zee

MAY 28, 1981

Dear Steven, 

I just arrived at camp! Kinda just missed you the whole bus ride over. I already made some friends with some of my cabin mates though! It’s kinda cool here there’s a really big lake, I’m pretty sure you would have liked it. But then again, it’s like you said, GIRLS ONLY!!! Can’t wait to hear about what you’re up to without me, stinky gross boy :)

Love, yours truly

MAY 31, 1981

Dear dickhead,

I’m flattered that your first instinct when you arrived was to write to me. Am I really that irresistible? Kidding. Life literally sucks without you, I know you said to not hang with Tommy but I literally have no one else to talk to. I was thinking of joining the summer basketball program at school just to pass time. I just don’t like the thought of having games and you not being in the crowd, like what’s the point if you’re not there to see me! It’s a sign to get home ASAP dude, you’re leaving me out to dieeeeee!

Love, your AWESOME HANDSOME BESTFRIEND STEVE HARRINGTON

JUNE 3, 1981

Dear Stinky Stevie,

I totally think you should join the basketball program, it would be cool if you got yourself a spot on the varsity team too! It’s definitely better than moping around all summer. I ALSO THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS!!!! STAY AWAY FROM THAT ASSHAT TOMMY!!! I don’t like how you act when you’re with him, his assholery is contagious. I’ll always be there to cheer you on, Steve, even if you can’t see me. I did an archery lesson today, got two bullseyes!! I think I’ll try fishing tomorrow. Miss you lots, dickhead!! Write back soon please :(

P.S. I had a dream you styled your hair different, I think you should experiment and surprise me when I get back

Love, yours truly

JUNE 6, 1981

Dear princess butthead,

Coach told me he wanted to put me on varsity when school starts, Tommy is real salty that I got a spot. We had a game last week, I could imagine you on the stands cheering me on. I kinda miss you dude. Also I don’t think I approve of you trying archery there… Just for my safety…  What kind of hair did I have in your dream??? What’s wrong with my current hair do you not like it :( It’s almost my birthday, what did you get me? Oh I know, you left me here to perish! Kidding. 2 months more til you come home, miss you.

Love, PRINCE CHARMING aka Steve the awesome

JUNE 9, 1981

Dear birthday boy,

I hope this one comes before or on your birthday, already kinda wrote it in advance! Happy Birthday Steve! I’m sorry I can’t be there with you to celebrate, but believe me when I say I’d give anything to teleport next to you. Mom and dad are probably gonna drop off my gift within the day, I hope you like it! Made it during one of our craft lessons here! I hope you had the best day today, I can’t believe you’re 16, dickhead! You’re the best person I know ;)

Love, yours truly 

JUNE 13, 1981

Dear princess, 

You really predicted that my dad would get me a car! He got me the 733i like I wanted!! She’s such a beaut, can’t wait for you to see it. Your family stopped by to drop some stuff off, your mom baked me my own cake too! And your brother and dad sang me happy birthday. I love your family, would be even better if you came home though. Your gift is awesome, by the way. How’d you even learn how to carve shit like this there??? I’m convinced they got you in like a military bootcamp.

P.S. Started doing something different with my hair, you better come home quick

P.P.S. You’re the best person I know too. 

Love, your Steve

JUNE 19, 1981

Dear Dweeben Harrington,

I’m trying to picture what hairstyle you got going on for yourself now! I bet it’s a bright red mohawk, totally your style. I’m glad you liked your gift! I thought of making it a tiger since that one time you said you felt like you could beat one in a fight… Which you still wouldn’t by the way, no matter how much you say otherwise! I’m learning how to play guitar here, now I want to get one when I get home. What does being 16 feel like?

Love, yours truly

JUNE 25, 1981

Dear princess stinkerton,

I would never get a mohawk, I’m offended you would even suggest that. I could totally beat a tiger in a fight though, especially now that basketball got me all toned up! Being 16 is pretty awesome, I basically feel like a grown up. Me and the guys have been going all over town in the beamer just doing random shit. You know parties just like seem to appear when you turn 16 like holyshit I’ve been to like 3 this week! 

P.S. Can’t wait to hear you play for me, I love listening to you

Love, King Steve

JULY 1, 1981

Dear dickhead,

King Steve?? That’s a new one, where’d that come from? You say you feel like a grownup every birthday, weirdo! Have you been drinking at these parties? Look at you, social butterfly!!! Or beetle more like it. Also don’t tell me that “the guys” includes Tommy Hagan. You know I think he’s such a bad influence on you! Please behave! I’ve learning a couple of Fleetwood Mac songs on the guitar, can’t wait to let you hear it :)

Love, yours truly

JULY 14, 1981

Dear Stinker,

It’s been a while since your last letter :( What have you been up to? Hope you didn’t forget about me. Camp has been fun but I’m looking forward to coming home in a few weeks! I’ve also been thinking about trying to get my license since a bunch of the girls here have theirs, I feel left out! Miss you lots, hope basketball has been treating you well. Behave!!!

Love, yours truly

AUGUST 3, 1981

Dear princess,

Hey, sorry it’s been a while. Got caught up with life stuff, basketball and all that shit. Can’t wait to see you next week. I doubt you’re sending me another, I wouldn’t send my ass one after ghosting you. Again, I’m so sorry I haven’t written in a while angel. What do you need your license for? You have me, I wouldn’t give you the chance to touch a steering wheel, I’ll be your personal driver! Basketball has been fun, coach got me up to team captain. I’ve been behaving, I swear! And yes, “the guys” includes Tommy, sorry. I’m working on it. I can’t wait to hear your voice, I miss you more than you can imagine.

P.S. Never ever think I would forget about you.

Love, Steve

⭒˚。⋆ 𖤐 ⋆。𖦹  ◡̈ . * ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ༘ ˚ ⋆ 𐙚

AUGUST 10, 1981

For the first time in his life, Steve Harrington awoke from his alarm without hitting snooze. He gets up with a start, stumbling out of bed and rushing towards the shower. He was finally going to see you today.

It’s been almost 3 months without you, a whole summer. He is definitely not letting you go to summer camp ever again. Not a day went by without him thinking about you. Every game, every party, and every hang out, he could only think about how everything would be so much more worth it if you were around.

Now, he didn’t have to think, you were here. The last time he saw you, you gave him a sign that maybe everything he’s felt for you all these years might not be so one sided.

Speeding out the shower, he almost trips over his own feet as he makes his way to the loveseat in his room where he laid out his carefully planned outfit that he set up three days ago. He wanted today to be perfect, he knows it isn’t technically a big day, but to him it is. He had the navy blue sweater that you gifted him last Christmas, and the pair of light wash jeans that you said made his butt look cute. He wasn’t sure if you were joking about the butt thing but he’ll take his chances.

This would probably be the first time Steve would be early to school. Already pulling into the school parking lot before most of the other cars were there. He didn’t know what time you would arrive, he just called your house last night only for your dad to answer him saying you had been knocked out since you arrived that afternoon. So he thought it best to let you have you beauty sleep and that it would be better if he didn’t drop by just yet.

-

The minutes ticked by and the school got more and more crowded. He deflates when he still hasn’t seen you after about 35 minutes. Tommy and his gang already spotted him and made their way towards his beamer. 

“Dude you’re so fucking early, what is up with that” Tommy laughs as he claps a hand over Steve’s shoulder. Steve huffs and nudges him with his elbow, “I’m waiting” he says not looking at Tommy, completely focused on all the incoming cars, looking for your dad’s. “Ah, right. Your little girlfriend’s coming back” he says rolling his eyes, now shifting his focus from Steve to the other boys talking animatedly around the car. “She’s not my girlfriend” Steve grumbles as he feels the tips of his ears heat up.

After 20 more minutes, Steve almost completely deflates and is openly pouting at your absence. “Dude she’s probably gonna skip out, let’s head in already” Tommy says exasperatedly at Steve nudging him with his foot. “Go in if you want, I’m waiting”, Steve insists, narrowing his eyes at him.

Tommy just rolls his eyes and continues talking to the other guys, eyeing and observing all the people coming into school.

Finally, Steve spots a familiar Ford country. He immediately straightens up from his position beside the beamer. He watches the door open and he felt his heart stutter. Then came you, and Steve almost ascends on the spot.

You were absolutely glowing. Steve has always known you were beautiful since he met you, he wasn’t sure if it’s because he hasn’t seen you for so long but everything about you right at this moment is overwhelming all his senses so much that he feels faint. 

Your hair was longer, skin a bit more tanned than usual, you had light freckles around your cheeks, and you just seemed so much brighter. You’ve definitely gone through more stages of puberty since he last saw you, you looked so much more mature than he remembered.

An annoying voice cuts through his inner monologue, “Shit, she got hot” Dave says while leaning on Steve’s beamer. All it took was a look from Steve to shut him up. He looks back to where you were, seeing you wave your dad goodbye, then finally turning around and spotting him. 

The smile on your face when you see him was earth shattering, you started jogging towards him, but that was all he needed to start sprinting across the school driveway towards you.

He feels his heartbeat in his ears as his legs move, seeing your form come closer and closer. He sees your smile shine even brighter up close and it makes every nerve in his body light up in anticipation.

When he reaches you, he wastes no time in picking you up in his arms. He hears you squeal his name as he spins you around. He feels your face buried in his neck, he can’t help the heat that spreads across his body.

Finally letting you down, his arms still around you, he looks down to see you eye to eye. Now all you can think about how much taller he’s gotten, and most especially his hair.

A shocked laugh escapes you as you reach up to touch his hair. “Oh my god, Stevie.” you say in disbelief. “Did I surprise you? Do you like it?” He says gently, nervous to hear your opinion. “I adore it, asshole. You look so pretty” you say still playing with his hair, then you look him right in the face and see the blush spread across his cheeks. That was enough for your own blush to appear onto yours as well. 

You swear you could feel his face inch closer before you two get startled by the ringing of the school bell. He loosens his grip on you to look at the school entrance, seeing some teachers already ushering students in. “Sorry I’m late, stinker” you say letting your hand rest on his shoulder.

“I really don’t care, I’m so tempted to just skip school today and just have you all to myself.” He says panting, he feels his heart still racing, though he can’t tell if it was because of the sprinting or if its the fact that it would be so easy to kiss you right where you two were. 

He knows it’s you, it’s always you.

He hears you laugh, “Careful, Stevie. Some people might think you’re selfish, maybe even a bad influence.” You smile at him, he feels his knees weaken. He can’t help but return your smile and counters, “I can’t not be selfish about you”. 

To his surprise, he watches a flush spread across your face and ears. He feels something lift in his chest when he realizes his words had an effect on you.

He laughs in disbelief as you shove his shoulder away from you and pinch his side. “When did you get so flirty, dickhead” you tease as you grab onto his sweater sleeve, “We’re going to class, Steve. Then, you’re buying me ice cream before eating dinner at my house” you add as you start dragging him towards the school entrance.

To outsiders it might seem like you were bossing him around, but to Steve? He was right where he wanted to be.

“Yes, ma’am” he smiles as he listens to you grumble about how horrific the weather was. 

-

Lunch finally rolls by, Steve spent his morning memorizing your schedule. He sighed when he saw that you were taking so many AP classes this year, only leaving you two to have 3 classes together. He’s gonna remember to call you a smart-ass when he sees you. 

He shuffles through the crowd of students to try and get to your classroom. Halfway through his pace a hand clamps onto his shoulder, he startles and turns around hoping to see you. To his dismay, it was Tommy along with some other people. “Now where is our King Steve headed? Lunch is that way” Tommy says as he gives Steve a confused look. Steve shrugs off his hand, “I was heading to-“ he starts, only to be cut off “I’m sure your babygirl can find her way to the cafeteria, hm?” Tommy says pulling his lips into a tight smile.

Steve narrows his eyes, and looks behind him to try at catch sight of you through the crowd. “Harrington”, he hears his name being called again, he feels conflicted seeing the group of people waiting for his word. He feels his ego inflate when he realizes that they were standing by just for him. 

He sighs and decides to head to the cafeteria first, it’s not like you asked him to come to you. It was just a thing he did. 

“Atta boy, make way! The King is hungry!” He hears boys from his group yell as they made their way down the hallway. He laughs at the attention, he feels his ego solidify even more. 

Before he could lose himself in their interactions, he feels a gentle hand take hold of his wrist. He glances behind him to find you, giving him a confused smile. He feels all the previous arrogance fade away. 

“What’s all the yelling for?” You ask, falling into step beside him. He leans down, “Nothing, they’re just being assholes” he mumbles into your ear. You giggle and he can’t help but feel giddy at the fact that you’re next to him. He loops his arm around your shoulders, shielding you from the crowd and guiding you into the cafeteria. 

-

Steve watches you scrunch your nose in distaste at the antics of his friends across the table. Unruly, disrespectful, and arrogant.

He feels uneasy seeing the way you scrutinize their behavior. You were an understanding person, so considerate and kind. So it really meant someone was quite off putting if you disliked them. He thought that if he just let you meet them, you would learn to eventually like them, or at least tolerate them.

But deep down he knew that it would be way out of the park. Yet, Steve was gonna try, because he can’t let go of the feeling of being idolized. He loved being worshipped like this.

He snakes his arm around you once again while you eat, leaning towards your face to ask, “Hey, you okay? Need anything? Do you want more juice?”. You startle but smile nonetheless. “I’m alright, Stevie. Can you finish my food for me though?” You whisper back, nudging your tray towards him. He can’t help but laugh, “Glad to see camp didn’t change your small ass appetite.” He says as he pinches your side. “Not my fault you have an appetite built for hibernation” you retort as you nudge his shoulder. 

Somebody clears their throat across the table, causing Steve to raise an eyebrow at whoever interrupted. “So, how was camp?” you glance confused realizing it was Carol Perkins talking to you. There was a weird lilt to her voice that Steve didn’t like.

If Steve didn’t like it, you definitely hated it.

“It was great Carol! Thank you for asking” you start genuinely, not really sure what she was planning. She grinned, “So what did you do over there? I’m not really educated on what girls like you do in their free time” she continues. You raise your eyebrows in shock, but a slow smile makes its way on your face. Steve sees this and quickly grabs your hand from under the table, he takes a warning glance towards Tommy and all he could do was shrug and geek over the interaction.

“Girls… like me?” You laugh lightly, gently squeezing Steve’s hand reassuring him you were fine. Steve knows you could have a temper on you, he’s been on the receiving end plenty of times. Then again, he knows you would never give anyone the satisfaction of knowing they got on your nerves.

“Yeah, like you” she says, slowly dragging her gaze sizing you up. You’re not sure why she’s coming at you like this, but you had a feeling that it was because your presence didn’t make her the only girl at the table anymore.

“You know, girls who are kinda loser-ish and stuff! No offense” she pouts.

Steve narrows his eyes at Carol, his grip on his fork getting tighter. He feels you brush your thumb over his knuckles. He spares a glance to the side of your face only to see you nodding along to whatever Carol was saying. 

“Oh! Yes! Thank you for clarifying that, Carol” you responded, but this time you obnoxiously matched her sickly sweet voice. “Well, for starters… probably just the opposite of what girls like you do.” you added, resting your chin on your hand as if being in thought. That made Carol’s eyebrow raise. 

“Girls like me?” she asks smiling, her boyfriend at her side glancing back and forth between you two like it was a ping pong match. 

“You know, girls who are kinda bitch-ish and stuff” you retort sincerely, smile being held back. You hear Steve snort next to you, Tommy snickers as Carol swats his arm shutting him up. Nudging Steve with your foot, trying to make him stop his fit. He takes the signal and clears his throat, “Does that clear things up, Perkins?” He adds.

“Yup, thanks” she says tightly, rolling her eyes she grabs her tray and gets up from the table. 

You shake your head in disbelief when your train of thought was broken by a mumble, “I really missed everything about you”, you turn your head to see Steve looking at you in that way he always did. You didn’t say anything back, all he gets in response is you lacing your fingers together with his.

That was more than enough for him to understand.

-

Weeks turn into months, day by day you start to notice how Steve was fading. He was still around, sure. But, something was different. The way he spoke, the way he walked, or the way he cared. It was always when his group of people were around, he got louder, bolder, more cocky, it became unsettling. 

Though, he would always change whenever it came to you. He would be softer, more gentle, less performative. Those moments were the ones that gave you hope. 

Until those moments started fading too.

He started cancelling plans, which would usually be no issue if he didn’t say that he was feeling under the weather. In reality, he was at Dave Graham’s basement getting drunk. He never used to lie to you, what changed?

He did.

It was the fourth month of his behavior when your heart started to waver. Not because your feelings were fading, you could never not love Steve. It just hurt that you had to watch him slip through your fingers.

Your mind couldn’t help but scatter, salvaging the moments that mattered. The way he would visit your house after school, when he was here he would be yours. The facade no longer present. He didn’t care what he did because there wasn’t an audience. The thought made you deflate, just thinking that he was like this since there were no eyes on him. 

He would lie in your bed, head in your lap. Sometimes speaking, sometimes listening, but most of the time just looking at you. He loved looking at you.

To Steve, he thought that it didn’t matter, the way he acted with his friends. You had the real him, it sucked that he had to perform for these people, but how else would he get them to worship him? 

He thought that you would understand. He pretended not to see the looks you gave him when his friends acted extra harsh. You would accept it, eventually. That’s what he kept telling himself. 

“You’ve been different” you said softly, Steve’s head was in your lap. It was a little bit past dinner, the two of you decided to watch a movie in your room. You felt his head move away from the screen, peering back to you. You could see some sleep in his eyes, you can’t help but smile, carding your fingers through his hair. “What do you mean?” He mumbles, eyes fluttering closed at your touch. 

“You know what I’m talking about” your words spike his anxiety. He clears his throat, now rolling his whole body to face you, he would sit up if his position wasn’t so comfortable. He frowns, “That’s not important” tracing shapes onto your pajama-clad thigh. Your smile falters but doesn’t leave your face, “It isn’t?” 

Just thinking about the possible disagreement from this conversation was making his head buzz. “Do you wanna to a party tonight? He blurts out nervously, he wasn’t looking at you. His eyes trained on a loose thread on your pajama bottoms. You frown, it was clear he was trying to change the subject.

“Where? Now?” You question, your fingers still making their rounds through his strands, you hear a hum from his chest at a particular tug. “In a while, at Turner’s. It’s not as big as you think.” still playing with the loose thread on your thigh, he finally looks up at you. You looked at him puzzled, calculating whether or not it would be a good idea.

“We don’t have to, I know you don’t really enjoy them-“ he started rambling, he slowly sat up from his position underneath you. “I’m down” you cut him off, surprise colors his features. “Really?” He checks, skeptical that you felt forced.

“Yeah, let me get ready.” You laugh as you get up from the bed, leaving Steve still dumbfounded. He smiles to himself once you close your bathroom door, he was nervous about how the night would go.

He knew that you and his friends might clash tonight, but in his head this was his way of making you tolerate them. He knows that it sounded messed up, but he just wants you to accept that he needed this.

-

Turner’s house was just a few blocks down from yours. Still, Steve chose to drive. He was in no rush, the car ran below the speed limit with the windows down. Watching you every now and then, hair moving gently with the breeze, he sees your eyes dart across the street taking in the night. 

You looked so beautiful.

The side of your face prickles from the weight of his gaze. “What?” You turn your head to him, smiling as he quickly turns back to the road. “Nothing. Just thinking” he says, shaking his head laughing. “That can’t be good” you tease, reaching out to brush a stray strand of his hair behind his ear.

His hand catches yours mid-action. You raise an eyebrow, you watch him lace your fingers together. That alone making your heart heat up in your chest, but you saw him blush as he glanced from the road, then back to you. He then looks you in the eyes, you see it then, the thing that remained unsaid between you two.

He was speaking to you through that look, he raises your intertwined hands and connects them to his lips. You feel the brush of them before he presses a chaste kiss to the back of your hand. You see his cheeks burn an even deeper color as he kept his eyes on you. All you can do is grin, “Eyes on the road” you say as you feel your body warm up. He laughs as he nods. 

To his surprise, he feels you lift your still intertwined hands too. He sneaks a glance towards you only to find your eyes already on him. You then mimic his earlier movement, you press your lips to the back of his hand. 

You watch him visibly melt on the spot.

“Stevie you just passed Turner’s house” you giggle as he still remained dazed. A switch went off in his brain as he frantically looks out his window to realize he already missed your destination. “Fuck” he grumbles but his smile doesn’t move.

-

The clock nears ten as you sat in a conversation pit next to Steve, surrounded by familiar unfamiliar people. People buzzed around, some tipsy, some sober.  Steve had one beer, his arm around your shoulders on the couch. He was speaking animatedly to some boys from the basketball team, you’re not sure if he’s noticed that you haven’t uttered a word in the past hour. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by jeering coming from the front of the house. “Got the goods! Where art thou King Steve!” An obnoxious voice yells into the living room, you come to realize that it was Tommy H. Following behind him was none other than Carol Perkins, whom upon seeing you narrows her eyes in distaste.

The feeling was mutual.

You feel Steve shift next to you, his arm around you lowering to give your arm a reassuring squeeze. Well, at least he remembered you were here. Conversations kept droning on as minutes turned into an hour. 

A call of your name snaps you out of your daze, you glance around to realize you were being spoken to by none other than Tommy Hagan himself. You feel Steve tense next to you. “Surprising to see you here, this isn’t your usual scene.” He sips on his red solo cup. You huff out a forced laugh, “Yeah, it really isn’t. But I’m down with whatever as long as I have good company” you respond, gesturing to Steve next to you, who is nervously smiling at this interaction.

Before Tommy could add on, a pitchy voice pipes up next to him, “So are you two like dating, fucking, or what?”. You hear somebody choke on their drink as the rest of the conversation died down around you. All attention now on your little exchange.

You raise an eyebrow, you take a peek at Steve’s reaction only to see him boring his eyes into Carol’s face. His arm no longer secure around your shoulders. You let out an awkward laugh, how the hell do you even respond to that. You open your mouth to retort but she beats you to it, “I’ll take that as a none of the above then, not surprised honestly! It’s alright though, I’m sure you’ll find someone in your own league.” Her venomous words masked in her sickeningly sweet voice.

“My own league?” You trail off, now sitting up straighter. You hear Steve clear his throat, as if trying to warn Carol not to go any further. “Oh come on, don’t act so oblivious! You must know you aren’t really part of our crowd!” She dares, she looks Steve in the eye. “You could be more compatible with… Oh my god, you would be great with Byers!” She lets out a fake gasp as if making a groundbreaking discovery. The boys around her snicker. 

“Not that bum.” You hear Tommy comment on the side, that made your skin prickle. “Don’t call him that.” You immediately defend, you look to Steve trying to get him to react. But all you see is him rubbing his eyes in desperation. You scoff, shrugging off his arm completely. He then looks up at you, alarmed, he can see that look in your face.

He knows. 

He knows you’re about to snap, but he still can’t seem to bring himself to say the words that matter. All he manages is, “Okay, cut it out.” Trying his best to still seem cool, even now when trying to defend you, he was performing for them. 

“Oh come on, we’re just looking out for you Steve! We wouldn’t want you to blunder your kingdom all for some average dud” she challenges. A surprised smile makes it onto your face, you immediately look to Steve just to see if he would do anything, at least say something.

“I think you’ve had too much to drink, Perkins. Get your girl in check, Tommy.” Is all he says.

That was it.

You scoff in disbelief as Steve looks at you apologetically. His eyes searching for your understanding. “I’m going home” you say carefully, grabbing your purse and leaving Steve in the living room. He drags a hand down his face and hisses in annoyance. “What the fuck is your problem, Carol?” He nearly yells at the curly headed brunette.

Shock makes an appearance on her face. “W- what?” She stutters looking around. “You know what, forget it. Tommy, when we say don’t let her tag along, we mean it.” He warns as he hastily makes his way out the door, ignoring the chorus of whoops around them.

Carol scoffs in disbelief, looking to Tommy as if to confirm, the way he didn’t meet her eyes answered her question.

You had made it out of the driveway when you hear heavy footsteps jogging behind you. “Angel, wait! Don’t mind them, they’re just being assholes” you hear Steve yell before he caught up with your pace. He grabs onto your wrist, forcing you to look at him. 

It takes you a moment to process what he was saying because you were in disbelief. This wasn’t your Steve, you wouldn’t have ever imagined him failing to defend you like he did just now. “Don’t listen to them? They’re all I hear, Steve! You say they’re just being assholes, but they’re your friends. That kind of makes you an asshole by association.” you finally say, feeling the heaviness in your chest, clenching your fists inside your hoodie pockets. 

Steve notices the tone of your voice, he feels his soul slowly tear when he realizes how far he’s going. But he can’t let go of his need for validation, his face hardens in defense. “Oh, so I’m an asshole now?” He scoffs, “Stop being so dramatic, they’re just saying bullshit!” He adds. He runs his hands through his hair, even when arguing you can’t help but appreciate how pretty he is, not that it matters right now.

“Just bullshit?” You repeat, your heart aches. He can’t make himself take it back anymore, this is who he is now. At least, that what he thinks. Maybe you’ll understand.

The burn in your chest matches the one in your eyes. “Bye, King Steve, hope your kingdom is what you dreamed of.” your voice is strained and gritty, it felt like the gravel beneath your feet was lodged in your throat. Hurt and confusion flashes in his eyes, but he lets nothing seep out but his pride. You spare no time, turning on your heel and making your way down the street. 

Before Steve could stop you, he was held back by Tommy. “Come on, man. Everyone’s waiting for you inside, your pet can wait” he jokes. Steve grimaces at Tommy’s words, “Don’t call her that” he says after shaking off Tommy’s grip on his arm. When he looks back he sees that you’re gone. “Whatever, dude” Tommy laughs as he playfully shoves Steve’s shoulder and heads back inside the house, yelling obscenities.

Staring at the spot where you once stood, all he could think was, “Shit” he verbalizes as he runs a hand through his hair. 

Tommy’s words echoes in his head.

Everybody’s waiting for you inside.

Steve Harrington then makes one of the worst decisions of his life. He sighs as he heads back into the house, preparing himself to perform for them once more.

-

It was a little after 12, Steve makes it back home. His house empty as per usual, he beelines to his room with the goal of calling you as soon as possible. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to call you late at night. You were usually awake studying, or doing one of your multiple hobbies. 

He dials your number and listens to it ring, his heart plummets when he realizes you aren’t picking up. He taps his fingers nervously on his bedside table, looking out the window seeing the clouds get darker. The line hits a dial tone and he feels anxiety bleed through his pores. He decides to leave a voicemail instead.

“Hey, I kinda took it too far at the party. You know how it is, I hope you understand. See you tomorrow” Is all he manages to say. Putting the phone down, he stares at his ceiling as he lies down. He feels an uneasy pit in his stomach, he just doesn’t know what it means. He starts to overthink the conversation, he knows he was being an absolute ass, he isn’t even sure why he took it that far either. 

You never liked saying goodbye, it was always “see you”. Yet tonight you said it, did he mess up? He looks to his side towards his alarm clock, it’s been thirty minutes since he left the voice mail.

You usually pick up or answer within ten. He starts replaying the whole conversation and he groans, he should’ve followed you. He just let you walk home? What the fuck was wrong with him.

He decides to leave another voicemail, palms sweating. “Hi. It’s me again, just checking in if you’re there, again, call me back when you can? Please? I’m sorry.” He puts down the phone, he feels pressure in his chest, he starts to contemplate whether or not he should head to your house.

His knee bounces relentlessly the next fifteen minutes, he finally decides to head over to your house instead. He hears thunder overhead as he speeds down to your neighborhood.

He nears your home, he furrows his brows when he sees all the lights in your room were out. Usually you left your faint night light on to help you see if you woke up at night.

He kills his engine and makes it out of his car, trying his best to make little noise. He nears your porch only to see a figure hunched near your steps. He feels little droplets of rain start hitting his skin, he then realizes that the figure was you. 

He calls out your name softly, as if approaching an easily startled animal. You made no effort to acknowledge his presence. He repeats your name, now firmer. He sees your eyes move to glance at him, he could see they were just full of emotion. He feels his throat catch at the thought of him being the reason you were in this state.

You wipe your eyes with your sleeves, slowly getting up from your position. Now you stood on your steps, now standing a bit taller than him. “Baby, I-I’m so sorry” he starts, trying to keep the burning in his throat down, he hears your breath hitch at the nickname.

“For?” Your voice betrays you, trembling around the edges. “I should’nt have let them talk to you like that. But- I told them- I shut them up.” He stumbles over his words, you opened your mouth to retort but he continued, “I know I should’ve said more but you have to understand. I have to keep be- being level-headed around them. You know the truth, you know I care. That’s all that matters.” He argues. 

Even now when trying to beg for forgiveness, he’s still performing for them.

You shake your head in disbelief, “I do understand, that’s the problem. I’ll never not understand you. It’s all I’ve ever done.” Your voice breaks, tears streaming down your cheeks. 

He feels stray tears dart down his face at the sight of you, “Do you know why?” You tremble. Feeling the wind pick up, the droplets of rain getting heavier. 

You pause, sniffling your tears, “Because I love you, like it’s breathing.” You manage to blurt out. Steve feels the air knock out of his lungs, this was all he’s ever wanted to hear for years. His face lifts in realization, he watches you reach to the side of your porch, grabbing an umbrella and tossing it at him. 

He watches you in disbelief, he rushes his words, “I’ve always loved you, Baby- I’m so fucking crazy about you.” he hears his voice break with passion. More tears flow down his face, his breathing getting more desperate. He was so close to finally having you, but he had to make you pull away. Rain starts dampening his hair and clothes, masking his emotion. 

“You don’t act like it. You don’t do what you did to a friend, let alone the one you love” your voice cracking, before he could get any closer, you turned on your heel and tried to make your way back into your house. Thunder roaring above you both, it was like the heavens were fighting alongside you.

Steve stumbles trying to make his way to you, he steps onto your porch to reach out for you. Even in desperation he held your hand with such care, “Angel, I’m sorry. Please, just listen-“ he tried to reason, you could see his eyes get more flushed with each second.  

“Sorry enough to stop?” You interrupt, searching his eyes for an answer. His eyes cloud with conflict, he had to think about it. “B-baby, please” he hiccups, he was now on his knees begging. Yet, he still couldn’t bring himself to promise to change. 

That was all you needed to see.

You shake off his grip on your hand, ignoring the chants of petnames he was spewing. 

“That’s what I thought.” You shook your head and turned to look at him, your heart broke at how devastated he looked. “I can’t be around you, Steve” you mumble. 

“Angel” is all he could manage to say, his lip wobbling, tears getting fatter and collecting on his chin. You hesitantly bring your hands to cup the sides of his face, you watch his eyes flutter closed and he lets out a shudder. 

Just for a minute, you almost thought of accepting him. He was on his knees for you, borderline sobbing for you. But then you thought that if the right people were around, he would never even taken three steps to your porch.

You brush your thumbs to wipe away his tears, his eyes looking bigger when full of emotion. He peers up at you in anticipation, he could still feel the warmth in your actions. He thinks you two could get through this, just before he could plead once more, he felt your touch loosen around his cheeks. He sees the glint in your eyes that made his fight or flight instincts go off.

You weren’t going to stay.

“N-No, please!” His pleads synchronize with the thunder, the rain falling even harder now. 

“Grow up, Harrington” is all he hears before you leave him on your porch.

Steve isn’t sure how long he spent outside, he didn’t even know what to do at this point. The pain in his chest was unbearable, he literally feels like he could just die on the spot. 

He just managed to do the thing he could never fathom doing in his entire life.

He lost you.

⭒˚。⋆ 𖤐 ⋆。𖦹  ◡̈ . * ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ༘ ˚ ⋆ 𐙚

A/N: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! laughing thru tears right now, should i leave it at this or have part 3 steve redemption.... lmk....

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