a minor phase of liking archeology bcs of his parents so he starts digging shit up in his garden, but because he’s Tim Fucking Drake he does it too well and accidentally unearths one of the tunnels that connects to the fucking batcave.
ten year old Tim Drake who already knew who Batman and Robin were, finding out he now has a secret tunnel in his garden connecting his house to their lair, and he’s just like ‘fuck yeah that’s cool.’ and starts exploring.
thirteen year old Jason Todd bored and fucking around alone in the batcave system when he comes across a fucking ten year old who knows his identity, clearly idolises the hell out of him, and is just kinda wandering around the cave system alone and completely chill about it. they see a super dangerous spider and Tim just starts info-dumping on the species. when asked if he has a curfew to go back home by he goes ‘uh, July i guess? that’s when mom and dad get back.’ it is early February.
thirteen year old Jason Todd who takes a minute and then goes ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’
Jason Todd and Tim Drake being secret cave buddies. Jason Todd and Tim Drake hanging out in the tunnels and making fun of Batman and Nightwing from the shadows. Tim Drake who has to buy a whole new set of night-vision camera lenses for his new photo album that’s just photos and selfies of him and his new best friend Robin fucking around in the underground pitch-dark.
Jason Todd who dies, gets revived, is told by Talia that Tim Drake has ‘replaced him’ unknowing they’re already friends, and Jason who all he can think of is that time they played hide and seek in the cave system and Tim clung to the fucking ceiling via a stalactite for 45 minutes straight. Jason Todd who just looks at Talia and goes ‘yeah sounds about right for him.’
Jason Todd being told he has to deliver Damian to Bruce and he decides ‘absolutely the fuck not’ to the idea of even touching the front door. they have a Ring camera he is not getting caught on that bullshit.
Jason Todd who just goes to Drake Manor and uses Tim’s old entrance to get into the tunnels, his home away from home, dragging Damian along, until he gets to a spot where he can secretly signal into the batcave for Tim to sneak the fuck away.
fifteen year old Tim Drake who gets called into the tunnels to find the Red Hood, unmasked as Jason, presenting to him a random child which he declares to be the son of Batman.
fifteen year old Tim Drake who comes full circle and says ‘ok this is funny as fuck i promise i won’t snitch to Bruce.’
the cave boys are reunited. a third is added to the club. a new photo album is filled. when Tim brings Damian up through the tunnels into the cave he looks Bruce dead in the eyes and says fully straight-faced ‘this is your cave son. i found him wandering, he was born from the shadows of the bat.’
eleven year old Damian Al Ghul-Wayne who’s spent the past three and a half years under Jason Todd’s influence and sombrely declares ‘the cave birthed me for you, father. i am darkness. i am your child.’
Bruce Wayne who genuinely is starting to lose it.

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Interviewer, catching Damian in costume: Robin! Can you explain the process of picking up Robin or passing on the mantle?
Damian, mildly annoyed at Bruce at the moment: It's quite simple. Batmam steals young children from their bed, usually nine or ten or so. Then he takes you to his lair and give you a deal.
Damian: If you can beat him in a game of your choosing, he will train you to be Robin. If you lose, you are eaten. I beat him in a classic fencing game. He's quite good with swords, but he wasn't very good with the sport itself.
Tim, standing next to him: Yeah, I beat him at a memory card game. I like totally cheated, but I'm too old for him to eat now, so ot doesn't matter.
Damian, nodding: Yes. The worst part of the job is disposing of failed Robins bones. He usually sucks them clean and leaves them all over the floor.
Tim: Yeah, its messy. But after you hit, like 15 he stops trying to eat you, so that's cool.
Damian: I have not yet reached 15. I'm still in danger. If you have more questions, ask Nightwing, as he was the first to avoid being eaten.
-
Same interviewer, at a different date: Mr. Nightwing. Is it true Batman tries to eat potential Robins?
Dick, who has no idea what she's taking about: Yeah, it's really scary. His jaw unhinges like a snake.
Au where nobody tells 10 year old Damian who Jason is. And the way they talk about him, Damian just assumes Jason is like a raccoon or something.
Damian: Grayson, why does Pennyworth leave food on the counter every night?
Dick, on his phone, not even paying attention: Oh, that's for Jason.
Damian: For 'Jason'?
Dick: Yeah. Sometimes he sneaks into the kitchen at night, so Alfred started leaving food out for him.
Damian, confused: I've never seen anyone here.
Dick: Well he doesn't always come. And last time, Bruce caught him crawling through the window and scared him away so, who knows when he'll show up again.
Damian, definitely thinking of a raccoon: So then Pennyworth is feeding a random stray that crawled out of God knows where?
Dick, annoyed: He's not a 'random stray', Damian, he's family, and he has been living in this house for way longer than you have.
Damian, trying to remember how long do raccoons live for:
Damian: I hope he doesn't die soon.
Dick: ????!!
*Later that night in the Bat-cave*
Tim, typing away in the computer:
Damian: Drake. Have you ever met Jason?
Tim: Uh. Stupid, annoying and looks like a skunk? Yes, why?
Damian, picturing a mix between a racoon and a skunk:
Damian: Is he friendly?
Tim: Well, the first time I met him, he attacked me, so...
Damian: Hmm... What did you do to provoke him?
Tim: What did I do to– Bitch–
Tim: Nothing! He just didn't like me taking 'what was his', or something.
Damian, nodding: You invaded his territory.
*The next day*
Damian: Father, when do you think Jason will visit again? I want to meet him.
Bruce: Um. I don't know, Damian. He doesn't come here often.
Damian: Why?
Bruce: Because he lives somewhere else.
Damian: Why doesn't he just live here with us instead? He would be safer.
Bruce, wincing: I don't think he would like that, Damian. He's not confortable here.
Damian: But, maybe if I befriend him I could convince him to stay.
Bruce, sighing: I don't think so, Damian. You have to respect his space.
Damian: Oh...
Damian: I hope he doesn't get rabies
Bruce: ???!!
HOW TO DESCRIBE DREAMING TO YOUR ALIEN BUDDY, A GUIDE BY DR. RYLAND GRACE
don't
"yeah so basically like meeting you :]"
most sopping wet loverboy eyes in the world
WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET GHIS??? IM SORRY???? DID WHAT WHA THA AT HENQ SHA T WHA THW AUTUHENKWHW A WHA QHA
I haven’t seen anyone mention the greatest cultural impact Yahoo Answers made yet

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MY FUCKING CAR
tomorrow I'll do the possible