zoologically improbable

the videogame industry will see their own foot and be like is anybody else gonna shoot this and not wait for an answer

Is that a swarm of locust in your pants or are your dick and balls just heralding the end of days

Harder to crucify a being with eight legs

The US senate is such a gaggle of old fucks that the old fuck everyone was sure dropped dead last week wasn't even the old fuck that dropped dead last week

My edo period samurai roommate keeps telling me how i’ll bring shame and dishonor to our apartment if I keep forgetting to wash the dishes. Like whatever dude, I’m not the one carrying on a passionate yet illicit affair with the daimyo’s daughter whose hand has already been promised to another.

もう大名に「真に申し訳ございませんでした」と言いましたよ！と、お前は、我の浮気を公衆に明かさないと言いました！！

Bullshit dude last night I saw you texting O-Sumire haikus comparing her to the flower which gives her her name

kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab

some octopus had 900 hours in Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and you just fuckin stole his 3DS

i have #sickfreaks i feed my birds kellogg's

hello 👋 i am the worlds smallest bug 🐛 and ☝️ i too would like to “fag it up” if i may

Sorry we really went from free the nipple, take back the night, slut walks, and ending gender/sex segregation in sports being fucking milquetoast feminism 101 concepts to fucking girl dinner and "I just worry about fairness if we let trans girls play against cis ones" and "it was right of that woman to call the cops on a black man for existing near here in public during the day time because men are all violent monsters" and "radical feminism isn't transphobic we just need to kill all men including trans ones those oppressive traitors" and I will legit never be able to be normal about it. What the FUCK happened. I'd say I wonder what the feminists of my youth would say about this but I'm one and lemme tell ya I want to throw up. Go fucking read bell hooks or do something else useful please because all of this learned helplessness, gender essentialism, and transphobia dressed up as feminism is actively holding us back.