a h o r r o r

time---            oh how it bore the ability to turn in and over upon itself,            flipping days into weeks,            weeks into months,            and months into years...            or,            in the crain’s particular circumstance,            a singular year;            the first year.            in seven measly days,            the five children would be reminded            (    WHEN HAD THEY EVER TRULY FORGOTTEN, HM?    )            that three hundred and sixty five of them had painstakingly ticked away without her.            her,            who summoned the power with merely an embrace to set their worries sail upon the breeze.            her,            who offered her own shoulders as a place for their heaviness to rest upon.            her,            mother,            gone far too soon.            ❛  aunt janet is getting on my last nerve.  ❜             who else could she share the burden with but he,            older brother?            nellie and luke served in their comfortable place beneath her wing and where theo were concerned shirley believed she’d be looked over at as if two heads happened to be attached to her shoulders rather than one.            ❛  why does she get to decide what we do for...  ❜             there it was,            the guaranteed trail end of her vocables,            departing to a void land.            ❛  she called it an anniversary, steve. an anniversary. ❜

when shirley enters, olivia is nursing a headache and doing her best to hide that fact.   her daughter is intuitive and she knows it, but for now, she doubts she’ll notice.  moving over to the edge of the table where her eldest daughter was pouring lemonade, she allows a small smile to creep onto her lips  ;   the first one in a long while.    ❛   i’ll have your dad take a look at it.  maybe he can help.   ❜   deep down, she knows that the door won’t open for just anyone.  it only opens when you’re DREAMING.   she’s experienced it firsthand and part of her  ….   wishes that shirley could, too.    ❛    a pony?   ❜   she questions, snapping out of her daze for a moment before she lets out a breath.   ❛   she might have to settle for a new dress.   ponies are..   a lot of work.   ❜    and then, a hand lifts, running through her daughter’s partly-curly locks before she smiles once more. 

it’s  like  hearing  dad  .  and  that’s  why  he  refuse  to  look  at  her  anymore  .     𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬     𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞     𝐢𝐬     𝐨𝐥𝐝     𝐥𝐮𝐤𝐞  .     he  knows  that  .  it’s  why  they’re  here  in  the  first  place  ,  to  fix  it  .  but  to  be  quite  honest  ,  he  doesn’t  think  even  dad  could  fix  what’s  wrong  with  this  house  .  and  dad  could  fix  everything  .  but  as  she  brings  up  abigail  ,  face  twist  in  to  a  grimace  and  crayon  stop  colloring  inside  the  lines  he  had  previously  drawn  .     ❛     she  do  live  in  the  woods   !     ❜     ire  in  his  voice  that’s  rarely  there  ,  but  it’s  clear  as  day  now  .  it’s  the  only  thing  he  is  sure  about  .  he  twist  away  from  her  hand  and  gets  up  from  the  chair  ,  shake  of  his  head  .     ❛     you’re  wrong  ,  shirley  .  just  like  dad  .  i  told  you  ,  you  don’t  understand   !     ❜  

                  olivia  watches  with  an  awe  that  glosses  over  those  eyes  that  seem  to  emulate  the  hue  of  the  atmosphere  .  today  ,  they  are  bright  .  they  refract  the  sunlight  embedded  in  flecks  of  hazel  ,  reflecting  the  curiosity  that  seems  to  exude  from  the  girl  before  her  .  what  a  wonder  she  is  !  the  eventual  answer  that  she  produces  warms  the  matriarch’s  heart  in  a  way  that  slowly  meddles  in  the  cracks  this  world  had  produced  .  how  young  ,  but  impeccably  old  she  was  in  that  moment  .  her  shirley  .  olivia  knew  exactly  what  she  meant  .  she  could  feel  the  memories  hidden  behind  the  frozen  moment  on  the  glossy  picture  .  she  could  feel  it  deep  within  her  bones  ,  the  familiar  knowing  she’d  been  accustomed  to  .  lips  part  ,  but  a  response  falters  on  her  tongue  when  she  produces  a  polaroid  .  she  reaches  out  with  gentle  fingers  ,  her  touch  ghosting  along  the  edges  without  harming  this  moment  her  daughter  had  chosen  to  keep  forever  .  lips  turn  upward  in  a  grin  that  can  only  be  described  with  pride  .  ❛  that’s  how  you  see  me  ,  hmm  ?  ❜  she  questions  .  eyebrow  is  upturned  ,  and  she’s  quick  to  press  a  gentle  kiss  to  the  tousles  of  hair  at  the  crown  of  her  head  .  ❛  you  choose  my  best  moments  to  keep  .  ❜  her  eldest  daughter  had  the  soul  of  a  mother  buried  beneath  her  youth  .  already  worried  about  protecting  the  memories  of  her  siblings  while  they  acted  them  out  in  front  of  her  lens  .  it  left  her  breathless  .  forgive  olivia  for  trying  to  preserve  the  childhood  the  girl  so  rightfully  deserved  .  ❛  we  are  going  to  be  so  thankful  for  you  someday  when  we  need  to  remember  these  lost  things  .  but  don’t  be  so  busy  worrying  about  forgetting  that  you  forget  to  enjoy  what  you  have  . ❜

@oncewarm.sc.

     ‘ I mean, yeah, maybe your parents are doing up the entire house just to sell it on later, but why does that mean you kids can’t have a super cool fun zone in the meantime? ’ He might’ve made one. That’s what he’s getting at.