Instant Loss Puppy

okay but what about the coat of arms because if we don't have established heraldry the kingdom is going to collapse

1 of my wonderful tumblr.mp4 mutuals is working onsomthing

Not to mention that people speculate on the orientation of dead people CONSTANTLY. "Historians will call them good friends" was a meme that got turned into a goddamn song. Why is being transfem different.

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

computa make them think of me every time they cum

hiii just made it home from blowjob island ^-^ and YES, your MOM Was There. heh, how do i know??? its because she was with my mom. over there

yeah i tried to join them so what

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

5001 being divisible by 3 doesnt feel right

Seven is a godless number

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

So many women are looking for a “masc lesbian” but what they really mean is that they want a top who has their life together lmao

“You got masc vibes even though you are a femme” do I? Or do you just think that confidence and competence are inherently linked to masculinity?

Like if you want someone to top you till you cry then you should just say that. There are many women who can provide, many of them femme.

But also it’s kind of rude to assign gender roles and sexual preferences to someone just because they’re masc. just because she wears a snapback that doesn’t mean she’s a top or able to fix your car or whatever.

Anyway shoutout to John Williams, amazing composer and probably the one who made the other 50% of "holy shit amazing" soundtracks (Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Superman, and incidentally the original Harry Potter theme and score) who famously worked closely with the first openly transgender woman to be nominated for an Academy Award, Angela Morley. He respected her, and so far as I can see, has never made transphobic remarks.

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

Lesbian community I feel like we slept on Kiwi Cyberpunk and not in the sexy way unfortunately

"Kiwi is like 35-40 though" yeah what's not clicking.

took yall long enough smh

instant puppy

AND shes gained a ton of weight