here's my neocities! currently open and desperate for commissions because i am under fucking attack by cosmic forces or something idk im just out here fighting for my life. i can do digital/physical art yaaayyy options (dances around like a trained ape or some other form of beast)
i am also a decent writer and i will write. anything for you at this fucking point (within the same limitations as my art comms)! rate of 0.10 USD per word but i can do a flat charge too depending on the work!
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remember that guy that had a single auditory hallucination that told him he had a brain tumor and the exact location and then he went to the doctor and it was fucking right
What are birds that cant hurt people but are cuties ?
Pretty much any animal CAN hurt people. The degree to which it can hurt you varies.
For example, this thing
can do a lot more damage than this thing
But that little thing has just as much rage in his heart as the big one. He just weighs 2oz instead of 150lbs. But he still has claws. I have been scratched by button quail before, and infection from dirty claws is still a risk if you're not careful.
That being said, there's plenty of small birds whose risk is minimal. Pretty much any quail or finch or pigeon/dove is not going to be particularly dangerous, and will be cute. But even then, not every pigeon is small.
This thing could probably still hurt someone.
Maybe not grievously, but those claws aren't terribly small.
What's better than trying to find an animal that CAN'T hurt you is researching behavior and figuring out how to handle the animal you have, so that you don't get hurt, and accept that you might get hurt, and weigh if that's acceptable or not.
Eris kicked me. I know that's a risk, I know that peafowl defend themselves by kicking. I know that they have spurs. I know that they can do damage. I know that she is more volatile than the others- not aggressive, but quicker to take offense to smaller issues. I made the move to dump a water bowl close to her, and that was a mistake on my part, defending herself/letting me know that I upset her was not a mistake on her part. Did I take an injury? Yes. But I also heard the communication behind it: I didn't like that, you scared me, don't do it again. There's no safety or logical reason I would have to dump a water bowl that close to her, so that's something I don't have to do again in the future, and I can still do all my care for her AND not scare her again by repeating that action the way I did.
There ARE times you have to do stuff animals don't like. Just last week I had to put a towel over my nesting hen and restrain her so I could pull a 3" long piece of straw out of her nose. She didn't like that. She tried kicking me, she screamed about it, she tried to get away. But for her safety and well being, I couldn't let a huge piece of straw bedding stay up her nose, and it ended up being long enough it wasn't coming out on its own. That's an instance where she communicated, and I understand, but I have to do the thing anyway, and I would do the thing again if I had to. But I wouldn't just go grabbing her and wrestling with her for no reason, because that could get one or both of us injured.
While pretty much all animals can hurt you in some way, there's almost no animal that will hurt you just to hurt you, with no reason behind it. They hurt you because they're scared, angry, hungry, territorial, accidentally, etc. There's a REASON, even if you don't understand it. Their thresholds for reacting to those states of being vary, and domesticated animals often have a very high threshold. The wilder an animal is, the lower the threshold often is, but even in domestic animals, the threshold can be low. You, as a caretaker or at least someone interacting with the animal, have the responsibility to learn their language ahead of time, and listen when they speak to avoid crossing that threshold unexpectedly.
I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.
so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.
So for strokes the signs are abbreviated BE FAST. Balance loss, Eyesight changes, Face drooping, Arm weakness, Speech difficulty, -> Time to call 911.
Had I known those MAYBE I would have figured it out but my symptoms were a little mixed. I was reading (fanfic!) in bed because it was a sunday morning and i had nothing pressing to do and suddenly got dizzy. I put my laptop aside because my eyes were blurring (Eyesight changes - symptom #1), and laid down, thinking it would pass, it didn't, it's a little vague how it progressed because I'd been having headaches and neckpain for about 3 weeks leading up to it so I was like 'idk is this a migraine?' (headaches can be a stroke symptom so symptom #2) but i got nauseous and eventually got up and to my utmost surprise I immediately fell over as if I was the drunkest of frat bros. The room literally spun before my eyes as I fell to the floor (Balance loss - symptom #3). I have had some Nights and I had never been that unsteady before. I crawled my way to the bathroom, threw up (nausea - not a common stroke symptom) , took 800mg of ibuprofen, and crawled back to bed.
if you know anything about ibuprofen you might know it's a mild blood thinner and that's a high dose. I may have inadvertently helped myself with that one. I was just feeling like shit and thinking 'idk this might help'
At this point I still thought we were still in Normal Land. Sure, it was a weird morning, but Surely There Was A Reason. (Yes There Was) Anyway, as I'm lying there willing my body to stop suffering I realize my arm is going numb (stroke symptom #4) and I switch positions, because weird, but it doesn't go away, and I gave it a good little while. I'm on a medication that can make my limbs tingle but it usually just does it to my fingers and it dissipates quickly but this wasn't dissipating, and then I realized one of my legs was also going numb. Then one side of my face is going numb.
(at the time I did not look in the mirror but I had a drooping eyelid - symptom #5)
Those all seem bad. I grab my computer and google 'when to go to the hospital for dizzyness' as that felt like the worst of my problems. and indeed the list I found highlighted that if you are also experiencing loss of balance, blurred vision, nausea, and limb numbness, you should see a doctor. That seems like far too many symptoms to be having all to be listed. I grab my phone (thankfully plugged in and by my bed), and start layering on more clothing because it's about 10 degrees out and i'm in a pajama dress. The very nice man at 911 talks with me and sends an ambulance, I tell him I don't think I can get out the front door of my building on my own and he asks if I can get to MY apartment door to which I say yes and he assures me that's fine they will have keys to my building.
(I have been since informed they love to chop down doors but no, I could get that far)
I wait by my door laying down on the ground and they arrive pretty quickly. They see to me in the hallway, which is more of a lobby in my building and the only place with room for me to lie down (I cannot stand unassisted at this point) they ask me a bunch of questions, take vitals, and ask me where I would like to be taken. Me, having never had to go to the fucking hospital in an emergency before, simply go 'wherever is close' because I again, I am having a stroke and do not have the wherewithal to think through these things.
A big firefighter helps me down the stairs (it's only a half flight and I still almost did not make it) and we get underway.
At the hospital they wheel me into triage and I mostly lie there gratefully and answer some questions and respond to some tests (grip strength, following a pen with my eyes, that sort of thing) and then I hear what is great when you've been at urgent care for two hours but what is Very Bad when you just arrived in an ambulance and that's 'She's next'. I jumped the line for a CT scan and an MRI. I was there less than ten minutes before I was actively being scanned. honestly closer to five.
my active symptoms seem to have been worse than some of the stories I've heard, not being able to walk AT ALL in particular, although some other are pretty equal (Footless Jo on youtube had a stroke around the same time I did of the same type and has discussed hers, she delayed going in despite the severity for a variety of reasons and it sounds like her recovery has been difficult) My recovery was pretty easy because i was actively being cared for and on blood thinners right away. I was pretty out of it in the beginning, but I was only in the hospital for 6 days and then in a rehab for another 4 to relearn how to walk and balance, then i was released unto the world and just spent time going to physical therapy and recovering for awhile. I was out of work for about 8 weeks total. I basically had the best outcome for a stroke. I recovered almost fully back to 100% (I'm about 2% less sure footed than I used to be, but it's rarely noticeable), my face still feels a little weird but has markedly improved so I live in hope it will eventually get back to normal. It massively sucked. But strokes can fuck you up for life and I came out a weird medical story to tell and have to take some extra medication now/precautions to take (i cannot do certain types of yoga, no weightlifting, no push ups, no going on rollercoasters.... things that could strain my neck essentially) but overall I escaped very lucky.
does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it
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I love how when highly social apes gained the ability to think narratively the immediate result was like "ok everythings a guy now" like that's so funny that's SO charming of us. hello I have developed the cognitive capacity to frame my experiences in a narrative and now that mountain is a guy. the river? a guy. storm? also a guy. they're all guys now. when they do something which results in damage inconvenience or death is probs bc they're mad at us. because they're guys.
its just I think. soooo adorable its such a funny little unexpected outcome of becoming as social and as narrative-in-language brained as we are. Everything's A Guy Now. and we are in a social relationship. us and the guys. the sun is in my social group now. bet you didn't foresee that when you programmed this level of social with this level of narrative brain, DID you, god???? <- look look I'm doing it right now I'm making there be a guy
Every person that I know, that I have opened up about my schizophrenia to, has shared that they have had at least one psychotic experience in their life.
Whether that was that they have psychotic features as a part of their bipolar disorder, depression or PTSD. Or that they have seen a shadow of a person out of the corner of their eye, or a delusion that some entity is after them. Even if it was just a single instance of hearing a voice that wasn't real that stuck with them.
It seems like when I break the barrier of stigma and silence, people feel comfortable enough to share their own experiences and I love that.
Psychotic experiences are extremely common. Anecdotally, it seems that everyone has had at least one hallucination, delusion or instance of paranoia in their life. And I wish everyone was able to talk about these experiences, and how they've affected them without fear of shame or panic from the people around them. This is a normal thing that brains do for whatever reason. It shouldn't be seen as bad unless it negatively affects someone, and then you should listen with care and see if the person needs help in any way.
That's why acceptance for those of us with disorders like schizophrenia is so important. If you can hear a schizophrenic person out, and not treat us like we are dangerous or scary. See as equal human beings that happen to have these experiences. Only then will the pathway for everyone to share their experiences with psychosis be open and normalized.
I think it's fascinating that human brains can create experiences out of thin air. I think it's so cool that everyone can relate to me in even a small way. Imagine how many interesting conversations and connections we could all be having about this if we destigmatized psychosis and schizophrenia.
I CONTINUE TO BE TITS DEEP IN DEMONOLOGY RESEARCH:
IF YOU ARE A NOBLE THAT RUNS A COUNTY YOU ARE A COUNT OR A COUNTESS
NOW IF YOUR COUNTY IS ON THE BORDERS OF THE REALM YOU MIGHT HAVE TO DEAL WITH WAR SO YOULL HAVE SOLDIERS MARCHING THROUGH YOUR COUNTY SO MUCH IT BECOMES A MARCH AKA A MARK AND YOU GET UPGRADED TO BEING A MARQUIS
SIMPLY PUT A MARQUIS IS A COUNT THAT OWNS A BORDER TERRITORY
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Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely
just saw a sunflower in an urban garden that was so big i had to look up to see the top of it. stem the thickness of my forearm. they had it tied to an electrical pole with a length of twine to keep it balanced. leaves like TWO dinner plates, ten or more alternating pairs, jack and the beanstalk type shit, no sign of stopping. a tree is a somewhat ambiguous growth form botanically speaking and that IS a tree to me
HAAAANK! NO HANK!! THAT'S NOT A BACTERIOPHAGE! THOSE WOULD BE WAY SMALLER THAN A TARDIGRADE! THAT'S A RADIOLARIAN, A TYPE OF UNICELLULAR EUKARYOTIC ORGANISM KNOWN FOR ITS ELABORATE MINERAL SKELETONS! HAAAANK! THAT'S THE WRONG MICROBE!!!
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Conservative beauty standards are back with a vengeance which means it's especially important to go out this summer with bellies out and bodies unshaved. Also be unapologetically disabled with mobility aids and wearable medical devices and stim toys and ear defenders and all that stuff. You need it. People need to see it. Everyone needs to be reminded that life is unquestioningly more enjoyable when you're not living inside an arbitrary set of rules created by people who are offended by all the wrong things.
