tumpet. bwaa

Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

they should make a sleep that feels like you’ve slept

I’ve tried a few porn games, but all they have such bad user design, so like one of the games was a platformer, I thought okay, I used to play mario, this’ll be no problem. WRONG. I couldn’t even get through the first level. two straight hours of missing the same jumps and near sobbing about it. at what point am I supposed to get horny? I can’t even reach the naked demon lady because I CANNOT! MAKE! THE JUMPS! so I try another game about seducing milfs. you need to clean the milf’s house to make her like you. okay, I have limited energy per in-game day, so I vacuum her house, I tidy her magazines, I clean her dishes, I go to sleep. this repeats for days. the milf still doesn’t like me. why?? I’ve spent real hours of my life vacuuming her digital floor. why won’t the milf fall in love with me? what am I doing? what am I doing?

on your what

Next month I finally start my overnight shift at the lab and while I'm not sure how easily I'll adjust to becoming fully nocturnal, and not sure if I'll want to remain on night shift forever, I do think it's funny that my trainers so far have been gassing me up as a potential overnight supervisor if I can stick it out, and not just because I'm basically a natural at everything they're showing me but also because it will be a really funny bit for them to turn future new hires over to the pale and ethereally beautiful overnight supervisor named Carmilla who looks much younger than she actually is and works with the lab's blood samples. imagine being a new hire at a big empty overnight laboratory and your supe Carmilla adds you to her team slack channel and it's called #thralls