Emye

I just opened up a check in the mail, went to the ATM & found 20$ 😭 I’m not passing these shits up NO more on my mama!

Even if I do not receive money or good news, I did smile at seeing this smiling Buddha.

What a happy Buddha! 

This is precious and exactly what we all need.

for the first like 14 years of my life i thought that the story of saint valentine and valentines day were a celebration of a massive gay polyamorous marriage and let me tell you, i was sorely disappointed when i learned i had massively misunderstood that story

I like your version better too

my grandma’s watching fox news and i’m overhearing then losing their absolute shit over millennials not buying kraft singles

let’s be real though, it deserves to die.

it doesn’t taste anything like cheese.

Its not even allowed to be branded as “cheese” in most countries outside the US

Good

some parts of the video made me really scared even if i wasn’t present there and it’s really horrifying that the police officer has the power to those things 

Not titties, but this is dope…

I reblogged for the post but also because I don’t know when I’ll ever get a chance to reblog something that says “not titties, but this is dope”.

thank you, ancestors, for passing down detailed and cautious instructions on how not to get seduced and stolen away by mischievous female spirits, which I have lovingly transformed into How To Find Me a Wife Real Quick manual

I really want a movie where there’s this Dark Brooding Male Hero who’s like, a total badass, and during all the fight scenes he keeps getting flashbacks to happy images of his wife, and like his whole narrative is framed around his wife, and all the other heroes on his team know that he’s got this passion and vengeance and think it all has to do with his dead wife… but then near the end of the movie his wife shows up and he’s like “hey babe” they’re all shocked and they’re like, “Wait I thought all your power and passion came from avenging your dead wife?” and he’s like “no bro, I just really love my wife, she’s really cool, she’s what keeps me going” like… a reverse fridge

Unfridge your wives 2017

Unfridge your wives 2018

“This whole saving the world thing has kept me from seeing my wife for like, three days and I was really starting to miss her!”

oh no

Concept: a bunch of high school Satanists get drunk in the local graveyard and try to conjure a demon, but they’re using one of those “reconstructionist” ritual books that gets its sources all mixed up, so they end up with a minor Mithraic fertility spirit that hasn’t spoken with humans in like 1700 years instead. By the terms of its binding it’s not allowed to leave until it’s ensured a successful harvest for its summoners, which is a problem, because none of these goobers have ever raised so much as a houseplant; if it wants to go home, it’s going to have to teach them how to garden - whether they want to learn or not!

“Five high school sophomores were arrested today on charges of operating an illegal pot growing business behind the Home Depot on I-95. The 200-foot-tall plants, which police could see from their station…”

are we all just going to ignore that this thing is called a vendetta knife

I’m so mad because this worked

ROGER HELP ME