the eagle bearer

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

Knuckle tattoo that says %APP DATA

i feel like i never grew out of my Awkward Phase like damn this is just my life now

someone said they're in the backrooms

“Homophobes think about gay sex more than gay people do” WRONG I’m winning I promise you I’m winning

mcqueen

im begging of you please dont take my man

no no i actually think it’s super fun that you took that aro/ace character and bent them over backwards to make them gay!!!! we all know being gay is more #progressive than being aro/ace so i’m so glad you freed them from having a storyline unconnected from romance and shipping!!! you go diva!!!

I wanna say farm life sims are ridiculous, but honestly if a butch girl who ran a farm talked to me every day and gave me flowers twice a week I’d be sucking her cock by summer

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

I need something pornographic to happen to me soon