Doctor James Harold Octavius Corby
he/him | novelist | notorious villain | victorian enthusiast | bad role model | aged 40

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@doctorcorby
Doctor James Harold Octavius Corby
he/him | novelist | notorious villain | victorian enthusiast | bad role model | aged 40

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ERIN VEST All The Horses Of Iceland
Whenever I listen to But, Mr. Adams and it gets to line âI can romp through Cupidâs Grove with great agilityâ I always picture something like this, which is disturbing. John Adams romping is disturbing.
Looking back on 2020, I think it's hilarious that Wellerman of all shanties is the one that blew up online. It's not a song about life on the high seas or adventuring
It's the "Where the fuck is my delivery" song
researching the history of education in japan and learning that, preâMeiji Restoration, peasants/commoners formed their own schools to become educated because it was the best way of fighting tax fraud.
That is, when an official told you, a rice farmer, that you owed more taxes than you really did, it was very useful if you were good enough at math to know he was lying (and could prove it) and if you were good enough at writing to write a letter to your government defending your case.
all of which is to say it's crazy that mega-corporations are now pushing education to be "what if you paid us whatever we tell you to for the rest of your life and never do math or write anything ever again"

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like. i'll leave this alone. but HOW are historical romance books not sexualizing the fall of breeches. literally a blowjob flap. not to mention the collars that open to the diaphragm. the dĂŠcolletage with a wide neckline one swift tug from being revealed. the calves on display. the intimacy of finally seeing the real hair beneath the wig. cmon it's basic storytelling
i love making a post that attracts everyone with usernames like mozartswigsweat and bonnetenthusiast and foppishrake and petticoatsonpetticoatsonpetticoats and dandyismunlimited within 48 hours. blessed webbed site. merry christmas to us all.
I love that Jules Verne asked the question "What kind of person could circumnavigate the world in 80 days?" and decided that the answer was not a groundbreaking explorer or genius inventor, but a guy who's really, really, really obsessed with train and boat schedules.
my final paper for my CS degree was literally "how can we algorithmically optimise for the fastest possible circumnavigation route on commercial flights?", which incidentally required me to adopt a very good working knowledge of what flight options are available at what times (and also led to me accidentally memorising several hundred airport codes)
incidentally the fastest possible route seems to be about 51 hours, if you're working from 2022 schedules like i was. if you use current schedules and are very optimistic about how quickly you can transfer between flights, you can maybe get it down to around 48 hours (also known as 25 millivernes).
The very best thing about tumblr is that you can make a post about a 154-year-old novel and get responses like this.
Someday I'm gonna.
cover of a 19th century book on practical taxidermyÂ
Fascinated by everyone's but especially American's desire to give medieval keeps, especially in colder regions, central heating (and I think Winterfell is to blame for this trope, where, to it's defence, the hot springs were not a matter of comfort but survival wrt the deadly fantasy Winter that's not real irl), because I'm always like. okay I know they told you in middle grade that castles were all cold and drafty but like ... no also what
There's generally going to be rooms dedicated to and build for warmth, the living quarters, both for nobles and their servants. This will be the central living tower, or parts of it called a Kemenate (literally 'room with a stove'), the great hall and work spaces around the kitchen. You can put the Kemenate on top of the hall to catch the big fires' and daily living's heat through the wooden floor, but you often can't put wooden stuff on top of the kitchens (that's a fire risk). If you have the money and space, you build a whole separate comfy place for living because you don't have to stay in the most defensible part of the castle all the time. These separate living buildings are also called Kemenate and are often build from wood, cob, brick etc.
People used to wear much more clothes indoors, including while sleeping, and those clothes were much thicker and sturdier than what we largely wear today. Every time you think of how cold those stone walls are, think about everyone wearing a linen shift + two-ish layers of wool on all body parts except hands and head + stockings and shoes + some kind of head-covering. In Ye Old Middle Ages, women are probably wearing a wimple, which is kind of like a modern Hijab in terms of coverage. People wear shifts, socks, and a head-covering to bed.
I think people used to radiators also really underestimate how much a large open fire/tiled stove heats up a room. Also, middle and northern Europe (as well as parts of Northern China) had and to this day have beds and benches build into tiled and cob stoves. Those fuck.
Beds are enclosed so you stay warm in them, either by curtains, in wall niches or with wood. There's also a type of bed that's inside a chest (like a coffin) so you can stuff your stuff inside during the day and put down the lid to use it as a bench. That's also another reason for people to always sleep in groups. Depending on the era, one of the jobs of a lady's maid or a retainer might literally be warming their master's bed. In early times and among servants, people also sleep in large groups in rooms together in general even outside a farming context, often with animals like pet dogs, too, which further warms everything up.
Walls are not bare, cold stone, but covered with a layer of plaster or cob, tiles or wooden panels, sometimes layered, and believe me, this makes such a difference. Source: I lived in a Ye Olde German Farmhouse with 70 cm thick stone walls and flag stone floor and all that converted to modern flats for a while.
On top of that you hang tapestries on the wall, which are not like modern printed cloth but basically wall rugs, sometimes several inches thick, and rugs or rushes (like a light cover of hay) on the floor on top of stone, tile, wooden panelling or a cob floor cover that goes over the heave flag stone. Pillows and blankets on all sitting surfaces, often on top of panelling (in the case of benches build into the stone). The roof of a room is also tiled, panelled or plastered. Upper stories will generally have wooden floors. Stories in a tower heat each other upwards, so the nicer rooms are further up.
The inner stone walls of a castle, even if stone and very thick, will heat up a few degrees in comparison to the outside walls if the castle is continually heated/lived in, and also trap heat inside, and this will make a difference. Inner walls might also be thinner and made of wood, cob or brick. You're defending against the outside, after all.
You put stuff in the windows. Holy shit. Screens of wood, horn, cloth or leather/hide, often treated for extra insulation. Why are these fantasy castles all so drafty.
Like, idk, I know Americans especially can't pop down to their nearby castle museum to have a look around, but even with people who can and do: The castles you'll see, even the ones who aren't 'ruined' are ruins. They're stripped down. I remember touring Norman towers in England, and those places do look dire and are cold because even if they're still standing, they're ruins. It makes such a difference to get to look at a castle that is still lived in, has been inhabited until recently, or has been historically restored where these amenities are preserved. The exact amenities will depend on the era, of course, but they'll be there. The publicly accessible parts of Burg Eltz are a great example to google, especially since I promise you, you have seen this specific castle before. They have pictures on their English language website here, and the German National Geographic has a few further inside pictures here. Seeing a place like that that isn't a ruin with bare, stripped walls, nothing in the windows, no decorations and furniture etc. makes you realise that yeah actually. My characters are probably just gonna go grab a pillow if their ass is cold on the window's stone bench. Blankets are a pretty old technology, humans (elves, dwarves, whatever) can figure that one out.
Oh these links are a FANTASTIC reference!
Remember the painting of Ivan the Terrible cradling his dying son?
Yes, yes, unequalled representation of unspeakable grief and guilt and horror, that's not important right now. Look at how heavily carpeted everything is -- multiple layers of carpets! -- and how heavily dressed they are.
Also in that painting, the object in the background looks like a ceramic/tile stove or heater. They were found all over Europe and are still used in some places (having experienced one in Hungary in -16c weather, they are amazing). They're like a descendant of hypocausts, where hot air was directed to warm specific areas of building.
The fuel was burned slowly and brick and tile structure acted like a giant radiator, staying warm for extended periods.

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you cant even begin poems with "i will sodomise and facef uck you" anymore. because of woke .
Holy fuck
I vaguely recall discourse about the dictionary pulling it's punches when it came to writing the definition for whatever latin verb means 'face-fuck' because 'to be the recipient of oral sex' is clean and true but doesn't come close enough to describing what the word means.
Yeah, Catullus gets censored a lot! I suspect a bit of it is just that we often get this idea of poets and poetry as... Light and fluffy?
Probably just because of what gets taught in schools. You end up getting the impression that a poems are about one of
Being sad
Walking through nature
Being sad whilst walking through nature.
Which is a slightly reductive take on a whole fucking medium.
Anyway, Catullus was less the stereotypical "upper class guy with a lot of education who loves nature and being depressed" sort of poet and is more to the "battle rapper" end of poetry.
He's got multiple poems that are basically diss tracks. This is exactly why Poem 16 (this one) comes straight out the gate with "I AM GOING TO BUTTFUCK AND FACEFUCK YOU" (lowercase letters wouldn't be developed for a few hundred more years, by definition everything Catullus wrote was in ALL UPPERCASE): Catullus is directing this poem at Marcus Furius Bibaculus (Bibaculus to his friends), who had an affair with Juventius: a woman Catullus had a (possibly unrequited) love for. In fact, this sort of reputation is part of what Catullus is saying. He's like "oh, you think I'm some weak pansy faggot because I'm a poet? Let's see how you feel after I shove my huge* manly dick up all your holes, bitch."
Anyway the whole reason I was supposed to be replying is to talk about how Latin is an amazing language to swear in. They've got some very fun words like irrumo, ittumare which means basically "to fuck someone's mouth", but in a single word. Face-fuck is really the best translation English has, and that's two words.
Plus Latin is an infected language! He didn't just say "face fuck", he said the first person singular future active indicative of "face fuck".
Irrumabo is a single word that packs all this info into its infected form. It's not just "what" (face fucking), it's who and when and how.
Who: me, singular. "We" are not going to face fuck you, I, personally, and going to face fuck you.
When: in the future. This is a thing that's going to happen. Latin has multiple moods for this, the indicative, imperative, and subjunctive.
He doesn't use the subjunctive, which'd mean "I hope I facefuck you: it'd be great if someday I get to face fuck you".
He doesn't use the imperative, which is for stating commands. He's not saying "get facefucked, idiot".
He uses the indicative. This is for stating facts. He's saying this as just a thing that will happen. As surely as the sun will rise tomorrow... I will facefuck you.
It's also active not passive, which means it's not "you will be facefucked by me". It's active, meaning it's "I am going to facefuck you".
The word is also derived from the word for teats? As in, it meant something like suckling?
Catullus is saying you're going to suck his cock like a baby feeding from their mother, and he's going to make you do this. This is just a thing that is going to happen.
And he says that all in ONE SINGLE WORD.
Latin is a lovely language for this sort of thing.
(there's also a lot of fascinating stuff about the second line of the poem: he calls Aurelius as pathicus, and Furius a cinaedus. These mean slightly different things! Translating them as "cocksucker" and "butt boy" is definitely one way to do it, but there's more to say about this, but this post is already way too long)
Anyway, while "first poet to ever get his bone on" is highly inaccurate (Sappho was centuries earlier! You think a woman who was so gay she gave us two of our words for WLW didn't BONE?), he definitely was one of the poets who most noticeably Absolutely Fucked and he made sure you knew it.
* he wouldn't have said "huge", this is a localization for our culture. The ancient romans thought big dicks were ugly, unrefined, and comical. (They borrowed this from the ancient greeks, incidentally)
I must know if the original Latin was also written in a dick shape
sadly not. Latin has a lot of fun tricks you can do with word order (because it's inflected, you can move words around for emphasis) and typography, but it wasn't penis-shaped originally.
that's a good way to localize it to english, though. Catullus 16 is 100% a poem about how Big* Catullus's dick is. * metaphorically, you understand. He's say he's got Big Dick Energy, not a literally big dick, because that wouldn't have worked for his culture.
@official-penis-posts ancient penis posting
"[...]who had an affair with Juventius: a woman Catullus had a (possibly unrequited) love for."
Correction: Juventius was a Local Twink that Catullus had the hots for and who definitely snubbed him and flounced off with someone else. Catullus' on-again-off-again girlfriend was Lesbia. Scholars disagree about which poem Furius and Aurelius teased him about that made him write Poem 16 -- could have been either 5 (about Lesbia) or 48 (about Juventius).
This is an important point because people need to know that All Roman Men Are Messy Bisexuals (and if they're not, then all their friends think that's super weird and kind of perverted).
One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."
I apologize in advance for the "haha I misread this and thought..." but in all seriousness for two readthroughs I legit thought this was a story about an archeology survey team in the woods who ran into bigfoot and had a nice chat with him about his day and didn't bother to take pictures or document anything because they're only interested in human stuff, not in cryptids, but bigfoot was also nice enough to direct them to some native american cairns, which he did not build.
As per my last clay tablet,
CCing Ibbi-Ilabrat on this one just to make sure weâre all on the same page!
âThe sesame is visibly dyingâ makes me lose it every time. My sesame #mysesame
âice water makes you sickâ âice water gives you stomach crampsâ iâm sorry if i have a hardy and oxlike american constitution but unless you have underlying health issues, the only water temperature that should cause adverse health effects is if you chug a gallon of boiling hot water that has also been laced with nefarious chemicals
AH, this person has never been on a forced 10k run in 90 degree heat 90 % humidity and then forced to slam a liter of ice water.
You will cramp. You will throw up. It will not rehydrate you at all. The medic will get to practice his large bore IVs.
Yeah, most people havenât and never will so this wonât actually happen to me.
This misinformation is actually dangerous. If you drink ice cold water after workout, you can freeze and crack your gut mucus that protects you from your own digestiĂłn acids and could create an ulcer.
in drinking ice water, you are functionally adding several ounces of 32° f water into a solid body of 100+ lbs at 98° f.
that water is not doing jack shit to your stomach lining, your body is simply too much of a thermal reservoir. the water is already increased significantly in temperature by the time it reaches your stomach.
in order to actually freeze anything inside your body you have to be drinking liquid nitrogen. ice water is fine!
it might make your stomach nerves uncomfy if you're super sensitive or not used to it, but it's not actually doing you physical harm
also note for everyone under extreme heat this summer who has access safe to ice: you can just hold an ice cube in your mouth to cool yourself down. it's good for you
Also ice water isn't actually freezing in temperature. That's why it's ice WATER and not just ice. Though even eating ice wouldn't freeze your stomach lining.
Saw a post and decided to fix it ^^

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Edward Gorey (1925â2000), âCemetery (Garden obelisks with skulls)â
pen and ink with wash on paper, 1980 â source
today I found out my mother doesnât know what dandelions are and now Iâm wondering what other strange secrets sheâs been quietly harboring
Where do you live that you donât have dandelions?
we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation
So after extensive interrogation I have an update:
my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.
the truth is actually weirder
sheâs aware dandelions look like this
she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions
she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?
she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.
gosh I enjoy this website
For comparison, this is a daffodil
See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.
i donât think so? iâm southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)
Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???
This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.
Theyâre marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!
This is a marigold:
âŚ.we need to start taking the phrase âgo touch grassâ more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u
âbuttercupsâ is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:
imo thereâs correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups
*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??
Yes, the pink one above is Oenothera speciosa.
Common names can be a bitch.
I mean this so genuinely, download the iNaturalist app or visit the website.
if youâve never heard of it, itâs like a pokedex for real life. each of those green markers is someoneâs observation. You donât even need to take pictures of âcoolâ organisms, you can take a picture of that spider in your bathroom, that little brown moth on your front door, that bird on your neighborâs fence, and the flowers no one can agree on the name of, and if you upload them to iNaturalist other people can help identify them for you. You can also obscure the precise location of your observation so you donât doxx yourself.
Itâs fun to learn the names of the things that live around you! Donât be someoneâs mom who doesnât know what a dandelion is!