Why did the elites of Germany so consistently underestimate Hitler? Possibly because they werenât actually wrong in their assessment of his competencyâthey just failed to realize that this wasnât enough to stand in the way of his ambition.
Hmm, this sounds familiar, but I canât quite put my finger on whyâŚ
Also to people who complain about invoking Godwinâs Law, Godwin himself gave us as a society a pass to draw comparisons between this administration/Trump and Hitler and the Nazis, because there are honestly too damn many similarities to ignore.
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A word (or several) about the Haka that was performed in Parliament.
I hemm'd and haww'd about whether to say anything about this. But just a few weeks ago I stood up at the CTU gathering and gave a speech about how important it is to push back against the government's proposed changes to Te Tiriti O Waitangi, and about how they are betting that people from my background, who look like me and sound like me, won't care. And the truth is I do care. Very much.
For the Brits who are waking up, there's going to be a slew of headlines about how the New Zealand Parliament was today 'disrupted' and 'suspended' because a young female MÄori MP performed a Haka, backed by other members of her political party (Te PÄti MÄori) in response to a bill being read. This Bill proposes to change the Principals of Te Tiriti O Wantangi, the closest thing New Zealand has to a founding document. It has been proposed by ACT, a small and very right wing party who are a coalition parter to our National Party (NZ Tories). The closest political analogy the UK has to ACT is probably The Reform Party.
Our NZ Parliamentary system is based on the English one (And yes, I said English. I meant what I said). It's very recognisable to me, as a Crown structure and system, as I grew up watching coverage of the House of Commons on UK TV.
New Zealand, in accordance with Te Tiriti O Waitangi, is supposed to be a bicultural society. And Bicultural means MÄori and Non MÄori, not MÄori and 'White' or 'British' - so there is supposed to be room for everyone in this agreement. But MÄori are supposed to be centralised in this agreement.
I do not see, in the Parliamentary system, room being made for MÄori cultural practices or traditions. The types you would see on a Marae, between MÄori people. There is not sufficient room for Haka, for Waiata, for Korero in Te Reo MÄori. How do I know this? Because if there was, half of the space of these proceedings would be made available for this. So my feeling about Parliament has been, since arriving here, that it is not truly bicultural. It is not a fusion of systems. It is an imposition by The Crown. Our way or the high way.
So today, when Hana-Rawhiti Maipi-Clarke, of Te PÄti MÄori, lead that stirring rendition of the Ka Mate Haka in Parliament (and yes, she led it, she did not perform it alone) - I didn't see disrespect. I didn't see disruption. I certainly didn't see hate. Though I wouldn't blame her for feeling that way towards the people who have drafted and proposed this bill.
I saw anger. I saw frustration. I saw defiance to the existence of this bill. I saw people fighting, bitterly, to have their say, in their way, in a system which doesn't acknowledge them, doesn't make room for them, and doesn't respect them. Or rather, only accepts them when they use the strictures and structures imposed by The Crown.
Te Tiriti o Waitangi was supposed to enshrine MÄori interests and traditions, and the promise of that has never been truly fulfilled.
If Te Tiriti had ensured true bicultural equality, haka performances in Parliament might not be seen right now through a colonial lense and viewed as an inconvenience by so many people. The fact that this haka was performed as this parliament were voting on a proposed piece of legislation which further strips away their rights and recognition...? It was absolutely appropriate. And I back them all the way.
The Parliamentarians had a colonialised view of how today was 'supposed' to go. This wonderful, young, passionate MÄori wahine didn't subscribe to that. She did things her way, backed by people who knew why this was important. If Te Tiriti had ever been enacted properly, this wouldn't have been shocking. It would have been expected. It would have been valued. And this ... toilet-paper-in-waiting disgrace of a bill would never have made it on to the floor.
We're all so proud of the All Blacks doing the Haka at the rugby, aren't we! Great tradition for the rest of the world to share, two minutes at the start of the game, great way to amp up the players and crowd. But reducing Haka, in purpose and tradition, to that sole example? That's a disservice. Ka Mate was the first Haka I was ever exposed to, and yes, it was watching the All Blacks perform it at the Rugby World Cup. It is powerful, and not enough people know the meaning of it. It's more than an entertaining two minutes before the game kicks off. It packs a punch, politically. Go take a look. It was the perfect sentiment for this moment.
Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
You can't shame someone into doing their homework.
But you can shame someone out of doing anything that isn't their homework (or a parental chosen and approved activity eg sports training or music practice.)
And some parents think this is motivation instead of narrowing horizons and controlling behaviour.
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Have you seen FAQ on the new The Tolkien Estate webpage?
https://www.tolkienestate.com/frequently-asked-questions-and-links/?fbclid=IwAR3oyGPRKgf1sE3B9D_3e1WtVJaYV0yZHConYXedDJY79tDy8SKmYetqrY4
No fanfiction, no fanzines, no Tolkien music, no Tolkien quotes (without permission), no writing in Tolkien languages (if you intend to post it somewhere), no Tolkien-related events (even charitable and not-for-profit ones - no exceptions), no public readings (without permission), no recordings of reading of Tolkien works (and TE is going to take action against unauthorized audiobooks or readings on social media), no Tolkien photographs.
Tell me if it is true, or if someone is joking!
Holy crap, itâs been YEARS since anyone did something as stupid as try and threaten fanfic writers. Those are dark days we talk about as legends! Does anyone know when these policies were published and if any legal actions have actually been taken?
Good lord, reading through this whole thing, this could be the death of the fandom. we may have to go underground, because the level of control they have exerted over this outright stops fans from even interacting with the work. Itâs far beyond stopping people from making a bit of cash off of it, it full on threatens any creator who wishes to engage with the material! Iâm honestly surprised they didnât just go all the way and say making fan art is illegal too!
I donât know the exact day that the new policies came out, but it was within the past two weeks. I havenât heard that the estate has cracked down on anyone yet. Itâs probably too soon still.
Iâve been checking some of the other large Tolkien fan communities (theonering.net, Tolkien Society, Silmarillion Writersâ Guild) to see if anyone has released a statement about the new policies, but I havenât seen anything yet; nearly all discussion so far has been relegated to the siteâs new appearance and the new artwork released on it. (Although there is this hilarious Reddit discussion about the new policies.)
Iâm not sure how many Tolkien fanfic sites are left since I only use AO3, but this makes me wonder what could happen to the fanfic sites that havenât yet moved their archives onto AO3 and donât have the protection of AO3â˛s lawyers, should the estate decide to crack down on Tolkien fanfic sites. This could really deal a blow to some of those communities if the estate firmly enforces the new policies.
Iâm astonished, though, that relatively no large Tolkien communities (that Iâve seen) are talking about the changes, except for on here, and that even the conversation about it here is pretty limited. I donât know how seriously the Tolkien Estate will enforce this, but itâs a major shift in tone from the estate nonetheless.
Under these rules, would Alan Lee or John Howe have created any of those stunning works of art that inspired Peter Jackson and gave us the LOTR trilogy of films? Possibly not. And that makes me sad.
The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. [...] The thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet. This was the Captain Samuel Vimes "Boots" theory of socioeconomic unfairness.
The UK based food poverty campaigner Jack Monroe recently tweeted a thread highlighting how official inflation figures didnât account for the astronomical price rises in the cheapest products.
Off the back of that, they had the idea to do an index of their own based on their own experiences of the cheapest products that many people rely on having increases way above inflation or being removed altogether.
This isnât just a feeling, Jack literally kept the receipts. They have over 10 years of shopping receipts kept for their food blog.
The twitter thread took off and has now had over 22 million views.
The idea of a separate UK index of everyday products people on lower incomes rley on, that reflects the actual affect of price changes on ordinary peopleâs finances, has completely taken off and is now being covered in all the major news outlets. It is also being supported by a whole range of organisations, camapaigners, retail industry professionals, data analysts and others.
Jack has put out a call for people in the UK to send their old shopping receipts to add to the exissting data for tracking historic price changes.
Today Jack tweeted that they had permission from the Pratchett estate for the use of the preferred name for the new project:Â
Like any great work, Pratchett's best quotes only get better as real life and circumstances throw new light on them. Re-blogging this informative thread today to remind us all of the important exchange between how we live and what we read.
why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens donât lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead
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Okay no one on Tumblr that I've seen has been talking about the wine and cheese thing, but that means no one is reflecting on the absolute weapons-grade hilarity of Boris Johnson trying to inchworm his way out of trouble by claiming that he didn't know about it
Like... that wine and cheese party was the Downing Street works Christmas do. Not just any old social, the Christmas social. There were invitations. There was music. Every single worker in Downing Street was invited, even Debbie from accounts. People who didn't work there but were important to the government got invited.
And Boris is therefore claiming that all his mates got together and had a party and DIDN'T INVITE HIM.
Not only that, but they deliberately kept it a secret from him, because no one wanted him there to ruin the party because no one likes him, and I just...
The key difference between Johnson and Trump always came down to this: Johnson wants to be liked. He genuinely does. Trump wanted to be respected and feared and obeyed, he wanted to be seen as powerful and suave and cool. But he didn't care about how liked he was. Johnson, though, really fucking does. He's a deeply pathetic little twat, and he wants people to like him.
So, his choices currently are
Tell everyone in the country that his own friends and coworkers actually cannot stand him, to the point that they arranged an entire Christmas party without him
Admit that he was there and immediately be hated by literally every single human being in the country, including his own voters (hello North Shropshire), because while the rest of us spent Christmas 2020 in a lockdown and unable to see each other and in many cases literally alone, him and his mates held an illegal Christmas party that the police are refusing to investigate
His popularity is now nosediving in the polls, and it really cannot be stated how much that will be burning him.
Also, pro-Brexit Tories are even pissed off with him now. Which is a bit like someone buying a cake called a pus cake with pictures of pus all over the box and a warning sign that says This Cake Contains Pus and Other Bodily Fluids, and then crying because when they tried to eat the pus cake they found it was filled with pus. But also really funny.
Anyway, I'm placing the bet now: we will see a vote of no confidence, OR he'll jump before he has to experience that (because it would kill him), and our next PM will be Rishi Sunak
They had a secret Christmas party that was so big that they were sending out invites to non government members which they didn't want him at, so they... what, had his mistress drug him with hefty amounts of antihistamines? He went out for the evening (also illegal at the time) and they partied hard on cheese and wine for precisely two hours and 46 minutes, then everyone went silent and snuck out when he came back?
A whole team of cleaners had to tiptoe about for four hours so they wouldn't wake up the clown upstairs.
So, let's update for those who don't know. Bear with me, I may get a couple of dates slightly wrong. First, shout out to the incredible investigative journalism and absolutely chessmaster-level shrewdness of Pippa Crerar for both digging up this story and for picking precisely the right moments to release it, morsel by morsel, to bring down Boris Johnson and possibly the whole damn government.
So after Johnson claimed he didn't know about it, then the Mirror published photos showing he was there and hosted a quiz. So, undeniable, Boris was at the Christmas party.
The Metropolitan Police declare that, even though they are investigating and fining people up to ÂŁ12,000 a pop for lockdown parties, and doing so is literally their job, they will not investigate the government because "there isn't enough evidence". ACAB etc
Then, the Guardian reveals photos of Boris Johnson, his mistress, and Dominic Cummings eating cheese and drinking wine in the sun (with others around them) in the Downing Street garden, not allowed at the time (we were literally not allowed to leave home at the time). That day, Matt Hancock urges people not to have cheese and wine parties in their own gardens in spite of the nice May weather.
Then the Mirror reveals that there was actually another whole ass party - in May 2020, where 30 gathered in the garden of Downing Street (at the time we were not allowed more than 2 households meeting outside). Boris denies that it was a party, and claims it was merely a weirdly well catered work event that included his gin-drinking mistress and baby for some reason.
Then, the invites to the party were leaked by ITV. Turns out, 100 people were invited "to make the most of the lovely weather." It also told attendees to "bring their own booze."
Then an inquiry begins, carried out by Sue Gray. She is in fact a member of Number 10 staff, but no idea how independent she'll actually be one way or the other. Either way, the police are still literally refusing to investigate so lmao that's what we've got. She did get Damien Green fired for that porn thing, though, so that's encouraging.
Then this week, Johnson goes on Prime Minister's Questions. He sort of apologises, and claims that he was only there for 25 minutes but implies he then left because it felt more like an illegal social than the work event he was expecting, which is interesting, since his mistress was necking gin next to him the whole time. He should have just asked her, like. She could have clarified.
Then the Times reveals a source at the party who says that no, Boris stayed WAAAYYYY longer and spent his time wandering around and 'gladhanding' people (side note, posh people have weird words).
Then yesterday, even though we now have evidence and a confession of criminality, the Met Police announce that they will not investigate unless/until the Gray Inquiry finds evidence of criminality, which is just...an astonishingly open display of corruption, really. A real quiet-part-loud moment.
THEN, within hours, it's revealed that there were ANOTHER TWO PARTIES, except... Okay you're going to want to sit down, because shit hit the fan yesterday.
These two parties happened on the day of Prince Philip's funeral last year, aka Put Philip In The Floor Day. At the time, restrictions meant just 30 people could attend that funeral.
Which means, the Telegraph ran this headline and image:
I know we all hate the royals on Tumblr, but you have to understand just how hard that headline, and that image, and that message, hits British society. The Queen, beloved monarch, "forced to grieve alone" while the government danced and drank the night away. You cannot imagine how much power that image holds. You cannot begin to imagine the social power of it.
Boris Johnson can. He was polling only one point above Theresa May's all time low within the hour. That is a devastating popularity drop for the man who needs to be loved, who came to power on a cult of personality.
So, he went on PMQs again, to apologise to Lizzie Two. It's a really funny apology because he kind of can't apologise without admitting it and there's an enquiry going on so it's real vague, but he does cop to the parties on Put Philip In The Floor Day. Keir Starmer, in a rare display of actually providing some opposition, put the boot in quite nicely:
Well, there we have it. After months of deceit and deception, the pathetic spectacle of a man who's run out of road.
His defence, that he didn't realise he was at a party, is so ridiculous that it's actually offensive to the British public.Â
He's finally been forced to admit what everyone knew that when the whole country was locked down, he was hosting boozy parties in Downing Street.Â
Is he now going to do but decent thing and resign?
Which brings us to today! How is the Prime Minister coping with the situation?
Well, according to a leak from the Independent, he literally spent today working out which senior officials he can force to resign and take the blame in order to save himself in a move that he, a grown man who has fathered six or possibly seven children who is Prime Minister of the country, is without irony calling, and I am not making this up...
Operation Save Big Dog.
Big Dog is him. He is Big Dog. He has called himself Big Dog. He chose to call himself Big Dog.
Except, the Independent leaked it, as I say, so now he looks EVEN WORSE.
And Then
The Mirror's front page for tomorrow is revealed.
They have a photo of a wine fridge (capable of holding up to 34 bottles of wine) being delivered to Number 10.
Because, they reveal, these parties were not special events only.
Downing Street has been holding what they called Wine Time Fridays every week during the pandemic. They used to hold them before as well; but apparently, they've been particularly popular during lockdown.
Current polling as of 14th January 2022:
Labour 41%
Tories 27%
Those figures would translate to the Tories losing over 126 seats. Labour's largest lead since Tony Blair.
Side note to finish off for now:
Interesting how we now know a good 100 people who was at those parties, complete with photos, and yet Rishi Sunak is not in any of them. One might almost call it suspicious. And wonder at who the main source is.
I will try to keep this concise, and I will put in a Read More because fuck this is like... metres of political intrigue. Although first, quick housekeeping because Iâm fed up of seeing some stuff turning up in the notes:
Americans stop being smug in the notes challenge. Just enjoy the clowns quietly.
It is not misogynistic to refer to Carrie Johnson as Big Dogâs mistress, you tedious voles, thatâs literally what she was when he cheated on his cancer-suffering wife with her. He also dumped his wife, mid-chemotherapy, to shack up with Carrie Antoinette over there. I do not give the tiniest iota of shit that they are now married, and given that the UK press has spent two years trying to make their relationship into a fairytale princess situation, I will continue to brand her his mistress until the inevitable day he cheats on her with yet another younger model and fathers his eighth or ninth child (not an inaccurate number, this man has Disputed Children with other mistresses he refuses to take a paternity test for)
EXERCISE A MODICUM OF CRITICAL THINKING AND STOP ACCUSING ME OF THINKING RISHI SUNAK IS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE. I HAVE NOT SAID ANYWHERE THAT HE IS. ONLY THAT HEâS GUNNING FOR IT.
With that out of the way, itâs the 20th January 2022, letâs watch the elephant stand on a ball!
Earlier This Week
Letâs check the polls, after the fun of last week!
70% think heâs lying about the May 20th party, 63% think he should resign, 80% think he has not been honest, and 81% think the âwork eventâ that Big Dog described was unacceptable anyway.
But, how does that translate to politics? Well! The Police and Crime Bill is a monstrous piece of fascist legislation that the Tories are currently trying to get passed. This week it passed to the House of Lords. This would normally have been a very straightforward run through to the Queen to sign off, but LOL SOME PEOPLE ARE VERY BITTER ABOUT THE CHEESE AND WINE because instead the Lords have literally thrown out three of the worst elements.
Yes, you read that right. That Bill weâve all been terrified about?
The Lords have rejected:
Allowing stop and search at protests without suspicion
Banning people with a âhistory of serious disruptionâ from attending protests
Making it an offence to disrupt the operation of key national infrastructure, like an airport or a newspaper printer
And then, just to rub salt in the wound, they approved two non-Tory amendments, including making misogyny a hate crime. In practice, those two amendments will now go back to the Commons to be debated more, but those three central pillars up there are just gone now. The Lords described the proposals as âdraconianâ, âa wider assault on our democracyâ, and âreminiscent of Cold War Eastern Bloc police statesâ.
Never thought Iâd see the day...
So, Boris the Big Dog realises heâs in serious trouble now, because that means that even MPs who supported him now hate him because his actions are costing them the fascist laws they wanted to put in place. So he has a meeting with the one Tory you can absolutely count on to blindly and incompetently support Boris Johnson regardless of literally anything he ever does - enter, Nadine Dorres.
She suggests a zippy new ploy. he needs to shore up support from the backbenchers if heâs to survive it, so she suggests he give them everything theyâve been asking for like a gift wrapped Christmas gift of shit, and they call it Operation Red Meat, because neither of them is bright enough to consider not naming their illicit backroom plans to let them go undetected, and also, they learned nothing at all from Operation Save Big Dog. Hereâs the problem: Tory backbenchers are fucking lunatics. Like, this is your mad Tory uncle who thought the highlight of 2021 was that we put a picture of a crown on beer glasses again TAKE THAT EUROPE. So what bones did Big Dog throw these people?
Threatening to cut the BBC license fee, costing them billions
Also ending all covid restrictions
Asking the military to protect against asylum seekers crossing the channel so they have to go to Rwanda and Ghana for processing instead
Except cutting the BBC alienates a chunk of the core Tory votership, which is old people.
(Remember Ghana, itâs going to be relevant in a sec)
And, it turns out, while the BBC has been very effectively muzzled by the Tories, if you then try to take away their funding anyway... they just might remember they have teeth after all.
THE CIRCUS CONTINUES, letâs see some acrobats!
Two Days Ago
Remember how Big Dogâs plan is now to send asylum seekers to Ghana?
Ghana issued a press release.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, they hadnât heard about this at all. Whatâs interesting is that they called the plan Operation Dead Meat. I 100% choose to believe this is an intentionally satirical choice about their view of Boris Johnsonâs career.
Meanwhile, Boris has a meeting with MPs and bursts into tears. Lol.
Another party is revealed to have happened, this time in March. But Johnson is delighted by this one - he has an alibi, you see. âI couldnât have attended,â he insists, âbecause I was in Chequers by then.â
Now Chequers is his second home. At the time, as youâll all no doubt recall, Boris had delivered his speech at the start of the lockdown, on the 23rd March 2020, telling us all to stay the fuck where we were, and not to travel for anything. Not even to go to a second home. So, in the interests of fairness, yes, he probably wasnât at the March party.
Because he was breaking the law in a brand new way by illegally travelling between homes. A brans new crime he just confessed to without provocation. Good job, Big Dog.
Then, Pippa Crerar announces that Dominic Cummings is willing to swear under oath that BJ not only knew about the 20th May party, but that he agreed it should go ahead. This is actually a bigger deal than it sounds, because it means he lied to the House of Commons, which is actually a major no-no that people are forced to resign for.
AND THEN
To call a vote of no confidence and to get Johnson to resign, we need 54 letters from Tory MPs.Â
Itâs revealed that somewhere between 20 and 40 have been sent. This is primarily being led by a bunch of young, new MPs who came to power in the 2019 general election, who therefore donât have any old ties to Johnson. Hereâs the risk - that their inexperience means they get the timing wrong, lose the vote, and then weâre stuck with him. However, if that does happen, it makes the Tory party itself into a laughing stock no one will listen to.
Once again, I need to remind all of you that this man has a pathological need to be liked above all else. This is killing him.
Anyway, the acrobats were fun! Letâs move onto the jugglers!
Yesterday
The BBC, apparently starting to rise up again, have not just started following up on the letters of no confidence, but are sending Laura Kuenssberg to do it. This is impressive because sheâs a massive dickhead, Tumblrs, just a huge Tory bitch, but even she is now wanting to put the boot in, it seems.
Six MPs have now gone on public record and announced theyâve sent a letter, and the BBC has found a 7th. Laura reports that 20 Tory MPs first elected in 2019 met to discuss submitting letters. This letter writing campaign gets called the Pork Pie Plot, because one of the MPs has a constituency including Melton Mowbrey, apparently, and thus the tradition of needlessly giving dramatic names to every fucking thought these people have is continued.
Afterwards, a Pork Pie Person says âI think weâve done it â difficult to tell, though.â
In response, BJ holds urgent one on one meetings with MPs in the Pork Pie Plot where he was described as âbroken and close to tearsâ and begged them not to leave. He promises them more money for their constituencies if they stay loyal, and threatens to withdraw funding for projects in their seats if not.
(This will come back to bite him in a minute)
Meanwhile, the Private Eye runs an interesting story. Remember the Queen, forced to grieve alone on Put Philip in the Floor Day? While the government partied? Apparently, Downing St offered the Queen a lockdown easing in time for the funeral, so she could have more people there. But she turned it down because⌠itâs not safe? She cares about optics? Who knows.Â
And then, itâs time for Prime Ministerâs Questions, at which the following happened:
Johnson claims that he simply didnât know the parties he held during lockdown were against the rules. This is a fascinating assertion from the man who made the rules, of course, but Dominic Cummings has announced that he personally had warned him, as did two others. Sue Grey, in response, announces that she will be interviewing Dominic Cummings
THE DEFECTION OF CHRISTIAN WAKEFIELD OH MY GOD. He was a Tory MP who got pulled into the office by the whip, and the whip tried to bully him and take his seat if he wouldnât support BJ. So with the cameras rolling, in full view of everyone, he stood up, walked across the floor of the House of Commons to the Labour benches, and SAT DIRECTLY BEHIND KEIR STARMER I mean this man is a repugnant toad but my god, the DRAMA, the SYMBOLISM, I only wish heâd worn a cape
There are many Tories called David Davies, and theyâre all appalling. This one is the least appalling, which really says nothing, itâs like comparing three virulent diseases. But: David Davies stood up from the back benches. He read out a speech, which he said was first given to then-PM Neville Chamberlin on the eve of WW2, urging him to stand down and allow Winston Churchill in. 'You have sat there too long for all the good you have done, in the name of god go'.
Johnsonâs response to that last one was âI donât actually know that speech,â which as defences go, isnât one. A bit like saying âI didnât rape Virginia Guiffre because I canât sweatâ for how useful or relevant it is, even if itâs true.
But like Prince Andrew, it definitely isnât true anyway - Boris Johnson once wrote a book about Churchill and included that speech. However, no one is pushing that angle too hard, because this has made people read his book, and now the focus is on the fact that he made up most of the contents. Like, thereâs a bit in it where he claims Germany seized Stalingrad during WW2, that level of made up. Here is a historian tearing it to shreds if you want history nerd drama.
The jugglers were fun! Now letâs see what you all came for: the clowns. Hereâs the backing music if you want to get the full experience.
Today
Well, letâs start with the front page of the Independent.
You love to see it.
Downing Street have realised that the best thing they can do right now is to refute strongly only the things they think might be true, so theyâve given up on quotes about parties and instead are issuing official statements denying that:
Boris Johnson is called Big Dog by anyone, and
Boris Johnson cried
Precisely no one believes that, either.
Hereâs Diana Johnson MP, asking another brutal question:Â âIf the PM is spending his time trying to convince the British public that heâs stupid instead of dishonest, isnât it time he goes? Now?â
Meanwhile the Telegraph have announced that a further 5 Tories are considering defecting. But why could this be? Well.
Remember how I said that BJ would come to regret offering MPs money for loyalty and threatening them with no money if they rebelled?
IN THE LAST FEW MINUTES, while I have literally been writing this post okay okay I am so high on the Drama right now, let me calm down
Right, so, Will Wragg MP. Yes, thatâs his real name.Â
Heâs a newbie as of 2019, and one of the MPs who has publicly admitted to a letter. Heâs also the chair of the Public Administration and Constitutional Affairs Committee, and Iâm sure he has nice eyes or something.Â
HE HAS ACCUSED NUMBER 10 OF BLACKMAIL
No 10 staff, special advisors and government ministers, he says, said there would be embarrassing stories leaked to the press if MPs did not support the PM
They also repeated those funding threats.
Quoth Will Wragg, âThe intimidation of a MP is a serious matter, the reports of which Iâm aware would seem to constitute blackmail.â
And he has urged other MPs to contact - and I need you to sit down for this one, Iâm crying, this is incredible -
He has urged other blackmailed MPs, if they feel threatened, to contact THE METROPOLITAN POLICE
THE POLICE WHO ARE LITERALLY REFUSING TO INVESTIGATE
THE ONES WHO ARE RUN BY SAJID JAVIDâS BROTHER
THOSE ONES
This is the fucking funniest thing that has ever happened.
To round off, letâs check in with the Ringmaster!
Rishi Sunak has been in contact with the Pork Pie Plot People, and has asked them what they need and what he can do to help. No one knows yet if he means âHelp get rid of Johnsonâ or âHelp you feel happier with Johnsonâ. All very interesting Iâm sure.
This is the clearest, most concise, informative and definitely FUCKING FUNNIEST description of what UK's been up to in the last weeks. Mainstream press could never.
@becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys, is it ok to share this post outside of tumblr? Because I feel like anyone who's been to exhausted to so much as look at news lately will very much appreciate your reporting.
I once watched a girl in the produce aisle pick up a bushel of bananas that were precariously perched on the edge and move them farther back and under her breath she said âthere you go sweeties - that will be more comfortableâ before shuffling off and⌠I think about her often.
I was driving on the highway and passed a dude absolutely JAMMING alone in his car, doing those little half dance moves you do when youâre stuck sitting down in a small space, bellowing unheard lyrics at the top of his lungs, and my instant reaction was to think âI love you.â And then to pray he had a good day, or whatever, because those fleeting moments of connection are so incredible.
No offense but the internet gives you the most wrong and fucked up idea of helping people because people get mad if you donât care about disasters happening in 72 countries, meanwhile the people in real life that are doing the most good picked one VERY SPECIFIC thing to care about and care about it REALLY HARD
The internet has taken a whole generation of bright, motivated, passionate young people who care and have big hearts and turned them into paralyzed, shattered wrecks too crushed by the weight of the worldâs pain to hand a pair of socks to a person in need
Also, the people who are doing the most good areâI cannot stress this enoughâworking to fix things that are PHYSICALLY CLOSE TO THEM
And as a Kentuckian this is exactly why i fucking hate the portrayal of small town and rural areas in the US as backward shitholes no one would want to live in because itâs not enough to recognize that good people live here.
You have to recognize that each and every small town MATTERS and if you invested your ENTIRE LIFE into this âshitholeâ rural place no one cares about it would MATTER.
people are trying to do the activism thing while being like âugh i hate living here in this small town full of racistsâ
SoâŚ.theyâre not getting politically involved on a local level
Theyâre not paying attention to their local unhoused populationâtheir NEIGHBORS, their OWN
Theyâre not paying attention to the creek downtown with pollution in it
Theyâre not helping the disabled lady across the street get to the store
Theyâre not writing letters to people in their local jail
Theyâre not finding people in THEIR OWN community who care about the same things they care about
Theyâre not contacting their OWN homeownerâs association
Theyâre not donating to organizations that are headquartered in cities and towns close by
And I know some people canât do these things, and I know I come off as a hypocrite because I havenât even been in my hometown very much lately, but I have done volunteer work and let me tell you.
When you physically are there to see the difference you make in the life of ONE person, it changes you. There is no room for despair or paralysis. You realize that simply helping in the way you can, in the amount you can, is SO INFINITELY worthwhile. It will change you forever as a person. Seriously
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